So why would empathy diminish?

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Kate
@kate
4 years ago
131 posts

Ok, I give up. I simply don't know how to interpret this anymore. I'll tell why I'm so concerned about a seemingly unimportant decision and I so hope someone can give me an explanation of what is happening... I mean, are these kind of thoughts/experience common among empaths?

I. So I started going through some strange things and year ago. Headaches, changes in how I perceive the world, like everything became more full of life and people were actualy there. I started to sense things, to become more sensible to those around me... I started feeling lonely again, and very bored. I thought it was because of the class I was in (28 girls, 2 boys...), I thought I was going nuts like 2 of my teachers who instead of doing their job took their time to actually tell us how to create and sense energy balls, the power of precious stones, etc... and there were many classmates who actually listened carefully every time and believed in everything.

So yeah, I freaked out, and decided to move to another class.

II. As I saw later, the "teachings" made their way to my head, in spite of my resistance. For the first time I actually admitted to myself that such things are real and I shouldn't crush my intuition and out-of-nowhere thougts about events and the world around in a corner of my mind anymore. Little by little I started to become so much warmer to the people around, I started to love crowds, although I knew that after intense socialising I needed some time to refresh my heada nd recharge my batteries.

With the good position won among my classmates, I guess I became what one could call a people's person. I finally learned how to control everything so as not to become overhelmed, for teh first time I got rid of fear, my head started to become lighter, I could speak easily... then there came the premonitions, and ability to guess things, discover the lies and one's true intent. I didn't have car/airplane/subay sickness anymore, as I discovered a way of thinking that would prevent that (somehow like visualising the energy circulating from bottom-up). Then I discovered how I could "collect" energy from those around me so as to have more energy, I discovered the power of thoughts, how I could influence one's behaviour right away by directing positive/negative thoughts to him/her. Of course i was a little too proud to use it carelessly, as I saw that there were some people who could somehow detect such "works"... I learned how to be persuasive, went to a lot of gatherings and clubs and I everything was going so well that I decided to move, to "improve" myself.

Oh dear, bad move!

III. Even though I had one beautiful summer holiday, ever since I started school I watched my powers being drawn away. Not only that the psychological tricks were good for nothing among my new classmates who are the most cynical and realist people ever, but I went in there too opened: sensed so much fear, everyone's thoughts about me, be them good or bad, so many new things that overwhelmed me. I didn't want to close again though, and the "wall trick" prevented me to fully "play". It was too good being sensible to everybody around me... it was like i was walking on the safest path ever. I felt like even on street in another city, I somehow had the knowledge to do the right thing and avoid the negativity. But I got overwhelmed by this unexplainable fear. I tried meditation, grounding, going to a psychologist to understand what was happening, maybe it was just my imagination... at first it worked, but after a while, the feeling only got worse. Then I felt like somebody as absorbing my energy every time my brain would get the "good" idea of analysing the situation I got myself into at school... having to build a new status among everyone and the teachers... and this crazy thing about chakras, the meditation that i felt I had to do like there was a countdown or something! Not to mention my daily obligations as a child/sister/student/friend... which I ultimately started to ignore after being so concerned that I ill loose my newly discovered abilities!

My daily premonitions about small but sure things started to become much more infrequent and my sensibility to the people around diminished. I started to become less confident, less persuasive, in fewer words, my empathy decreased so much that right now I'm questioning myself henever everything was an illusion or not: fortunately I actually wrote a dairy with my "premonitions" and weekly thoughts... (Oh, the shock when my mother found it! lol)

And now I seriously want to move back to my old class again.

