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Sarah
@sarah
2 years ago
386 posts

I had a really powerful past life or maybe pre-life experience the other day. To be honest I still feel funny sharing this stuff here because it's personal, but it's had such a big impact I want to share.

As a lot of my posts here have dealt with I'm in a time of spiritual awakening and moving away from my intensive religion. This has been an excruciating, euphoric, confusing, stressful, intense, blessed time that I am very grateful for. It feels a lot like those books and shows about people leaving the Amish faith or a polygamous compound. It's been that life changing for me.

Well, part of this process has involved a fair amount of grief and anger. I kept feeling mad especially that I didn't finish this awakening when it first started decades ago when I was a teenager. It would have been smoother and less traumatic for me to have gone through it then, then now when I've raised my kids in it and all that.

When I was once again lamenting that fact the other night, I was meditating and I suddenly saw myself before I came down to this life. I saw I was making plans with my guide about what I wanted to learn and experience this time around. I saw that before I came here this time, I had been fascinated by my particular religion. I saw that I'd learned a lot about it and studied it, but that one of the things I wanted from this life was to actually experience being a part of that faith. It sort of felt like a religious scholar who is fascinated by the Amish, and gets an opportunity to live in their community for a year. What an enriching, dream come true opportunity. Well, that's what I did with my own religion in this lifetime.

I suddenly saw the things that have been giving me pain in a new light. I saw that having a religiously addicted parent made it so I could have an especially immersive experience. I saw that even though I'm not even from this part of the country, I just happened to end up two miles from our church world wide headquarters, what a thrill that must have been to my spirit to be that close to its heart. I saw many more things like that. I also saw that it was a blessing that I didn't finish my awakening until my early 40s instead of my teens. That way I got to really be involved all the way, in a way that wouldn't have been complete if I'd left as a kid. It was all part of the plan I chose.

I feel like my time in that religion is probably at a close now. Who knows. I've been so guided through this whole process. If I feel drawn back for some reason, I'll go back, but it doesn't seem to be moving that way at all. Now, since I had that past life related experience, I feel like I can leave with great gratitude instead of confusion and anger and sadness. What a blessing!


updated by @sarah: 03/11/17 09:25:21PM
Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

That's wonderful, Sarah. After you are away from your old religion for a while, you might be able to see it in a new light.. one that is not altogether a bad one...just a deeper perspective. I have come to appreciate most all religions (although not the institutions and all the trappings). . . but have found some truths in most of them. You do seem to be well guided:)

Sarah
@sarah
2 years ago
386 posts

Ecila, I do think that's where I'm heading--in a direction where I can appreciate the good things of all religions. I've always found religion in general fascinating and learning more about the origins of human religion, the myths and rituals and symbols and truths together make me even more interested in it. I think this time of being an outsider is going to be very valuable to me on a lot of levels, and one of those is to help me appreciate the purpose of religion in people's lives even more. Which seems counter-intuitive, but there it is. :)

Sarah
@sarah
2 years ago
386 posts

Neat! I started doing past life work is something I started doing about a year ago. I can usually only see the parts of past lives that have to do with my healing, so I know what to heal, but sometimes I see little blips like this that help me and guide me. It has been amazing! I'm glad you have had your own awakening and have seen things in your own past lives. :)

Sarah
@sarah
2 years ago
386 posts

Hugs!

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