michelle
@michelle
one month ago
63 posts
"Oh and lately people don't listen to me at all. Like I would give advice or answer a question and I would be ignored or just shut down because I', not "right". Even sometimes when I am talking, it would be as if no one is listening. Sometimes they would just start talking like I am not in the middle of a sentence or talk just after I finished with a total different topic and be answered by whoever is around. Weird right?"

Not weird. I've had the same thing happen many times. It's like I'm invisible.
Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
one month ago
944 posts

@alexisw

&

@michelle:

Because as an empath you feel so deeply, you are keenly aware that you're off your life path. Your subconscience and higher self are letting you know this. It seems you have a nagging feeling that this is not where you are supposed to be in your life. Although the situation and your low feeling sucks. Be thankful that we empaths have warning lights like this to tell us when a change is needed.

I go through the same in cycles over the years. And earlier this year I watched my teen empath daughter go from being really popular to having all her friends dump her all at once in different scenarios. It was like watching a ship hit an ice berg and sink. The common denominator that I've found is that when we are balanced and normal-high vibration, all sorts of people are attracted to us. We are sought after and people listen. When our vibration is low, we cause people to run from us. I don't know what it is but its like the plague where people just don't feel good around us when we are down. And when down, we also attract bad luck and negative situations.

My advice is to get balanced and happy. You can do this by raising your vibration through self-work. It's really hard to decide what to do with your life when you are down. Once you have raised your vibration and are feeling more like your usual self, then you'll find answers will come easier to you. And even if you are not used to speaking to your spirit guides, they are there and can help and assist you. Go ahead and talk to them. In your head or outloud go ahead and ask them to send you a sign on where and what you should be doing at this point in your life. Sometimes they will answer back right away with an idea or words that pop up in your head. And other times they will over the course of days or even weeks give you a response with spiritual bread crumbs that will take a while for you to figure out what the message is. Just keep your eyes and ears open. And if you ask them for help, I am confident that they will give you a sign or some clues as to what you should be doing.

Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
one month ago
977 posts

Hi..your not alone in what you are going through and not understanding what's going on is part of everything. For instance...there are people who will use you to dump their baggage on and those who are genuinely in need of our assistance...the difference is that WE (you and me) know this,THEY do not and are not aware that what they are doing is not nice or respectful. I can usually tell this in the 1st second of them talking...I usually just let them talk and move on. Also my way of thinking is not their way of thinking. Part of my issue used to be taking things too personally...I had to learn that these other humans are not where I'm at in my own spirituality and way of being. And I can't help everyone, especially when they are so closed off...and that's the way they want to be...lol. So if you do feel disrespected and down about it you can turn it off by simply walking away and clearing any energy connections from your own energy/aura. Do you clear yourself of there connections on a regular basis?...if you don't you should learn how to do that as your depressions probably are not entirely your own. And about your problem of being lost...you are not...clearing your energy and learning how to disconnect from others will help you get to where you need to be. When I lose things and I'm anxious about finding stuff...I purposefully stop looking...ask who ever to help me find it..and sometimes I find stuff immediately or I don't for a few days..but I do find it eventually....I do the same with finding my path...if I don't know, I wait and see what door opens up...until I do I look forward to it...lol...even when I worry about it I know it won't come until the right moment so...just relax...and take it a day at a time. You can't always rush things. Maybe you're supposed to learn how to slow down.


updated by @womanwhowalks: 11/13/18 02:14:01PM
michelle
@michelle
one month ago
63 posts
@hop-daddy

Sure I'm off my life path. I was slapped
down most horrifically.
It runied my health.
I'm not going to repeat
it here....you can find
my story @ the recent thread,
Can Empaths be Narcissists?

I take a darker view of this world than most. It's not all Light and Love here.

I am in agreement with the ancient and modern Gnostics that this world
is run by a corrupted, demented demiurge.

I'm an older empath and have know since youth what I am. I was born with much of my memory intact as to who I really am. I could see myself as a Light being as a toddler...and yes my human memory goes back that far.

