Does it seem like Empathy is disappearing? You're not imagining it!

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 months ago
1,378 posts

I read an article from Psychology Today by Peter Gray, PhD, entitled: "Why Is Narcissism Increasing Among Young Americans?". 

To summarize, it said that studies of thousands of college students over time show 70% of today's group are significantly more narcissistic and less empathetic than their counterparts were 30 years ago. Specifically, there was 30% more narcissism, and 40% less empathy now than there was then. 

So, if you are feeling more and more like your empathy is the exception, not the rule, you are right. The author says he thinks the lack of free play time for kids is to blame. Kids who are allowed plenty of unstructured play will reward caring, cooperative, empathic behavior and shun kids who are selfish and do not play well. Since we are social in nature, this teaches the shunned ones to correct that behavior. Having every minute planned and structured does not allow for any of that, and it is necessary for kids to learn empathy. He also said this lack of free, creative time is causing depression and anxiety in older kids. 

I hope we can all agree that empathy is needed to have any kind of a decent society. What do you think should be done about this trend? Are there any other things you believe are causing this problem or adding fuel to the fire? I can think of a few, but would like to know what you all think.....

Cheshire Cat


updated by @cheshire-cat: 10/12/18 10:40:21AM
Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
2 months ago
944 posts

The graph on the wall 
Tells the story of it all
Picture it now
See just how the lies and deceit
Gained a little more power
Confidence taken in by a sun tan and a grin


The grabbing hands
Grab all they can
All for themselves after all
The grabbing hands
Grab all they can
All for themselves after all


It's a competitive world
Everything counts in large amounts

-Depeche Mode "Everything Counts"

A snipit of lyrics from one of my favorite songs from 1983. We had a pretty selfish materialistic western world back then. But we weren't nasty to each other like our society is today. But the lyrics still hold true even today.

@cheshire-cat:

I think vanity and ego are tools used by the devil to tear humans away from empathy for one another. I don't mean that literally, but the concept is there. I mean has anything good ever come from having a huge ego or by being extremely vain about one's appearance? These are unfortunate human traits that bring out the worst in all of us. And our current social media technology and culture celebrates and praises huge egos and narcissism. 

I think since narcissism and empathy are polar opposites, that our society has swung pretty much full tilt to the narcissism side. I do expect that to change and swing back to where we are either centered or more to the empathy sign with kindness toward fellow man. But it normally takes a cultural tragedy for that to happen. Something bad has to happen in order for people to wake up and realize that we're being selfish and awful to each other as as society. 

In the meantime, I think those of us who are naturally empathic can do our part by trying to teach people to be less selfish and more caring to one another.

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 months ago
1,378 posts

@hop-daddy,

Thanks, those song lyrics really fit this discussion well. 

I've been alarmed when watching videos on empath subjects on YT, and reading the comments. An large minority of younger people seem to think empathy is "a mental illness" or "a weakness". That is terrifying, and I agree we need to fight back and somehow make it cool to care. It's Cool to Care would be a good motto, actually. Empathy is absolutely necessary for a moral and compassionate society.

I hope the pendulum swings back, as you say, but as you know, there may be forces behind the scenes orchestrating this for their own gain.

I also want to be clear that I do not want this thread to start a generational war. This change may be seen mostly in the young, but it was us oldies who raised them that way, so we all need to work together to fix it. 

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
2 months ago
944 posts

@cheshire-cat:

People who are entrenched in their narcissism don't see any downside to it. For them it's "me-me-me" and "grab all I can for myself in this world no matter who I hurt". Decades ago our society made fun of and shamed people who were like that. But now our culture celebrates narcissism and the cult of personality. It's really hard for people to care about others when they are drunk on narcissism. And I think young people, just like when I was young, are very impressionable and want to fit in with the times and don't always question whether what they are doing is selfish or hurtful to others. And if you think about it, why would they? They have grown up watching kids their own age become YT stars and millionaires by doing mostly stupid selfish self promotion. But the problem is not just with the younger generation. It's pretty wide-spread for people who are in their 30s, 40s, and 50s as well. It's not as in your face as it is with youth, but it's still pretty well represented.

