Giving up

I'm so terrible for even posting this, but I just can't sleep anymore. As I thought things were going great, a bomb hit me. That bomb made me realize or feel, that some people are just hopeless. No matter what I did or didn't do, it was all my fault. I believe you all can relate.

My energy has been wiped dry once again and I can't even remember what that holiday cake is called. I'm tired and burnt out. For a while it was held good by my boundaries and my boundaries once again got knocked down. As if a narc blind sided me a slap shot. How is it possible to be around so many negative people in my life and be so sneaky? If I don't help I hear that voice in my head saying "you should have"

If our gift is to help others, why don't they listen? I must generate a lot of "feel good" that it is all they need. Boundaries are violated all the time. I don't like how I feel right now.

I can relate to this so much, I also had to go through this phase from time to time.

Just recently, that "bomb" really hit me hard. You're suddenly slapped awake by the realization that, all along, all these people are hopeless, always fighting and bickering over useless stuff, full of nothing but negative thoughts. It suddenly becomes so obvious that everyone is hiding under their masks, even people that are close to us. At that point you start asking yourself, "Why even bother with them?" "Won't they change?" "What's the point in helping them?"

It's like a revelation that your life has been a lie, literally. Like all your efforts are a joke to them. The feeling of emptiness is so overwhelming that at one point I had a thought like "What will happen if I jump from this window?", a shocking thought which my normal self won't ever entertain.

I had to drag myself out of the house and force myself to put on a happy face to interact with others. I would be tempted to delete of all my SNS accounts and not answer any emails or calls. 

Up to now I still do not have any idea what triggers this phase, but focusing on the bright side of every person really helps for me. Distract yourself with happy thoughts and take this time to appreciate the little things that still makes life worth living. 

Surround yourself with things you love - for me it's cats, binge watching, and arts. Alone time could also work. Though it's such a pain, we really need to generate good vibes to counter all the negativity around us. What's funny though is that right after this phase, it feels like you are even more bubbly and playful, without a care in the world.

It's time to recharge, let yourself heal.

I got carried away with my reply, but all I want to say is: Stay strong, this too will pass. 

Hi...your not bad for posting your issue....I've wanted to give up PLENTY of times too....some people just can't be helped tho...and seriously...we can't fix everyone even though we want to....and there will ALWAYS be someone who blind sides us with something totally stupid and we have to deal with it in a constructive way or probably punch ppl in the face....lol...I've wanted to do that PLENTY of times too...lol...but I don't....I walk away...go home...and clear my energy of whatever I was hit with....and remember I'm NOT responsible for their actions...not one bit...you can only be responsible for yourself and how you deal with these kind of things...I always try to find something funny even if it's something crappy...if I get hit by a narcessist...i ALWAYS find them funny....and I find my own reactions funny too..just the way I tend to look at things...and it helps me stay calmer even though I'm not really...narcessist energy is just icky to me....i have to clear it though....it won't go away on its own...don't feel guilty for taking a step back....it's NOT running away or giving up....and when that voice tries to put you down and make you feel guilty for doing that then you tell it to BACK off!...THAT voices job is to make sure you're safe....NOT push you into doing something that will hurt you or cause you pain...unless you're ready and have the energy...you can only help people who WANT help...and most people don't know they NEED the help...we know because we know...nothing we can do about that either...So...take a step back...clear your energy and ground yourself...take care of you instead of worrying about them....you are just as important as they are....and you should KNOW that you are...😊
updated by @womanwhowalks: 11/29/17 02:10:42AM

Yes, i ve gave up a few times... and went to live alone...and then went to live im asia for 2 years...all those times i wanted so much to do it, but was also quitting people for a while so i could rest and find myself in that mess..
Its important we empath find our individuality, the physical and espiritual boundaries to no be intrusive or be invaded without wanting...even though most of the time is happens very naturally, but we got to be conscious with our empathy, and may take a while.
Meditation has made my life much better and singing mantras and visualization of energy to clean my body and house...or noticing some bad thought other people direct to me...i ll let it slide..
Some people will attack us only by their very instict that we are defenseless, we will not do anuthing back to them, this is a very basic malice instict of the human being learn, they will attack only to feel superior or whatever...clean your self and use your empathy to empower your self..being aware and using your energy inteliggently when necessary...observe!!

The dark road, I have been down too many times. I have wanted to give up many times, especially after day when my energy is completely drained.  The giving of my compassion is thanked with the feelings of negativity, of being worthless and used.  I recently decided it was time to stop going down this road.   My crime is caring, yes, guilty.  The punishment will be, none.  I will not accept all the negative feelings directed at me.  I will clear myself of the negative energy and I am done with that person.  No more second, third, 100th opportunity for them to dump on me.

