Am I being gaslighted?

Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
2 weeks ago
175 posts

I'm still not exactly sure what that means. All I know is that my wife does things no one in their right mind would do, and she will not stop no matter what I say to her. It's as if she can't help it, yet she is aware of what she is. She may not actually believe she is a narc, but as least, she no longer argues about it. I see her agreeing with me as part of the manipulation. The lies and manipulation have no logic behind it. This puzzle of a person is beyond my understanding. You would think I would know her after 25+ years of being together. I can't figure out what motive she has other than to break my will or drive me away. If you want to know a person, find out what motivates them. It's pretty easy normally, but when it comes to my own wife I can't get my mind around it.

No, she is not in any way a genuine person, although, she does have moments of clarity. She had one last week. I saw her true self for about a minute. Once again, I see this as part of another manipulation. It was a way of making me think there is still hope she can learn to be genuine. It worked for a time. Then I had a conversation with my Aunt. 

My cousin is married to an extreme narc. He has completely withdrawn from her and his family. Being a man of honor, he won't leave her. She has controlled the entire family for years by holding her own children over the heads of their grandparents(My aunt and uncle). She threatens to take them away or simply tells the kids lies that they fully believe. She gives her kids anything and everything they want and breaks their spirits with ridicule. She completely controls them and turns them against the rest of the family and their father. She gets violent! My aunt and I had a very long conversation comparing my wife to her daughter-in-law. They are the same! They do the same things. They think the same way. They are in such denial, they both tell blatant lies that are so transparent EVERYONE knows it's a lie, yet they believe they are fooling us. What arrogance! Well, after five hours at the kitchen table we all came to the conclusion that the main issue is severe insecurity. They are both motivated by the fear of seeing themselves for what they truly are. They can't accept it. My cousin is also an empath. Like my uncle. They are two of the most compassionate men I know. They have both given up trying to help her. 

My wife has caused the death or disappearance of many of my cats. Well, last week I came home to my dog tied to a post choking on a leash she had slipped around his neck. Not a to a collar. The leash was acting like a noose that tightened as he moved. I first heard what sounded like a dying turkey and felt his anguish and confusion. Then I saw what she had done. He had peed on the carpet again. He's old and he can't hold it as long as he use too, so she was punishing him. The reason she gave me for doing this was that she subconsciously didn't want me to go to my brother's funeral. I had hoped she wouldn't try to stop me from going. She did this as I was about to get ready to leave. Can she not understand why we have to go to funerals? I went anyway.  

For years now, I thought I could somehow get through to her. I know now I can't and have given up completely. She reads my email and my posts on this forum. I hope she reads this one.


updated by @zacharias: 04/09/19 12:07:11AM
michelle
@michelle
2 weeks ago
144 posts
@zacharias

I certainly feel for you. The snooping indicates great insecurity but the animal abuse is a red flag and something else.

I deal daily with my son, in certain ways similar. I just don't know what to think of the bizzare changes in him.

I raised him so I can see what he was and it is a great relief when that shines through still.

I can't help but think that he has an unsavory spirit attachment which delights in keeping me off balance and so stressed that it is a herculean effort to keep illness at bay.

Mostly what he attacks/destroys is our home and I dread ever depending on him to take care of the animals if I'm sick.

The change is astounding. He was an empathetic soul and kind...and I'm not just referring to when he was a little boy. Now, he can be a petty tyrant.

What I find is best to deal with him is to stay in control of my emotions [not always easy] and calmly give back what he says he wants. Like go ahead and quit your job, pack your stuff and go live in the woods. Do it now,

Well that silences him immediately. It's like all the huff and puff energy is deflated.

The thing is he likes his job, mostly. He's risen quickly for one his age on pure talent, fairness with his crew and responsibility. He's gotten what he wanted, to be in charge/salary and to do his thing with the food the restaurant sells.

Outside of that environment, he's reckless, doesn't care for people anymore and at home he can be a tyrant, extremely messy and mean. Then sanity hits and I see the real him.