So I'm asking for an advice: is it safe to make such a decision under the influence of fear? (yes, the subjects taught differ, but the choice for college won't be affected) I know a LOT of what happened is determined by the way I THINK, but there's also some bad influence coming from outside and I'm really afraid of loosing my empathy and there's this thing that i can't apply it at school anymore because my classmates respond to it in a very strange and annoying way. Well most of them, but it's enought ;))

Is it possible to lose your empathy by the way, and do you know any tricks that don't have any connection with meditation to help me reach my full potential?


updated by @kate: 01/09/17 04:10:23AM
Kate
@kate
4 years ago
131 posts

Indeed, in my case, the quote saying that you don't realize what you have until it's gone applies very well... I laughed at them for 2 years and then I had the courage to admit it and things happened... and I realised that even though it wasn't such an "edenic" place as we had (as a class) our problems and liers and drama-queens, there was this sideI couldn't seeuntil I moved and lost the comfort. (due to stupid reasons, Goddd, but who could have guessed that I would become so interested about empathy and actually experience it...!)

Indeed, fear blocks many things. I guess the thing we fear it's fear itself. Mindblowing :))

But really, I'm worried. I want to believe that my empathy won't go away/turn off. I began to like it. And I require so much from myself... good grades, many friends, lots of activities, home early, responsible child AND internal balance. I'm looking forward to tomorrow's Reiki course, but really, I wish I could tell more people about it and about the "secrets" that seem so off to some but actually work and are real ...

Anyway, I really appreciate every answer, vicky. The best is when you have people around that think the same way as you.

I would sooo like to hear how many people here actually had premonitions/syncronicities/mind reading episodes and feared loosing their empathy and what they've done to stop something llike that from happening! :D

Peter
@peter
4 years ago
18 posts

sounds like you discovered a machine gun, went out and fired a few thousand rounds and got a headache from the boom. Its cool, shielding is a skill not a tool or weapon. Too much and we feel isolated too little and we are overwhelmed. AND it varies from empath to person to situation.....hence the skill thats needed. Skillful with crowds? Cool....skillful with intimacy and others?....Skillful with the unknown?......takes time, and life expereince to fill your quiver. Adn no you can lose your empathy, you might box it up and put it on the shelf for a bit, but lose it, haha.....nope ain't gonna happen unless its what YOU want.Relax develope your shielding better and I am betting you'll be a bright star on your own horizon again.

Kate
@kate
4 years ago
131 posts

I hope so... but ALL THE ENTIRE winter holiday I was pressed by one thing "Should I MOVE, or not?" but after that, I would remember that everybody else said I shouldn't, and I would just regain my calm and comfort zone by thinking that I can still move back to my previous class...

but Monday I found out that the deadline for submission is over. And even if I tried to convience myself that the decision I took was good I couldn't help but feel really bad about it. Like, really bad.

And the reason why I'm chasing my own tail and writing this story over and over again is because I had this kind of feelings before... you know, stomach tightness, before something not that good actually happened. I'm worried.

After 2 years of having my own class as the source of power, now if I wake up and let my mind even a LITTLE think about the class I moved too, I would start crying, and my head will hurt and I'll get some stomach aches too. It's just horrible trying to calm myself down, affecting those around me too, but I CAN"T< IT"S LIKE something is screaming inside me and struggling and oh my god I don't know what to do this is too painfull... I can't get that inner peace back at all. I repeat, it's like I've broken a promise with my own self! Like a biiig delay in my development is coming.And it's never easy knowing you're an empath and the inner feelings and thoughts you get usually prove to be true... this is the hardest part! Again, I'm worried! Has no one experienced something like that?

I can't understand from where is all this grief and sadness coming. It's unusal, I never had it, and I should never have.... GOD WHY DIDN"T I MOVEBACK??

Peter
@peter
4 years ago
18 posts

Cmon Kate....take a breath. Your description sounds like an anxiety attack. I used to have them all the time. Decisions and choices cant really be taken back just redirected...its a flow concept. As I got older I realized my anxiety attack moments ( caused by regrets about perceived poor decisions) were totally manageable by mastering my shielding. Maybe what you are feling isn't all internal, if your shields are off it may be external and just unregognizable to you right now. Refocus your worry towards understanding, be alert, explore what you feel don't just get caught up in it, This may be hard but its better than replaying the story over and over. do the things you love for a bit, be good to you..this WILL pass.

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