My dog pays no bills, does not cleanup around the house, or make me dinner.  She wags her tail and I know she appreciates me. And that is enough.  I am not asking for anything from a person but a little appreciation.  If I can not feel that, I have to stay away from them. 

@tigerlily:

I go through some really bad times like what you are experiencing about 3 times a year. And it always sucks. And I always wonder how I let it get that bad. And usually a lot of it is out of my control due to a flood of people who wear me out. I'm usually pretty good at creating boundaries and grounding as needed. But there are times when I am running through life too fast and too much is thrown at me energy-wise and I get overwhelmed and start to implode. And that is also when all my psychic stuff goes haywire in a bad way. And I stop sleeping and it goes from bad to worse. It feels like total burnout.

I believe that you are experiencing some spiritual burnout as a result of overwhelming outside energy that you are picking up. My advice may be redundant for what you are already doing. But in the hopes that it will help you and others, here is how I handle the tough times. First off, getting good nightly sleep is paramount. Your physical and spiritual body is all out of whack due to lack of sleep. I think you likely have adrenal fatigue which is a common side effect of stress and lack of sleep. Try taking some over the counter sleep aids for a few nights to see if you can improve your sleep. Make sure your room is dark, quiet, and slightly cold to help.

Getting back to regular nightly amounts of sleep may be a little tricky at first since I suspect your adrenal fatigue has your cortisol levels spiking. Cortisol is supposed to sink toward the end of the day making you tired and then rise just enough at early morning so that your body wakes up. But stress causes it to spike erratically during the day and night. And that causes a racing mind, panic, and waking up at 3AM without the ability to fall back to sleep. The lack of sleep also means that your normal force field is down and you are more apt to not be able to handle being around people. I highly recommend getting on the below natural adaptogen supplement to help your adrenals to recover:

https://www.amazon.com/Gaia-Herbs-Adrenal-Support-Phyto-Caps/dp/B00F1J8EKI/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1512083195&sr=8-2&keywords=gaia+adaptogens

And if at first you can't sleep through the night then try to fit in an hour nap later in the day whenever you can. Think of it like banking your sleep and just try to make sure you get more hours of sleep each day until you are back at normal levels.

I also recommend salt baths with a cup or two of rock salt. Put on some soft music, candles, and relax and meditate if you can for 20-30 minutes. Even if you can't relax, the salt water by itself will help remove some of the negative that you are carrying. And lastly, try to fit in daily meditation to set your mind right. A lot of people like meditating before starting their day. But I actually like doing it before I go to bed so that I can relax my mind and get good rest.

You can't always control your environment or the people who cross your path and impact you. But you can only control yourself and how you react and cope with your environment. Good luck. We are all here for you.

I have been trying to get sleep and relax and cool down. I have also been better at setting boundaries. Recently the boundaries I've been setting with others has been stepped on again. Leaving me feeling worthless and this agonizing pain inside. Everything is a bad feeling, but yet the only good feelings are running away for a while. I sense and feel a change needs to be made but trying to figure it out is not coming clearly enough.

Hi...well...your NOT worthless....nor are you helpless...when you say they've stepped 9n your boundaries....what kind of boundaries?....verbal boundaries?...or energetic boundaries?...and how have they stepped on them?...

Verbal boundaries. I know my energetic boundaries support it. Maybe they just don't like them because it doesn't benefit their needs?

Well...I do know that when someone is constantly doing something contrary to what I like...and have stated so directly and they continue to do it...then I walk away...and don't look back....if this is happening with a family member....I don't know what to tell you because if you can't move out or get away...then...your stuck...you ARE worthy of respect...say that out loud and to yourself when You're feeling like You're being disrespected...and just walk away from it....sometimes that's all you can do until things get better....

Stuck is it! This blows.

Ya...when it's family and you can't get away, it is.....I'm sorry your going thru that....it took me years after I left home to heal...but it does happen and get better....is there any other family member you feel comfortable with you could go and stay for a breather? Getting away and out of the way for a while on a regular basis would help a bit...
updated by @womanwhowalks: 12/06/17 09:26:59PM

It's a combination of work and family. The work situation has become bad once again. My headaches have become chronic along with chest pain and muscle stiffness. My family says it's life and to deal. I want to move away far far away. Is that really the solution? It will happen again? I feel like all the negativity is making me super hyper sensitive that I'm just the bomb blowing up with no time in life to release the excess energy. I desire to go way out in nature, and living in a big city is hours of a drive. I took cold medicine just so I could sleep in peace as my dreams have been "wild" I periodically wake throughout the night.

I feel like I'm loosing it.