Cat Whisperer
Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
2 months ago
780 posts
The selfie movement....didn’t say generation as to not point fingers, and anyhow, all ages do selfies
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 months ago
1,378 posts

@hop-daddy,

 Phew! I am safe since I'm in my 60's, lol. I think (and hope) you are talking about people with varying narcissistic characteristics, rather than full blown NPD, which is still supposedly rare. 

Dr. Gray says the self esteem movement when they were kids is also to blame for the entitlement, etc. All the trophies just for showing up, the grades just for coming to class, etc. and constantly being told you are special for no reason, etc. 

People with full blown NPD, which is set in stone by age 4, cannot be helped, but I pray the narc tendencies can...but HOW?

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 months ago
1,378 posts

@cat-whisperer,

 Yes, that too! Did you happen to see the article about all the people who have died while taking selfies? Really horrible that this happens. Falling off cliffs, etc. is the number one way. I have seen people walk full force into glass doors. 

This brings up the issue of whether tech is causing a lot of this all by itself.....I think it is. If so, what can we do about that? It seems overwhelming. Nobody wants to give up the convenience of tech.

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
2 months ago
944 posts

I was just re-reading this post and realized that I sounded a bit doom and gloom. I wanted to say that there are plenty of good, kind-hearted people that I have met and regularly interact with. But it just so happens that whenever you turn on a TV, or overhear my kids listening to rap music, the narc messages come through loud and clear. And its infected all walks of life. I'm a big NFL fan. And I think everyone knows that football is a team sport where all 11 guys on the field for a team need to be working together as one team in order to be successful. And as a result, NFL teams are going through their own struggles with some of their most talented players who are incredibly narcissistic and are poisonous to the welfare of the team. For my fellow NFL fans out there, one can see exactly what I mean with the NY Giants current struggles with their diva wide receiver OBJ.

But I digress. Back to the topic. Have you ever noticed that people who are narcs are truly unhappy people deep down inside? No matter how much fame and wealth they gain for themselves, they are always complaining and wanting more. And that unfortunately spreads like a cancer in society as others emulate and strive for celebrity. But on the flip side, I notice unselfish people are generally happy. 

I have also noticed that people who are very absorbed by their phones and social media, tend to be very anxious and unhappy. Whereas those that are off the grid or limit their social media, are generally pretty happy people. 

I feel that social media and narcissism is like a poison. And for those falling under that spell, they want the rest of the world to think that their life is epic and great. But yet in reality, they are unhappy inside. I think there is a lesson there that I hope we all figure out as a society.

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 months ago
1,378 posts

@hop-daddy,

The symptoms you've just described sound like the very definition of addiction! We already have research showing social media creates a dopamine addiction in many people. So, do we treat this problem like an addiction to narcissism? I think you're onto something there. 

I also think Dr. Gray is right about unsupervised play time though. It fosters both empathy and creativity. We need to bring recess back again, for starters. We need to teach people that self esteem must be earned. Also, that nothing will make you happier than helping others. Help others and watch your self esteem go up, etc. These things were just common sense when I was growing up. That would help with the narc stuff, but what about raising empathy?

I agree that narcs are unhappy; after all they are very insecure down deep. I do know people who are unselfish who are unhappy though, esp. empaths, who tend to give themselves away totally, often to people who do nothing but take, and/or are toxic, and then they have nothing of themselves left. I did that for a long time. I think there has to be a balance. 

TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
2 months ago
457 posts
I can say that a majority of the younger generation at my work don't want to work as hard, but expect and feel they should earn $75k-$100k a year. Along with 4 weeks Vaca off the bat. Now, not all or like that, some work hard and don't complain.

The entitlement alone from them and the jelousy radiates down the cubicles. I recall making a comment once about trying grass as a kid, and one is like that's disgusting. Yes it is I said, and it tastes very green. So is sliding down a slide after a kid peed on it. But we didn't care as children growing up and we are fine, and that we also didn't have ipads to play on.

The selfies drive me nuts on social media. I read an article that selfies are from people lacking self confidence and narcissist traits. All to get people to like their photos and comment on how god the look. A cry for attn.

