Lost and Confused

So_exausted_from_users
So_exausted_from_users
@so-exausted-from-users
one month ago
43 posts

I spent 43 years fighting the empath inside of me until meeting my twin flame last summer triggered so much soul growth and in January I realized that I am an empath then the beginning of March my spiritual awakening. This last year has been about learning to live with the empath inside of me (which I am not very successful at times doing) and learning how to use my empathic energy to send my twin flame healing energy. He has stopped the separation cycles and we have been in a complicated relationship now for a month. 

I have always gotten these horrible gut feeling. No it isn't from my heart or my soul, thoughts are different voices/feelings when they talk to me but my gut is like this big huge older brother who is my protector and if it says that a person is going to hurt you I learned the hard way not to ignore it. It will also pick up on negitivie vibes and let me know when someone in my life is going to hurt me. It will set of a negitivie vibe in me and since accepting that I am a empath the negitivie vibes feeling turns into a full blown panic attack where I will cry for hours just knowing that this horrible thing is coming. I don't know what it is I just know that it is.. Before I would just dwell on it like the last time I dropped my husband off at the airport 4 1/2 years ago as I was hugging him good bye I knew that was the last time I would ever see him. 3 months later when he returned from that business trip for summer holidays he asked for a separation even though the day before he had been talking with the kids about making lists for them to do with him for the 2 week summer break. I had ignored the doubt because I didn't want to believe that it could be true. I have so many more examples. 

Where everything is confusing me is that even before I was an empath there were signs and this gut feeling and I knew that person would soon be out of my life, but I get them about my twin flame and all bets are off, sometimes nothing happens, sometimes he dissapears for a couple days but comes back with us being more intense, sometimes the opposite happens like him asking me for a relationship. I am so lost and confused. I had this horrible gut feeling of losing him 2 nights ago I finally got the tears to stop 6 hours later and after 3 antianxiety meds but I still can't shake the feeling since then, it has left me in a depression state where I just don't want to leave bed and rather sleep all day than deal with life. My twin flame has no idea that I had this happen and we both have a lot going on in our lives which is why our relationship is complicated but he has been messaging me off and on since the attack trying to figure out when he can visit me again in his schedule or just to say hi cause he misses me. 

I don't know what to do about this gut feeling or how to deal with them, least in the past they have always made sence. Sometimes I wonder if learning I am an empath it just complicated matters or not but it doesn't erase the fact that before my spiritual awakening the rules applied to my twin flame also, I could tell when he was going to run and we would be separated for a while. 

I don't know how to get over this feeling that he is going to leave me again either, I am tired of being depressed but I can't shake the horrible feeling yet either.  Has anyone else gone through this? What did they do? Yes, any one else and my gut feeling is still 100% accurate, my kids hate that I know so much. 

For people wondering what a twin flame is, It is said that long ago a soul was broken in half and placed in to people to go through each life time learning and growing until such time the souls are reunited together as one couple. There has been a romantic twist put onto twin flames but trust me they are anything but romantic. Yes there is crazy amounts of desire and passion involved and a feeling of completion when you are with the other Twin but there is also huge amounts of heart break and pain when the one twin flame runs from the intense feeling they have. Running and separation can last from days, to weeks, to months to several years. One twin always appears to be more spiritually awakening than the other one and they realize what is going on faster. It is highly recommend to leave the other twin run and come back and find you once they are spiritual awakening and have found out that they are twin flames. In other words don't chase them and find something else to focus on. There is also a connecton between the two twins where each person can feel the others emotions and over time a telepathical connection is also made. There is an energy than continues to draw both twins together. Like everything mankind likes to put rules on how twin flames work but for me personally I stopped following most all the rules and let my heart guide me. I don't believe in God but in spiritual forces and I don't believe that the rules are made from any other force than man. That each twin flame journey is unique and different and will be influenced by ones faith, culture, way they were raised, beliefs, religion and what will work for one person could be the wrong advice for someone else in their twin flame journey.

If any one has experience where their gut feeling just don't make sense to someone in there life and what they did about that horrible dread feeling please let me know. To date this is the worst one I have had and his words and actions show no indication that I could be right, which is good news but I can't shake the horrible feeling. 

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
one month ago
968 posts

@so-exausted-from-users:

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. You're in a tough period right now as a newbie empath and I know first hand how stressed and confused you feel. I would like to help you better understand a few subjects. Your gut feeling is part of being an empath. It's your knowing skills. It's kind of like a second brain that focuses on your spiritual skills. In fact, I think Chinese medicine describes the stomach best:

According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, the Stomach (and its partner the Spleen) is most affected by chronic worry, anxiety, or overthinking. 

For me, my gut feeling is literal. I actually get odd feelings and pains in my stomach when I get premonitions or the knowing feeling that something doesn't feel right. I often wonder if this is why the term "gut feeling" came about.

