Angel
Angel
@angel
5 years ago
607 posts

The other options are to tell him that if he is going to stay , he needs treatment otherwise he needs to go or you can continue to live the way you live with him now, which you are not happy with. This situation sucks but like I said before, it's his problem, not yours unless you make it your problem. If he is not willing to meet you half way, how much does he love you anyways? The way I see it, your house, your rules, and all your doing is drawing the line, the rest is his choice, not yours. If he doesn't care about how his issues are effecting you or your relationship that may be an indicator that the love is only one-sided, and you don't want that either. The last option, if he is mentally unstable enough, is to contact the VA if he is a veteran, or your local crisis team to do an evaluation on him. He would have to be pretty bad, danger to self or others, in which case, they could do the eval and see if he qualifies for a 72 hour hold in a ward where they would stabalize him on med, Again, he would have to be a serious risk for the last option.

If it were me, that's what I would do, if I wasn't ready to let go, draw the line, give him his options and have him make the choice. If he chooses neither, then he chooses to leave.

I know it's alot easier said then done, but like I said, I've had to do and it wasn't pretty, in fact, his true colors really showed during that time which only reinforced what I was doing. Your not the bad guy in this and neither is he, it is what it is. There is no mistake, the reality is is that you love him but you can't live with him like that and he doesn't seem to want to change. So give him one last chance to make that change and if he refuses then you need to choose you.

This is the closest I can do with telling you what to do without telling you what to do,lol. Be strong, and don't allow your emotions to cloud what you are trying to accomplish. My thoughts are with you.


updated by @angel: 12/24/17 06:34:48PM
Roxanne
Roxanne
@roxanne
5 years ago
1,562 posts

Speak to your doctor, about his problem and how the anxiety is affecting you. I heard a saying once: "..If you don't know what to do don't do anything at all. "
We don't always have the luxury to live that way, but it sounds to me like if you tell him to go tonight you will only ask him back tomorrow. So why don't you just try to hold on, until you can get a doctor to help give YOU advice.
If this is clinical PTSD, medication might be the difference between both of you finding a peaceful solution.
I wish you luck.
If he is a physical threat please call police or domestic abuse hotline for advice.
You are not alone.

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