Both parties are empaths - suspecting Twinflames

ladygirl86
@ladygirl86
10 months ago
16 posts
I recently realized that I am an empath (clairvoyant and claircognizant, the latter more dominant) - I am very very conservative in nature and extremely rational from which to judge.

I recently met a man 8 years my senior on Tinder while going through a challenging divorce (another story of its own.) My intentions were never to get into a relationship but to have sex. We are both single.

In retrospect, I had seen 11:11 everywhere, disregarded the sign. I truly wasn't aware of soulmates let alone twinflames (learned of it this past week, not even searching.)

When I heard his voice for the first time, I felt the immediate gravitation toward him. He experienced the same. There have been more signs (or coincidents) such as: my house number is his birthdate (which had him think a lot) and my new work place building bears his name (he does not know). All is very strange, I am still freaked out. When I met him for the first time, I felt like coming home, not just familiar. I cannot describe it in words. It's this sensation in my abs/ tummy, not just butterflies, but a strong gravitational pull. As soon as I sat down at the table during the first date, he immediately reached for my hands and we held hands all day that day. I felt a strong flow of energy exchange through our hands.

However, our dynamic for the first three months has always been hot and cold. He would tell me he feel the energetic attraction from me (never said between us), that we have tantric like attraction, blah blah... But continued to run way and came back. When asked if he was an empath, he admitted. He's a clairsentient. During the time we saw each other, we could not have sex right away. Every time we attempted, something would happen. For that reason, we only had sex the last 3 weeks of the "relationship". Well it ended abruptly. We had dated for only 3 months during which time he confessed multiple times that my "weirdness was growing on him." for the record, I am not weird by any means. Normal people often mistaken me for a typical millennial. I could sense his anxiety and insecurity like noone else. I could feel his presence when we are not together. I could/ still can smell his scent even though we have not seen each other 1 whole month today. When we were "together", I could smell him yards away. He often confessed the energy flowing between us was intense. He was the only that brought me back to this spiritual life after I had tried to deny it for the last 15 years. He told me that he thought I was a "basic bitch" at first, but I was not and never will be but he didn't want to talk about it...(wtf?????)

He broke up with me to start seeing someone. Having strong personality and dignity, I let him go (cut off cold turkey). Despite the pain of a broken heart, I feel a strange sensation of calmness. I have never felt this in my life post break up. The calm isn't pre storm calmness, it is the zen as if my soul knows all will be fine. He'd been calling to talk but I cut him off completely. I encouraged him to be on his own to think about what he really wanted because I would not accept a man blowing hot and cold. I don't hate him or wish him any malice. I didn't even care whom he was seeing, not even a least bit curious (strange.)

For the record, we are both highly educated and both have steady career paths. He's a psychiatrist and I have been doing well in the corporate environment.

The last time we saw each other, my heart broke as I received the knowing that he was going to break up with me. I tried so hard to not tell him what knowing I received. But being a clairsentient, he felt my heart breaking and he was concerned. It was so dramatic. I had to persuade him that everything was fine even though my heart was bleeding and he felt the pain and described itaccurately as I felt that he wanted to throw up. I guess he didnt know he was gonna break up with me then.

2017 was a terrible year for me. First my husband divorced me and tried to leave me penniless (even though I am the breadwinner). The very same year (months later) I met this man, whom I felt like home. And then only for him to leave me in 2018 for someone else? I want to feel that it is over and I already let go. But why do I feel so calm?

I am rambling now... I am freaked out by all of this. Someone please help guide me.
updated by @ladygirl86: 02/06/18 08:11:53AM
sashacat1995
@sashacat1995
10 months ago
40 posts

If you feel calm, it could be that you have completed a much needed lesson for your soul's path.  Have you tried meditating on the experience?

Rachel Browne
Rachel Browne
@rachel-browne
10 months ago
9 posts

Do you have a specific question you want guidance on?

How do you feel about this whole experience right now, in this moment? 

ladygirl86
@ladygirl86
10 months ago
16 posts

sashacat1995:

If you feel calm, it could be that you have completed a much needed lesson for your soul's path.  Have you tried meditating on the experience?

Thank you for your input. OMG that makes sense. I have never let go the way I did despite strong feelings. I have attempted.

Update, I have asked the universe to show me if he was my twin flame and have been receiving 3333 everywhere. What does this mean?

