Cautious

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The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
3 years ago
794 posts

I've been hesitant to post this topic because I don't want anyone to misunderstand what i am saying and take offense. Being that we're beings of light and are essentially beacons to some people, it makes me feel very uncomfortable to be in a city that has a big population of mentally ill people. Prior to moving here, my sister mentioned in passing that Eugene, OR has a lot of mentally ill people everywhere you look and I see that now. What makes me uncomfortable is, it's usually the people who are different that feel like friends and as an empath, I grow close people, different people especially. I just don't want to have people who are unstable gravitate toward me or vice versa and I wind up getting hurt or blind sided by it. I'm not saying those with behavioral or mental disorders are troublesome, I'm simply saying I don't wish to one day be in a situation where I've attracted the wrong person or I could not tell that this person was unstable because I was focused on the fact that they felt like a friend.

I've been blind sided and hurt by a person who I considered a good friend of mine last year. For 3 years, we had a great friendship. She mentioned her mental and emotional problems with me often, but I didn't pay attention to that because she gave me no reason to pay attention to it. Perhaps she was medicated and was stable. But she was also the worst kind of friend. An energy drainer who would vent all her problems to me nonstop for hours without even giving me a moment to speak. I was always there for her. When she needed me, I dropped what I was doing and would be a listening ear for hours. The one day I chose to ignore her call because I was busy with work, she just flips out. Telling me how I'm such a horrible friend and I'm not a true friend because I didn't call her back. Then she started talking very paranoid, saying she couldn't trust me and she knows that I'm a shady person. I had NO idea where all this was coming from considering I was her therapist for a year. I could have told her to vent to someone else, but that's not who I am. But it hit me, and it hit me hard. She often spoke about being bi polar, schizophrenic, and more, but I didn't see that because I saw her, who she was without her mental health issues.

It's not only painful to have someone you called a friend suddenly flip and see you as the enemy, but it's a complete and utter shock that I don't know how to process when it happens. After that moment, I've just been a lot more cautious with whom I am befriending out here. The empath in me will always see a friend, it does not judge on race, gender, sexual orientation, disability or ability. It sees the person. I think it's frighteningly ironic to encounter all sorts of people who feel like friends, but I can't even sense that something may not be right with them until the last minute when it explodes in my face. I just don't want to unknowingly gravitate to someone who is highly unstable and shows no signs of it and they just go off one day for whatever reason which could harm me physically or emotionally. I spent months reeling from the breakup with her and tried to see it logically and understand what just happened. It's not something I wish to go through again is all.


updated by @the-importance-of-being-jonny: 06/05/17 11:14:30PM
The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
3 years ago
794 posts

Very profound. Thanks Roy. :)

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
3 years ago
794 posts

Thank you Juli.

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