As a new empath, your skills are on blast right now because you don't know how to balance them yet. Your chakras are wide open and you are overexposed by the energies of everyone around you. Your mind is having a tough time keeping up with what is being thrown at you. As a result, I'm sure you're pretty stressed and probably worry about more than you should. The solution for you is to learn how to ground and get your chakras balanced. Do you have any experience balancing and meditating to relax your mind, body, and soul?

As far as your twin flame comments, I don't want to disappoint you, but I am not a fan of the new age twin flame belief. The thought that there is one person in this world who is a perfect match for you is not realistic or statistically accurate. I think it puts too much pressure on a relationship when you think "it was written in the stars". I can't tell you how many people we've had come through here with posts about being absolutely distraught because their twin flame broke up with them. Truth be told, there are many people out there who are energetic matches for you. And you will meet many of these people in your lifetime. Sometimes these special energetic match people make a good boyfriend or husband. And other times those people turn out to be mentors, or life long friends. I would just say enjoy the time and relationship with your boyfriend and try not to be overexposed by the twin flame concept as it may leave you disappointed down the road.

And as far as relationships go, being an empath can often doom a relationship and create a lot of ups and downs. And the reason is that we empaths are super sensitive. And we connect to people energetically and basically can read their minds through what their energy is telling us. That can scare off a romantic partner or a friend. As can the fact that we can often be moody and needy. I would say a tip on how to be an empath and in a healthy relationship would be to take better care of yourself, to work on being grounded. Because when you get all wound up and out of balance from all the energy that you take in from this world, you are not going to be a fun person for someone to be around. And you'll literally wear them out.

And in closing, realizing you are an empath at first can feel like a curse. It all seems so negative with a lot of anxiety, sleepless nights, panic attacks etc... Not to mention that quite a few of us hear and see the spirit world. It's a lot to get hit with. But in time you will learn how to ground yourself and keep yourself balanced and protected. And instead of your gut feeling switch being on high all of the time, you'll notice that it works much better with less stress on you when it is switched to medium (balanced). I would just suggest you spend some time looking through past posts on this website. Think of it like an empath library. There is a wealth of knowlege and conversation here that will both fascinate and inform you. And then of coourse feel free to post your questions so community members can help you out.

So_exausted_from_users
So_exausted_from_users
@so-exausted-from-users
one month ago
43 posts
Hop-daddy

I will be looking into the information that you gave me more, you are right that parts of my empathic senses are on full blast and I do need to find a grounding. In many other ways it is like an old toy that I have always used all my life I just didn't read the instruction manual before I started using it. Just cause I fought the empath side of me for 43 years it doesn't mean that part was off the whole time, I just had no idea what it meant. I have been an empath since I was born, it runs on my father's side and I have since realized that I have passed it on to both of my kids.
I have always had gut feeling and before I only got mild anxiety attacks when I knew something negitivie what about to have buy I was able to pinpoint out exactly what it was going to be. I would get major anxiety attacks before my awakening if I ignored what my guy was telling me about the person and after a blind date going very wrong I never ignored another gut feeling about something. I also have known things about people that there is no way that I should have known, my awakening just helped me understand why and fine tune it some.
No I don't know how to meditate or visualize, I have tried off and on again over and over in my life and it doesn't appear to be something that I am capable of doing. I do know that having a monkey's mind makes it harder for one to meditate. I also can't be hypnotized either because I am unable to let my body go into a relaxed enough state. Other things like energy vampires I may not have known what they are called but I learned long ago to avoid them if possible and to limit my time around them if I can't. I have seen spirits (ghosts) for as long as I can remember.
I was with someone for 17 years and married to them for 16 years, this person was, is and always will be a soulmate however he chose to end the marriage and became extremely emotional abusive to the point where I suffer from extreme PTSD. And yet I managed to find a way to shut down all my Chakra before he pushed me into a mental breakdown. I have been seeing a therapist for the past 3 years for healing and when I came across my twin flame I told my therapist about it immediately once I learned what made the electricity between him and I so different than anything else I have ever experienced. During separation lead me to work on my spiritual growth and to realize that I am an empath.
My spiritual awakening did amplified lots, I still know how to protect myself again energy vampires and I continue to work on putting up boundaries with my twin flames help to limit the ways that my ex can hurt me. Whether or not there is more than one twin flame I really have no idea, I know that a person can have many soulmates in there life, some romantic and some are friends and family. This person who I call my twin flame I had no idea what that meant until the first time he ran and I went looking for answers. There is something unique and different about this person and our energy is so intertwined there is no way either of us could separate each from each other if we tried. We feel each other's emotions, thoughts at times, and energy. Yes we have done more separation cycles than I can count, longest one being 7 weeks and even though it hurts like hell when he runs I don't have time to obsess over that he is gone. He get 30 mins at the end of each day when I dedicate time to talking with my spiritual guides and then I send him positive healing energy. He had no idea that I am doing this yet a while ago he told me that he can feel the healing energy I am sending and it is helping him heal. I was in shock at just how much he is feeling also through our connection.
Like I said I may not have known that I was an empath but I knew what negitivie energy vibes meant and were related to and how I would be hurt yet none of the rules apply with my twin flame and yet I can't shake this horrible feeling of dread when it comes to him. In the past the feeling either goes away or I realize that it is about something else. This time neither is happening and I still haven't figured out my ground. I have tried lots of things. And meditation is out.
I just need to know why I can't shake things feeling of dread. It is starting to interfere with my life.
Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
one month ago
968 posts

@so-exausted-from-users:

Congrats on figuring out who you are. There are a lot of empaths out there who are miserable becauase they refuse to examine what is happening and try to block their feelings or mask them with anxiety and anti-depression drugs. So big thumbs up to you for doing the research and figuring it out.

