Still wondering and wandering

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Rene''
@rene
2 months ago
1,194 posts
Hello. Everyone. I haven’t been on much but I do come back just to feel your energy because it comforts me somehow if I post or not. I am still searching for the reason Im walking this path but I have a much better understanding than before but I have one problem that seems to keep holding my back. Cutting cords to major narcissistic monster. My dad. I haven’t had contact with him in over a year but he still haunts me every day. I have done my best to rid myself of him but nothing seems to work. I do the normal cutting of cords and call of the angels for help but for some reason, it’s not going away. And suggestion on a better way to release him forever?
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 months ago
783 posts
Hi...perhaps you need to take one more step....instead of cutting the cords you might try taking out the roots as well...like plants those energy cords grow roots...and some grow deep...especially ones belonging to narcissists...with those you need to take out EVERYTHING....roots...see how that works...you might want to remove his roots from the rest of your family since his energy can leak to you through those as well...anyone who's in contact with him that you know...just take his roots out...you'll be doing them a favour by removing your Dad's roots since he's draining them as well...i hope this will work for you....and I'm glad your doing ok...☺
updated by @womanwhowalks: 09/30/17 09:31:48PM
Trevor Lewis
@trevor-lewis
2 months ago
272 posts

A suggestion for something different?  Try forgiveness - forgiving your father, forgiving yourself fro how you feel about him, forgiving God for setting you up this way in the first place.

Have a look at http://empathcommunity.eliselebeau.com/trevor-lewis/blog/1932/hooponopono-the-hawaiian-art-of-forgiveness

Blessings to you.

Janett Niemi
@janett-niemi
2 months ago
86 posts

Also, have you tried tapping? It is such a simple technique that works wonders. Head on over to   thetappingsolution.com     and check Nick Ortner. He has several free tappings to try, but it actually easy to do on your own. Youtube has several others who can show you how. It's a way to remove stuck energy from your body.

Rene''
@rene
2 months ago
1,194 posts
I’m going to try all of these. Thank you.
Trevor, i tell myself I forgive him every day but I must be lying to myself. When I feel like I can breath easy, he does or said something about me though a neutral party and it opens the wounds back up. I have worked hard on releasing him. Don’t know what to do. It’s holding me back though.
Trevor Lewis
@trevor-lewis
2 months ago
272 posts

@rene: Forgiveness is like a meditation. We don't meditate once and expect to be enlightened; it is a practice. Have a read of the article anyway and see if there is anything in there that can give you a new perspective.

BTW:
I come from a space of deciding that I chose my parents. I'm not saying that I always think that it was a wise choice.  There are still days when I wake up wondering "What was I thinking?!?!?"  but it does put me in the space of hero rather than victim knowing that I wouldn't be who I am today if I had chosen different parents. (and yes, I could be wrong about this but personally I find it a useful working hypothesis).

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 months ago
783 posts
I don't think you should put so much pressure on yourself...this kind of healing is a deep healing and it takes time to clear that up with yourself...it IS all about energy though.....different types that are connected....memories of bad things that happened and were forced on you through no fault of your own...and that's what you need to remember....forgiveness of the other will not come until the infection is released....perhaps it's expressing your anger and hurt in some way that it will release the pressure of the pent up energy/infection in your body and mind....after it releases is usually when the forgiveness comes....the energy must move and release before you get well.....like a blister or pimple....you have to keep poking it until you get rid of the infection...or a cut that has has an infection.....gotta go for the root of the infection...and my way may of be your way...you have to find the right combination for you....dont think of it as forgiveness so much as getting rid of the infection he's passed on to you....i don't think your ready to forgive yet....it's easy to say...but really...when you feel it you'll know it and it will be the right way for you....its ok NOT to be ready to forgive...that my 2 cents...lol...just keep poking at the infection pull all his roots out and just go with the flow....until you feel good with it....no pressure....for me if I feel as if I've done everything to heal myself and I know it shouldn't bother me...I tend to look for outside sources that are picking at those memories to bring out negative reactions and energy...and since you know that being connected energetically to a narcissist can drain you even from a distance and can be connected to you through your memories that's a main attraction that draws ANY kind of negative entity or human...so...check your energy for connections to DIFFERENT sources of energy drain....it could very well be something else using those awful memories for food....it may NOT be you at all....or even your dad...just something else to keep in mind...
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 months ago
783 posts
What usually gives me a clue is the memories that are coming up....don't be afraid of them.....dive into each of them and see if there's any cords attached to them then pull the roots...training yourself to look objectively at your memories tends to take the fear away too...i mean seriously...it just gets to a point where I roll my eyes when the memories come up out of no where and give a sigh and go clear the memory....and go on with my life...its just the way it is now...lol...and I smudge too...it helps heal the holes left by the removal of the cords and roots....
updated by @womanwhowalks: 10/01/17 06:06:33PM
Rene''
@rene
2 months ago
1,194 posts
Yes, I have triggers also and once I’m triggered, my day is ruined.
@Travor....I just tried it and it made me cry. Silly I know. Thank you.

