Hi, EC. It's been a while.
When it came to being an empath, I always dealt with feelings of nervousness and agitation around people. It made me not want to be out in crowds. Uneasiness, sweating, discomfort. I live in NYC so I always encounter crowding wherever I go. The noise of the city I am used to as well. Fire engines, sirens, although they are loud and hurt my ears, I don't go crazy from hearing it.
This year I've been battling a squatter who has taken up residence in the far end corner of a parking lot that is adjacent to my building. For years, I'd heard loud music, but thought it was coming from someone who was playing music from their car with their windows open. When i went back there to see what is going on, I saw how he's living out of a tent he set up and he's made the entire place his home.
He is very rude and inconsiderate. Blaring music whenever he feels like it for himself or 2-3 more people. This noise has gone on as late as 3am and he doesn't have an ounce of respect or consideration for the surrounding neighbors. I dunno who he is, why he's there, but I do know he's got a lot of nerve. The blaring music lately has been echoing in my head, sounding like it's right outside my window, on my window sill even though it's several hundred feet from where I am. I can hear it so close and because I have sensitive hearing, it makes for a chaotic experience which leaves me feeling like I am going insane. A feeling I don't like to go through.
Tonight he was at it again, I had to be somewhere and told him to turn it down around 10pm. He told me it's not going to happen. I was extraordinarily pissed off and again, those questions went through my head. "Who the hell are you? Why are you here?" Because of him, I've grown to dislike human beings in general. This kind of behavior I seemingly see everywhere. Everyone only cares about themselves, no one has common courtesy anymore. I do not feel human so I don't claim to be human. So while I feel like I am literally going insane with music pumping in my head, no one wishes to get involved in my cause to get this guy gone and fast. Everything I could do to get this man removed from where he should not be has failed simply because no one cares enough to help me and it makes me wonder what kind of world I am living in.
I feel my senses are growing sharper. Music, noise and all sorts of annoying sounds have never bothered me but this is the start to something that i feel is only gonna get worse and I don't know how to handle it when I seemingly have no choice but to be forced to endure his blaring music. I wish it were as simple as meditating, but it doesn't help. It's like a dentist drill inside my head and my sister today wondered why I was so mad. I've told her I am an empath but i don't think she GETS how bad sensitivity can be for one who is empathic.
I'm going to try to get back to sleep. I woke up early because I went to bed early to avoid hearing music all night.
updated by @the-importance-of-being-jonny: 09/01/18 03:44:53PM