He texted me 2 days ago asking as to when I would return. I am so hurt and discouraged by the whole thing he created that I am unsure if I wanted to even respond. I feel like there has to be more effort than just inquiring on my return date. On a 3d level, this is still unacceptable to me. 

sashacat1995
@sashacat1995
10 months ago
40 posts

@ladygirl86 I definitely think that the synchronicity is something to watch for.  I would follow your gut.  What do you think it is telling you by 3333.  Does it feel like a yes or no?  One thing that I would think is because it's four 3s that it is a sign that he is your twin flame.  

The sad news is that although twin flame relationships are usually very passionate, it is not likely that he is your soul mate.  Instead, twin flames usually appear in your life to help your soul evolve somehow.  They typically don't stay in your life for very long.

ladygirl86
@ladygirl86
10 months ago
16 posts

Rachel Browne:

Do you have a specific question you want guidance on?

How do you feel about this whole experience right now, in this moment? 

Rachel, I unfortunate don't. I am at a loss. All of these realizations are so new and overwhelming to me.

But based on all that you guys have explained, it is a bit more clear to me now. I am still not responsive to his messages. But it gave me more reasons to believe that he is my twinflame now more than ever before (if we even are.) He helped me realize my gifts. He revived my pain of being abandoned (cheated on, rejected.) I handled being rejected with such dignity (I told him I didnt want an unstable man) the way I had never had. In turn, I helped him realize what an unhealthy person he had been in relationships without intentionally trying to do so (he confessed this to me verbatim after I decided to let him go.) I helped him realize the value of pure, true unconditional love (his words.) The fact that he's been reaching out to me trying to talk hints to me that somehow he feels that there is unfinished business.And I am unsure what ( i have a good guess but dont know the specifics).

My confusion now mostly resides on the 3d level, which I guess is irrelevant here. I am still in love with this man. But I am scared to lose years in an unstable relationship. He is everything (almost) that I am not to the point that he's a mirrored image of me (down to the tee). I must also mention that he seems to have ED (he admitted), and I have been struggling with partners who cant satisfy me sexually all my life, including my ex husband. I am so torn. Do I talk to him, do I not! The clock is definitely ticking as he will relocate for his new job (which I was with him every step of the process) in 7 months. I have s strong feeling that we will. But if we truly do, should I even tell him my realization of twin flame?

ladygirl86
@ladygirl86
10 months ago
16 posts

sashacat1995:

@ladygirl86 I definitely think that the synchronicity is something to watch for.  I would follow your gut.  What do you think it is telling you by 3333.  Does it feel like a yes or no?  One thing that I would think is because it's four 3s that it is a sign that he is your twin flame.  

The sad news is that although twin flame relationships are usually very passionate, it is not likely that he is your soul mate.  Instead, twin flames usually appear in your life to help your soul evolve somehow.  They typically don't stay in your life for very long.

it feels like a yes even though I dont want him to be my twinflame.

This sad part was exactly why I didnt want him to be my twin. He even told me from the beginning that our personalities were too different and that we were going to conflict (or it could have been a bs excuse to not fully commit.) He's just not my type, and I hate it that I am so in love with him

sashacat1995
@sashacat1995
10 months ago
40 posts

I think you should ask yourself why you're in love with him.  In my opinion, twin flames are hotbeds for infatuation.

sashacat1995
@sashacat1995
10 months ago
40 posts

sashacat1995:

I think you should ask yourself why you're in love with him.  In my opinion, twin flames tend to be hotbeds for infatuation.

sashacat1995
@sashacat1995
10 months ago
40 posts

I think you should ask yourself why you're in love with him.  In my opinion, twin flames tend to be hotbeds for infatuation.

ladygirl86
@ladygirl86
10 months ago
16 posts

sashacat1995:

I think you should ask yourself why you're in love with him.  In my opinion, twin flames tend to be hotbeds for infatuation.

thanks girl. I didn't fall in love with him :( It wasnt even love at first sight as it felt like I had always been in love with him for some strange reason. I knew it the first time we chatted on the phone. Since conversation is highly unavoidable at this point (feeling/ knowing), what should I focus on when we do actually spreak  (i am dreading this)

Rachel Browne
Rachel Browne
@rachel-browne
10 months ago
9 posts

Is it possible you are repeating an unconconscious relationship pattern with this person?

ladygirl86
@ladygirl86
10 months ago
16 posts

Rachel Browne:

Is it possible you are repeating an unconconscious relationship pattern with this person?

thank you for your time. would you mind elaborating? repeating as in my prior relationship with him in this life time?

