Lately, I've been going through so many happenings that I started to question my sanity. It's not like I've always been like that: until 2 years ago, I didn't even know what "empath" meaned and I couldn't care less. But at one point while being with my boyfriend I started... feeling more. Or better said, hearing more. Like I could be "connected" to other people that had their minds "unshielded" (as I call it, because I find it impossible to talk to some people that seem to be hiding in their thoughts, somewhere far, in fear or anxiety)
I didn't know what it was at that time. I just let it develop, thinking eveybody was like that anyway. I soon started to realize that I've become much more aware of my surroundings. I can be walking in the park, or be at school, and simply knowing if someone is about to walk towards me from the corner or if people are thinking about positive or negative things.
Some things also happened this summer holiday: real episodes of syncornicity between me and my friends and parents (I even "predicted" weather 3 time or so... ) and I dicovered I can influence people a lot with my thoughts and detect lies (one reason I like playing cards whenever I'm with my friends and we have the occasion... I win a lot :D)
I may also get warning thoughts out of nowhere: like I suddenly don't feel the reason to go to a certain place or shop, and finding out later that something happened there or the shop closed.
But the most intriguing one so far: I'm getting a lot of feelings about people and animals. With animals... well, everything is ok. But when it comes to "humans"... oh dear, it's like a hurricane messes everything in my head. I can't concentrate on my own thoughts, I get lost in impressions, I may suddenly feel overwhelmed with joy, fear or anxiety, and I feel a lot of pressure on my head and I'm getting a lot of head aches. I get sad and cry all of a sudden, and then, when I feel my heart gets lighter, I think at least "Am I crazy or what? Why was I sad? My problems aren't THAT big..." (I was talking with a friend that had been going through a hard experience when I suddenly felt overwhelmed again and started crying! It was funny though, I didn't know how to explain it, so I used the "my boyfriend dumped me" line and I eventuall calmed down ) )
But this year, I had to transfer to class with better professors. And it became... horrible, after the first month passed. I felt so much pressure, and had a feeling of being drained out, that at one point, during the night while I was lying in bed and having another headache, I felt like something closed. Out of a sudden. And my head became quiet. I didn't even relize how many thoughts I had in my head until then. But an immense fear overwhelmed me. I didn't like that feeling at all, even though my headache dissapeared: it was like I became blind. I couldn't analyse if my brother was asleep or not, nor if my parents were awake... it's just like it was me again, but ONLY me.
I'm scared I may have closed my "intuition". The next day, I had the same feeling: loneliness, to much quiet, "surrounding-blind" like feeling. I couldn't "sense" anymore. And I still have 2 scartches from that day, because I kept bumping into people.
I told a part of what is happening to me to my mother and I decided to go to a psychologist. I don't feel like she's helping a lot though, even if it was such a relief to me to discuss SOMEof the things that happened with somebody else, even though I hid the real "reason" and "feelings" under the mask of social anxiety... I know it isn't that. But I can't tell her my REAl feelings yet. I'm afraid she'll bump into the wrong onclusion, and I wouldn't blame her.
I would have never believed in these kind of things... if it wasn't for that one day.
I'm only 16 years old and I had a perfectly normal life. I don't understand why this is happening to me. I've made another topic, but I feel like in this one I am more coherent (also, sorry for my english, it's not my first language and I'm still learning it )
My questions are: Are these the signs of a potential empath? Should I be worried? It is possible to close this "power" if it gets overwhelming, like I suspect I did (but I became scared because I felt so unaware and "blind")? How can I control this? Is it because of the 2012 thing?
All I can say, my life-path twisted in a way I could have never anticipated... but what the h***, I'm only 16! and everything indicates a healthy mind, apart from the things above (family with money, happiness, friends, boyfriend, travelled a lot, good school grades, future plans and all)!!
updated by @kate: 09/01/18 07:49:32PM