Before I go on, I want the younger, more impressionable members to understand that you may be here to purely shine your light in a dark world. Psychic powers do not equal enlightenment; so if you are weak or nonexistent in them, it's ok. I believe Elise mentioned this earlier at the creation of this community. Your empathic
skills are sorely needed in our world.

That said, my spirit is more of a warrior one. I have not only seen ghosts but also demons. They have messed with me since childhood. When one comes into this world as a bright light, it is known. And it was the dark that slapped me to the curb.

I do not have a fasination with such things...I do not try to contact dead relatives thru mediums or others. I do not give interest to most channelings for unless the channel is very pure, it can be hijacked by negatives or corrupted thru the channel's belief system/outlook/whatever.

I believe I came here as part of the cleanup crew for lack of a better description. My life as an empath is the brighter side of my life; knowing when others needed an extended hand to pull them up or a compasionate ear...tbey've come out of the woodwork all my life.

Dealing with the dark is not for the faint of heart and I sometimes
wonder what was I thinking before I came here?!!!

Don't worry, I'm still standing and maybe I'm just recooping my energies for something else. Until then, I'm quite happy to be that nice lady who always seems to know when you're feeling bad and can brighten someone's day with a smile or kind words.
Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
one month ago
944 posts

@michelle:

You and I have common beliefs. While there is plenty of love & light (and we could use more), there is definitely a dark side. And the dark side is busy manipulating and setting things up in their favor in our world. I have read many things about Gnostics and demiurge and it makes logical sense to me. And I've had plenty of run-ins with dark beings so I had no choice but to consider, believe, and understand what they are all about. This year I had to learn how to defend and fight back against them. In fact, I firmly believe that there is a spiritual war between light and dark that is going on. And I think this is why there have been so many spiritual awakenings over the past 20+ years. Our team needs all the help we can get.

Thanks for sharing your story. It's interesting that you mentioned "clean up crew". I sense the same. I also find it interesting that quite a few very good and exceptional psychics, mediums, and empaths do not feel, hear, or see the dark side. I can't figure out if they are somehow blocking it or whether they were not chosen to be exposed to it. What are your thoughts on this?

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
one month ago
1,378 posts

@michelle,

Ditto what hop-daddy said. Another light warrior here, and have fought them on the astral in my sleep. Exhausted from it and discouraged by the lack of awakening in the general population. I know of 2 more of us who are members here and there may be more. I also think of us as a clean up crew. People have different roles as you said. I also wonder what  the heck I was thinking when I decided to come here. I can also relate to people not listening to me, even people who've seen me predict things that came true or other things like it over and over. I am also older like you, and want you to know how you are not alone! thanks for posting this...it has helped me too. :-) 

michelle
@michelle
one month ago
63 posts
@hop-daddy

Why don't some perceive negs? Maybe it's not in their mission to do so, at this time. Or, they are still learning.
Who really wants it anyway...except the darker STS[s]?

I also think that the Matrix, made by the demiurge is designed to take notice of any who would/could/do become problematic to the dark's plans. Keep your head down and support the matrix and they pretty much leave you alone.

I also think that if one is too interested in them that it acts as a sort of invitation. This requires a balancing act because one does need to understand that they do indeed exist. And some need the protection of greater Knowledge...as in your case or mine.

I have alot of qualms with the new age movement because it down plays the dark and as I said, it isn't all Light and Love here. I think there is much deception in this type of teaching.

Read some of the channelings and they're peppered with flowery and flattering speech or they talk to readers as if they're children. IMO I think many are deluded and hence, so are their followers. This is just another dark trap.

The Gnostic Christians of the second century believed that only a special revelation of knowledge rather than faith could save a person. The contents of this revelation could not be received empirically or derived a priori. They considered this special gnosis so valuable that it must be kept secret. Here are the ten major principles of the gnostic revelation:

1.The creator of this world is demented.

2.The world is not as it appears, in order to hide the evil in it, a delusive veil obscuring it and the deranged deity.

3.There is another, better realm of God, and all our efforts are to be directed toward returning there bringing it here

4.Our actual lives stretch thousands of years back, and we can be made to remember our origin in the stars.

5.Each of us has a divine counterpart unfallen who can reach a hand down to us to awaken us. This other personality is the authentic waking self; the one we have now is asleep and minor.

