Death Force?

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Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

I've been wondering about the possibility of something that I will call a "death force." I don't know if there is such a thing and thought I'd ask if anyone has any thoughts on the subject. I'm specifically wondering the possible effects of living with or spending lots of time around people and/or animals who are sick and dying might have on people, especially sensitives. What started me thinking about this was something I read in a Taoist Canon (Orthodox Taoist Canon 0018):

"In a meat eater's body, the three palaces are turbid, and the six viscera are defiled, the dark souls (PUG) of the dead bodies (that he ate) are exciting and thriving, and are always willing to guide him to the place of death."

Also, there is an old belief back home that if a person is dying, the plants around the property or in the house will die or get sick, and nothing the person tried to grow will thrive. I've seen this seem to happen.

Any thoughts?


updated by @ecila: 07/08/17 10:48:53AM
Fly~Robin~Fly
@flyrobinfly
2 years ago
731 posts

Wow great topic for discussion!!!

I once wondered if people with certain diseases passed it on to someone else before they left (like a transference of energy - as if they couldn't take the disease with them)because I saw many examples of the same disease striking people who knew the person who had died.

The plants idea is really interesting. Does it mean that the plant can feel the energy of the dying person?

Also, haven't studies shown thatlarge eaters of red meatget more bowel cancer?

Do health care workers have higher rates of sickness than other workers?

Fly~Robin~Fly
@flyrobinfly
2 years ago
731 posts

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_O'Brien_(surgeon)

This Doctor was on television. He operated on people with brain tumours. Then he developed a brain tumour.

Pat-Starbridge
@pat-starbridge
2 years ago
437 posts

An interesting topic. I can only speak from my own experience. I lost all my family except for my mom by the time I was 12. A number of the family had cancer and my mom was the caregiver. There was an odd, oppressive energy in the house.

Eventually, I became my mom's caregiver up until her death, a couple of years ago. I had returned to care for her and it seemed that the house and yard were disintegrating. Of course she had not been able to keep up the home but literally, it was as if things were past repair. For example, I could not plant anything in the yard, new plants died, it was as if the soil was barren. And yet, we still had old trees and bushes existing but not in good health. They seemed hardened, almost petrified.

As to the "death force", I call it being in death's shadow. As I wrote, I can only state what I have experienced as a caregiver. I found that after some time, I noticed that I had a gray cast to my appearance. I've noticed something similar in other caregivers. It's a continual wearing down. But I don't see it as if something one catches like a cold but because there is a cord or attachment to the dying person, the caregiver is also effected. Of course, I'm sure this is completely different for those who are professional caregivers or those taking care of charges that are not dying. I would add, that as we have attachments to material items, that as a person moves into the dying process, that they remove their energy from those items - home, etc so that does have an impact.

It's an odd journey, you walk every step with the person who is dying but you, yourself, are not. And even after the death, that "shadow" seems to remain for awhile. People will say "oh you should rejoin life, or get back into the swing of things" but if you have been in that shadow for several years, it takes time to come out from it. It's like you come right to the door of death and then you have to turn around and go back. It was, for me, a spiritual journey that forever changed me.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

Good questions, Robin. I will try to do some research on them and maybe they will shed a little light here. I do recall something about a chemical that is produced when meat is cooked that can cause cancer, but I also wonder if there is more to it.

Last year when my aunt was in ICU near death, I noticed that all the nurses were very young. It made me think that it takes people full of life and very strong to hold up in that environment.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

I don't believe it could be described better, Pat. Thanks for that and sorry for all your losses. I hadn't thought of energy being removed from material items. . . If a person is desperately clinging to life, I wonder if there is some draining effect on others life forms around. It could be like an energy vampire in overdrive, or the energy drain we feel from regular people, only amplified.

It certainly is a continual wearing down. I was close to a lady who took care of her dying husband and ended up dying before him, although she began the ordeal as a healthy person. If you are a relative or attached to the person, I guess lots of energetic cord cutting might help. (You guys probably know I'm living with my elderly dad and an old dog). Staying strong gets to be harder and harder. . . Last year my dad couldn't get a think to grow in his garden, but all my herbs grew nicely. Also, my mother mentioned that many of the plants around my step dad's house died before he did. My step-dad wasn't even noticeably ill and passed quickly with a heart attack.

I will see what other info I can find in this area.