You work in an office?..I have the chest pain and the muscle stiffness too....the pain in my chest is on the left side....I'm stressed but I don't always think it's due to the stress or the public I come in contact with....I'm not saying your crazy...sometimes there are OTHER factors that may be causing issues....recently in the past year I've come to realize that bar codes can cause certain physical and mental effects that we aren't aware of...i've started to remove these devices from the products I buy...and from everything I have in the house...when I'm surrounded by the barcodes...like today...went to Winners and it was like something sitting on my chest....not a good feeling...plus I've noticed with myself depending on the energy emitted by these things, my moods change...this energy is quite noticeable to me...not everyone can sense it...but being an empath and able to detect all sorts of energy I can...and you could too...the barcodes CAN cause headaches if you have a few that are particularly strong...what I'm trying to say is check around a bit...take a few off your products and see how you feel....start at home and just monitor how you feel...these codes can alter people's energy fields..if your at your own desk take the barcodes off the products around you...you don't need them anyway....just keep an open mind...this sound nuts....but it IS a real energy issue that needs to be included in the weirdeness of the world...lol...i always feel better when I'm without those codes near me....I'm still finding them as the guy who I'm renting my house from didn't remove them from the products used for renos so there are a whole BUNCH I can't see but can feel throughout my house...lol...it sux...anyway...this is just a suggestion and something to look into...your co workers have this energy around them as well...So the codes would be infecting their energy fields too...I always felt overloaded as well and once I started removing them my energy began to even out....based on how I react to energy I can understand a bit better when people start acting strange and weird...So I look at myself and for possible energy around or near a person that could cause a change in a person....if I find it I don't get as upset....lol....the dreams are normal...a lot of that are messages from the spirit world....spirit guides etc....just keep tabs on them....I have a braid of sweetgrass over my bed to help minimize any nightmares....my stiffness I attribute to my driving for over 7.5 hours a day....but im also under psychic attack most days so most of the time i think its caused by that..lol
updated by @womanwhowalks: 12/06/17 10:28:39PM

I've heard this called "the Dark Night of the Soul". It happens to me regularly as well. So when I get overwhelmed and go into seclusion, I take it as motivation to change something in my life. I see a purpose to it. When I make that change I'm much more content with my place in the world.  

Does this dark time also make you more physically sick, depressed, tired, drunk feeling, loss of direction, forgetfulness, not wanting to leave your bed?

yes

I agree with you @zacharias, it certainly feels like a reminder that we need to improve something in ourselves. It seems like a meaningful experience when you think about it that way. Thanks for the advice 

updated by @eri-ameonna: 12/11/17 08:44:23AM

Just a reminder to everyone that the holiday season is a time of anxiety and depression for a lot of people. Anxiety for all the rushing around to parties and buying gifts. And depression for those who are lonely during a time when everyone else seems to be having fun. This adds an extra layer of stuff for all us to deal with. So keep that in mind when you all of a sudden feel exhausted or especially down. Keep it in perspective and try to ground and cheer up.

@hop-daddy great you mentioned this. I have noticed the past several days I'm sleeping alot and feel depressed all of a sudden. A shift from how I waa feeling before. The giving up is still there, it's just different. I'm at a point where I don't care anymore.

@tigerlily:

Just remember during this very busy month to take time to smell the roses. When you start having that numb or "don't care" feeling in life as an empath, it's a good signal to slow things down. And try to fit in enjoyable things that you love to do that make you happy. And most importantly during tough days or weeks, practice grounding to relieve the stress and weight of the world that you take on. And I'm a big proponent of taking salt baths whenever you feel down. Put out the candles, and put on some nice relaxing music that you love. Throw in a couple cups of rock salt (and add in epsom salts if you like that muscle relaxing feeling). I personally also enjoy a glass of wine as well. Jump in and just enjoy yourself. Relax! The salts are like magic. Even if you struggle with grounding meditations, the salt baths should really make a difference with relaxing your mind, body, and soul. 

I am experiencing the same thing as you @tigerlily, feeling so helpless and without purpose.. Hope we'll all get over this soon, take care of your health friends 

Great advice @hop-daddy, thanks for the reminder, I really needed this!

Overwhelmed it's not a good place for me. I literally want to run away from myself or step out of my body just so I don't feel anymore. I have actually begun open-ended roadtrips to combat this. Nothing much helps when I'm like that. Except for crying. That seems to unburden my soul. After that I'm almost like a blank slate, energy neutral. 

Then I can begin again. I know now when I'm about to become overwhelmed. I feel like striking out at the one person who loves me best. When I get to that spot and feel that temptation I turn myself off and let the feelings wash over me. I cannot battle them back. It just makes things worse. And then I cry for as long as it takes me to purge myself.

Crying is healing for me. It rids me of the vestiges of sadness/hopelessness/anger etc taken on by me from others, that I didn't successfully rid myself of when I received that.

updated by @anna-strobl: 12/20/17 06:09:23PM