I know as an Empath, I will constantly attract narcissists and those who need healing. Being more aware of all of this now has enabled me to process my very strong attraction to these individuals but I'm also aware that this person may not exactly be the best for me. It is a bit of a struggle because the attraction and emotions are SO INTENSE. I recently experienced this with someone I'm currently "getting over". Let's call him Juan.
A little back story: I never make a big deal out of my birthday. I hate being the center of attention and never remind anyone that my birthday is approaching. The most i will do is a dinner with some friends or just go to my moms to cut a cake. Nothing fancy. This year, my birthday was right before labor day so a weekend getaway seemed fun. I felt like i NEEDED to travel this year. On my actual birthday, the plan was to go to the beach, have some food drinks then just head back to the room. We crashed hard when we got back to that room and napped for about 4 hours until i randomly woke up around 1am. Normally, after a day like that, i would not have the energy to do anything else including going out again that late but i wanted to keep going. I felt like i HAD to go out dancing and was filled with energy.
We head out and on the way there i turn to my friend and tell him " i feel like I'm going to meet someone tonight". I have never said that before and don't ever go out expecting that i will meet or even approach anyone as i can be very shy and reserved. I see someone I've interacted with in the past at the club who I'm not particularly fond of so i literally grab my friend and say LETS GO before he sees me, we run downstairs. I get downstairs and as i am walking through the crowd, i am stopped by a guy. He is all flirty with me, then his friend is also in my face flirting as well. Then a 3rd and 4th. They were all there together and somewhat intoxicated. I look to the side, and see Juan who i could tell was with them but he was more reserved and seemed a little down and distant. I asked his friends "who's that?" and am INSTANTLY attracted to him. I literally felt an energy move through me and knew that i was not going to leave that club without at least speaking to him or exchanging numbers. I approach him and he's very quiet but answering my questions. I find out that he is also there celebrating his birthday that day but it was mostly his friends who forced him to go out. He didn't particularly want to be there. They were getting ready to leave and one of his friends says to me " here take Juans number " grabs my phone and proceeds to put a number in my contacts. Something inside me told me to confirm with Juan if it was the right number or not and surely it wasn't. His intoxicated "friend" put his own number in my phone instead of Juans. I also found money on the street after that entire interaction which i never do, so in my mind i felt like this was my lucky birthday lol.
We spent the entire next day together and it felt as if i had known him for an eternity. There wasn't that " getting to know someone" stage that i usually go through and feel with new people. He felt so familiar and everything felt so effortless and comfortable. We laughed, we danced together in his room, sang happy birthday to each other, he even made me dinner. I literally felt like i was spending a day with a lover I've been with for a long time as opposed to someone i just met the night before. We also have such specific similar interests when it comes to music and the arts which is so rare for me to find in others. What blew my mind the most was that he had a small alter for a specific deity in his room that i also have in mine. I have never encountered this!
I also learned that he is extremely depressed and unhappy with life. He is a "starving artist" who feels like he is no where near where he needs or wants to be in life. He is also a total HSP/Empath from everything he told me. I had to hold him in my arms as he cried at one point which was hard. Saying goodbye was also difficult and he was pleading for me "not to leave him" which broke my heart but i had a flight to catch back home. Despite everything we experienced in knowing him for less than 48 hours, I was on the highest high i have been on in years. I rarely meet anyone who can bring so much emotion out of me. This lasted weeks where i would just think about him constantly, look at his pictures and smile. I would picture our lives together and even purchased some new luggage as i was totally prepared to fly to see him whenever possible. I really felt like the universe set this all in motion because it was suppose to grow into something really beautiful but then that didn't really happen. This hurt so much at first. The distance was certainly a factor but he also really loves being alone and i simply just don't feel like a relationship is what he wants or needs right now. I care for him enough to give him his space but the healer part of me feels like i need to do more.
So a few months later, we talk here and there and i try to give him some encouragement and uplifting but I've accepted that it isn't going to develop into anything more for now. I'm finally ok with it but I can't help but wonder why it seemed like the universe set everything up the way it did for me to meet him but for nothing to really come out of it except for an amazing day together. It seemed so perfect but for what?? How was i able to make a comment to a friend that night about meeting someone then actually meeting someone who I'm so energetically drawn to? What is the lesson in all of this? Maybe there is no lesson and it was simply an amazing birthday weekend. I also tend to think there has to be something more or greater in everything which makes it hard to just view it as just another encounter.
I also want to mention that I am never attracted to the ones who seem to have it all together. I met someone last year who was essentially the "perfect guy" and i knew it would be a healthy relationship but i didn't feel that spark or fire. Not even half of what I felt with Juan in knowing him for a day. It's as if i can energetically feel like they don't "need me" and I have other souls on this plane that need my help and attention. Yeah I could be with him and we would grow together but it felt kind of flat...
How did you meet your current partner? Was it an instant connection and intense attraction or did it grow into it? Did you know you would end up with them? Were they at a low point in their lives when you came along or vice versa? Do you feel like you settled at all with someone because they seemed like a good match as opposed to feeling spiritually and emotionally connected? Did initial settling perhaps grow into a relationship where you were connected in a way that wasn't present in the beginning? Thank you all for taking the time to read this and responding.