Does your wife ever show times of being reasonable? It seems to me that many people are just going crazy these days. I believe that a great force of negativity has been unbounded in the world and in families.

I guess that your biggest difficulty would be your children if you left. Could you take them with you?
michelle
@michelle
2 weeks ago
144 posts
You might want to read the material on Organic Portals [OP] I posted in robert-caffer's post, Yes My Dad's A Narc!

Here's another on OPs:

http://tinyurl.com/y35ng5k9
TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
2 weeks ago
486 posts
@zacharias I can give you all you need to know gaslighting, I experienced this greatly last year and with an ex fiance. First, I'm really sorry for all this you are going through. To hear about your cats and now the dog, really breaks my heart. Your wife is abusing pets.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation played out by another person to basically test your "sanity" The way these manipulators or narcs do this is few ways. The first and foremost is to convince you of your sanity and to second guess yourself. Which then leads to being confused, not speaking up for yourself, thinking you did wrong, apologizing for things when not your fault. Just to name a few. They tell all kinds of lies as well to keep you in this trap.

Best way to counter this is keep your confidence and vibration high. This is you wife and can call her out on her BS versus a coworker who can go to HR and say you are being discriminated against. Yes, gaslighting narcs can and will do this. Just know what you are right and keep your ground on it. Tying up a poor innocent creature such as an elderly dog for having an accident is not the solution. She could have called the vet. But dont fall for her excuses as to "teach them a lesson" type of thing, or whatever she may say. We all know pets have accidents when something is wrong....
Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
2 weeks ago
175 posts

First of all, thank you for your replies. My wife is a narc, yes, but, she's also my daughters mother. I can't leave her and I can't live with her. I can, however, pray for her and forgive her. I'm well practiced in forgiveness, so I will again. I don't have to deal with her BS anymore. I have taken full control of the house. My daughter is with me on this. She supports me. This fact has raised my vibe to new levels.

It scares me to think she could be a soulless person. I don't want to believe this. I want her with me. I want the connection I asked for 26 years ago. I keep giving up thinking it will never happen and then I try again. I have to. She's all I have. If I left her I would never have a relationship with another woman. I have many female friends. They fill the role that my wife can't. Good enough. 

I have been using her own tactics against her. Except instead of telling lies, I tell her the bitter truth. I stopped holding back to spare her, and she loves me(if she's capable of love) more than ever.  It's that push-pull thing they do. Show them kindness, they use it against you. Show them anger, they back down and want you more. I don't mean uncontrolled outrage. It's more like incredulity mixed with disgust, if that makes sense. This works for me. She isn't very good at being a narc. She just isn't that smart. If she was, she'd be dangerous, yet she has never been violent to me. 

This relationship has actually been very good for me, now that I think about it. It has given me the confidence to fight much harder battles. I had to know without shadow of doubt that I am right. The word "right" is short for righteous, I believe. Being righteous allows me to stand on principle. Tempered with humility, and with God at my side, I can't be moved. I have a power now that can help change the world. I won't be broken. I won't be defeated. I should thank her. 

michelle
@michelle
2 weeks ago
144 posts

@zacharias

I did not mean to imply that your wife was souless. The subject of OPs is complicated. I believe that many humans are psychologically damaged, that it is hard for anyone to escape being damaged to some extent in our world system.

I mentioned earlier [or somewhere else] that OPs are a natural way for a soul becoming. The problem in our world is the large number of psychopaths and sociopaths. They do not fit the definition of insanity; they know right from wrong. They just don't care that they hurt others and never lose any sleep over their wrongdoings. Some never become criminal but some do and many can be found in the halls of government and other institutions, plus we have the heads of corporations which fit the bill too. There is no cure for these people. These are the people that @robert-caffer was referring to who rule our world. A good book to read on this is, "The Mask of Sanity.": http://tinyurl.com/yysgnhtv

The thing with OPs is that they drain our energies, specifically soul energy needed for advancement of the soul or spirit as Tom Montalk defines it. In a perfect world, they would learn from souled beings. In esoteric terms it would be said they steal soul energy, in modern terms it would be said that they mirror soul behavior. This is how I believe they learn and eventually grow a soul in some future lifetime. So it pays for them to grow up in a stable loving environment...something harder and harder to come by these days.