6.We are in fact asleep, and in the hands of a dangerous magician disguised as a good god, the deranged creator deity. The bleakness, the evil and pain in this world, the fact that it is a deterministic prison controlled by the demented creator causes us willingly to split with the reality principle early in life, and so to speak willingly fall asleep in delusion.

7.You can pass from the delusional prison world into the peaceful kingdom if the True Good God places you under His grace and allows you to see reality through His eyes.

8.Christ gave, rather than received, revelation; he taught his followers how to enter the kingdom while still alive, where other mystery religions only bring about amnesis: knowledge of it at the "other time" in "the other realm," not here. He causes it to come here, and is the living agency to the Sole Good God (i.e. the Logos).

9.Probably the real, secret Christian church still exists, long underground, with the living Corpus Christi as its head or ruler, the members absorbed into it. Through participation in it they probably have vast, seemingly magical powers.The division into "two times" (good and evil) and "two realms" (good and evil) will abruptly end with victory for the good time here, as the presently invisible kingdom separates and becomes visible. We cannot know the date.

10.During this time period we are on the sifting bridge being judged according to which power we give allegiance to, the deranged creator demiurge of this world or the One Good God and his kingdom, whom we know through Christ.

To know these ten principles of Gnostic Christianity is to court disaster.

What say you on this?
michelle
@michelle
one month ago
63 posts
Cheshire Cat:

@michelle,

Ditto what hop-daddy said. Another light warrior here, and have fought them on the astral in my sleep. Exhausted from it and discouraged by the lack of awakening in the general population. I know of 2 more of us who are members here and there may be more. I also think of us as a clean up crew. People have different roles as you said. I also wonder what  the heck I was thinking when I decided to come here. I can also relate to people not listening to me, even people who've seen me predict things that came true or other things like it over and over. I am also older like you, and want you to know how you are not alone! thanks for posting this...it has helped me too. :-) 



Yes, what WERE we thinking????!!! Ain't that the truth! Nice to meet a fellow warrior.

And, of course, all the rest of the shining people here! I'm so very happy to be a part of this community❤

Hugs,
Michelle
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
one month ago
1,378 posts

@michelle,

Thanks for posting the info on the Gnostics too. Finding that material a couple of  years ago was a revelation! 

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
one month ago
944 posts

@michelle:

Thanks for the post. Good info. there. I have found this to be very true: "I also think that if one is too interested in them that it acts as a sort of invitation."

We had a lot of neg attacks at my house earlier this year (my kids and I are empaths so we have for years attracted a lot of unwanteds). And my response was to research the topic heavily and find ways to defend and get rid of these things. But the more involved I got, the more the other side upped the invasion amd attacks in my home. So I had to back off and find balance like you said in order to make progress.

TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
one month ago
457 posts
Love everything that everyone wrote here.

What cane to my mind, was soul groups. I just recently learned mine, and was able to resonate with it. Yet also understand better why I can't stand how this world has become.

Anyways, going back to the lost feeling. I completely get you. I went through this for years and phases prior. We do get clues, and once I understood that and followed them better. That is when my intuition grew. Just the last year it grew more. But like you "do I go back to school, do I move, etc" At one point as it was to much coming in at once. Almost like an overwhelming life issues, but from spirit and my guide. My head wanted to explode. Once i started piecing my dreams and reflecting on my day, meditating and clearing myself, and going to this class, and coming her it all started to make sense. all of a sudden I started feeling something was coming but not knowing what. Now I see it aND just followed the intuitive feelings I was having. Now, some are not logical lol. But I see it now how some things unfolded.
Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
one month ago
944 posts

@womanwhowalks:

There's a saying that comes to mind that is "With great power comes great responsibility." And I'd like to add to that by saying "Great power/abilities can come at a price of personal suffering". You are obviously quite talented. And you suffer from your work. We all do. And it goes in cycles that can at times be very dark like what you are experiencing now. We persevere and somehow make it through. I am very sorry you're going through all of what is making you feel broken and down. Just know we're here to support you and help you through this until it passes and you are in a happier mind set. Just remember to practice some self-care and try to get that vibration back up. This world needs more people like you!

michelle
@michelle
4 weeks ago
63 posts

@alexisw Hi Alexis! 🖖

Wow, you're really down in the dumps. You are young compared to many here and it's easy for us older folks to forget how raw and intense youth can be.

