I feel that as the months go by, I grow stronger spiritually and my light grows brighter. Even though I can't feel it, I see it in how people treat me. Seems practically overnight I've gained more responsibility at work, I'm hearing from people that other people would like to hire me for my services, I get calls from friends who want my help. I can't tell you how many times a day I hear my name being called at work. "Ask Jonny." "Ask Jonny, he can help you." I dunno how it got to be this way. I don't dislike it, but I am vastly overwhelmed by it. I feel like I need to take a break from society weekly. When i give myself time to heal, in the interim, I can't heal because I've got more people reaching out to me. I try to ignore it all but sometimes it doesn't go as planned.
I've discussed here before being treated like a celebrity and it's a lot more obvious to me now. A few days ago, as I walked by, two students were whispering about me. I heard them say "That's Jonny the Toymaker." and when I stopped to tell them that I heard my name, they looked so frightened or in awe. I dunno if it was surprising to them that I stopped to speak to them or what, but for real? Speaking of students, another student from the prior term always looked so scared to look me in the eye and ask for the key to the garbage bins outside. I'm harmless. No one needs to be intimidated by me. I'm actually intimidated by most people so I don't want people to feel this way in my presence.
I can't help but feel like a celebrity because that's how the people treat me. And like most empaths, I don't like attention being drawn to myself. I would rather stay in the shadows and not be noticed. I'm only being myself. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, but apparently, the me that I am is so liked. On the other hand, the people that treat me horribly and lash out at me are the people with secrets, the ones with darkness inside them. I can't help who I am. I don't always pick up on your inner demons but when I do, it's outta my control. I've been around people that have given me headaches each time I've been in their presence, people who cause me to shake and tremble with fear and those who are just downright intimidating. I dunno why I'm put into situations where I am around these people daily or once in a while but I've never paid attention to how I felt in the past and now is the time to start paying attention to everything, the good and the bad, everything that happens to me when I am around humans.
updated by @the-importance-of-being-jonny: 02/12/17 12:55:51PM