I know exactly how you feel, I often walk the thin line between sane and insane. The things we discover within is so foriegn to our "human side" yet it just seems to clear to our spiritual self. This disconnect often leads us to a whole lot of confusion because we are forced to either accept what we have always been taught and have learned to believe in, or do we throw away everything we have always known and accept a new truth? It's not an easy journey and it's a journey I still continue. There are many truths, but we have to decide for ourselves which truth to follow. The one thing that has helped me is the realization that truth is subjective. We are often taught and raised to believe that there can only be one truth and anything that contradicts that truth has to be false because you can't have both and both be true,right? Wrong. See, we were given freewill and this freewill allows us to make choices, which allows us to find our own truth. In Christianity, we are taught that there is only 1 God and any other God is false. We are trained to believe that everything in the bible is the "only" truth but what makes it true? Is it because a bunch of guys say so, or os there something inside that draws us to that truth? I struggled alot with Christianity when I got older because if God created everyone and loves everyone that how come he cursed me to be someone the church and himself would reject? I didn't asl to be a Medium, I couldn't shut it off, it was simply a part of who I was and left me feeling cursed since the age of 5. Basically, what I was raised to believe was truth and what I felt inside was different, so I went on search for God, not the angry fire throwing God in the Bible, but the light that had followed me and has watched and been with me since also childhood. I realized that I didn't hold the same beliefs as organized religion and therefore found my own path and my own truth within. Yet, I also understood the need that some people to need this type of structured religion is necessary for their spiritual needs to grow. But just because theirs grew and it diminished my own, didn't make one false and one true, it just means that on an individual basis, my soul needed something different. It also explains the extreme anxiety a Christian would get for going outside of the religion, but it also explained the peace I felt for moving away from their truth and moved into mine. I found a God that I always knew was there, but now, I can truely experience him without fear! Let me tell you, I was scared to death of God because I "was cursed",lol. I also came to the conclusion that truth is subjected and the only thing that makes a truth truth is one's belief in it. This is why some people can swear up and down that ghosts don't exsist, because they have no belief in it, therefore, to that person,they don't exsist, but for one who does believe in it, it's a very real experience.
This type of thinking will blur the lines between your belief in the religion and your belief in spirituality. And this is a journey only you can do alone. My suggestion is to question what you already believe and ask yourself why you believe it, then ask yourself what about it makes you doubt. Chances are you are having a conflict in what is taught by other people and the more spiritual truth you feel within. The bible say's "this is wrong", yet, I feel so much peace about this, why? You'll also question whether you create God, ect, and more "taboo" subjects, but if you believe in a God or a supreme being, then you won't doubt the exsistance of the higher being, just the differance between what the world exerieinces as God and what experieince him to be. For me, I believe in God, but the God I was trained to believe in and the God that exsists inside are two completely different Gods. The God in the bible rejects and doesn't love people like me, so why be a part of people and a God that rejects me, obviously this isn't my path, so I went inward, I threw away everything I was trained and chose to discover the God I knew within and I found a loving and wonderful God, one that has been with me and loved me all along. One that is proud of me and helps me connect to my higher spiritual self. In short, if it draws you closer to the light/God, then this is the path you are meant to be on, if it takes you away from it, it's probebly not the path for you. The reality is, we come here alone and we leave alone. The person we must face is only ourselves. God gave us freewill, the freewill to choose. The goal isn't following man's ideas and perceptions, because it takes away from the entire purpose to choose The goal is to bring you closer to him, if you so choose, that path isn't in a book, it's your in your heart and that beautiful light that brings you close to him is your path. You will feel some anxiety over this, but this is where you need to decide if it's because your going against what you truely believe, or is it fear cause by going against what you were trained to believe.Ask God to help you on this journey, to help you find the truth that is meant for YOU, and this journey will hopefully be more peaceful.
I hope this helps,though it's a very challanging journey, I promise, it is well worth the journey.