Rachel Browne
Rachel Browne
@rachel-browne
10 months ago
9 posts

Repeating patterns, as in patterns from previous relationships with other lovers in this lifetime.

This is a very common thing we all do, because it happens at an unconscious level. The downside is we keep getting the same disappointing outcome.

I ask because you mention that you've been sexually unfulfilled in past relationships, and now you also might be if you go ahead with this one. That would be a pattern (it's great that you realized this).

Here's some info:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evil-deeds/200806/essential-secrets-psychotherapy-repetitive-relationship-patterns

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mary-montero/is-history-repeating-itse_b_672518.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anxiety-zen/201603/why-do-we-repeat-the-past-in-our-relationships

sashacat1995
@sashacat1995
10 months ago
40 posts

ladygirl86:


sashacat1995:

I think you should ask yourself why you're in love with him.  In my opinion, twin flames tend to be hotbeds for infatuation.

thanks girl. I didn't fall in love with him :( It wasnt even love at first sight as it felt like I had always been in love with him for some strange reason. I knew it the first time we chatted on the phone. Since conversation is highly unavoidable at this point (feeling/ knowing), what should I focus on when we do actually spreak  (i am dreading this)

How is conversation unavoidable?  Do you work or live together?

Regardless I would say just keep in mind what is most healthy for you and your spirit.  If you start feeling bad, consider that maybe you do not have to be engaging with this person.

ladygirl86
@ladygirl86
10 months ago
16 posts

Rachel Browne:

Repeating patterns, as in patterns from previous relationships with other lovers in this lifetime.

This is a very common thing we all do, because it happens at an unconscious level. The downside is we keep getting the same disappointing outcome.

I ask because you mention that you've been sexually unfulfilled in past relationships, and now you also might be if you go ahead with this one. That would be a pattern (it's great that you realized this).

Here's some info:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evil-deeds/200806/essential-secrets-psychotherapy-repetitive-relationship-patterns

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mary-montero/is-history-repeating-itse_b_672518.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anxiety-zen/201603/why-do-we-repeat-the-past-in-our-relationships

Thank you for the invaluable input. Our sexual chemistry was off the chart (i guess thats common) and was not indicative of what he had shared with me at all. I do too see your point and hence I feel like if we have this reunion, I will be greatly disappointed. For that reason, I am torn. I hate the fact that I am so connected to him. I am dreading having to talk with him ever again, yet at the same time his face keeps popping in my head.

His childhood and his everything was the opposite of mine ( upbringings, habits, personality). I have never found them attractive in mens, however, when it comes to him, it feels normal. I hate being irrational.

My now real question is, since a follow up conversation is impending, what shall I discuss with him so that maybe we can put this behind us? Should I reveal my discovery to him and be real about the whole situation and for us to make a decision collectively so that we both have closure? I feel like even though we are spiritually connected, on the 3d plane, we have some serious disconnect. If he already made up his mind about leaving me for someone else, why bother coming back for more pain and suffering to have another dialogue. I dislike drama. Im afraid he would show again in the future because I cant handle another divorce.

ladygirl86
@ladygirl86
10 months ago
16 posts

sashacat1995:


ladygirl86:


sashacat1995:

I think you should ask yourself why you're in love with him.  In my opinion, twin flames tend to be hotbeds for infatuation.

thanks girl. I didn't fall in love with him :( It wasnt even love at first sight as it felt like I had always been in love with him for some strange reason. I knew it the first time we chatted on the phone. Since conversation is highly unavoidable at this point (feeling/ knowing), what should I focus on when we do actually spreak  (i am dreading this)

How is conversation unavoidable?  Do you work or live together?

Regardless I would say just keep in mind what is most healthy for you and your spirit.  If you start feeling bad, consider that maybe you do not have to be engaging with this person.