Because I was born aware, I think it gave me an advantage to being an empath. I take it more for granted. I always saw it as a part of who I am. And yet we tend to speak of our abilities; as if it is separate from us.

Here's my take on how an empath functions best, moving day 2 day, through our world. We are all empaths on this forum but we're all different. Each person is a unique empath. It is merged with their personality which influences their empath characteristics, while they influence the personality. You can't really separate them.

The coolest thing about being an empath is that to be really good at it is as easy as being yourself! You do your work by living your life. It is your life that takes you where you need to be, where are your special talents can shine.... they'll be there when you need them, particular to what is needed.

You'll be there when someone needs the understanding that only a person like you can give. This is why we don't turn them on or off... they don't work that way. You're like an extension of the Creator here on Earth!

And it's hard to be bombarded with the darker energy of humanity and Society. But there's a flip side to that; where you're just being yourself and enjoying your life. When you're with friends or you meet interesting strangers you get to feel all that more than most. You bring compassion to the world empathy to the world love to the world. And you don't have to do anything because it moves as an energy wave outward from you and in this way you change the world for the better.

I've gone through some very dark times. Where I doubted myself. Where I was disappointed in myself; sometimes even disgusted. But you know what? Those were some of my greatest learning periods. I had to learn a lot about myself to be able to be myself. I'm still learning!

I've often pondered If part of my work here is just to observe. Because we observe everything. Spirit is all about energy and that is what we perceive best. There's a field all around us that connects us, connects the whole world. Empaths more than anyone can communicate and send forth energy to this field. Do you know what the energy of this is called? It's emotions. Its emotions, that fuel the intent in all prayers, affirmations, and healings.

I want you to do something for me and yourself. Close your eyes.

Place one or both of your hands on your heart and turn your attention there. Breathe In and Out through your nose slowing your breath down to about five counts each way. Slow your breath, in and out till you feel calm

Now imagine your breaths flowing in and out through your heart. Slow breaths in and out of your heart.

Now, I want you to remember something from your past where you felt love or compassion or gratitude. Something that caused one of these Noble emotions to rise in you. Maybe even just the love of a pet while holding that pet. Now, hold that feeling while slowly breathing in and out through your heart hold that for 1 minute.

Imagine that lovely energy field around your heart begin to grow to extend into the room to extend into your house to extend out into your neighborhood.

That's the secret to being an empath and changing the world. I can guarantee you that if you use this one minute exercise here and there throughout the day or when you hit a really rough patch, you will feel elevated after you do it.

Continue to do it as a very easy discipline and you will start to heal your wounded soul.

Hugs,

Michelle❤


updated by @michelle: 11/16/18 04:56:52PM
Just Stevie
Just Stevie
@just-stevie
4 weeks ago
163 posts
That exercise sounds great but I have absolutely no imagination. I can't even see how things could; look like moving a couch. It has to be physically moved for me to know if it looks good there. I can't imagine shields or force fields or meditate. I try but nothing. I try to look at the blue water in the pool and the identical blue in the sky when there is absolutely no clouds and pretend it surrounds me but I draw a blank. Maybe because I don't retain sights in my memory.
I used to be in retail management. Sometimes I would have to check on something for a customer. When I would return I couldn't find the customer. I couldn't remember male, female, white, black, young or old. So I would walk around until the customer found me. Then I would say "Oh, there you are!" LOL
michelle
@michelle
4 weeks ago
63 posts
@just-stevie

That's okay if you can't imagine well. There isn't much visualization in this exercise anyway. I'll modify the exercise for you and maybe you could get your husband to read it to you.

Close your eyes.

Breathe through your nose in and out.

As you breathe in and out through your nose slow your breath down. Keep breathing slowly until you feel calm.

Now put your hand on your chest area where your heart would be. Keep breathing in and out through your nose.

Feel your hand on your heart and bring up the feeling of love. Feel love.