Thank you all so much.
Rene''
@rene
2 months ago
1,194 posts
Trevor Lewis:

@rene: Forgiveness is like a meditation. We don't meditate once and expect to be enlightened; it is a practice. Have a read of the article anyway and see if there is anything in there that can give you a new perspective.

BTW:
I come from a space of deciding that I chose my parents. I'm not saying that I always think that it was a wise choice.  There are still days when I wake up wondering "What was I thinking?!?!?"  but it does put me in the space of hero rather than victim knowing that I wouldn't be who I am today if I had chosen different parents. (and yes, I could be wrong about this but personally I find it a useful working hypothesis).



I tried it and will do this every day. Thank you
LoconnorO
@loconnoro
2 months ago
151 posts

I definitely have to agree with the idea of forgiveness. I have a horrible relationship with both of my parents, especially with my dad, and I'm always supportive of him, but I them at a distance. I know for myself I had a lot of self-forgiveness. Growing up I made a lot of mistakes, as I'm sure everyone can relate to, but I all my life I have haunting memories of things that I did and things that others did to me. I learned that I had to face those memories that popped in my head and I would focus on releasing the anxiety and any emotions that resurfaced with those memories. I would kind of "replay" those memories until I could "watch" them without feeling an overwhelming emotion or the need to avoid that thought. Your mind should be your safest place, it is the closest thing to you (you're soul, who you are as an individual, as a solitary experience) and you shouldn't feel like you wall parts of your own mind off from yourself. With more physical and relational things with your father, just be compassionate towards him, but keep a healthy distance. I'm not sure what your situation is, just follow your intuition and it will lead to do the right thing. I would highly recommend trying different meditations, like a mindfulness meditation and especially a meditation on compassion. Just focus on that feeling. It is a very healing and encouraging meditation to do when you're feeling down about things I've found out.

Best of luck with everything, and it's good to see you back again!

Rene''
@rene
one month ago
1,194 posts
Thank you. I think part of the problem is I was never shown forgiveness from my family for being different. Their judgement is so harsh and it’s not because they are right to judge me but it’s because I’m not like them. I don’t have a problem with forgiving anyone else but it maybe because I was taught to just take it. Idk. I would so love to think my family was a loving family. From the outside, we look like it but behind closed doors, no one would believe the madness and secrets. Thank you all for your suggestions, I have already started a couple of them.
strugglebunny
@stugglebunny
one month ago
17 posts

@rene -- I loved your post.  Thank you for being vulnerable with us :) 

This place is so great for that.  I love coming here; whether I post or not as well; to feel the warming vibe from all the other empaths.  I've struggled accepting that I'm an empath.  I move close to it at times because I believe it to be true, but then I subconsciously push it away out of not accepting myself.  When I move close to it in acceptance I'm free.  I don't know why I'm walking this path either, but the people closest to me see my gift & they encourage me to accept it.  It's amazing to feel so deeply for others, we just have to learn how to shield ourselves in a healthy manner. 

I comment on your post because I too have issues with my father.  I don't believe he's a narcissist, but I've had to emotionally work hard on cutting the cord.  There is a lot of physical things we can do to visual a disconnect from someone we no longer want to harm us, but I believe there is an internal job one must conduct to complete the process.  Forgiveness was spoken of in the thread.  Forgiveness is powerful.  My father is someone whom I love deeply.  We will never have the relationship we had when I was a child/teenager because I see reality for what it is in our relationship.  I held on to the emotional side of our relationship for years.  We would make plans & he would no show.  He told me he would call & he didn't.  He didn't show up for my birthday one year when he said he would.  It was heartbreaking for me.  How could a father do this to his child?  I don't know what your circumstances are, but mine put me in a victim mentality.  For me to let go I could no longer be a victim of circumstance.  I had to do something that was really hard for me.  I had to accept who he was & all his flaws.  Acceptance doesn't mean we like the person, place or thing -- it just means it no longer has power over us anymore.  That is an amazing thing only we have control over within ourselves.  Acceptance is a process for me.  Sometimes it takes a week, there are other times that it takes years.  As long as I have people I can lean on to talk to about my issues with my father I receive strength.  I have to remind myself I am not a victim and seek out the strength to accept who & what the situation is in that moment. 

Hope this helps :)  ***Good luck***

Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
one month ago
726 posts
Beautiful @stugglebunny....you are correct for we have to let go of the victim mindset. @rene, I feel for you that you still struggle with your father and his actions. I know you have dealt with this for years. A quote for the Bible comes to mind for you...again like a broken record here mentioning forgiveness...”Forgive them for they know not what they do”. So many people are blind as to how they treat others. They are so lost in their egos that it’s like they have blinders on. Sad but true. You are a good person @rene....don’t ever forget that. It is very hard to cut the ties that bind when you are bound by blood. I know this all too well.
Blessings
Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
one month ago
726 posts
http://www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/display/articledisplay.cgi?aid=59864&aff=
@rene...funny I ran across this in my email this morning and felt it wound resonate with you 😉
Enjoy!
updated by @cat-whisperer: 10/09/17 06:24:48AM

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