Webs & Spiders
It's come down to this....
I no longer have visitors, visions or interaction with anything.
Why? 2 reasons
1) because the webs have taken over everything. They prevent and try to duplicate whatever comes near.
2) because I suppress everything - vision, interaction or thoughts. I dare not to even glance at anything too long for fear of engagement.
Although it's near impossible I do my best to avoid
I get really annoyed and sometimes overwhelmed but keep it on the down low. I do remind that I feel this attempt to contact doesn't feel right and I am not going to allow it. However, this just makes for more determination. In retribution, one time they created a very realistic black spider hanging down near me. I knew it wasn't really there. As I turned in bed one night I saw another spider on my pillow. This one was gold. Catching me off guard; I jumped and tried to brush it off; with clear mind I knew right away. Right now the webs are spreading across the walls. Unusual with the TV on but they know I am writing this post. They are smart and can learn.
It still alludes how to describe the webs. I can keep them at bay a little while if I keep the TV on or lights or both. The second they are turned off it's party time. They encompass the entire bedroom, down the hall and into the master bath. It's not confined there; it can be anywhere. It can be dense or sparse and separate. I try to ignore. Getting up and going down the hall to the; bathroom I push them back. I pretend I am not walking through a thick maze of sometimes black or often a lighter twinkling fog. I cover my head with blankets. If I look out I catch the attention of one or more small groups. They rush me. I don't want to find out why. There is some sort of obsession.
I believe it is all controlled by this mysterious man / entity. It's my own fault. During travels (while awake) I encountered a situation where I thought there was an injustice. I thought some (people?) were being confined and controlled by a (man?). For some stupid reason I can't "not" help someone in need no matter who or what.
I could only get a fleeting glance of him. I encouraged him to show himself fully. Little by little as time went on he did. I began to get uncertain when he started appearing when I closed my eyes. I learned to control my mind to block. He became more insistent and now almost desperate. I only have to close my eyes. I immediately see a waving gauzy lace patterned curtain with a frantic flurry of (spiders?) and he rushes toward me. He has unruly longish sterling gray hair sometimes facial hair or glasses. His entire coloring is gray. Pretty much the head is the only thing visible. The age is probably late mid range. He now has his mouth open as he approaches. It isn't like for a kiss. It seems as though he wants to cover my mouth. The only thing I know for guarding to do is walk on the ground with bare feet. I have tried really, really hard to shield. I am not sure if I am doing it right. I think you have to visualize some form of encase mentality. I can't get passed the mental picture I have when I close my eyes. I have to say visualization is not my best suit. I don't have stones or whatever is used to "smudge". I am so down to earth.
I really try to wrap my head around all this but it does not compute.
I just want him? it? they? Whatever it is to GO AWAY. I want to get back to a normal life. I dread nights. I have to stay awake until I fall asleep and then wake often. I can't just close my eyes to go to sleep because right away he's there.
Ghosts were ok but this is totally invasive and wanting control
My husband does not see or believe so it's the elephant in the room.
updated by @just-stevie: 11/10/17 06:48:47PM