Tiring

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The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
4 years ago
794 posts

This isn't a vent, but it's a declaration of being tired of the same behavior from everyone in our lives that express that you don't talk to them when it could be for a reason such as being busy with life. I don't have the energy to soothe people's egos especially when they have shown time and time again that they could care less about our lives. It's always one sided and the most frustrating thing of it all is that I always find myself in these situations where, no matter how many times I inform people about my true nature, being an introverted person who needs plenty of me time, they disregard that and talk to each other about how they haven't heard from me and they are worried. If they are worried, reach out.

I'm not gonna let people turn something like me being busy into a personal issue entitled "You aren't talking to me." It's ridiculous and I'm shocked that humans don't have the logic to see this. Now, to soothe his ego, I'm about to send my brother an email reminding him that I have been busy. I told him when I last saw him that I had several projects to work on as soon as I got back from vacation. But anything about my life is overlooked. They see what they want to see and that is not fair to people like us. He tells my sister that he is worried about me cuz he hasn't heard from me but at the same time, I don't see him reaching out to me to make sure I am alright. So where is this worrying coming from? it's tiresome and anytime I see behavior like this, it pushes me further away from them cuz I have my own life that I have to worry about and I can't always be concerned about trivial matters such as this. And, if I should do something as horrible as express how I feel, I've hurt many people's feelings and I should have gone about it differently. It's a no win situation. I'm always told to keep in touch, yet on the other hand, they don't keep in touch with me either and if I were to be "emotional" and tell them how I feel, they would remind me of how busy they are in life and they can't just drop what they are doing to see or talk to me. This is why empaths are such lonely people.


updated by @the-importance-of-being-jonny: 01/13/17 02:22:46AM
The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
4 years ago
794 posts

It's definitely a trial that many of us go through where it seems like we aren't important or that we don't matter. The fact that we are human as well makes it all the more stressful because as humans, we go through the motions, the ups and downs. What makes it even more difficult is the realization that life treats us like we aren't important, yet as empaths, we are very important to the grand scheme of things.

Thanks Harris.

Nocturne's Angel
@nocturnes-angel
4 years ago
867 posts

Are we related? Seriously we might be.

This is why I send gifts and allow my answering machine & voice mail to pick up those type of calls.

I then return the calls when I find the time.

I end up getting talked about, but in all honesty, it has taken a huge weight from my shoulders and those people are still in "Martyr & Victim Mode" & Always Will Be, I just choose to remove myself from the drama even though 3 of them happen to be related to me.

My Aunt actually tells anyone who will listen how I don't answer her calls, which I don't.

She has managed to lose friends, family, etc.

She doesn't care, everyone owes her because she's the older relative & we have to do whatever she says.

I love her dearly, I liked her much better when she lived in another state & I hadn't seen or heard from her except over the phone on occasion for 30 years but that's another story.

Huggs & Love,

Josette

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
4 years ago
794 posts

He's older and is usually the one who sees things from a logical and reasonable standpoint but I notice sometimes that he can seem as weird as everybody else does regarding issues like this where he's telling people that he's concerned cuz he hasn't heard from me. I myself see everything and can often provide a lot of detail in what was done and said so I can let that person know that this is what was done/said the last time we spoke. Last time I spoke to him, I was replying to his text that asked if I got home ok(the day I got in from vacation) I let him know that I was on the Greyhound back home and he didn't respond after that to acknowledge what I told him. Next thing I know, this.

What aggravates me with him especially is the fact that he always cuts me off when I'm talking and I'm not sure he realizes he does that. So if he can't remember what I told him a few weeks ago then he should be listening and not be in such a hurry to say what he has to say before I finish what I have to say. From my viewpoint, him expressing to my sister that he's worried seems a bit odd. That is something one would say if they've been trying to get in contact with you but was unsuccessful.

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
4 years ago
794 posts

Same here. Anytime I get texts or calls like that, I determine whether I need to reply to that person or not and if I don't, it's a big commotion about how I'm ignoring them. I don't like the drama and I wish to stay away from that. I don't understand what is so difficult to understand. I'm tired of being told how I need to be or how I should be. They want me to change how I am to better suit them instead of just accepting that this is how I am. This is what causes tension and results in me pushing them away to get away from the drama.

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
4 years ago
794 posts

I just got his reply and he said he's been pretty busy with work. So I don't see the need for all this drama being created when he himself is going through the same thing. I just would like to know why they tend to be hurt or concerned when I do it but when they do it, it's not that big a deal. I guess I'll never know.

Retrogirl
@retrogirl
4 years ago
317 posts

People do love drama! LOL! I think that we unintentionally send out mixed messages to "normal" people, and they're reacting to us as if we were normal, but we're not! Like, I would often have anxiety about speaking up, and people would interpret that as me lying, which couldn't have been further from the truth! I've noticed that it doesn't matter what you say, there's always an underlying energy that accompanies communication, and if you were a "normal" person, the energy you're expressing would mean something different than it does coming from an empath. So, we're basically misunderstood because people don't hear our words no matter how many times or how loudly you say it!! Their intentions are good because if you were a normal person, that's probably an appropriate reaction, it's just frustrating as hell.

Zeca
@zeca
4 years ago
116 posts

It does sound like a bunch of knee jerk yammering and drama. But I think while they do love you, they are caught in some silly looping chat with each other, that they aren't thinking clearly enough to get out of. I think their expression of worry is in fact inclusive and nice. It means you are on their mind, in their hearts, even if they can't find their way out of an unproductive drama that really has little to do with any sort of reality. Communicate as you do, and try not to worry about the overhead chitchat. I find I can be prey to that too. Like I take things way to literally sometimes and I become confused when people say they want to get together, and then don't answer my emails. And I think at the moment of saying that, they really do want to make something happen, but the moment you are not standing there and they no longer feel the social need to make arrangements, their priorities revert back to where they were before you showed up. And lol, I know this because I've done it on occasion myself, so I don't get very bent when it happens to me. And yet, I still sometimes come out confused due to their enthusiasm when we talked...

I am actually pretty bad with phone calls. In part because my life is not so exciting most of the time and I can feel the boredom on the other end of the line. And I wouldn't share it, but people keep calling and wanting to chat, when I have very little to say.

So, don't take the worry literally. Take it as love with the wrong words, but good intent. And carry on being you. It sounds like you communicate plenty, but maybe I am not a good judge, cause most people have learned they have to call me. That or my very infrequent need to chat just doesn't come often enough to suit them. Good luck Jonny. Honest communication can be so damned tricky.

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