Stay in this position breathing slowly and feeling love. One minute of this is all you need.

Stevie, it's the feeling of the emotion that is key to this exercise which in actuality is meditation. Our hearts automatically generate an energy field which fills our body and naturally projects into the atmosphere.

Having someone read this to you should help. Have them do this with you in the morning and before you go to bed.

I think having someone to read to you first will help you get the hang of it. I chose for you to feel love because love is the one true emotion. All other positive emotions like compassion and gratitude are different shades of love. Negative emotions are false where love is actually the Love of our Creator.

Visualisations are creative ways some use to focus their thoughts. But you can think and you can feel and that's really all you need. As you get more comfortable doing this with somebody reading to you you'll be filling yourself with the God's healing love.

As you get the hang of this, bring up the feeling you have when you were grateful, like when somebody did something really kind for you. Also, gratitude is what you would feel when you realize,"Hey! I can do this!"

By then, you will be able to do this for yourself, anytime you want or need to. I have great faith in you and so does our Creator.

Happy Days,💥💓💗
Michelle
Just Stevie
Just Stevie
@just-stevie
4 weeks ago
163 posts
Thank you Michelle I will try it; but I am on my own
My husband already thinks I am certifiable because of what he refers to as my "ghosty" stuff
No one else around
Aiden
Aiden
@aiden
4 weeks ago
39 posts

Even in this community, with everyone so special and unique and just so precious in this world, i feel like I'm left out somewhere, like I don't even fit here.

@AlexisW

This really stood out to me in this post as I have always felt the same and wondered if other Empaths have ever felt like they completely "fit in." Since i was a kid, i have always felt i was on the outside looking in. I still feel like this as an adult. Whether it was in school, with friends, extracurricular activities, work, on online forums. I always feel like an odd ball and never truly feel like I'm part of whats going on.  I'm never  "lost" or consumed by people or things that are happening around me. It's always been an awareness of " ok i am hanging out with this group or i am doing  this particular activity but this doesn't define or represent who i am, it's just something im doing in this moment". idk if that makes sense at all... As i have gotten older I've accepted it and just figure that I'm experiencing this world differently than a lot of people and im ok with that now. 

The irony with this feeling is that no one would ever know i feel this way. I'm usually well liked and welcomed into most situations. I can adapt to literally any role, environment etc with ease  ( guess that is the empath part of me that just absorbs everything around me) while remaining aware that im doing so. This was particularly difficult in high school being that I befriended individuals from various cliques and thought the idea of just have one specific group of friends was so ridiculous. This resulted in some unfriending me lol. What can ya do?  I have even gone to MeetUp groups with other mediums, empaths, psychics etc and although we all share similar experiences, I still feel like the outsider who is intruding or kinda just watching.

Do most of you feel like you truly fit in when it comes to different social situations or people? 

I also believe in the power of music and writing for healing so i am posting lyrics to a song that has helped me get through difficult times 



It's hard to explain 
Inherently it's just always been strange 
Neither here nor there 
Always somewhat out of place everywhere 
Ambiguous 
Without a sense of belonging to touch 
Somewhere halfway 
Feeling there's no one completely the same



Standing alone 



Eager to just 
Believe it's good enough to be what 
You really are 
But in your heart 
Uncertainty forever lies 
And you'll always be 
Somewhere on the 
Outside



Early on, you face 
The realization you don't 
Have a space 
Where you fit in 
And recognize you 
Were born to exist



And it's hard 
And it's hard 
And it's hard




Irreversibly 
Falling in between 
And it's hard
And it's hard
To be understood 
As you are 
As you are



Oh, and God knows 
That you're standing on your own 
Blind and unguided 
Into a world divided 
You're thrown 
Where you're never quite the same 
Although you try, try and try 
To tell yourself 
You really are 
But in your heart uncertainty forever lies 
And you'll always be 
Somewhere on the outside


You'll always be
Somewhere on the outside


Outside by Mariah Carey


updated by @aiden: 11/19/18 08:42:10AM
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
4 weeks ago
1,378 posts

Re: not fitting in

Does anyone else think maybe most of us feel like we don't belong because we did not come from here? I feel like I came here from somewhere else, somewhere way older and more advanced. I have seen the place in detail often when meditating. 