One another thing to note as well, no one can do anything alone. For heavens sake I had a coworker who wouldn't go to Starbucks alone to get coffee cause she felt like she had no friends and looked stupid. If you feel like having a cup of coffee, go and get it.

I do agree that technology I'd pullING us away from social interaction. I'm single and 39 and don't get hit on the bars like I did at 23. Even in social groups people are always on their phones. I don't get that, put it away.
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 months ago
1,378 posts

@TigerLily,

    WOW is all I can say about those salary expectations. It is much worse than I thought. 

    I also wish someone would explain to me why you'd bother to get together with others, if you are going to be on your phone??? I hope someone younger will post and explain that one.

     When you are my age, and your friends have all moved far away, lost touch due to the demands of taking care of kids and their parents and working, or are sick at home, or have died, you will wish you had just a couple of those people to talk to face to face. 

     Every piece of research done on what makes people happy has found it is the quality of our relationships, period. Who are you most likely to get that quality from? Your childhood friends. Researchers wondered why they always found that people who stayed within 50 miles of where they grew up were happiest, and narrowed it down to just one thing, keeping your childhood friends. It seems like people just discard others when they move now, as if friends are all the same and interchangeable. I do not understand that one either. 

     I guess I am just obsolete in this new society. Either that, or we've really screwed ourselves over, and have a long way to go to get back to Pooh corner! How can we get back what we've lost or create it again?

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
2 months ago
944 posts

Funny related story (but actually kind of pathetic). A good friend of mine is a 55 year old doctor and is President of a cardiology firm. And the way it works there as with many companies is when you are a new doctor to their group you typically don't get the choice hospital rotation hours and can get stuck with some of the holiday and night shifts. And then when you've worked there longer you gain more seniority and get the better daytime shift assignments. So they hired 3-4 new doctors who are in a certain age group right out of medical school. And these young docs come in and within a few weeks of being on the job band together at a meeting and demand better hour assignments and overtime pay and bonuses for any shifts worked after 6PM at night. They cited how talented they were coming from all these cushy medical schools. And despite being new doctors with almost no experience, they acted like the rest of the doctor group was lucky to have them and made incredibly selfish demands. You can imagine how well this went over with the rest of the doctor partners.

But this is a systematic problem of entitlement and narcissism. And I don't know if that goes away when people get older or is that here to stay? 

TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
2 months ago
457 posts
I can speak to the long distance. When I moved to Arizona at 27, people just started dropping like flies. Now I get I was 2000 miles away, and maybe we missed each other. But that's no excuse to just stop answering my calls, or text messages, or emails. When I would return back to visit my parents, and would reach out weeks in advance, crickets. But when people planned to visit me, I welcomed in open arms. Sure, you want a break from Chicago weather and stay with me where it's warm, but don't want to see me when I'm there???
When I moved back everyone's life had changed, and I came back in shambles. Just being around loved ones was the best therapy, but they started their own lives and that was all that mattered and how you can contribute to the new times of "couple outtings". That hurt since I my ex had cheated on me and we parted, and I love being with my friends. Now it's changed a bit as we got older, and I notice now why I was set on that path originally. I was ment to have my own life. My one childhood friend now is like a narc. But she moved to Arizona when I came back. Only now wants me to move back there for her sake, and has asked repeatedly over the years. My other one, we'll he was pushed to the side for being with a woman of color. How awful of that?? Who cares, she's a great human being and I adore her! Now he sees I don't care about that like all the others in the group, and we hang out alot current day. Just like the gold ole days.
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 months ago
1,378 posts

@hop-daddy,

My primary doctor is 61 and recently he told me about a CEU class he went to with many young doctors. The speaker, who my doctor said is a bad doctor, told about a new plan to see more patients per hour and make a lot more money without having to help the patients. The young doctors gave him a standing ovation and my doctor got up and walked out. 