Maria
@maria
2 years ago
136 posts

Death is part of life as much as life is part of life. We are souls in bodies not bodies with souls and when we shuffle off this mortal coil ( as one great writer put it) our remaining flesh suit is meant to fertilize, not kill the soil. Death is not a disease. I think that there are 2 very important experiences that we are absent of in our "advanced" society. Those experiences are being present for the birthing of a baby or the passing of a soul. Both are wondrous and joyful moments with some pain and grief but they speak to the soul and convey a knowledge of the love and joy and awareness like nothing else.

National Geographic did a documentary called "Year of the Wildebeest" (1975) I recommend that anyone who hasn't seen it put it on their list. Watch it and you will see the spiritual power of the cycle of life, beautiful!

Pat-Starbridge
@pat-starbridge
2 years ago
437 posts

I can answer that with - YES. It can be massively draining; partially due to the energy cord but it also depends on the issues the dying person is going through. My mom was very fearful of death so it made that transitioning period more draining. Sometimes, I felt like I was being drawn into the grave, myself. I had a lovely friend who was up in years and died two years after my mom. She had lots of health issues and her family took care of her. However, she felt ready to go, in the sense that she had reviewed her life. She had regrets but had come to terms with it, so her transition was more graceful.

There are so many emotions that caregivers go through, not only do we face the inevitable loss of a loved one but we are their support as they face that fear. In the end, what I thought was my burden became my gift. There are many things that happened that are too personal to post here but let's say that in the times of great sadness and despair, there were moments of incredible grace and love.

I wanted to mention about the plants. While I was growing up, there were no issues with the yard or house but I think it was because there was enough energy from other family members to counteract the person who was dying. In my mom's case, both of us knew that I would not stay in the home so both of us were removing our energy from the house. There was also "something" on the property that had nothing to do with my mom's death. It wasn't felt in the house but was in the yard and caused many problems, so I think that was a contributing factor to the plant issue

I know how hard it is to go through this. Please, always feel free to write to me if you need to.

Maria
@maria
2 years ago
136 posts

Maybe the similarities in death issues are more like karmic ties needing to worked out instead of transference?

I had my first experienced with death as a 10 yr. old. My great Aunt Hattie, died next to me while telling me a family story. They called the Priest to do the last rite. I watched out of view and could see the cords that attach the soul to the physical body stretching longer and longer as the spirit and soul rose from her remains. As a 19 year old, I had to bury my Father, I identified his body from a house fire in our home that burnt over 90% of his body because my Mother couldnt do it. It was a painful way to leave the earth plane but he was at peace.

I have also had the experience of near death but it's all been positive in a great way, one way or another.

Maria
@maria
2 years ago
136 posts

Hey Ecila,

If there is anything that can be done to help, like sending energy, just say the word. I hope all things bad clear up for you and the Light comes shinning through!

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

You could be dead on about the karmic ties but I don't know how to remedy that. Maybe we just need more time together.

So sorry for those traumatic experiences you had as a child.

Thanks so much for offering to send energy! I might take you up on that:)

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

That is interesting. My dad took care of stepmom while she had lung cancer for 3 years. Now - just on Friday - they found spots on his lungs. He goes Wed for a CT scan to get a better look.

Maria
@maria
2 years ago
136 posts

The best I have is on the way!

Could it be that what you need is some relief from your roll as a caregivers? Caregivers, especially when it's family do a very, very difficult job. A job that drains you body, heart, soul and spirit. Family caregivers often suffer from burnout, depression and lower immunity. It is so important to take care of yourself, put yourself first, sometime and make sure that YOU stay healthy and do what's healthy for you!

Both my family members mentioned had long illnesses before their passing. My Dad's death was more painful than traumatic and the Universal Divine got me through it. I know it feels like what you're dealing with will be forever. Know that we are here to love and support you!

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

Thanks so much Maria and Pat.

One of my fears is the fact that there is no one but me...not even a friend around. Hopefully things won't get that bad.

Nocturne's Angel
@nocturnes-angel
2 years ago
867 posts

In my experience it can have an affect of the living.

I always practice & use Confronting the Clear Light & also the Obligatory Reader's Invocation :

"Obligatory Reader's Invocation"
To the divine silence of unreachable endlessness;
To the divine silence of perfected knowledge;
To the divine silence of the soundless voice;
To the divine silence of the Heart of the Labyrinth;
To the divine silence of the ancient mind;
To the divine silence of the unborn guide;
To the divine silence of the unseen guide,
protector of all sentient life;
To the divine silence of those of perfected knowledge;
To the divine silence of human primate incarnation;
To the divine silence of the labyrinth guides
who sacrifice their liberation for those
who have not yet awakened to the truth;
To the divine silence of the Lord of Death,
the eternal unborn resident of the labyrinth
who has sacrificed his own redemption
for the redemption of all voyagers everywhere;
To the divine silence of the primordial being;
To the divine silence of the great sacrifice;
We offer homage, love and hope;
But above all, we give our gratitude.