IME, we can adapt to any role and fit in temporarily, especially those of us who have the INFJ personality type, since that is one of it's traits. But for me, as I got older, it became more and more difficult to force myself to be fake, even for a little bit or for a little while. It wears you down, so I do not recommend putting yourself in those situations too often, so you don't wear your self out when you are young like I did. 

Aiden
Aiden
@aiden
4 weeks ago
39 posts

Cheshire Cat:

Re: not fitting in

Does anyone else think maybe most of us feel like we don't belong because we did not come from here? I feel like I came here from somewhere else, somewhere way older and more advanced. I have seen the place in detail often when meditating. 

IME, we can adapt to any role and fit in temporarily, especially those of us who have the INFJ personality type, since that is one of it's traits. But for me, as I got older, it became more and more difficult to force myself to be fake, even for a little bit or for a little while. It wears you down, so I do not recommend putting yourself in those situations too often, so you don't wear your self out when you are young like I did. 

Absolutely! When i was maybe 5 or 6, I started telling my friends that i had a "secret." My secret was that i was really an alien who was accidentally dropped on this planet and that my real family would rescue me one day. Where in the world could i have gotten that from? lol. I was so serious about what I was saying and genuinely felt it in my 5 year old heart. I just knew i had to be from a different planet, frequency, life time etc   

And you're right, i am also INFJ so it makes sense. Being 31 now, it has become extremely difficult to fake it. I quit a really good job because i couldn't stand to be in such a fake and toxic environment. I was spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally drained. The money wasn't worth it to me in the end. These days, I'm working really hard to be self- employed and not have to abide by stupid rules and a "boss." 


updated by @aiden: 11/19/18 08:54:25AM
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
4 weeks ago
1,378 posts

@aiden,

Good for you to recognize this before it's too late! A job I hated, but felt I had to stick with was the last straw for my immune system, and at age 34, I became seriously ill. It ruined my life. I wish you all the success in the world at being your own boss. :-)

If you are able to do lucid dreaming and/or can mediate deeply, you might be able to find out exactly where you came from, like I did, or at least I've got a heck of an imagination, lol. That feeling of being an alien at such a young age is pretty telling, unless you watched a lot of UFO movies as a kid. When I was a kid, there were no UFO movies, lol. I just  always knew that I was part of an all encompassing, sentient oneness, which included trees, plants, animals, etc., and I could not handle the way in which other people treated them as inferior. For example, xmas trees being cut down made me cry and also made me very angry. I got a lot of side glances over things like that, and I'm sure you know what I mean!

Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
4 weeks ago
977 posts

Lol..there have been times I've looked at my fellow humans in complete disgust...I get grossed out over how the human body works. Its fascinating at the same time. Lol...at times I find myself thinking 'why did I want a human body?' or I wonder 'why any spirit would WANT a human body as how it function is quite disgusting.. lol...so yes my reactions and thoughts are not quite in keeping with 'normal' humans. And yes I've always felt I've never fit in. With my family it's my being adopted and them not quite accepting me as I am that explains that part...and yet here as well I feel I don't quite fit in either...at work i don't fit in..etc etc etc...and it's frustrating and lonely yet not...lol...it's all weird...lol


updated by @womanwhowalks: 11/19/18 04:04:26PM
Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
4 weeks ago
944 posts

@cheshire-cat:

From reading so many posts here over the past few years I have observed that quite a few community members say that they don't feel like they belong in this world. I wanted to share that I normally don't feel like that. I don't know why. But I have a very strong feeling that I'm supposed to be here and this is my home for now in this world. But I can at times feel like I don't belong when I'm low vibration or in a new setting like a new job. I used to think it was insecurity. But it may just be me picking up on inquisitive energies from a new environment. However, for the others like you who often feel they don't belong, I can understand that. I think it may have something to do with being torn between two worlds (here and the hereafter). You may have a real deep seated connection to the other side.

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
4 weeks ago
1,378 posts

@hop-daddy,

You hit the nail on the head. I had a reading once where the psychic said she saw tiny holes all over my aura that are leaking my chi energy, and she said she only sees that when the person has one foot here and one foot on the other side, and does not really want to be here. 