In gnostic teachings, one is warned to avoid 'dancing' with them where one is led into base reactions to their games. However, one can advance soul development through proper treatment of them.

This is know as fusing of the magnetic center which I think you exemplified in your last post. It is the taking of negative energy/emotions and turning them into something positive....like not slipping into base emotions and reactions but rather to firmly mirror truth back to them; exactly what you are doing!

This is know as the 'fire' that fuses the magnetic center which is the fusing of the lower and higher impulses of the soul. That they are fused at the heart chakra. This is my understanding, to the best of my ability.

And that it takes many times, 'in the fire' until one overcomes the sway of the lower centers where the soul and human become one. Not all are up to this. It takes great mental and spiritual fortitude to withstand this. So, for others not up to the task, maybe it is better not to 'dance' with their energies, to avoid being dragged into lower behaviors.

When one is on this path, and is gaining knowledge and soul energy, the system [ie. Matrix] will move to insert many of these people into their life. They are commonly family and friends but also outside influences....maybe those people you interacted with at the music concert?

You are correct in feeling grateful to your wife for such a learning process. I do think that in some cosmic design, OPs or damaged souled people do offer us chances at soul advancement. Thank you Zach for sharing your experience and allowing me to learn through that! 💖

As for my son, I know he is an empath and I feel not gulity, but responsibility towards him. I was well on my path of gaining knowledge and strength when the matrix inserted two incidents exactly one year apart which nearly killed me and definately broke me down. The 1st was a psychopath which terrorized my son and I and eventually abducted, beat and tortured me for a day until I escaped. The 2nd was at a party where I was drugged and raped...at 52 years old!

Welcome ptsd into my life which the medical and mental health systems made much worse. I needed loving kind healing and understanding, not drugs and trying to 'fix' my mind.

Trauma disrupts the endocrine system and understanding that and self treatments thru supplements and holistic other methods is where I won the battle of bringing myself back to some normality.

This has been a most difficult endeavor while dealing with my son's behavior. Family members can develope ptsd by living with one so affected. It is my son's ingestion of alcohol, which he has no tolerance for [a condition he inherited from me] which I believe opened him up to negative spirit attachment. This does not have to be demonic; it can just be some dead dude which prompts and pokes him into certain behaviors.

With a gaining of my health and strength, I, like you, am determined to take back control of my house. One of our dogs is 16 years old and showing signs of the death process. His legs get injured easily...esp. from our younger German Shepard, and does not assimilate his food well...he's very thin like aged people become. My son is finally showing compassion. I've asked him to put alcohol aside [not telling him; that would have opposite effect] so he can be there completely with his dog who gave him so much loyalty and love, before he dies.

I will never give up on my son. And I believe he will heal as I will continue to do so.

Thanks again for your insight.

Warm Regards,

Michelle


updated by @michelle: 04/11/19 10:24:30AM
Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
one week ago
175 posts

Gnostic principles are incredibly interesting. I do want to learn more in time. When I went back to church I had difficulty with the baptist theology. Soon after, God lead me to the gospel of Thomas. I was so excited I read it three times. This made sense. It opened up new understandings, and I was able to find those spiritual people in the church that transcended theology. I will study more.

Thank you for explaining. I don't have enough time anymore to study much. I work six days a week. Because of this, I don't go to church much anymore either. Mostly I hate the effect of being drained. I fall asleep every time. After a tough week I don't have anything left to give. I'm the custodian of the church. I clean up after them. On Sunday, I don't even want to look at them. I have to know what they have inside and say nothing. It sucks picking up a half eaten sucker or a piece of gum and know who put it there. Now, what your saying sort of answers the question as to why I'm being drained. I was told "everyone is working out their salvation" well they don't need me for that. I was ok with it as long as it was doing them some good, but I started doubting that it was doing any good at all. So why bother going. I may rethink this.

