Johnny, the things that haunt me the most are the things I have not yet resolved within myself. In examining this side of my nature I go into quiet *internal focusing* session. During a focus session you listen to your body...not your mind. You concentrate solely on where pain or discomfort exists. You do nothing else. But as you practice this technique you may be surprised to see how many *answers* rise to the surface of your consciousness while you are focusing on your physical state.
What I find more times than not is that the grudges I hold onto are ego based, and so they haunt me because my ego clings to them looking for resolution where there will be none. So it's up to me to expell these little nagging memories.How do you do that. Well first you have to resolve NOT to let your ego run your life. (Not saying you are, just sharing my own reflections and self examinations). Also,
I COMPLETELY agree with the others as well. Self forgiveness can be hard to master. I always try to break through habitual thinking by imagining that a child I love *my daughter for instance* did the same thing I keep beating myself up over -- could I forgive my daughter?? Of course. And wouldn't you do anything to teach a child that you love that dwelling on things we can't *undo* is wasting LIFE.
so why are we always so much harder on our own inner child.Why when we can be so kind to others are we so hard on ourselves.
Self forgiveness and attention to *ego gone wild* has always been my first approach to self healing.I am sorry about the painful loss of a friendships. That is a grief that takes time to move on from. Deaths of friendships can be akin to the death of a loved one. The loss is very painful and must be acknowledged. But don't let it impact your self esteem. It's impossible to please all of the people all of the time. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. (That's another thing we tend to do to ourselves. When friendships or relationships go bad we try to figure out *what we did wrong*. Sometimes we didn't do ANYTHING wrong. It just didn't work out. Look forward to the next opportunity, who knows you may meet someone who totally *gets* you. It can happen. And while you're waiting just keep doing beautiful things for people. It keeps you from getting stuck in your own head.
I wish you well!