@womanwhowalks,

   I sometimes see people as various stages of rotting meat. I thought it was just me who was PO'd about having a body. Thanks for having the courage to post that. I sometimes have tantrums about having the very sick, high maintenance body I have now, which requires several hours of work to keep going day to day. It seems ungrateful, but I have asked to have a walk-in who wants to be on earth take over for me, and so far there are no takers, lol. 

Just Stevie
Just Stevie
@just-stevie
3 weeks ago
163 posts

Passed my Expiration Date

I think I am done!

I just can't deal with the anger and pain in this world anymore. I feel it all too much. More & more less & less makes sense. Everything seems so primative. I have removed myself from as much as I can. Even family are hard maybe even harder to endure. I don't understand life choices and values. Life in general seems pointless. I mean really, why? What purpose does it serve. Every aspect of human life seems so primal. Human functioning is becoming hard to relate to. I have filled my life with caring and sharing, achievements and accomplishments. I have been a good helpful person. I just feel like I have done all I can do. 

I can't perceive what could be next but this just isn't it

I never felt like I belonged here. I used to think maybe I was some alien dropped off in the wrong place. LOL

I don't know if all this was enhanced by being tossed into a paranormal world I had never believed in and still don't understand.  I don't know if it is because of excelerated unexplained failing health or the failing health is caused by a paranormal force. I am driven to explore but held back by a feeling of a less than trustful presence I can not be rid of and even with currently being on the upper end of the power struggle it's still incorporated into my life. It is a viewable matrix that surrounds  

I was ignorant to "Empathic" most of my life. I thought everyone had the same feelings as I did and couldn't understand why others were not relating.

Fibromyalgia finally explained so much of health problems from earlier on and I embraced it; happy not to have to search for cures anymore. Although not connected I have lived with pain ever since I can remember starting with migranes and expanding. It wasn't until long after I was diagnosed that I realized that feeling some sort of pain constantly wasn't the norm. I still can't imagine what it would be like not to feel pain somewhere for even one day.

michelle
@michelle
3 weeks ago
63 posts
@just-stevie

Sweetie I don't know what's going on in your life but it feels heavy.
The following was written by Tom Montalk. Please give it a read and see if you can find relief by following his advice:

LIFELINE

Emotional negativity is a form of intoxication. It impairs perception and judgment. The intellect becomes slave to emotion and begins defending it, creating a vicious cycle in which thoughts bias perception and biased perception reinforces negativity.

Soon the mind sees what it wants to see and finds endless reasons to indulge in cynicism and depression — injustice, betrayal, suspicion, despair, stupidity, etc…

In most cases, this downward spiral is initiated and sustained by influences that have no basis in reason. The mind isn’t even aware of the true reasons for its irritated or suppressed state. All it takes is a chemical imbalance, an abrasive astrological influence, a trigger word stirring some subconscious wound, a bad dream you don’t remember, or a small irritation suddenly “ruining” your day.

But these are relatively benign aggravators. More serious ones include psychic attack, entity attachments, subliminal persuasion through implants, remote scalar modulation of emotional frequency rate, and triggering of posthypnotic commands following abduction and mind programming.

Nevertheless, the exact cause isn’t as important as the solution. When you’re feeling down, you’re feeling down. How to climb out of that pit?

The biggest problem is that negative emotions limit perception, meaning you fail to recognize, remember, or observe the positive side of things. That is because when your emotional state is lowered, your focal point of consciousness has descended into the baser self and is looking through its dark eyes, identifying with its skewed perception.

The baser self is an infantile creature, both predator and victim. It enjoys your suffering, your hatred and anger, your contempt and resentment. Often we merge so closely with this creature that we feel what it feels, which is why at some level we enjoy wallowing in negativity. But remember this is not the real you — this is you feeling the pleasure your baser self derives from the suffocation of your spirit. If you pay attention, you will notice a part of your own mind in the background that is calm and unaffected, that has to forget itself if it wants to indulge in the negative wallowing. You can return to this calm observer mind, and from there catapult yourself to a positive state.