Now for the serious discussion: I was your son. I did the same he is doing now. You wouldn't have been able to tell that I at 16 was an empath. I hated the world for what it did to me without regret. I acted on that hatred by tearing apart the house. It started with putting holes in the wall and led to destroying mirrors, furniture, anything that would break. I started drinking at 16. I would sneak out at night and tear apart the city. I was living havoc. You could say I did the worst things for the best possible reasons. I was broken. I felt damaged. I couldn't bring myself to care anymore. Not for myself at least. It was self destruction. It led to an incident where by I had climbed a building, after drinking all night, and jumped off. I wanted to kill everyone. Instead I killed myself. 

My story might be to extreme for this or any forum. I was born into a horror show and raised by a demon. This is not just dramatic talk. It really happened. For so long, this was a family secret. No one talked about it til I was in my 20's. My mother is the only one that will discuss it. She was a prisoner of that demon for three years. She fully recovered and so did I. It was her love for me that got me through it. It was God's love that saw her through it. She never gave up on me. I am today who I am because of her. I wish I hadn't made it so hard on her. She was always on my side. Her prayers saved me. Her prayer brought me back from death. I know, it's extreme. 

I believe your son will find his way. He will look back and see what your love has meant to him. I'll be praying for this. Some decisions we make along the way can destroy us. If you can keep him from choosing those things, the rest will be lessons he uses to form his character. He'll be a better man for it. 

Something great happened last night. My wife had read this post and saw for herself what she is! I think she finally accepted it. She had a major break through. She said she'd had gotten angry at first, and felt humiliated. When she came to me to talk about it. She had worked through it. She was ready to listen. She wants to be a better person. I'm going to start showing her love again. This is great! I think we are taking a new road together. Now it's my turn to step up. 

This is a lesson for us all. We all deal with narcs. Maybe they can be turned back toward the light. It just takes brutal honesty and an iron will. Oh, and love. Lots and lots of love.

Thank you for sharing so much, @michelle, we are here for eachother. There are others here that need you. Minister to them now. I'm good.

michelle
@michelle
one week ago
144 posts
@zacharias

That is wonderful news! Blessings on you, your wife and daughter.

Thank you for sharing your life and know that it strengthens my resolve to never give up on my son.

Before I go, a gift for you. I looked into buying all 3 volumes of
Boris Mouravieff's, "Gnosis." Used they would cost over $100. I found them online pdf for free. Happy studying:

SNIP:

Boris Mouravieff And Gnosis

Boris Mouravieff was an enigmatic 'third man', known to Gurdjieff and Ouspensky, who found and learned to practice what he clearly believed to be the complete system of which only 'fragments' had been previously published in Ouspensky's 'In Search of the Miraculous'.

On this basis, he formed the 'Centre d'Etudes chretiennes esoteriques' in Geneva - now closed.

Many of his discoveries are described in his book Gnosis, which contains in its three volumes the fundamental components of that Christian esoteric teaching revealed by Ouspensky in fragmentary form.

This Gnosis is not a modern statement of the second century texts known as 'Gnosticism', but a previously unpublished ancient Christian knowledge tradition.

READ MORE AND LINKS TO BOOKS:
http://tinyurl.com/yclxno3o

PS: Reading this much online can hurt your eyes. [I still intend to buy those volumes!] Use the screen filters here to protect your eyesight..use F.lux and/or Twilight apps for your devices:

GO TO:
http://tinyurl.com/y3ul6eta
Cat Whisperer
Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
one week ago
783 posts
@zacharias
What @tigerlily said is true, she explained gaslighting perfectly as I am married to a gaslighter/borderline narc too. It is due to insecurity for sure. Even when I call out my husband on his gaslighting he act like he doesn’t know what I’m talking about.
So sorry to hear about your pets. That is scary when someone has the capacity to kill/abuse an animal. I really don’t want to put your wife down when I say this, so please don’t take it as such. However, if someone has the capacity to kill animals for their own satisfaction they have sociopathic tendencies. I have read about children that kill animals for satisfaction that turn into killers later on in life. History here but don’t want to go into details.
I feel for you out in this situation....just keep your vibration high and live your own truth
Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
one week ago
175 posts