It's just my knowing even though I make a concious decision to avoid him. No we dont work together - I met him on Tinder. And we dont live together either. When he broke it to me that he was starting to see someone else, I cut off communication with him entirely (cold turkey). But he has been carrying on a monologue as seen alongside phone calls. I suspect that he already knew that we were something spiritual, or even suspect twinflames just like I do right now. But why coming back now? Is there a benefit to this all for him? After all, he met someone (he said)

ladygirl86
@ladygirl86
10 months ago
16 posts

violet:

@ladygirl86 hi, I find your post really interesting; I cant help but feel part of you doesn't want to let him go or that you kind of took a step back to respect his wishes to move on with someone else? and he somewhat feels at a loss of possibly letting you go, the fact that he keeps coming back perhaps there's more beneath the surface that should be addressed between the two of you?

being an empath myself on a continuous learning experience I find myself caught in synchronicity with some people that I'm connected to on a spiritual level and I too see particular numbers that stand out to me, especially concerning the very first moment someone I met. I don't know much about numerology and its association with empathy aside they may play some significance to some extent but cannot determine as to what. Having said that I did at one point look into more detail the difference between soulmates and twinflames and as much as there is a spark, I cannot determine if its meant to be short-lived or something secure in the future. but what/how do you feel in your situation? 

in terms of relationships its tough especially that you mentioned you were never able to feel fulfilled on a more intimate level, is that on an empathic level in terms of relationships with someone who is non-empathic or with empathic partners? just want to try and understand your situation more.

Hi Violet,

Thank you for coming by and the input. I have been away to the other side of the world trying to clear my head on the whole situation. I tried to stay as far away from him as possible to prevent him from feeling me - he's a clairsentient. His ability has been proven to me many times. I was absolutely shattered learning of our connection - I didn't want it to be true. As I explained, it is very very hard for me to accept such a man on the principle level in the 3d world, and I told him this already.

Since posted my initial posting, he has reached out to me again twice inquiring my return date to the States - this was 20 days after he had told me he had started seeing someone and I broke it off with him . I finally responded to him 7 days post his last inquiry telling him my return date. He asked how my trip was going and I told him it was amazing (i kept it short.) I asked if he needed something from me, to which he quickly responded saying how I deserved an amazing time, without answering my direct question or addressing what he wanted from me via the outreach.

Latest Development:

I met someone (let's call him B) this past week. We have a strong connection (but nowhere as close to the level of my other one), but not energetically. We talked for hours and hours and it's been crazy to have met someone with whom I get along so effortlessly. He checks all of my 3d boxes: handsome, hot (really nice body), charming, compassionate, honest, loyal (from what I can see - he asked to commit to me even after I told him about the TF guy), Amazing SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY... However, again, nothing compared to the energetic connection I shared with my suspected twin-flame. With my TF, just looking at his picture sends chills down my spines.  I can still feel my TF, like he banged the chick or something (or maybe it's just in my head). Perhaps, he could feel me banging the new guy too. Sex with my new guy is WAYYYYYYYYYY better than with my TF (because my TF seems to have ED, his hardons are sporadic).

To answer the your last question, Violet, I have never been with an empath before. I have or now had never met anyone who is sexually compatible to me (well, until this new aforementioned guy came along these past few days.)

I feel like with my TF, we still have unfinished business, which is why I feel like a crucial conversation is impending. I know he will come around in the future, I want to nip that in the butt. I never suffer from the lack of male attention (sounds snobbish but factual.) So what my TF did to me was the ultimate offense, no gray areas. I am still very strongly connected to him, I can feel it.

I am contemplating having a conversation with him if he reaches out again to tell him of this special spiritual connection that we share, at the same time telling him that it is OVER between us as I cannot accept a man who is so confused and insecure. Is that too cruel?

When I met my TF, I can keenly sense his anxiety from miles away and that he was very insecure. I even told him what I sensed. This was unusual to me because I normally find insecure man unattractive. Again, the whole TF concept has been strange. He is aware that I am of a higher social status than he is, how other men always double take me out in public which he had also witnessed. I think his insecurity took the best of his judgement when he decided to pursue the other chick. He stated that because he was moving to Florida for work in 6 months (we are in the Northeast) (a decision that I helped him make, btw) that he didn't see a future for us. (raised my eyebrows - so the chick is already in Florida? and how exactly does it differ from what we had, given we are now still closer in distance for the next 6 months than he and the chick are?! But I didn't care enough to ask.) To me, this whole thing smells like B.S., which is why it is unacceptable to me.  This would have been the 3rd time that he run away from me, he came back every time. Thing is I am exhausted and do not want this to continue. I already let go given the ultimate offense. I was never going to take him back given what he did to me.

