My name is Alison and I'm new here. Sorry not to introduce myself properly but I'm having a bit of a tough time and need a bit of help.
I suffer with chronic fatigue syndrome which I suspect has some to connection to being an empath. The main way that empathy affects me is that if anyone is in trouble, I'm there. I just really want to help...I have a picture of me literally giving my energy to them. Over the last few years, I've learnt to stop doing this mainly by being aware that I can't help everyone and pulling back from situations.
Obviously this is much easier to do with people you're not heavily involved with emotionally. It's much harder with family. Because of the CFS, I've become quite isolated and rely heavily on my family and I worry about them. Again because of the CFS, I'm quite health aware so I try to do things like getting them to eat more healthily and then when they don't, I feel responsible.
My problem is that my Mum has just been in hospital with heart problems. They fixed her up and sent her home but she's been unwell this morning so they've just taken her back in in an ambulance.She's been unwell for quite awhile now and I've encouraged her to try various things to improve her health(I'm not an expert but I've learned a lot through my own experiences) but, for various reasons, she doesn't and it makes me feel guilty.
Basically I feel responsible for the health of those close to me. Why??? I'm confused by empathy because I'm not really aware of taking on other people's feelings like sadness or happiness. Instead I seem to hone in on suffering. I just hate to think of anyone in pain or suffering and I just want to help. Can anyone explain how this works? Perhaps if I can understand why I feel so guilty if will help me to deal with it all. It's as though it's my job to make people feel better and I feel bad because I'm unable to do it properly.
I know I'm not responsible for anybody's health or life but my own. I understand that my Mum is her own person and is entitled to make her own decisionsbut I care so much about herthat I'm finding it difficult to be rational. Does anyone else identify withthis?
I've been trying to build myself up energetically lately with my limited resources through yoga and meditation and I know all this worry is not helping me or Mum. One thing that does strike me is that whilst she's in the hospital, even though I miss her my sense of responsibility is relieved somewhat because somebody else is looking after her.
Thanks for reading
PS I am praying for my Mum. If anyone else feels like saying a prayer for her, I'd be very grateful. Thanks.
updated by @alison: 05/15/17 12:21:38PM