unable to describe

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Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

Since I became aware of the concept of Empathy, I naturally have started to analyze what I feel and sense around me, and it has struck me that even though I have a keen sense of who is feeling lots of emotions around me, and I sense so much in general, my understanding of what I am sensing is limited somehow. It's hard for me to explain.

I can sense someone's energy, and I can recall the 'imprint' later and reproduce it perfectly in my mind, how they felt and what how made me feel inside. But I can't put words on it. It's frustrating because I know I need to write things down to learn about myself, and especially to get to know my feelings, but I don't know what the words are. Most of the time all I can describe what I feel is 'lots of emotions', with no specifics.

It's not very helpful, needless to say. Could my impairment mean I haven't actually learned what these emotions are? I thought I had a keen sense about what emotions are, I mean I know what sad, happy, angry etc. all are. Right? At times, everything feel like a blur, to the point where I question if I am an Empath at all. What is the point of feeling overwhelmed if I can't distinguish my own 'blur' from another's, if I can't describe it with words?

Sometimes it does seem like I have a clue what is going on, but I don't know how I do it. I think I'm a natural shielder, but I can't tell if I have any control over it or not. I feel like a 5 year old trying to drive a car.

What do you guys think, do I need to learn about emotions, or do you have any idea what is going on?


updated by @nea: 05/08/17 12:00:54PM
Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

Thanks for your 'ramblings' - I will check out the book. :)

Also, I think I too sometimes are confusing thoughts and feelings.

Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

Thank you! Yes, it helps alot. I guess it's like writing a map or having some sort of point of reference. But it's hard because I don't talk about emotions with other people much - not in that way.

I think the hardest thing about thinking it's all in my head is that I do have a very active imagination, and what I imagine do seem very real, as if I am experiencing it. The same thing that makes reading a book so enjoyable, also confuses the heck out of me. Example: I was playing a game online, and this guy was trying to 'add me' and I ignored him, because I don't add random people, and I said so. I kept feeling this aggressiveness from him, and I thought it was because he was angry or something, and I even asked why he was angry, but he denied it and said he only wanted to 'add me' and soon left after that. Part of me wonders if I'm just imagining it, or even projecting my own fear of angering someone onto the situation - but why would I do that? I can't tell if it would add up or not.

I realize emotions are complicated, especially to 'read', though. Would this analogy fit: that it's like trying to read several layers of text written on transparent paper that lies on top of each other - the words are all scrambled.

Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

Yeah, but with the situation with the guy, I don't really know if I am projecting or not - I can't tell. I simply can't tell. And that freaks me out sometimes, if I really think about it. I know I am probably over analyzing, but what do you do, when everything is so confusing. I am very sensitive also, and I think I've learned to shut things down over the years. I hardly ever show any upsetting emotions to anyone else anymore. Lately I have started to do it a bit, purely out of selfishness, but I still have trouble letting things out, at least in public, even to my mom. I wonder if I'm emotionally impaired, that I'm intuitively shielding in some way that isn't helping my situation. Problem is, as with most of these things, I really can't tell, you know?

Bing
@bing
5 years ago
548 posts

Hi Nea

You may wish to try using a thesaurus to look up similar words to the ones you are presently using. It is similar to using a painters wheel. This way you can get shades of words. It is similar to saying robin egg blue instead of just blue. Also you may wish to describe the emotions in color. We empaths can understand what you mean when you say something like the emotion was like a sand yellow or it was like pastel green. We can "feel" the color. People who have synesthesia see sound in colors and some can taste words. Just a thought.

Throw some love into the wind.

Bing

Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

That's a great idea - I will try it. :)

Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

Thanks! I will definitely check it out - it sounds interesting.

Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

Can you elaborate?

Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

Sounds interesting - I now have 3 books I'm gonna check out. :)

Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

What could it trigger?

Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

Thanks, I appreciate it. I will be mindful of it. :) <3

Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

Kari, you are right, I have been aware for a while now that I need to get in tune with what is me and my own feelings, but since I am lousy at meditating (although I probably will get better at it), and I don't really know what to look or even start looking, I think books might help me on the way tbh. Being aware of your own emotions is really hard when everything is just a confusing jumble of energy and unknown language. I need to get my bearings, just to be able to tell what is what, so I can be aware of my own emotions.

Thank you though for your post. :)

Deborah, my own inability to describe my inner world might be because of confusion, but I can relate to what you are saying somehow, and I feel as if these books might give me at least ideas what to do about it. Thanks for your posts, too. <3

Nea

Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

Thanks for posting, it's good to know I'm not alone in the experience of trying to understand other people, in that sense.

I think my imagination is both a good thing, but also a challenge, because it's part of why I have trouble trusting my instincts, and for good reason. But I think it's a great insight you have there.

Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

Yeah, good point.

Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

Honestly, I try, and I am a very analytical person. :P It just seems like 'me' is buried somewhere deep and it will take a while for me to get there, and I don't really know how, you know?

Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

I will try. :)

Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

Good to know there might be something that will help. :) And I like reading.

Nea
@nea
5 years ago
201 posts

Yeah, I too have stuff hanging over me for hours sometimes, even days if I'm unlucky. Sometimes it's just confusing, but I can definitely tell most of the time if it's good or bad. Maybe starting to categorize more what I actually sense, like you do, will help. :) I do get a sense from who it could be coming from, if it's people I know, otherwise its harder. Thanks for sharing your experience. :)

Nea

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