I know many people here can identify with what I'm about to say. People may not like to keep in contact with us on a regular basis except to discuss themselves or to talk about an issue they dunno that they are coming to you for advice on, but being that guy or girl that's special and brings a smile to many people's faces can be overwhelming! I often ask myself, "why do these people like me so much? I'm just being myself." At work, at school, at home, I can't escape having that feeling like I am a celebrity and I'm constantly in the spotlight. I don't like the attention and it's getting to the point where I need a break from the people I see everyday because their constant need to have me around is sapping me dry. I do volunteer work at a local place in Eugene that the entire city knows about. I do a lot for many people. Many customers know my face, the staff and volunteers know me and love me. In a conversation with another volunteer I had the other day, I was discussing my roommate's daughter and how I know she doesn't like me(the feeling is mutual) and my friend asks me "How can anyone hate you? You're the nicest person I know."
I replied, "I ask myself the same question everyday." It's that reaction that an empath can bring outta people, that "you're the nicest person I know." Half the time I don't know I'm being nice. I'm just being myself. There are tons of nice people in the world who aren't empaths. Just why do they make it seem like I'm a God on earth? it's a super overwhelming feeling and most of the time, I just wanna blend in. I don't want to be that guy that people go to, I don't want to have attention drawn to myself. I just wanna be. That's all. No more, no less. It's very confusing to be treated like this while also being ignored, used, abused. etc. How can something be hot and cold, liked and disliked the way an empath can?
Light and energy is some powerful stuff. I am always inquisitive. I need to know who, what, where, when, why and how. Why do they feel our different energy? What does it feel like to them? Why can't I feel it the way they can? Why can't I see the energy I'm giving off that others can feel as if it's right in front of them? I have many questions but no answers. Being an empath is a gift because I know we can do what's needed to help the world in whatever way, but the curse of it all are the consequences of being an empath. Being treated so weird. In my logical brain, I'm just being myself. I don't see it as being special. I thought everyone was taught to be this way. When i came back from my weeklong vacation, you'd think I was in the hospital for like 3 months. The reactions to my return were astounding. "We missed you." "It was lonely without you." "Oh hi, let's get back to work." I just don't like that constant spotlight to be on me. I treat my volunteer work like it's my career. Whether they need me or not, I'm there 3 days a week, every week. Now I'm just so burnt out that I feel like calling out sick for the next week. I just need alone time. away from people. I can't think or focus cuz I feel so overwhelmed by it all.
updated by @the-importance-of-being-jonny: 09/04/18 02:18:53AM