Unfortunately, there is a doctor shortage, especially of primary doctors, so they may get what they want. It may be worse here, since we have the worst shortage of any urban area so far. it was the total lack of ethics that floored me. Narcissistic people are out for themselves. That normally does not go away. I wonder if there is a way to change it though, like strict societal sanctions....that would be hard when most people think that way though. 


updated by @cheshire-cat: 10/12/18 04:35:08PM
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 months ago
1,378 posts

@tigerlily,

Good for you! You did not lower yourself to their level and you kept at least one good friend out of the deal. :-)

If it helps any, I can testify that sometimes when you do keep old friends who are far away, like I (mostly) have, they can change over time into someone you don't even like anymore, let alone love., or you grow enough recognize serious issues, like your friend being a narc.  I try to stick with it out of loyalty, and sometimes got hurt badly. While old friends are usually the most understanding, since they know your backstory and know WHY you do what you do and think how you think, they can end up being so different that there is no common ground. It is not all them of course, we also change over time. 

TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
2 months ago
457 posts
That is awful about the Drs. Reminds me of those young ones at work that just want a quick buck and not put much effort into it. There is a young man at work who I suspect may have empathy, but stuck in a tornado of narc like me. I just noticed this. He communicates well, he understands, and he TRIES!!! Not like these others that have no idea how to communicate and just demand. The spoiled one at work plays the stock market and got all upset how he lost several thousands of dollars.

As for friends, quality vs quantity mean the most to me. I was so heartbroken my friend Mark moved to the west coast, but he needed to for work and his family. But yet I also smacked him and told him "why didn't you tell me you were when I want to move there too and all my talk of it" I suspected he's of soul family as he has always had something about him that I loved from day one. At least when and if I move there I'll have a friend.
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 months ago
1,378 posts

Hi TL,

I hope there is a way you can promote that one hard working young man at your job. Talk him up to the boss above the narc's level, write him a recommendation, or whatever helps him. We love complain about bad people, but rarely take time to applaud the good ones who need encouragement. Why should they be good when they see the ruthless get ahead instead of them and when psychopaths run everything?

This is one reason empathy dies, imo. I've written letters to people's bosses when I get excellent help or service and given a copy to the employee to use as he sees fit. They look so happy and surprised, as if they never get praise for jobs well done, and I bet they don't!

I never got offered raises, except once, and while I got praise, I also got suspicion that nobody could possibly do as much work as I had, so I must be cheating somehow. The last job I left had to hire 4 people to replace me. I was a fool to work that hard for nothing, so I partly understand why they don't want to these days. Nobody trusts anyone now, and you have to give in order to get, but that works from both sides. Too late, I understand I should have been pushy about raises, but being that assertive is so hard for me. As an empath, I think people should consider it from my point of view and offer me one, since I would do it for them. Others just are not like that for the most part.

As for the doctors, I cannot comprehend why they feel they cannot help their patients while also making money, or worse why my doc said they seemed so gleeful that they wouldn't have to, almost as if they hate us. They already make an average of 6 times what the average family of 4 makes. When I was young, they made 2 times as much, and were quite happy with that, plus they came to your house when you were sick, knew your whole family, and you could pay them w/o ins. in the middle to quadruple the cost. If they needed lab work, they drew your blood at your home and took it with them! 

I think we are living in a repeat of the fall of the Roman empire, the British empire, or any other previous one you can name. It is sad, but they all rise and fall the same way, or so it seems.

TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
4 weeks ago
457 posts
@chesire-cat i told his boss what an amazing job he does and many other great things and she said "yes I know that, thank you" she's a tool herself. Told me to get my boss involved on a issue, of which my boss didn't help. And in the end that tool said "thanks for your help" when i got it resolved. These people and their impatience with inflated egos, I know that company and people better than my boss.
We have an internal recognition award program at work. When someone does great, I submit recognitions. I probaby have sent hundreds and sometimes to the same people who continue to go above and beyond. It goes up the chain to upper mgmt. I email their bosses personally as well. I have had managers email me tHankins me for sending it out and how much it makes a difference. I remind the youngens and older crabby workers once in a while to send these out. The rude comments I get of "why should I praise someone for doing their job" it's just toxic.
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
4 weeks ago
1,378 posts

@tigerlily,

That is very sad, but I am not surprised. I guess all you can do is be a beacon of light in that sea of darkness, and maybe some others will decide to join you and shine their lights too. 

TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
4 weeks ago
457 posts
@chesire-cat that is a good way to look at it. But you know as an empath you can feel the rage of their ignorance when you are happy and bright. It's good that I have somewhat of humor, as when they get snippy, I get snippy funny back. I don't like to do this always as it is draining. But it is nice to see the other beacons of light do it. The negativity from those crabby.

Today I over heard a millenial say, "But that's how we millenials are, it has to be given as we expect it" I held back not going over there saying "and as your gen x superior like myself, we expect you work for it as like many of your other leaders in this company and maybe then you will have earned it"
michelle
@michelle
4 weeks ago
63 posts
I developed a Theory concerning the lack of empathy in our younger people. Which was later backed up by something I read.

After my son was potty trained, I put him in one of the many daycares I visited before making my choice. I was an older mom and my friends kids we're all in high school or college. So we were a little isolated and I put him in daycare so he would have a chance to be with other kids.

I used to work in the corporate world but after having my son, I worked under the table cleaning houses so I could be there for him at any time. Also, if he or I got sick the world wasn't going to end if somebody's house didn't get cleaned on that day.

I became good friends with the daycare owner and had a lot of time to spend at the daycare observing the kids. The ones that had anger issues would invariably end up sitting on the couch in her office. I asked if these kids were there since they were babies. This was always the case.

Back in the baby room I would watch one person spoon feeding a semicircle a baby's in high chairs. If they cried they could not pick every baby up and many we're left to cry.

There was many a sick kid in that day care because the mothers couldn't take time off work. I used to sit with one little boy and rub his back to calm him because he always had earaches.

My theory was that the children placed in daycare since babyhood were the ones that would later lack empathy. Then I read an article which stated that there is a very narrow window of opportunity for empathy to develop and this is during early childhood. A child learns empathy from his or her caregiver.

Now not all people who lack empathy went to daycare but I do think that this is one of the reasons why this is so frequent in our society. The rest may not develop empathy due to overworked and exhausted parents and or due to
inept parenting skills, which I also see in many parents.
TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
4 weeks ago
457 posts
@Michelle this makes a lot of sense. A lot of my friends have their kids in daycare. I have a few coworkers who''s wives had quit because the cost of daycare alone wasn't worth working to pay for it and someone else raise their child. Essentially working to pay for someone else's salary. They are also the ones that budget their money better. But, there those that don't cause they need that extra money to pay for other things or make a lot and can afford it.
The world has gotten to complicated and expensive. We have extra bills now that didn't exist when my parents worked with all the internet, cell phone, cable, etc. Heat and electric is more, gas etc. And if you live in illinois, it's taxes. We are the second in the nation for highest property taxes, and on still top for the overall tax ratio. But yet don't have the salaries to compensate for cost of living. Some have no choice but to work to pay for daycare and taxes, from those expenses. Illinois is having a decline in population from people moving out, and since Illinois can't budget they raise taxes again.
I don't deny one bit that daycare is one part of the equation. But there are many other factors as well. The world being more complicated, materialistic, the govt, corporate america. Greed from money is another part of it. Debt just keeps rising and so does the population of narcs.
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
4 weeks ago
1,378 posts

@michelle,

Hmm...this is my thread but I did not get notification of your post, just Tiger Lily's that came after it. Strange!

Anyway, I thought your post was very much on target. True Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the hallmark of which is a total lack of empathy, is most often created in infancy, when the child does not bond with the primary caregiver, usually due to that caregiver being preoccupied with an older child she is totally doting on, a spouse who gets all her attention, or, in recent decades, a drug addiction or workaholism, basically anything or anyone that drastically lowers the time spent in forming a tight bonding, and then allows the child to start pushing away from that bond to become a separate individual, while still retaining the bonded feeling to the primary caregiver. This is how the child comprehends that there is more than one person (himself) in the world. That is very important, because a lack of this understanding is why Narcs have no empathy. They are the only real person here in their minds, and you are just another part of them, so if you are not thinking and acting just like them, it is as if for example, their right hand balled into a fist and kept punching them in the face....it is unthinkable and intolerable and either must be subdued or destroyed. I hope I explained that well enough. If not, there are plenty of good websites which explain narcissism.

