Recognizing the Divergent Path
I very often tell the story of meeting a woman when i was in my early teens who drew me in with her aura. And how from then on, I sought to emulate her in every way until one day I realized that I could never be her or even like her because we were two different people. What drew me to her was the fact that she experienced the same knowingness that I experienced. She called herself an empath, which is how I learned of the term. Because I felt like her, I was an empath. We shared similar perceptions on circumstances and it made me realize that I was not alone. She made me feel like for once in my life, I belonged. It might not have been in my immediate circumstances, but somewhere out there were people who were like me.
I often thought that as an empath, I was suppose to act, feel, think, and be a certain way. So I sought to emulate her, her strength, her manner of speech, the kind of people she gravitated towards. I wanted to be her. But she had talents I did not. She was an artist, a painter, a dancer, very much into beauty, facial features and make up. She was very feminine. She was emotional. She was very much a woman. I was not. I am not. I was neutral. I was into psychology, into writing, healthcare, playing sports, reading. I couldn't draw or do arts and crafts to save my life. In college, I took no joy in the arts and often avoided it, opting instead for the humanities, psychology, theology, english, sociology, philosophy. She was a feeler, very touchy feely, and though I was intuitive (and loved hugs from the ones I loved), I was a thinker.
This morning, I woke up and googled her. Being so far away from home and alone in a new place has given me the time and space to examine myself. And I realized just how different my life has been from hers and always has been. We are alike. She looks like me and reminds me of many members of my family in figure and looks. We are empaths. And we often do share similar perceptions on life. But we are different. She's into a lifestyle that I have yet to find appealing (though in my attempts to emulate her, I did try veganism and to align myself with the ascension theory). While she's gone on to create her own beauty business, I've found far more enjoyment in writing, reading, traveling, and healthcare. Her symbol of choice was often the butterfly, wings spread, beautifully bright. I understood. But we are not completely the same. I understand that now too.