Yes, thank you @tigerlily for making it clear. I've noticed two different types of gaslighters. Those that know what they are doing and those that don't. Denial is a major factor. They lie to themselves the most. This is why they can tell you blatant lies and believe it themselves. 

Those that know what they are doing, of course, are more sinister. These are sociopaths. They like to break people. They want to ruin you for their own satisfaction. I remember hearing a woman talk about this on NPR. She had written a book about it. What it's like to be a sociopath. It was enlightening. 

Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight


I wish these people didn't exist. It's hard to understand, although, we have too in order to deal with them. In a work environment they can craft schemes and do some real harm. This is their entertainment. 




 



updated by @zacharias: 04/13/19 08:21:12AM
Cat Whisperer
Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
one week ago
783 posts
Zacharias "]

Yes, thank you https://empathcommunity.eliselebeau.com/tigerlily>:class="at_link">@tigerlily for making it clear. I've noticed two different types of gaslighters. Those that know what they are doing and those that don't. Denial is a major factor. They lie to themselves the most. This is why they can tell you blatant lies and believe it themselves. 

Those that know what they are doing, of course, are more sinister. These are sociopaths. They like to break people. They want to ruin you for their own satisfaction. I remember hearing a woman talk about this on NPR. She had written a book about it. What it's like to be a sociopath. It was enlightening. 


Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight

I wish these people didn't exist. It's hard to understand, although, we have too in order to deal with them. In a work environment they can craft schemes and do some real harm. This is their entertainment. 




 



You hit the nail on the head about denial....my husband is the same way, pathological liar that gaslights. It is hard to deal with, like you, I could leave but I always forgive again. As empaths, that’s just what we do
Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
one week ago
175 posts

@cat-whisperer- As a woman you have an incredible strength you may not know about. I'm always surprised most women have not figured this out. I am in awe of women that have. It's very subtle, yet powerful. Please find it and use it to help yourself. 

True forgiveness doesn't happen without repentance. The word repent means to turn away. Without the other side changing their behavior we have to forgive over and over. The resolution doesn't happen until both sides do their part. We can forgive for ourselves and let go, but we can't make them truly repent. So we forgive, but we don't forget. I don't know what the answer is, other than patience. 

Cat Whisperer
Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
one week ago
783 posts

@zacharias....Awwww, thank you ☺️ You have strength and love beyond words to tolerate your situation, most men would have up and left wayyy before a few years in.

Trigger warning here!

I’m going to be real candid here...last fall I had had my fill, to the point of seeking legal counsel. Something he still does not know about. But I had to keep one last promise that I had made to him almost one year ago  to the day. I told him if he ever touched me again(hair puller), I would call the police so I kept my promise. Now this got through the grapevine pretty fast, rural community here where he was born and raised. Just wish I’d done it before tolerating it for 13 years

Anyhow...so now, the games and gaslighting have stopped..for the most part. If it does , I call him on it, lying too. Don’t get me wrong, he still does it but I’m in control now. He has come to realize that I ain’t playin’

Embarrassment is a strong and effective teacher


updated by @cat-whisperer: 04/13/19 06:02:35PM
michelle
@michelle
one week ago
144 posts

I believe this is an important topic, particularly for empaths because, although we are very good at picking up the hidden in others, we can be fooled, especially when it comes to sociopaths and psychopaths.

I often wondered how I was taken in, considering that I am an empath. Well 1st off I was a single mum with little support...no need to expand on that. And, my dad had just died which was hard and I was exausted from staying with him @ the VA hospice. I also had some disagreements with my mum and family over how he was handled. All in all it was a bad and distressing situation where I became alienated from my family.