I don't know if this is true, but I have read several things stating that when one of the dark side orgs. (The Bilderberg Group) met after WWII, a member of the American leadership (David Rockefeller) supposedly brought up that they should be getting tax income from the female half of their herd of workers, so would now make women think they needed to stay in the workforce after the war, and teach that all women should have careers just like men. They claim they invented, financed, and pushed feminism to achieve this end. They said this would also help accomplish their goal of breaking up the family and making everyone dependent upon the state. Daycare is one result of this. In some other countries, either parent can stay home for the fist two years of a child's life, and get paid and keep their job. I don't know what is right here, but I suspect  there should be many options for child care. I do think we need to start by ditching our national religion of materialism, despite the economic effect of doing so, as it is bad for our souls and worse for the planet. I am just reporting what I heard so you can think about it, and don't have a horse in this race. 

Namaste,

C. Cat

michelle
@michelle
3 weeks ago
63 posts
@Cheshire-cat

You are so right on what you read and think. Our Generation was one of the first to be indoctrinated with feminism, sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

If you go back further in time, you will find the Travistock Institute:

SEE:
https://youtu.be/Ml3IM0esWXM

It is so good to be able to converse with you on these things. I spent years reading and researching posting and writing on this Hidden Hand in our society. What I found was that it was all too much for most to comprehend. No one could believe that everything is controlled. It was easier for others to push me away, drowned me out, or label me crazy.

Finding your way out of the Rat maze is one of the hardest things to do. And when you do, you find you are in another maze! They change our reality like people change their underwear.

If you try to escape there's, nothing in our society to support you. I made a conscious decision to raise my son the way I did. Except for the no father in his life. So I had to do everything on my own raising him and that broke me quite a bit. Still, I'd do it again if I had the chance.

We had no TV. We read all the time and talked about what we read. The computer was used for information gathering only. I didn't want to but after 3rd grade, I pulled my son out of school for homeschooling. This isn't something I really wanted to do but felt I had to as school was crushing him. My friend who owned a bookstore, previously worked as a teacher at a school where children were in residence. They were mostly children who were abandoned by their parents one way or another. I used her as a tutor to help me in his education. I introduced him to anyone who could teach him something useful.

We went to museums, to the symphony, history came alive with visits to historical reenactments and we had many friends who were reenactors. I taught him how to cook, gardening, how to make things including a treehouse and we spent much time Outdoors learning about nature. We did Science on Saturdays at the Rachel Carson Homestead which is a few miles down the road from where we live and also volunteered as spokespersons at various events. I placed him in programs at the YMCA for gym class and they even had a homeschooling group there.

To this day, he is still different from those his age. All the people who work under him are older than him by at least 10 years. He has good leadership qualities without being an authoritarian. And I also see him using his empathetic skills when dealing with his staff. He is firm but fair. He is 25 years old and a salaried head chef at one of the best restaurants we have around here. He did not go to school for this.

It is a stressful job but he has a genius for it and is able to create a pleasurable dining experience for the customers. When he and his sous chef were complaining about their work, I told them at least they do not have a job which causes harm to people or the planet. In fact, they bring pleasure to people especially since they work at a from scratch restaurant using quality ingredients.

He still doesn't watch TV nor is he overly involved/ distracted with technology. He's not perfect nor did I do the perfect job of raising him or even educating him. However, his tutor told me at the end of his time with her that although she wasn't really supportive of me pulling him out of School at first, she thought I did the right thing. She tutors many children and sees that many are lost and do not have good self-esteem. She added that my son has a good sense of self and if you don't have that, you don't have anything.

When he was in school, I was on good terms with the teachers and very involved with his education as he had undetectable learning differences. We would meet frequently and come up with various strategies for him. One on one he did very well with an engaging teacher. But schools are not designed this way and it was with great difficulty that I finally pulled him out after 3rd grade.

