Being treated like a celebrity at times

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The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
4 years ago
794 posts

I know many people here can identify with what I'm about to say. People may not like to keep in contact with us on a regular basis except to discuss themselves or to talk about an issue they dunno that they are coming to you for advice on, but being that guy or girl that's special and brings a smile to many people's faces can be overwhelming! I often ask myself, "why do these people like me so much? I'm just being myself." At work, at school, at home, I can't escape having that feeling like I am a celebrity and I'm constantly in the spotlight. I don't like the attention and it's getting to the point where I need a break from the people I see everyday because their constant need to have me around is sapping me dry. I do volunteer work at a local place in Eugene that the entire city knows about. I do a lot for many people. Many customers know my face, the staff and volunteers know me and love me. In a conversation with another volunteer I had the other day, I was discussing my roommate's daughter and how I know she doesn't like me(the feeling is mutual) and my friend asks me "How can anyone hate you? You're the nicest person I know."

I replied, "I ask myself the same question everyday." It's that reaction that an empath can bring outta people, that "you're the nicest person I know." Half the time I don't know I'm being nice. I'm just being myself. There are tons of nice people in the world who aren't empaths. Just why do they make it seem like I'm a God on earth? it's a super overwhelming feeling and most of the time, I just wanna blend in. I don't want to be that guy that people go to, I don't want to have attention drawn to myself. I just wanna be. That's all. No more, no less. It's very confusing to be treated like this while also being ignored, used, abused. etc. How can something be hot and cold, liked and disliked the way an empath can?

Light and energy is some powerful stuff. I am always inquisitive. I need to know who, what, where, when, why and how. Why do they feel our different energy? What does it feel like to them? Why can't I feel it the way they can? Why can't I see the energy I'm giving off that others can feel as if it's right in front of them? I have many questions but no answers. Being an empath is a gift because I know we can do what's needed to help the world in whatever way, but the curse of it all are the consequences of being an empath. Being treated so weird. In my logical brain, I'm just being myself. I don't see it as being special. I thought everyone was taught to be this way. When i came back from my weeklong vacation, you'd think I was in the hospital for like 3 months. The reactions to my return were astounding. "We missed you." "It was lonely without you." "Oh hi, let's get back to work." I just don't like that constant spotlight to be on me. I treat my volunteer work like it's my career. Whether they need me or not, I'm there 3 days a week, every week. Now I'm just so burnt out that I feel like calling out sick for the next week. I just need alone time. away from people. I can't think or focus cuz I feel so overwhelmed by it all.


updated by @the-importance-of-being-jonny: 05/11/17 11:14:07AM
Nea
@nea
4 years ago
201 posts

Haha, it's funny because I kinda get the opposite reaction from people - sure they notice me, but they seem to be intimidated more than anything else. I think it's because I block most people out - the people I do open up to I get a reaction similar to what you get, but it's very few people. I'd love to be able to control it, because I love being a help to people - wouldn't it be great if we could swap some of our energy? LOL! :D I do relate to not understanding what they feel about me - it's like there's an elephant in the room that is invisible to only me.

Roxanne
@roxanne
4 years ago
1,562 posts

I believe everything that happens in our life is happening so that we can develop the mental/emotional and spiritual ability to cope with it. Whatever it is. Perhaps your best bet is to embrace it and just let it be. Just keep being yourself.
If you're worried about letting people down by not being able to maintain that blessed image they project onto you that is you putting pressure on yourself. Again, I repeat, just be yourself. We are all human. We all have high days and low days. All you really have to stay focused on is putting one foot in front of the other and move forward. Everyday. Keep moving forward. -- When I feel like blending in or withdrawing, I do...with love and with kindness. No apologies. You have the right to place yourself where you are most comfortable. People will decide if they like me or not...I have no power over that. All we can do is learn to cope best with whatever comes our way.