"Confronting the Clear Light"

Now I am experiencing the Clear Light of objective reality. Nothing is happening, nothing ever has happened or ever will happen. My present sense of self, the voyager, is in reality the void itself, having no qualities or characteristics. I remember myself as the voyager, whose deepest nature is the Clear Light itself; I am one; there is no other. I am the voidness of the void, the eternal unborn, the uncreated, neither real nor unreal. All that I have been conscious of is my own play of consciousness, a dance of light, the swirling patterns of light in infinite extension, endless endlessness, the Absolute beyond change, existence, reality. I, the voyager, am inseparable from the Clear Light; I cannot be born, die, exist, or change. I know now that this is my true nature.

To me, this allows them to be less afraid of their issues & also allows for healing.

Maria
@maria
2 years ago
136 posts

Can't be there physically but we are all there for you in spirit and don't forget it! : )

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

That is really beautiful. Thanks very much. I can't read anything like that to him, though. He is hardcore atheist, thinks Christians are delusional and Buddhist are even worse since they don't even work and believe in reincarnation, which he really thinks is stupid. He thinks when you die, you just cease to exist. I do think he is quiet afraid of dying but won't admit it. I have thought that one of my reasons for being here is to somehow soften his heart and I have tried. I thought I might at least convince him that his consciousness continues on in some form, since energy cannot be created or destroyed, but no luck. He's a pretty tough case but I'll keep trying.

He really can't comprehend anything that is not material. He is aspergers and an engineer...if he can't measure it, it doesn't exist for him.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

That means more than you know. You guys are wonderful:)

Pat-Starbridge
@pat-starbridge
2 years ago
437 posts

In my mom's case, she believed in God but she felt responsible for the death of her younger sister. It happened when they were both children. It was no one's fault but my mom felt it was her's and no amount of talking could change anything. Occasionally, she would ask a spiritual question but I could see that she would soon shut down. She was caught, she didn't want to stay but was terrified to go.

I knew that the only one who judged her was herself. I felt guilty that I couldn't have done more for her, to ease that emotional pain. I was the only one left but there were members of our family waiting on the otherside to help with the transition. And they did.

Afterwards, I was talking with a friend about how much I wished that my mom hadn't had such a challenging exit. She reminded me that wish was what I wanted, but my mom had her own wishes.

Cherish everyday that you have and know that your Dad is loved on this side and the other. Speaking for myself, there were days when I achieved a personal best and other days that I couldn't do anything right. And yet, it's all okay. No one gave us the handbook for how to do this, we just do the best we can.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts
I am grateful for this time even though it has been rough. This is the only real time I've ever had with him. . . so funny how things work out sometimes. When I first got here, I dreamed of seeing my grandmother here to get him (he was in bad shape at the time and I think close to death. his wife really had a bad passing and put him through 3 years of pure hell) I told grandmother that she couldn't have him yet...so i know she is waiting for him, although she didn't look very happy and was all dressed in black.Like your mom, I know he has his own path. I'll just do what I can for him.
Phyllis
@phyllis
2 years ago
37 posts

I too am taking care of my mother. She is now bedridden with dementia. It is a tough struggle. I love that I am able to care for her and give her the best care she can get. It feels like I'm on my "path". I find that being home most of the time and unable to get out is the most difficult.

I don't see plants having trouble around me, but I am taking care of them. They are actually something I really enjoy. I wonder if I am getting energy just from the simple task of caring for them and seeing them grow.

I also have a son who requires 24 hours supervision, but I don't find him draining at all. He seems to be the one that takes away my stress, just by looking at him or kissing him. It is quite amazing.

Both my children are spiritual in their own way and I find the energy in our home to be very good. It wasn't always that way, but we have worked together to clean it up.

I think the reason some people develop the diseases for which they were caring has to do with the mental state. The power of the mind is probably the strongest factor. When one is caring day in and day out for a particular illness, they are getting tired and worn down, but also thinking about the illness all the time.

I can't help but wonder if just breaking away for short periods and clearing the mind and re-energizing may be all it would take to keep the illness at bay? I try to meditate every night before going to bed, when I have some peace and quiet. I have been able to keep up a positive attitude and be relatively happy in general.