I spend a lot of time at the school which gave me an Insider's look at what was going on. Can't get into that here because there's too much to talk about. I used to give historical talks dressed in costume for the kids at schools and groups such as Cub Scouts. I also was a volunteer for the TAG program [traveling art gallery]. My painting was Vermeer's, The Milkmaid.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Milkmaid_(Vermeer)
I dressed as the milkmaid, set up the scene with breads and pottery and showed them how Vermeer used lighting. I showed them how to use charcoal pencils as this is an easy medium to use and get good shading of light and dark. If they didn't want to do the milkmaid I also set up a still life of fruit and bottles for them to draw. The teachers warned me that this might be too much for their young students. I would in turn tell the students this and that I thought they were quite capable of turning out their own masterpieces! And they did. There was not one kid who didn't go beyond their teachers' expectations. I still have pictures they drew and gave me and notes from their parents telling me what a wonderful experience I gave their children.

Now in schools art and music are falling by the wayside as there is a relentless push to achieve high PSA grades. Nevermind that this is teaching to the test and well, cheating! PSA grades we're never given to students under fifth grade nor were they taught to how to pass these tests. That type of testing in the past was used as a monitor of what the children were learning and where they were at in their learning. Schools were not given money as high achievers either.

My son was in school at the Inception of this type of testing. The No Child Left Behind Act was a complete farce and Congress never took the time to read about it. Rather they hired others to do the reading. The big winners in this were the textbook companies, the testing companies, and also a little known fact the military as it was given access to Children's Home phone numbers and addresses for recruitment. This is when military forces began setting up shop in in schools pedaling their Wares to children in grades as young as 6th and 7th... future recruitments for cannon fodder.

Well I'm getting off topic here... couldn't help myself when you mentioned the Bilderbergs, it's sparked that intense passion I have against the all seeing eye of control.
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
3 weeks ago
1,378 posts

@michelle,

Wonderful post, thanks! You are right that the subject matter will have to be continued elsewhere so we don't go far astray of empath subjects. I live in an area where about 1/3 of kids are homeschooled, due to the prevalence of a religious group that does not allow public school attendance. The difference between those kids and the others is marked. Most regular school kids here drop out at 16, do drugs and slack off, while most homeschooled kids here go to college at 15, are avid learners, and are respectful to adults.  I minored in Fine Arts and can see how they are badly needed, especially with so much over scheduling stifling creativity. We also need recess!

A lifelong habit of not watching the boob tube is a priceless time saver for your son. I never owned one until I got sick, and as a child, we did not have one until I was about 9 yrs. old. I think that helped. I won't even get started on Commie Core, which came from China, the model for the NWO. Ah, the Travistock Inst., and the CFR, the TLC, the Club of Rome, Skull & Bones, The Bohemian Club, etc. I can see you are also familiar with Kissinger's comments about our military being the "meat based cannon fodder for our resource wars". You are also quite correct that most people simply cannot face knowing about, let alone connecting all the puzzle pieces, and I find the more educated they are and the more they have in the game, ie. kids and grandkids, the less willing they are to listen. They will even say they do not want to know the Matrix is real because they can't take any more stress. Wow. I will stop typing now before I get in trouble! ;-)

I will end with some good news about empathy! I just saw some new brain research today in my Alumni magazine. They have created video games for young kids with the purpose of teaching them empathy! They created an alien world and give points to the players from earth for recognizing emotions correctly and responding to them when they see them in the faces of the aliens, who are cute, green leafy looking characters. It's not a bad idea, since kids are going to play these games anyway. :-)

Kate T
Kate T
@kate
2 weeks ago
152 posts

People's mental attitudes and behaviours are also vastly different with the age of internet, and it's like a breath of fresh air to be talking to someone who is not mentally and visually avoiding you or suddenly switching to "another frequency", literally having some sort of attention deficit and inability to correctly energy/movements/emotions. Well actually they do, but it's like this: their brain is either high-wired (they need to chill, not in front of electronics) or they are much more sensitive to thoughts and emotions and prone to being influenced by them more easily, not knowing how to manage them. This is with some of the young. Some 18-25 something are rather like this: they feel like they are functioning slightly in the past, their minds not catching up with the present immediately. Out of sync. I am not talking about passing emotions and thoughts, but state of mind. Tiredness and lack of focus. The incidence or continuation of Autism and ADHD problems at "older" ages are directly linked to this and energy therapy would greatly help these people. A reason why horse-riding and animal therapy works wonders for them. 