When I say it was a psychopath that hurt me, I mean it. He was inhuman and overshadowed by something inhuman. @zacharias I saw the demon that possessed him. I have talked about this elsewhere, in other threads.

What I really want to examine why empaths can be taken in and leave this as a warning for others. So, you can see that I was at a physical and emotional low, vulerable. But that's not the whole picture.

The thing is with them there's nothing there to read. And I think we gear ourselves to reading negative emotions and pain. Then along comes the spider, so to speak!

The man I met was known to me from years past. I moved away and so did he. So I really didn't know much about him. Except that he was intelligent [a big attraction for me] and he was charming.

After awhile, he got me talking about my family and foolish me I related the whole alienating situation I was in with my family...because of this, they didn't know till years later what happened to me. I literally had no support except my teenage son at first. The psycho tried to separate my son from me too. But before that, he shared his own tales of woe and his family who didn't understand him.

This is how they operate. They are talented at reading people...actually they study us like the predator that they are. Then they begin to mirror our own qualities back to us! Since there are no emotions for us to read, we fall for it. This is all part of their game and they groom us for their plans of amusement, money, or what ever else they want. The only thing inside of them is greed...Greed for money, amusement, and inflicting pain.

I still run into that MF, yes he got away with it scott free...long story but he was friends with the police. Late last year he came right up to me at the store and started talking to me. It was all I could do not to vomit. And triggered again with the ptsd...I'd like to say that I got a few licks in but all I feel is helpless and afraid when I see him about; let alone come up to me. So, I mumbled something ineffective and walked away. Plus, if you cross these creatures, they retaliate. He damaged my car before in the dead of night...no witnesses.

In collusion, I think it very important that we learn all we can about them. Here's one article to start, specifically for empaths. I'll post others and books later:

Here Is What Happens When An Empath Meets A Sociopath By Jessica Reinhardt, September 30th 2016 READ: http://tinyurl.com/y4ruq3k3


updated by @michelle: 04/14/19 06:27:17AM
Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
one week ago
175 posts

@cat-whisperer- Seems that you have found that strength. We have to get to the point where we say "NO MORE". Good. 

TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
2 days ago
486 posts
It sounds like you are all making excuses for the narc and gas lighters in your life. You all have the option to leave, but choosing to stay. Which makes me question, why post this?

Every empath needs to understand the dynamics of a narc and their gas lighting ways or you fall into their trap. We feel what is wrong, but yet also feel what is right. It is confusing when it comes to love.
Unconditional love is not based on conditions. Cild, money, homes, etc. It is far more than that. Tying up and hurting other creatures, is the the same psychotic tendencies that can be used on a human.

As an empath you are already seeing and feeling something is wrong. I see no reason why not discuss it, but to to then later discuss "it is all good" it is not. These people are holding any empath back to what our true purpose is, so yes, you are being gas lighted. You fell into the trap of a gas lighter. The gas lighter is taking away your confidence and power, drawing back to them. Just so one can keep quiet and do what the narc wants, and make excuses for the narc.

If you are doubting mostly you are feeling that something is wrong and what to question it. It is wrong. If you need help/guidance on this, be open to suggestions of others and their experiences.
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 days ago
1,391 posts

I used to be a therapist. We must be careful with diagnosis. Narcs do not normally hurt animals, esp. dogs. They usually love dogs, who give them unconditional affection. Psychopaths and sociopaths are the ones who hurt, and may even kill animals. They can also graduate to hurting children and spouses if they are not stopped. It is up to the other adult to protect helpless children and animals. I hope that will be done here, since I know empaths are never so selfish as to forget that! 

Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
yesterday
175 posts

@tigerlily- I understand where you are coming from. If I were to document every offence over the years I'd run out of paper. If I was given an indication that she would physically injure my daughter I would leave before that happened. The hurt she has caused psychologically and spiritually is worse. It has caused deep wounds that take longer to heal than meer physical damage. I had reason to leave years ago. My daughter would have came with me without argument. It makes me look weak and stupid not too, but your question was "Why post this?". 

