How did you start doing readings?
lol, this is a pretty long story. I just checked the date and I have only been doing readings for 3 years, officially, that is. I've been intuitive all my my life but it was about 3 years ago when all hell broke loose in my life. My husband and I started watching a show called Ghost hunters back in 2005/2006 so we joined a ghost hunting team. At this point I had no idea I was a medium, I just knew I was connected to the spirit realm and terrified of it and looked at this as an opportunity to get over my fears. I became to involved with saving a spirit and it was pretty cool picking up the information I did. However, my mind was still not focused on psychic abilities, but conquering a fear of spirits. I was already a practicing witch and used this to also help the spirit. I ended up pissing off some other spirits that was attched to this one and the children that were with her. I think things got really bad the night I crossed over the children. It turned bad really quick and it was like I was 15 all over again when I was playing the game. They attacked me and my family. The more I still up the stronger the attacks. I started getting severe panic attacks again, like when I was a kid. It seemed to enjoy going after my kids. My oldest was thrown out a chair and one early morning my husband and I saw a basketball sized orb go into my younger kids room, within seconds my youngest woke up screaming. It got so bad that it literally forced us to move.
At that point I didn't want to have anything to do with spirits, yet it also reaffirmed to me that I was cursed. I tried blocking. However, within the first week of living in our new place, the ghosts still came. I tried bocking it out, i ignored them, yet nothing worked. My panic attacks go so bad, it literally disabled me. I was so depressed that I wanted to die. But everyday I forced myself to get up, clean the house, take the kids to the park, cook dinner. This really affected my kids because I was always so strong, they never saw me cry, not even when my ex and I split up, but now it was on a daily basis. They were scared, my husband was scared, and I was scared. I had to take back control . I realized that in order to beat the panic attacks, i had to lift my self out of the depression. I took a good hard look at all the weird things that had happened to me for my entire life, why I was a freak, figuring out if I was truly crazy and why I was always haunted. Do you realize that there has never been a house I lived in that wasn't haunted, or at least didn't become haunted after I moved in? I started researching this as well as being an Emapth. A couple years prior, a good friend of mine, who taught me the craft, told me I wan an Empath. I had no idea what it was other than it was someone who was really sensative to feelings, and thought she was mistaken because I was completely numb at that time. anyway's, that's another story,lol. So I started researching psychic abilities . For the first time I realized who I was, or at least understood the curse a little. To stay on the safe side, I used the Angels as my mentors. None of it really seemed real until I saw the Caylee Anthony Case on tv. I started getting all of this information and impressions that I wrote down and then lost. About a month or so later, there were some updates and realized the reading was accurate up until that point. So I wrote down what I could remember from the original impressions and continued to follow the story. I also realized that before I was aware of this I was already reading others including spirits , and I always did it for amber alerts. In fact, i used to astral project to help back then. I just never had a name to any of this, it was just ...natural. I didn't think about it, I just did it, no hesitation or anything. Not until I started understanding the spirit realm.
Anyway's after that we eventually moved where I had internet access. I joined a web-site that had a practice den. I did a whole bunch of readings and asking for feedback. When they came back as accurate, this boosted my confidence. But it also took me down a journey into the dark night of the soul. I had to reevaluate everything, my beliefs,, my fears, everything and this is still an ongoing process. Sometimes I wish I had never known, so I could just do what I did before, simply live and be guided by intuition and not spend so much time with knowledge and the need for understanding. However, without this, i wouldn't have learned what I know now and my abilities wouldn't have room to develop. This path was inevitable. Recently, i have been moving forward and am starting to get my strength back, but I have decided to share some of my experience with others to help them while they go through their own journey.
I see the need for this knowledge now. I used to be impulsive, reckless, but now I have a better understanding of all of my abilities. I have seen what I am capable of doing, but with this knowledge, maybe I can be even stronger than before and avoid some of the potholes I feel into in the past. This gift is truly a gift. I have learned compassion and love. I have learned to love without fear and I am being able to develop my mediumship in a much deeper way that will eventually pave the way of my life purpose.
I gotta get going, but thank you for reading this long post. Many blessings to you
Another heartbreaking story. I can relate to a lot of what you felt growing up. Man, it's hard being an empath & not understanding what the heck is going on! I coped by virtually shutting off all emotions. The only thing I've never had was encounters demons, although I'm very good at dealing with "dark" energy. I think it's something I learned to deal with in a past life, cause I certainly didn't learn it in this one! Ghosts never bothered me either. I basically told them not to because I was terrified of them. The terror was from my imagination ~ watching scary movies when I was too young, and from my brother telling me stories & winding me up! I'm glad at least your story has a happy ending. Thanks for sharing, and welcome to the group!
Not long ago my partner lost a relative that he was close to but I had never met. That whole week he was trying to hold in his grief and not upset us. Being an empath his emotions found an outlet through me. I couldn't handle the huge waves of grief he was experiencing as well as he seemed to be. I felt like I was crazy that week. I felt absolutely unstable and ripped apart with grief. I was yelling and crying with no way to cope other then letting it all out. Not the best situation since he had to care for me while he was grieving but it probably gave him something else to concentrate on for a bit. I do pick up on others emotions but they get amplified once I feel them. It sucks because I end up feeling their emotions but I feel them stronger then they do it seems. Like if they are angry then I feel infuriated.