Hi Alison,a fewyears ago on here I came across a battleaxe who's motto was First Faith, Then Me, Then You. I say battleaxe but this is a term of endearmentfor a wise woman.
Is it possible for you to apply this to your situation? It isn''t selfish to put yourself before others maybe try centering a few things so that you are doing more stuff for you and not "suffering" because you put them first. A nice easy one to try is get up get washed and dressed for you, this sounds silly but get up at a time of your choosing, dress because it is your day if you want to have a pyjama day... have one lol. Try not to have two or three in a week but it's up to you HA HA HA HA HA HA Don't dress for the hospital, aunty Mable, doing next doors garden just dress for you. If you want to have breakfast eat because you want to not because it is expected, as long as you are sensible with your food then all is good.
We all carry the burden of responsibility but not all of us make responsibility our purpose.
I hope this helps, sending healing and love to you and yours.