I find the hardest part is when friends don't understand that you can't make the party or get-together. They understand but are noticeably disappointed. I find that (as an empath) more difficult to protect against than the situation at hand.

I had a near death experience as a teenager and the thought of dying is not decay at all, in my experience it is a transition to an envelope of love and compassion. Leaving our body is not draining at all. It is just like a dream filled with wonder. The hard part is being alive and keeping our body strong and healthy.

Best wishes

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

Snake,

You have always struck me as a very strong person. Maybe you get some of that from your mom. I don't doubt that your energy helped her recover. Glad you have the nurse to help a little and I hope the Fortune book helps. I read that after coming here, too, and have tried various shielding techniques. Right now I'm experimenting with Dzochgen meditation which is a 180 from shielding, using acceptance and spaciousness. I'm really new at it but it seems to be helpful to me at this point. Fighting off his dark energy got to feel like a losing battle, and I have felt so confined. Spaciousness seems perfect for the time being...but adaptability is the keyword here for me. He also isn't as dark as he was for the first 2.5 years. Things have sloooowly improved.

I hope you can get away some and get some rest! I was thinking of taking my dog and going to a hotel down the road for a few days...order pizza and just be alone. Not being alone...ever...really gets to me.

Pat-Starbridge
@pat-starbridge
2 years ago
437 posts

Don't mean to intrude but if you would like to post something about Dzochgen meditation and also on Dion Fortune's psychic self defense - I would certainly be interested. I don't think I've heard of Dzochgen and I keep running across Dion Fortune but, again, don't know very much.

We always could use some discussions on these subjects. I know both of you have plenty to do and this may not be the time. But if you ever have some time and wish to share, I think they would be interesting topics

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

Sorry about your mom, Phylis, but I'm glad you are having a positive experience with the whole thing. It would help me to keep thinking of this as part of my "path" so thanks for mentioning that. I know it is and know there have been so many countless lessons I've learned here. One thing very different for me is that I never really knew my dad since my mom left him when I was 5 and I only briefly visited him on holidays after that. Finding out what he is like has been monumental in my little world. He is very quiet...rarely talks...very melancholy and always looks sad, which stresses me to no end. He is a very unusual person but a good man...just not easy to live with in many ways. He disagreed with most everything I say, so we don't talk much at all. He reads book after book...However, my mother would be impossible, so I really shouldn't complain. I moved with him to the middle of nowhere - so we know no one here and disappointing friends is not a problem.

The first year I did go back to my house every so often. If I hadn't had that I would have really melted down. It's up for sale now and I have the electric off. Plus dog and I would mess it up...so I just stay here. Getting away would help.

I really didn't mean to get on my soapbox and maybe "death force" is a bit overdramatic. ...idk. Maybe it was just all his negative energy that drained me so much at first and still somewhat.

About the plants, I don't have a problem with my plants, but he has with his. I can't find much on the subject online but did run across this, which is pretty relevant and, I thought, interesting:

"For those of us who are clearly sensitive to and Aware of the Life Force in outselves and everything around us, for example, there's a difference between a fresh vibrant salad and an apple that's been left on the counter to rot. The fresh vegetables are still "alive," and they possess a certain amount of Life Force still. A rotten apple still possesses a certain Energy, but it's no longer a "Life" Force. It's more of a...miasma. There were some Necromancers a while back who called it Death Essence, but it's basically just Life Force expressed in a different way. Where there is Light, there is Shadow; where there is Life, there is Death."

And this, about draining lifeforce from one of the magic forums:

"When you learn how to work with this force, sit down with a potted plant and try to pull out all of the Life Force in it. If you have sufficiently trained and acquired the skill of actually controlling your energy, you will watch the plant whither right before your eyes. If you truly "drain" it, after a few hours, maybe a day, you will come back and see it completely dead. There is no sophisticated trick to this, it's a ridiculously easy manipulation of energy. It must be noted that all actions have consequences, however, and literally sucking the life out of something does not feel good. It is far more rewarding to give energy to your plants and to others, if only for the amusement of seeing everyone's reaction to your plants blooming while everyone else's died for the season."

I do think that the plants can experience a decay sometimes around the dying. Of course, not always, but I do think it happens sometimes. I'm surprised there isn't more to be found about this online.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

Pat, Here is a pdf for Fortune's book. Definitely worth a read: http://www.oneroadmanypaths.org/psychicSelfDefense.pdf

The book I'm reading now that introduced me to Dzogchen is this one: http://www.amazon.com/Healing-With-Form-Energy-Light/dp/1559391766

It is from the Tibetan Buddhist school, and combines the Bon religion (shamanistic) as well as tantra. I'm really liking this and would like to get some more of this author's books. I'm still just learning the foundations of Dzogchen but would love to discuss it when I know more.

