I've been told some thangs about me that was very hard to believe at first cuz how do you wake up one day and boom, that's your life? But after some years of ignorance, I'm beginning to believe what once was told to me. Maybe there's some truth in it. I'm still unsure.
Where do I begin? On sites like this, you tend to cross paths with people who read you and go into deep history on who you are or were now or in a past life. One of the things that was almost immediately mentioned to me was that I was a guardian angel who has saved lots of people from harm and another thing that was mentioned was I may be a human or fallen angel like the one who was telling me this is who I might be. The human angel stuff I didn't accept cuz it's too vast for my human brain to comprehend. But the guardian angel thing is something that piqued my interest because when I looked back at my life, a lot of what I have done does seem very protective not in a human way. And people who I've been around, one whose life was remarkably reckless but somehow still managed to survive after all these years, it seems like there was a protective spirit around her. Namely me.
Almost two years ago, I began having dreams. Just two, that showed me standing watch over someone. Both dreams I mentioned here on EC. The first dream was revealing because it showed me standing in this person's bedroom watching her read a book, a room I had never been in. So because of my dream, I was able to remember what the room looked like. When this person was not in her room, I took my chance to sneak in and see if it was the room from my dream and it was. So what was that? A vision of some sort? Or was it showing me something else that I may not realize about myself? I believe it was the beginning to discovering the guardian part of me which takes over while I am asleep. I astral while sleeping often and I wake up with no memory of anything. Mind you, that was something this person had told me almost immediately when he was reading me, was that I save people from harm and I never remember it until something triggers that memory.
The second dream I had I mistakenly thought was a vision. I was nervous because I thought I had witnessed a motorcycle accident on some freeway in Oregon and I had no idea if it had already happened or if it was going to happen. But one thing I wasn't paying attention to was the fact that 1) I was standing watch over the guy on the motorcycle and 2) the guy wasn't hurt. He was standing up with his helmet on, but his bike was crashed. This, like the first dream showed me standing watch over someone and I had deduced that maybe these weren't dreams, but memories. My memories being triggered that show me watching over my charges. Some whom I know in my personal life and others who I don't know. That was the last dream I had like that and it's been almost 2 years since the dream.
The person in the first dream was my former landlady. Who, at that point in my life, was someone I considered very negative who I did not wish to be around. The night before she flew back into Oregon from vacation, I had unusually been preoccupied with where she was and why she was not home at the time she informed me she was going to be home. I was worried but not in a normal way. I felt no compassion for this woman, she meant nothing to me because I had developed so much angst for her at that point in my life. But the worry was taking over my focus and I began what seemed like a vigil for her, standing watch to see what time she would come home. It was very odd and I had never had a vigil for someone like that since my alcoholic mother who often would leave the house drunk and not come back for hours.
Then there's my job at MECCA. I am basically a cashier at a nonprofit in Eugene and the comments I get from people throw me off guard because it's so incredibly profound and the comments are more than I should be getting for the job that I do. The people I work with all love me and speak so highly of me, you would think I was someone incredibly important like the Pope, or Jesus, Moses, the President. I'm being serious. From my perspective. I'm just doing a job. Not doing it better than someone else is, I'm just providing service with a smile. Some days I feel like crap and I still get amazing compliments. Just last week, a regular customer mentions to me that she believes it's me who is the force behind the amazing change the store has been through. And I immediately took no credit and said it's all of us volunteers who make the effort to change the store for the better, but she was intently focused on me and could not stop praising me. I smiled, said thank you and moved on.
I make friends everywhere I go, but never have I made the relationships I have made at MECCA. It's much different than anything I have ever seen before. I have followers, people who think highly of me and praise me. It's so much more than friendship and me being me, I wanna know why that is. Something inside me tells me it has nothing to do with me being an empath, but something more they are sensing about me. Quite a few people who I met at MECCA have mentioned that I feel like peace to them and I bring calm to a chaotic environment. One of the newest volunteers who is sickly and wants to get back into physical activity has praised me for being so kind and understanding of his health and said he wanted to take me home with him in a joking sorta way. Day to day, the one time comments, and compliments, and relationships I have with people tell me it is due to a spirit I have inside that they appreciate to be around. It's a protective spirit that goes back to what my soul brother, the one who told me who I was, said that I had inside.
