Emmy Long

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Feeling pressured

By: Emmy Long
Posted in:
I'm not sure where to start or where this will end or even if it will end up being about empathy. I feel pressure from everybody in my life right now. I have always been about living life my way and by my own standards, but to have relationships with others you have to conform to an extent and I understand that. But lately it seems like the things I have to do to maintain these relationships are putting a lot of pressure and stress on me. These are things I should be doing to better myself, but at the moment, I don't have the inner strength to make myself do them. I'm just not ready. I know I need to wait and do things at a pace I can handle, but the repercussions it's going to have on some of my relationships when it's all out in the open are going to cause me even more stress. Ive been hiding my lack of progress from some people and I know I need to be honest and get it out in the open. But I know the stress that's going to come of it when I do. I'm lost at the moment.
Emmy Long
01/18/15 07:08:05PM @emmy-long:
I am a people pleaser to an extent. I won't do something I think is wrong to make another person happy, but if it isn't hurting anyone (me included) I'll usually try to do it.its hard to say forget it to the people in my current situation because most of them are family. The biggest stressor at the moment is school. I'm not financially or emotionally stable enough to finish my last semester of college right now. I'm only 4 classes from graduation and I have no doubt I'll do it, but I can't go to school and work enough hours to pay my bills at the same time. My parents don't know I'm not taking classes and if they find out they'll take away the car they gave me and the insurance for it. I have to have insurance for my job and a car to get there. I need to tell them soon I'm not in school but I don't want to think about what's going to happen when I do. I can't afford to buy a car at the moment and even if I manage to save up enough money then I'll have even less to pay for school. :/ and if I lose my insurance and my job I'm really screwed. I don't know what to do. I'm terrified to tell them but I know I have to. They won't understand my reasons for waiting. The last semester I took I was so unstable my grades slipped a lot and I know it would be even worse if I tried again this semester. I have too much going on to focus on school. It's hard being 23, on your own with no support, work a full time job, AND go to school full time. I just need a semester off to regroup, but there's no telling that to them.