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
4 years ago
794 posts

I try Roxanne. I really do. It's just with life being so difficult as it is sometimes, the way I'm treated just amplifies that, because I'm always the one. The one they seek, the one they rely on. Many days I wish to just be without having the attention on me. Believe it or not, I came up with a list of 8 rules and guidelines to help me live a little more comfortable being who i am. My guideline is a couple of months old and so far I haven't done well in following those guidelines, all except taking solitude when I wish to without explanations.

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
4 years ago
794 posts

I get that too. A lot of people seem to be intimidated by me and I don't know why.

Roxanne
@roxanne
4 years ago
1,562 posts

I love that you stay focused on your volunteer work. That is certainly putting one foot in front of the other. I use to struggle thinking I was suppose to keep people happy, make them laugh. Meet a certain expectation as *bringer of sunshine and laughter* . Then one day I realized I was doing that to myself. I was repeating a cycle of behavior that began with my parents. And I was putting that pressure on myself. So I resigned as the *unsolicited entertainment*. -- I learned to step back a little from my empathetic nature and slip into the role of humble observer ... to just *be*. -- I feel a lot healthier mentally/emotionally even spiritually since I took that pressure off myself. So I know what you mean. Humility is a lovely cloak of invisibility to wrap oneself up in.
I wish you mucho luck, Jonny.

B
@b
4 years ago
252 posts
Just last night I was at a cook out with a bunch of strangers a lady was watching me watch people and commented to me about it strange
The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
4 years ago
794 posts

She mentioned something about you watching people?

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
4 years ago
794 posts

I'm realizing it is ok to have me time, but other people don't like that which is crazy and actually funny. I've fought with my sister out here time and time again who seems to have issues with the fact I wish to be left alone. It led to a confrontation initiated by her that made me feel attacked and it did not end well.

...to be continued.

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
4 years ago
794 posts

Thanks Roxanne

Zeca
@zeca
4 years ago
116 posts

Take your week of solitude, Jonny, the world can handle it. Irritable empaths are not a favor. Love you, and rest dammit.

And I think we come off far more confidant than we feel, somehow... we kinda know what we want, what is simple and good and don't beat around the bush. Occasionally I feel I just make decisions, cause they make sense, but I don't always wait for people's thoughts to reach their mouths, and so I think they think they didn't have a say, even though I was pretty sure we were on the same page to begin with. I try to back off, but I get impatient with long verbal trades when I already know the gist. Then I wonder how people put up with me... but they do, regardless of how much time I insist on hiding.

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
4 years ago
794 posts

Thanks Nancy.

Leslie
@leslie
4 years ago
14 posts

173_discussions.jpg?width=200This is stuck on the wall at work. I'm not a celebrity, but I'm the "listener". Exhausting!

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
4 years ago
794 posts

Exactly. The celebrity aspect of being an empath makes me very uncomfortable because I feel like people like me because of my energy and not so much for me. However, I've been in arguments before with family who kept thinking of themselves and didn't bother thinking of me and what I go through. The only way I can find a balance is if I take my solitude away from people every few weeks so that I won't be overwhelmed by them when I am in public.

I'll give you an example. After vacation, the day I got back I also had to go into work. I also am an artist and had to start on two commission almost immediately after vacation, so I was stressed and after I worked on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, I told them I had to take a week off to get work done. That was part of the reason, the other reason was everyone was so glad to have me back and I just didn't wanna be around all the elation about my return as if I was away for a couple months. I was only gone a week. Half of me is happy that they love me the way they do, the other half of me is annoyed cuz I feel like it's almost not real. Not saying how they feel is fake, but it seems forced. Anyway, I'm rambling. I took my additional week off and the following thursday, I ran into my boss who asked if I could cover for her and close the store on Friday cuz she wasn't feeling well. She mentioned it's so stressful without me there. I can't even take a break from them without hearing how they have missed me or how they rely on me. But I have to do what's best for me without explanations. You either understand or you don't. I cant make them understand. But at the same time, they can't get mad at me if I wish to be left alone. Which in that case, it was my sister who I've explained things to countless times, she doesn't understand yet gets mad that I want to be left alone.

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