Pat-Starbridge
@pat-starbridge
2 years ago
437 posts

Ecila, I don't think this is being on a "soapbox". I'm glad you brought this topic up because what you have are a number of caregivers sharing their experiences. I would have given anything to have this type of discussion when I was still caring for my mom. Caregiving is often a very lonely calling. I had no one who was experiencing this. The only people were the caregivers I met in the hospital or doctor's office but never this kind of conversation.

In this country, we put so much attention on youth - we are a youth driven culture. We prefer not to think about getting old and, lord knows, people don't like to think about "dying". Everything I learned was from my mom when she was a caregiver and from the Hospice website. In the last days, my mom had been in the hospital and then transferred to a convalescent. I could tell from where they put here that she was on "death watch" which they now call "comfort care". Even in those last few hours, no one would say that she was dying.

The sort of discussion that you have started is much needed.

Pat-Starbridge
@pat-starbridge
2 years ago
437 posts

Thanks, I'll take a look.

Paul
@paul
2 years ago
916 posts

When caring for my dying mom on the weekends. She was a pillar of strength for me. In fact we both exchanged energy frequently. I never heard her say a negative thing other that how much longer. In the end I suffered more than her I think and was relieved of the burden by my grandmother. It felt like tons were taken off me. I learned a lot from her in those few months ans are grateful for the lesson.

Phyllis
@phyllis
2 years ago
37 posts

I make sure my mom has plants in her room, but she can not care for them. I know they give her a brighter feeling in the room, but I don't see them decaying at all. Mind you, she is hanging in there, healthy in heart but not in mind.

I do find it very stressful at times and it helps to know that others understand. I don't want anyone to have to go through this but if we do, I think it's part of our life lessons, or perhaps what we have to do this help the person we are caring for, in their quest. I often think about this.

I do wonder how much "spiritual energy" and activity is caused by the situation though. There is nothing that I feel is negative, but there is definitely activity in our home.

I'm also glad this topic has opened up for the support of our group members that would otherwise have no where to share.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

I visit an occult forum sometimes and there are people there who do lots of nasty stuff that really makes me wonder about the dark mental states of people in the world. They creep me out...but there are some very knowledgeable folks on there, too. No, I would never try that!

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

There is a huge difference here in attitude compared to people in my regular life. Most everyone has told me that I shouldn't give up my life, house, job, etc, to come and be where he wants to be and do that he wants to do. Many have made me feel like this was a foolish sacrifice, but I knew this was how it had to be. They even told me to put him in a home, look for him another woman (he's 84!), make him move into my house, etc....It is to all your credit that you have such compassion. I should have known there would be many caregivers on here...this has helped me very much....thanks!

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

Yeah, what you said above sounds about right here, too. From what I've read, we need to pull energy directly from the universe (into us and then to the ill person or directly toward the ill person) instead of using up what we have. I should be doing that everyday, since I am here all the time, but I don't. I do try to recharge most everyday in one way or other. If you know any good reading about that, I'd be interested. Bardon talks about it in IIH, and say to draw in 10 deep breaths of universal, vital energy before going near the bed of a sick person. There is a book by Israel Regardie called the True Method of Healing that was good. Both of those are online in PDF. I need to be more disciplined about this!

The Dzogchen seems to help right now but everyday is different. It takes combo attacks:)

Phyllis
@phyllis
2 years ago
37 posts

I think for the most part we are all very fortunate to have found like-minded people here in this group. Even among my friends and family I have been told a number of times that I have the option to put mom in a nursing home. I just can't do that.

It's funny some of my friends have parents getting to this stage and they say they are lining up for me to care for them. Of course that won't happen, but I will be taking care of my MIL when the time comes. I see this all as a choice but one that is a natural progression. I am able to do it and I see it as an honour. Mom cared for me, so why wouldn't I in turn care for her?

So few of the people I know would do it, but they all respect my choice even though they don't really get it. I think many of us are "old souls" with things to learn, but not as much to learn as some of the "younger souls". We are teaching others by our choices as well.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

Paul, that sounds like it would have been really hard on you. Sometimes feeling other's pain is a super bitter pill.