Now that I let go of my TF, B came into my life almost immediately it seemed. He has all the qualities I have been looking for in a partner. I am not confused, still keeping B at armslength. But I need to ensure my TF will never come back (it is ironic - I know) before I advance further with B or other relationships. Advice?


updated by @ladygirl86: 02/04/18 07:40:27PM
ladygirl86
@ladygirl86
10 months ago
16 posts
@violet. None taken. I put myself in this position seeking help and guidance. Please feel free to inbox me.

I am willing to have a conversation with him when he next reaches out, which he has not. He only sent breadcrumbs messages like :" you deserve a nice trip."
ladygirl86
@ladygirl86
10 months ago
16 posts
violet:
I don't think I can inbox u on here unless were friends.. aww he sounds sweet if he wants to take you out unless he's dodgey and you feel like he's using you? Is it too much if you just reach out to him urself?
He dumped me after 3 mons going out for another chick. He didn't mention taking me out. I am confused about him but the c9nnecti9n is there. It's hurting me.
ladygirl86
@ladygirl86
10 months ago
16 posts
It is so much drama and I hate it. He runs away and comes back just to.repeat. I'm so frustrated and scared he will ruin my future.
ladygirl86
@ladygirl86
9 months ago
16 posts

I had been feeling a stronger pull from him lately.

I had not responded to his last message. I decided to do it yesterday. I had to tell him because I know he has anxiety issues. So it read: "X, I know you have been experiencing guilt. Even though I can understand how and why, I cannot help you on this self-discovering journey. Despite our rare spiritual connection, I chose to honor your decision and put this behind me. In the physical world, nothing is more unattractive to me than someone who is unsure about wanting to be with me. Regardless of what the future may hold, I wish you peace and happiness always. L"

He responded the this morning :"I understand. Thank you. I wish the same for you, L, with my love." <---- Am I reading too much into this? WTF is this???

I got frustrated a tad bit because what I really wanted to tell him was, this needed to end. I cannot live my life like this. Life with him hanging on like this sounds torturous to me. And I do not want a man like this in my life. I cannot stand his hot and cold. Running away only to run back every 10 days...

I texted him back: "I meant what I said. I know I sound completely crazy. But if we can't be together, we need to put this behind us."

No response.

As if he was afraid to say anything, I offered :" I have some time tonight around 7 pm to talk." (he had been calling me begging to talk, last time was Jan 26)

Of course I knew he wouldn't call. I actually didnt wait around. I only offerred so that he can choose whether to contact me to put an end to this.

No words since...


updated by @ladygirl86: 02/19/18 06:57:59PM
ladygirl86
@ladygirl86
9 months ago
16 posts

I tried to cut him out after he had broken up with me to start pursuing someone (I doubt it that it didn't start prior to the dump act)








1. Look at the time stamps (i ignored him because I already knew of this 20 days prior to)

Inline image 2

 

2.  (he continued the monologue and justified his asshole move). Mind you, he had pulled away twice prior to this time, on his own and I let him go at his free will both times, never asked him back. He came back both times to see ... how things go.
Inline image 3


 

3. But he didn't turn his phone off, and 10 minutes later...
Inline image 5


 

4. My 3d sass kicked in. Ball now in my court. This was how I turned it around to break up with him. This was the end of the dialogue from my end.
Inline image 7


 

5.  Monologue begins...
Inline image 8


6. Followed by 2 calls on two different days...

Inline image 9


7. Then 9 days later... He texted me while I was overseas to see when I was gonna be home ( I let him wait 1 week, I was genuinely busy. The times were all messed up because I was overseas with limited reception, fixed for following ease) He answered almost immediately to every text.

Inline image 11


8. I decided to answer after another 2 days because I wanted to tell him its over. But i could probly sense it so he texted a lackluster message
Inline image 12


9. I have been feeling the pull as I told you, so I texted him today to nip that in the butt. Hopefully he understands my position now. Absolutely no more wiggle room in my heart. I finally feel closure.......I am so happy

Inline image 13

 

10. I did not want a response. But one came anyway....... And what? "with my love"? It is like he does not want a closure to whatever it is we are going through. I decided to seek peace of mind by offering him a chance to talk (he had been asking for one). Am I reading too much into it with that phrase?

Inline image 1

And I knew he wouldnt call - he has not changed a bit. I wasn't waiting around for his call anyway. But I thought I would offer him a chance to pour his heart out as he had wished. As for me, I only offered because of that phrase "with my love". He had never used that word with me. Am I thinking too much?


updated by @ladygirl86: 02/20/18 09:41:02PM

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