Emmy Long

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Feeling a little guilty

By: Emmy Long
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"With great power comes great responsibility." They said that on Spider-man but it applies to my life right now. There is somebody in my life currently (not exactly by my own choice) who has been driving me absolutely crazy with their blatant lack of respect for me. With the exception of a few rude remarks under my breath, I had been letting it slide because they are a friend of my boyfriend. Well, last night I finally let loose on this person. Let me preface this by saying I have a ROTTEN temper but I can control it well, but once I lose it I can be a little a-hole. Last night this person needed my boyfriend to give them a ride using my car. I said ok but that I had to be to work in an hour and not to make me late. They show up about 3 min before I'm supposed to be to work (its a ten min drive). And I absolutely lost it, this person has a bad habit of saying something is going to take 5 min and then it takes like 20. Apparently my boyfriend thought it would be fine to take me to work then go drop his friend off. I told them to both get out of my car and then I made his friend WALK home. It's like a 30 min walk. And it's cold here. I could feel how angry I made his friend.Now I'm not saying he maybe didn't deserve it, but here's why I feel so guilty. I actually liked that I made him so mad. It was like finally after treating me like crap, causing problems in my relationship, using my boyfriend, I had finally gotten him back. I never want to use empathy as a way to get revenge because revenge is ugly and this gift is beautiful. So for that reason, I feel a little guilty. Am I crazy?
Emmy Long
01/04/15 03:47:00AM @emmy-long:
MA: well I can say for sure I've learned not to let somebody use my car an hour before I need to be to work. :) I do realize I could have avoided the while situation had I just said no. That's something I've been working on for well over a year now. I also know not to let things build up to that point. I will take that with me, but I will also say, this guy is the kind of person where doing what I did was the only way he would ever listen to me. Of course I do still see a better solution to this problem than what I did. I simply should have not let him into my life. If I don't associate with people who act that way, I never have to deal with them acting that way to begin with. :)I knew all of this already, and I know my problem stems from having trouble saying no. But if I'm being honest, I still don't feel bad for doing that to him.