Paul
@paul
2 years ago
916 posts

Yes and all I wanted was to take it away from her and I think I did to a certain extent. I know where she is and we have met since while doing Reiki.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

Plants in her room is a wonderful idea. I think they add extra energy, clean the air, and give a good feeling overall. My dad isn't bedridden and gets around really well, although he shouldn't be driving. His main problem is his mind, too, and he can't hear. I can tell when his mind is "off" by a change in his voice and the look on his face. One day I found a pot with rotting beans in the cabinet, for example, and numerous times we've almost had fires from his cooking and the woodstove. He also like to eat really old food and has made himself sick several times. I have to monitor the fridge.

Anytime you and Snake or others in this situation want to talk, feel free to email me. I sure gets stressful. I never want to put my son through this if I can help it. I forgot to mention that he is OCPD (not OCD). That is probably the biggest problem with him. Combine that with Aspergers and you have a very unusual stew.

There was a lot of activity here at first, I think it came from the 3 years he spent with his wife while she was dying and brought it with him. He even looked different in the beginning. I stay on top of house clearings. It is possible you have friendly spirits or energies around, more likely in your case, it seems.

It is so sad to watch him go downhill.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

I think you're completely right about that. Those people missing the point and are more likely to hurt themselves before they get too far.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

Glad you are getting some positive feedback from people. Anything done out of love has to be followed by something good:) It seems that most people would not do this from what I've been hearing around me.

I don't feel good for doing this since some of my motives were selfish. Mostly, I wanted to get to know him but I also didn't want to keep working full time, honestly. Still, I don't know what he would have done if I hadn't.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

Pat, It sounds like you really went through some suffering with your mom. The elderly aren't appreciated at all as they should be and death is far too taboo in this culture. From what I've heard, the attitude in Asian countries about death is completely different. I guess one of the main reasons is the belief in reincarnation. I actually started writing my funeral service the other day. I don't want my son to have to do it, and I hope I can go gracefully.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

My replies all went where I didn't think they would go so I hope you all can figure out who I'm talking to:)

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

1001_discussions.jpg?width=500

Paul
@paul
2 years ago
916 posts
Death is just a transition of energy and as energy moves there may be a vacuum left behind. Death force? Nahhh it is all Life force being moved. I've performed Reiki on a recently deceased person and instinctively used the Master symbol but pointing up. I then asked my master and she said that was the correct way to use it.
Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

I didn't know Reiki was done on a dead person...interesting. Why would you do that?

You might be right about no death force, but if lifeforce is being moved toward death, wouldn't that in itself be like a death force?

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

I know what you mean. I'm older than you and still can't stand "that face." I wait until he is out or asleep, since he rarely goes out. I do my room more often for my own peace of mind and health...and so I can sleep without creepy dreams. My focus has turned from helping him to saving myself, since this has taken so much out of me (several ER visits and one overnight hospital stay during the last 3 years). I feel he is stronger than me at this point.

Fly~Robin~Fly
@flyrobinfly
2 years ago
731 posts

Two questions Ecila:

Does your dad ever hallucinate at night where he sees dead people? My MIL did before she passed.

Isit possible for you to get a week or two of respite care?

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

Idk about what he dreams, Robin. It's hard to give you an idea of how it is around here, but he doesn't talk...hardly at all and never about feelings or dreams or anything like that. If he speaks, it's about something he is reading, some complaint, or something about him and what he has done in the past. Sometimes it's about people from his past that I don't know or care about. The other day he talked for a while about the origins of the universe. None of his "conversations" require any input from me, and if I try to talk he will eventually and begrudgingly put in his hearing aid, or I have to write it down. There is no give and take. Usually he will just stare at me if I say something or disagree. I have a better relationship with my dog.

I know this is just the aspergers and goodness knows I try to have patience. Aspergers feels a whole lot like narcissism on the receiving end.

I think I will go away for a few days to a hotel nearby or maybe to the outer banks. His wife died on Jan 30 (my birthday...lol) so I don't want to leave him until that is over. But, yea, I think I will after. I'm going nuts! I wish it could be for more than a few days.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

Thanks for mentioning that, Robin. I will focus on a mini-vacation and try to lighten up. . . Jedi mind trick #679!

Fly~Robin~Fly
@flyrobinfly
2 years ago
731 posts

Some of the things he is doing sounds a bit like the beginnng of dementia?

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

For sure. It's been going on at least 5 years because my stepmom told me about it before she died. He forgets a lot and gets really disoriented. One day he had written some long math equation out at the table. When I asked him what it was he said "My mind comes and goes. That must have been one of the times it was gone."

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