How did you start doing readings?
lol, this is a pretty long story. I just checked the date and I have only been doing readings for 3 years, officially, that is. I've been intuitive all my my life but it was about 3 years ago when all hell broke loose in my life. My husband and I started watching a show called Ghost hunters back in 2005/2006 so we joined a ghost hunting team. At this point I had no idea I was a medium, I just knew I was connected to the spirit realm and terrified of it and looked at this as an opportunity to get over my fears. I became to involved with saving a spirit and it was pretty cool picking up the information I did. However, my mind was still not focused on psychic abilities, but conquering a fear of spirits. I was already a practicing witch and used this to also help the spirit. I ended up pissing off some other spirits that was attched to this one and the children that were with her. I think things got really bad the night I crossed over the children. It turned bad really quick and it was like I was 15 all over again when I was playing the game. They attacked me and my family. The more I still up the stronger the attacks. I started getting severe panic attacks again, like when I was a kid. It seemed to enjoy going after my kids. My oldest was thrown out a chair and one early morning my husband and I saw a basketball sized orb go into my younger kids room, within seconds my youngest woke up screaming. It got so bad that it literally forced us to move.
At that point I didn't want to have anything to do with spirits, yet it also reaffirmed to me that I was cursed. I tried blocking. However, within the first week of living in our new place, the ghosts still came. I tried bocking it out, i ignored them, yet nothing worked. My panic attacks go so bad, it literally disabled me. I was so depressed that I wanted to die. But everyday I forced myself to get up, clean the house, take the kids to the park, cook dinner. This really affected my kids because I was always so strong, they never saw me cry, not even when my ex and I split up, but now it was on a daily basis. They were scared, my husband was scared, and I was scared. I had to take back control . I realized that in order to beat the panic attacks, i had to lift my self out of the depression. I took a good hard look at all the weird things that had happened to me for my entire life, why I was a freak, figuring out if I was truly crazy and why I was always haunted. Do you realize that there has never been a house I lived in that wasn't haunted, or at least didn't become haunted after I moved in? I started researching this as well as being an Emapth. A couple years prior, a good friend of mine, who taught me the craft, told me I wan an Empath. I had no idea what it was other than it was someone who was really sensative to feelings, and thought she was mistaken because I was completely numb at that time. anyway's, that's another story,lol. So I started researching psychic abilities . For the first time I realized who I was, or at least understood the curse a little. To stay on the safe side, I used the Angels as my mentors. None of it really seemed real until I saw the Caylee Anthony Case on tv. I started getting all of this information and impressions that I wrote down and then lost. About a month or so later, there were some updates and realized the reading was accurate up until that point. So I wrote down what I could remember from the original impressions and continued to follow the story. I also realized that before I was aware of this I was already reading others including spirits , and I always did it for amber alerts. In fact, i used to astral project to help back then. I just never had a name to any of this, it was just ...natural. I didn't think about it, I just did it, no hesitation or anything. Not until I started understanding the spirit realm.
Anyway's after that we eventually moved where I had internet access. I joined a web-site that had a practice den. I did a whole bunch of readings and asking for feedback. When they came back as accurate, this boosted my confidence. But it also took me down a journey into the dark night of the soul. I had to reevaluate everything, my beliefs,, my fears, everything and this is still an ongoing process. Sometimes I wish I had never known, so I could just do what I did before, simply live and be guided by intuition and not spend so much time with knowledge and the need for understanding. However, without this, i wouldn't have learned what I know now and my abilities wouldn't have room to develop. This path was inevitable. Recently, i have been moving forward and am starting to get my strength back, but I have decided to share some of my experience with others to help them while they go through their own journey.
I see the need for this knowledge now. I used to be impulsive, reckless, but now I have a better understanding of all of my abilities. I have seen what I am capable of doing, but with this knowledge, maybe I can be even stronger than before and avoid some of the potholes I feel into in the past. This gift is truly a gift. I have learned compassion and love. I have learned to love without fear and I am being able to develop my mediumship in a much deeper way that will eventually pave the way of my life purpose.
I gotta get going, but thank you for reading this long post. Many blessings to you
Another heartbreaking story. I can relate to a lot of what you felt growing up. Man, it's hard being an empath & not understanding what the heck is going on! I coped by virtually shutting off all emotions. The only thing I've never had was encounters demons, although I'm very good at dealing with "dark" energy. I think it's something I learned to deal with in a past life, cause I certainly didn't learn it in this one! Ghosts never bothered me either. I basically told them not to because I was terrified of them. The terror was from my imagination ~ watching scary movies when I was too young, and from my brother telling me stories & winding me up! I'm glad at least your story has a happy ending. Thanks for sharing, and welcome to the group!