When you are drowning in negativity you need a lifeline to pull yourself back to shore. Something must lead from your drunken state to sober state in order for you to follow. Without it, you are not equipped to make that transition. It’s like trying to get home but being too drunk to walk, let alone drive; best to have a sober friend help you.

One example of a self-reinforcing cycle is paranoia. This is a particulary sticky trap for the intellect. Trying to reason your way out of biased suspicions will only sink you deeper because a clever mind is clever at coming up with rationalizations for its delusions. There are some problems for which reason alone is insufficient. I learned this the hard way and had to transcend reason in order to break out of the cycle, and that hard-won lesson is the focus of this research note.

I eventually comprehended that breaking out of a vicious cycle requires the injection of an element that originates outside that cycle of biased logic. Otherwise the cycle is self-reinforcing. For instance, when the mind alternates between sobriety and drunkenness, both states seem valid and justified while one is experiencing them, even though only the first is truly valid. Both sober and drunk people may believe they can drive well, but the drunk ones are deluding themselves.

During states of what ultimately turned out to be unjustified negativity, rather than reasoningmy way out of it I simply pulled myself up a rope leading toward a more balanced state. This rope is simply a prayer, an affirmation, a meditation, an inspirational book — something mechanical that serves as an aid in regaining balance. Only when emotions are balanced is the mind qualified to make proper assessment of the facts. Until then, a bit of faith is required in using what is basically an emotional device, a lifeline.

As mentioned earlier, negativity clouds perception and subjectively rearranges, distorts, and blots out the perceived facts. But a prayer, meditation, sequence of spiritual facts coming from a place of sobriety and anchored in place via print or rote memory, this survives any transition you make into negativity and serves as a lifeline back to clarity and balance.

Forget reasoning your way out of negativity — first get a grip on your emotions. Break the cycle of subjectivity by contemplating a prewritten or pre-memorized sequence of phrases that captures the essence of a balanced perception. Yes this is a crutch, but it’s better to hobble than to crawl. It’s the easiest method, a quick fix for desparate situations.

The reason it works is because you acknowledge that your perceptions are skewed and thereby withdraw your energy from illusion. You also acquire faith to temporarily put aside the petitions of the baser self and instead wait for your vibes to lift before making any decisions or conclusions. Once your emotional state has risen to equilibrium, perception returns to normal and you are then in a better position to make decisions and act upon them.

So the key is bypassing an intellect intoxicated with negative emotions by turning your attention toward thoughts and feelings designated as sober by sobersources. The only hard part is willing yourself to give it a try since the baser self is very reluctant to give up its joyride and will initially resist throughyou. Do it anyway. Become aware of the calm observer at the center of your self-awareness, and then shift gears by using a lifeline.

If this idea appeals to you, try creating your own lifeline to call upon when necessary. The one I use employs a hermetic axiom stating that vibrations can be changed in degrees. So starting with the most negative of positive emotions, sorrow, I raise myself degree by degree. For illustrative purposes, here is one that works for me:

Sorrow for the wounded,
Compassion for the wounded.
Understanding of the ignorant, 
Acceptance of the ignorant.
To know that everything has been in its right place, 
Is in its right place, and will continue to be in its right place.
That’s why I have comfort in the past,
Gratitude in the present, and hope for the future.
I thank the Universe for this opportunity
To live and shine my light,
To guide and be guided,
To love and be loved.

Here, each line is pondered in its full meaning before going to the next. That is important, as the mechanical serves only as a template for your emotional, intellectual, and spiritual to follow. Just mumbling the words without thought does nothing. You can boil them down to just a sequence of words: sorrow, compassion, understanding, acceptance, relief, hope, gratitude, love, purpose.

Sometimes it is enough to turn within and focus on the feeling of profound peace. Actually, with sufficient willpower and focus you can dispense with mechanical tools altogether and simply turn within, remember your spiritual self, and thereby raise yourself to an exalted state.

But when under severe pressure, and here I mean an all out hyperdimensional “lesson,” (they hit you from the inside and outside simultaneously, at your weakest spots at your weakest moments) the mechanical method is a literal godsend.

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