For a long time now, I've been confused, not knowing what I am and if it goes deeper than what I think I know about myself. It's been a long journey and even without help, I seem to be discovering more about who I am and what I am becoming. Day to day, I look up at the sky and say I don't know what I am, who I am or if I am even human, but whatever I am, please let my journey be an easy one. I am also a prophet. Destined to do a job that is "by far bigger than I know". Those were the words told to me by Archangel Gabriel. For 3 years, I've simply thought that my seeing abilities would bloom one day outta nowhere and my destiny would begin, but then my spirituality needed rejuvenation. I needed to get back in touch with my religion to grow closer to God, something I felt I was lacking.
After 3 years, I had returned to synogogue to refresh who I am as a Jew and learn more about myself, learn the Torah and become closer to God in ways I never had before.You'd be surprised how every thing you do in life has a connection to your destiny and what is to come later in life. 3 years ago, I had a vision of God telling me to "Go to thy holy temple and bare thy soul to me." Since that day, I had to struggle with putting my personal feelings about temple aside and go to temple and bare my soul to Him. That day has since come and gone, I returned to temple, bared my soul, but I didn't feel as good as I thought I would. So what's missing? What was that vision about? My soul brother thinks I had a vision of a past life of mine where God told me in another life to go to His holy temple and bare my soul to him. My brother thinks I might be one of Moses' sons Eliazer, which might explain why I have such a passion for the 1950s The Ten Commandments movie which I watch traditionally every Easter. But I think it was God telling me to renew my faith in Him by returning to his holy temple. Whatever that flash was about, it has erupted a new passion within me and that is to go to temple every Saturday and become the Jew that I am meant to be.
When I think of a prophet, I think two things: crazy street babblers and Moses. One thing about numerous biblical prophets is that they were craaazy religious Jews. They knew Torah inside and out and they were all considered Rabbis by their followers, even Jesus which threw me for a loop. Then it hit me. I had an OH SNAP moment that opened up my eyes forever. What if in order for me to become a prophet like I am destined to, my spiritual and religious path needs to awaken to the point where I know Torah inside and out and one day become a Rabbi? Is that what my future is to be? Am I meant to be like Moses and Abraham and all those numerous Jewish biblical prophets of the past? The realization that this could be true is shocking and unnerving. Just a whole bunch of emotions surging at once. I can never see myself as something so profound and important to the world and to my people, the Jews. It's just a path that I am on which I don't know where I will end up. I should mention that at least 3 different times during service, when I was listening to a sermon about prophets of the past or when I was actually holding the Torah, I had a sensation I had had before just above my eyebrows in the middle of my forehead that felt like something was awakening. Just a weird sensation. I had always believed that sensation was my third eye opening up and it only happened on rare occasions. Now, I go back to temple and suddenly it's happening every other weekend? That's no coincidence.
Lastly, I'm about to move for the third and hopefully final time. Last time I was fully active on EC, I had posted about my telling my roommate of what I am which had been weighing heavily on me for so long. Our relationship ended up just like my previous relationship with my former landlady ended up. They got so used to my source of steady income that was feeding their bank accounts that that was all they saw and any respect or courtesy to me was grossly ignored like I didn't exist. So I get to wondering. Is this treatment of me due to me being an empath or is it due to me being something I dunno I am that make them feel so secure and safe around me that they want to exploit me for everything I'm worth? 3 is my lucky number. It follows me everywhere and has been with me all my life and I had no clue. I just hope that this third move will be something much more permanent and I make a friend who actually cares about me and doesn't see me as an ATM. All I can ask myself is what am I why this is the second time I've been so boldly mistreated for months? If I was a human angel or SOMETHING unnatural, is this why the people I live with have always mistreated me? I just have so much in my head, I dunno what's what anymore.
Thanks for reading. This is my supernatural autobiography which I've wanted to share here for a long time. Just didn't know how to approach it. Some things are true, other things are theories, the rest as they say, is history.
updated by @the-importance-of-being-jonny: 07/07/17 09:47:43PM