The majority of empaths are born this way while there are others that will go through a tragic event in their life that also can switch on empath abilities. This does definitely run in familes but seems to often skip a generation. Although like you, I also have two empath kids so there was no skipping generations this time.

Every empath typically shares the same main ability to be able to absorb, feel, and read other people's energies. And then from there we all split out differently with different side abilities. Some of us can heal others, some can see and communicate with the dead, some can see visions of the future, or communicate with animals etc... The list of spiritual abilities is quite long and very interesting.

The toughest thing for a newly awakened empath is that your abilities are on overload. It's like having a stereo turned up to maximum on the dial. Everything is working to the extreme. You may see ghosts all of the time, you may hide in your home because you get anxiety attacks from being around others etc... Whatever your skill set is will be amplified until you learn how to balance and ground your energy. And in most cases, this comes with making lifestyle changes.

Your ability to relax and meditate is compromised now because your psychic skills are on over drive and your mind is racing. You simply can't rest your mind at this point. This will change in time as you start to balance and ground yourself. But back to the example of your 16 year marriage, break-ups can be especially debilitating for empaths. Because we feel our own grief, but we also feel the pain, anger, and resentment from our ex. It's a double whammy of emotional energy. And if this hits while your chakras are wide open, it can be a very devastating time. I imagine it was very rough for you. This is the important thing about being an empath. You have to study up and understand how it works, and how you work. 

As an empath, you will achieve a deep emotional connection to anyone you are in love with. It's both a blessing and a curse. That's a big reason why it feels so magical with your boyfriend. You have created a deep spiritual connection with him. And empath energy is very special and unique and can be intoxicating to your partner when you start to date. People are drawn to empaths because they feel better after interacting with one. That's our healing energy taking place there. We take away people's pain and psychological discomfort and exchange it with good happy energy. You just have to be careful who you share your energy with because energy vampires are real. And narcissists are also real and are especially drawn to entraping empaths. Your ex-husband may have been one. And pretty much every empath has at least one ex that was a narcissist. This is why you'll often read on this site about protecting your energy and staying grounded.

As far as your feelings of dread, it could be any number of things. I'll give your a few examples that pertain to me. Every once in a while I get a feeling of dread and then usually something bad happens afterwards in the news. Maybe a big shooting or accident. I also pick up on earth bound ghost energy. And let me tell you, earth bound ghosts are mostly lost & confused with feelings of dread, regret, sadness, frustration etc... So for me sometimes it is that. And sometimes that feeling of dread can be your gut telling you that something is not right in your life and you need to make a change for  the better. You may be off course a bit.

I would say first and foremost, start by focusing on calming down and grounding your energy. It's near impossible to get any real answers with your abilities on full blast. You need to get that settled down and balanced so you can better interpret what is going on. 


updated by @hop-daddy: 12/13/18 01:33:16PM
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
one month ago
1,387 posts

@so-echausted-from-users,

I love your screen name, and it could be mine. @hop-daddy alerted me to this thread, since I am older and hopefully wiser, lol, but I am way behind on email and just now saw it. He has already said everything I could say and then some.

I agree with him on soul mates and twin flames. I've seen too many people use those overly used, romanticized labels as a reason to stay and put up with abuse or a bad match. I tend to think people who feel that strong an attraction to someone  they've just met are either people we were with in other lives, or people who subconsciously remind us of our parents. For more on that last part about parents, see Alain De Bouton's YouTube video on "Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person". It explains the childhood psychological imprinting that we are all subject to and how its influence is so strong nobody escapes it and it never goes away, no matter how old we are. Knowing his helps us to deal with the way things are. 

I have a constant feeling of dread despite being married a long time. I feel it is due to some coming natural catastrophe of huge proportion and I am not the only one who feels this. You may be a physical empath if that is so. There are several types of empath and you may be one or several. My point is are you sure it is related to this man? This may take time. That is what your therapy is for. Ask yourself also if this therapist is the right one for you and if this is the right type of therapy for the problem.

He is also right about calming down, grounding and also shielding. I still have issues with this, so will not claim to have it licked. I am a hermit as a result, but have found that I can be "exhausted from users" even by online people who prey on us empaths, and it is even harder to spot them w/o being able to see them. They make me furious. Be careful here and elsewhere and though it's hard for empaths, put yourself first, always.

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