I met a man three years ago, we have grown very close and I have fallen in and out of love with him many times. I trust him, and though I know it won't work out, I am scared to leave because he knows me well so it is comfortable. The thought of starting over with someone new is overwhelming as I have a really hard time opening up.
He knows nothing about my very spiritual side. It is something that we have just never talked about and over the years my knowledge and focus on my spirituality has become extremely important with me. He often gets very frustrated with me because I prefer to stay home- he is not aware of my empathic gift.
I am beyond scared to tell him about my abilities and growing spirituality. He is very realistic, so I am scared to push him away by freaking him out. As a libra, I do whatever it takes to keep him happy and to have minimal conflict, so I keep most of my thoughts and feelings that need to be shared to myself. He urges me to speak my mind but when I try I am physically incapable of speaking. I try and I can't get anything out. Does this happen to anyone else? He gets so upset because he feels like I can't trust him but the reality is whenever I try to talk about myself it's like I enter a new realm and it becomes IMPOSSIBLE.
Will I ever be able to open up about the most important part of myself? Will I ever be able to tell him? What will he think when I tell him? Will he think I am crazy??? If I leave him, will I even be able to tell someone else? AH.