I got what I wanted out of it. I wanted her to see what she is and turn away from it. All indications are she has finally understood I will not tolerate another incident. She has been coming to me to admit things she's still doing that I had asked her not to do anymore. We are working through this in a way that isn't so final. I give her grace if she gets out in front of it and asks me to forgive her. If not, she will be alone. That did sink in deep enough that she has changed the way she behaves. Although, it's only been two weeks. Lets see what happens long term. 

It's very difficult to see this life as something to enjoy. There is always suffering. We suffer through it and must accept it in order to move past it. There is a much larger issue here. It's what happens in the next life. That is what I'm concerned about.

Forgiveness isn't for the weak hearted. It seems like a sacrifice to give up our animus and open ourselves up to more hurt. It looks like were just duped into allowing others to run roughshod over us. That isn't what is really happening. If I were to react to every time I see another suffer I would be a very prolific serial killer. I would love to put down every human that harms another. Being an empath means I see what they are capable of, and worse, what they have done. I trained for many years to be the toughest mofo in the room no matter what room I was in. I do stand up and stop it when I see it, but I can't stop all of it. There is a purpose to suffering beyond our feeble understanding. 

I hate to get into "The Purpose of Suffering". It's a subject that won't be fully explained here. C.S. Lewis has explored this topic well, if your interested. The main question you want an answer to is why suffer a narc? It's selfish, actually. Like I said, I want to be the toughest mofo in the room. There are many narcs I'm dealing with. Some are on the level of sociopath and I see what damage they doing. Other people don't see it and they would target me if I simply pulled my knife and ended them. So I choose another way. I want to save them from themselves. As Empath, at our core we all do. We just don't know how to go about. Now I do. I apply these lessons I've learned from this experience to new confrontations. It feels good to have new weapons in my arsenal. I'm ready for battle. In fact, I've already begun the fight. I stand in place waiting for the attack to come. Once movement happens I can redirect the energy back at the attacker. This is our gift as Empath. We are warriors. All we have to do is stand. 

Let's use another example just so you get a full understanding. I have a pet raccoon I call Edgar. I have a few, but they are all named Edgar. I call them pets because I feed them. Not because I pet them. Edgar just came up to me asking for food. So I said yes, again, even though he just went through the trash. He walks all over my tables and knocks thing down. He's a menace. I should pop him with my slingshot until he leaves, or just kill him, gut him, eat him, and make a coonskin hat out of him. Instead I let him eat the cat food which he is doing right now. Why would I? I think this is something you understand without me explaining. 

 

Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
yesterday
175 posts

@michelle- You said you saw the demon on the psychopath that hurt you. My mother saw the demon that hurt us. I see them out in public now and then. They wear a mask. I see the mask too. Is this what you saw? 

michelle
@michelle
yesterday
144 posts

Hi Zacharias, I'll answer specifics soon. Yeah I see 'em alot.

My son threw at me last night, he was taking a young labrador retriever home from a co-worker...and the dog got here about 10 last night. I've got a german shepard and border collie plus cats...so it's pretty active here right now. The owners did nothing with this lab and he's very excitable and the german shepard is none too happy.

I'd also like to state that my son was never abusive with our pets but he was neglectful of them if I needed him to care for them...this is more an oppositional defiance dynamic betw/ us but can be crappy for the pets.

Don't know if this dog situation will work but son today starts 9 day vacation and I told him dog or alcohol; can't have both. Lately, he has been more reasonable and cut back when I asked. We'll see but I don't want to return the dog to the original owners. They say they're now getting their kids a rabbit....poor bunny!

Specific breathing has helped greatly w/ the ptsd and my reactions to son. If any want info on breathing, ask.

I also want to touch on expecting people to leave situations and what that can result in.

Be back after the pandemonium settles down. 🐶🐅🐕🐱🐺🐈😽!


updated by @michelle: 04/21/19 08:47:16AM

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