I wish I had an answer, but I don't. I am trying to stick with a healthy lifestyle, i.e. Doing meditation, trying to stay positive and hoping that time will heal my broken heart.
Yup, I'm going through same thing. I knew her from university and we've been in contact over the years but past six months it became very intense emotionally. I think I pushed the romantic with her and she sort of was into it but I too had to be honest with myself and realise that she just isn't that into me. My head knows it was all kinds of wrong but the pain after we stopped speaking was immense. I suffered badly for about a week and I still have some sleepless nights.
Like you, I'm mad at my heart for holding on to her when my head knows it's not the right match at all. Like it's becoming annoying and really affecting my life on a day to day basic. I'm funcioning but every now and then I dabble in looking at pictures of her and even send an email.
It's like our emotions made a connection and once broken all that's left is a wound that's taking its time to heal and every now and then cries out for relief. It's an emotional and sexual thing but intellectually we have nothing in common and I really just want to move on. Someone needs to tell my soul that though.
I think dealing with the pain head on helps the healing though. Perhaps directly after your break with him you never confronted your feelings of the breakup so you never really let the pain go and after seeing the picture it all came flooding back. I would say allow yourself to grieve the loss, feel the pain. It could take a few months but if you confront your feelings research shows that you'll begin seeing the positives after 11 weeks. So they say,
updated by @stills: 05/12/17 02:31:43PM
You are not alone....I still feel that way with someone I knew over 20 years ago. Like you I think I manufactured most of the relationship in my head due to being in a failing relationship at the time. He still pops into my head on occasion and I still wonder if it would have worked out...but I know better, he was a major alcoholic, and probably still is. Hopefully time will heal this for you
updated by @cat-whisperer: 05/13/17 06:39:51AM
i had put something here earlier, it didnt go online.
it has been happening to me same way for one year and a half, i end it up by noticing she is a narcisist, she is notnecessarily a bad person, but she is a narcisist, they will manipulate and try to rule over anything, is like a pathology.
we have always being in this passive agressive mode, till i realize it is not good at all, and im far away from my observing side and sanity...seriously it makes one go mad...
i broke out with her already like more than 10 times, but whenver we feel lonely we come back to each other, 2 differents poles attract each other, our sexual and emotional conexion is the strongest i ve seen, she gets into my dreams and i feel i trade places with her emotions very much...
thing is i need to get pass that, cause i know she is not the one for me, but she is obsessed now im a very good guy for her!
nice being sharing this!!!!
You bring up a very good question. I am over fifty now, and I really am worried that the answer is yes, we do have to pick. It just seems like this is a common thread. If anyone has the intensity and the health as well, please speak up!
I don't even know when I will feel ok again after this latest drama. Even when this person showed no compassion or sensitivity, I could not and cannot turn off the feelings. It makes me mad, but I'm not going to lie, the feelings are good.
I did meet with my new therapist and she said that the fact that I have been so lonely and unfulfilled is why this happened. OK, but at the same time, I also have a good life. I have stability and security and a good partner. It's no one's fault that we are all the way we are. It is probably obvious, but I am extremely frustrated at this situation right now, so this post is timely.
Is this just a case of no one can have it all? If that is true, fine, but I just want peace.
Well, I've had a realisation that those intense feelings, that pain, is real love. Can't avoid it. Love is pain. It hurts. I've been in relationships before where I love the person dearly but the intensity, the pain isn't there which is probably why it fizzled. This girl has me sobbing like a baby coz I'm crazy about her. I need to stop denying those feelings, probably because I'm afraid of the intensity. I'm afraid because it can detroy me but I guess that's the leap of faith I need to take. I can't live a lie, and I don't want to be a coward. So I emailed her these thoughts and feelings and emailed back basically telling me she feels the same and hopes I make the move (there's distance between us logistically).
Sorry to hijack this thread but I'm thinking these feelings will never leave. Ever. They'll probablu become manageable in time but it seems the only thing that can ease the pain is the cause of the pain. I've got to go for it as scary as it is because as Aimee Man sings: 'It's not gonna stop until you wise up." Even if I don't get her, I got to accept that I'm in love with her, it's beyond logic, embrace the pain, let it make me a better person and channel it into something creative.
updated by @stills: 05/16/17 05:11:00AM
@sensi-sante, I am an introvert too. I know I am ok alone, but the thought of it makes me very sad. But, being with a toxic person or where I am basically a roommate is also no fun. Ahhhh, life....
updated by @womanwhowalks: 05/21/17 03:05:18PM
Yeah, I have the same kind of issue. Like is the pain I feel when we're not speaking my pain, or hers? Or both? I ask because it's an unusual pain, like it's not mine. As an empath you guys know what I mean. When you just feel like a feeling in you is an interpretation of someone elses energy. I just don't know.
updated by @womanwhowalks: 05/21/17 03:38:50PM
updated by @womanwhowalks: 05/22/17 02:08:08PM
updated by @womanwhowalks: 05/22/17 02:54:46PM