I'm not sure how to describe it, but you notice (with the positive cases) their energies stay grounded, they don't have these weird reactions and facial expressions or thoughts flowing through their heads. They are who they are, and they can see and perceive you for who you are. I see unity in spirit. But otherwise I see scattered spirits. I want to say it's related to the electromagnetic radiation pollution and the brow/forehead/third eye area, but I would like to read more about it form people who can more clearly perceive the differences.

Have you noticed? You don't realise it until you meet people who are still more old style and lead a healthier life. Why are people not encouraged to grow strong and in balance with themselves? I notice it on myself, I keep doing things that hurt my body in the long run (lack of will?)... somehow at some point i picked up that even when I try to correct something, it's a battle with others who still do it the faulty way, so you have to start separating yourself from them to feel "clean". Very hard to get these habits out of your life when they surround you sometimes, so I went through periods of self-imposed isolation as well. I understand why mystics or ascetics need to separate themselves. I can't say I ever really felt alone... rather, misunderstood. But I actually love and appreciate social interaction, and like others, I also have 2 opposing needs bashing their heads. 

I also associate it with the disturbance of natural balance as well (mass tree cutting, no biodiversity, chemicals in the air, soil and water, food). 

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 weeks ago
1,378 posts

@kate,

Your idea of "scattered spirits" is a very good one. As you say, there are so many things that are wrong with our world, it could be any or a combination of all of them as the cause. It does take tremendous will to pull oneself into a clean space and remain there. It truly is a matrix, a huge web of interlocking obstacles to purity of heart, mind and soul. I have indeed noticed the lack of attention when talking in person, and the generational difference you mention. Most people my age do not have better health habits, at least not the ones I know, but their lives have moved much more slowly, without constant demands on their attention, and w/o smart phones attached their heads. The way we are rushing into A.I. and 5G is terrifying. It seems to be a death wish on our part and/or a feeling of helplessness against the small number of psychopaths who run this looney bin.

Also:

I saw an article yesterday about more new narcissism research. It is even worse than the one I started the thread about. They said that about 40% of the population now has narc traits and a whopping 10% have full blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder. When I was learning about this in college, it was only 1% , and I was told I would never encounter a single case in my career. The article also mentioned a 50% drop in empathy scores. Yet, I constantly hear the new age gurus talking about how much humanity has awakened and is raising their vibration for the better, and how we will soon ascend to a higher level. I wish I could believe that and I want to, but I cannot deny that I am seeing the opposite. It seems to me like they are only hanging around with each other and not mixing with ordinary folks.

Are we empaths supposed to counter this, and if so, how???

michelle
@michelle
2 weeks ago
63 posts
De-centered, teetering continually between excess and deprivation, uprooted from empathic rapport with Sacred Nature, alienated from our authentic selves by the very social identities we assume to define ourselves, shackled with guilt, driven to shame by the media-fuelled craze for desirability, success and celebrity, intimidated by the constant lies and threats of political gangsters, enslaved by work that does not engage our genuine talents - the ancient teachers of the Mysteries would have a challenge on their hands, were they to tackle the human condition today.

After two thousand years of ever deepening narcissism, the species may be bottoming out on self-concern. In an article entitled "The Death of Intimacy" (Guardian Weekly, September 24-30, 2004), 
SEE: https://tinyurl.com/y6ud8ent
Martin Jacques observed that:

"we are becoming less and less intimate with the human condition itself."

In "an ego-market society," where "life becomes shopping," there is a danger that we will lose our humanity in our obsession with our selves. The mirroring menace of self-concern is the Sphinx of our time. 
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 weeks ago
1,378 posts

@michelle,

 Thank you for the link to that EXCELLENT article! I encourage everyone to make time to read it.

I feel a reset and start over is what will happen now as I believe it has several times before...the monuments from those prior advanced civilizations are all around us if we would only open our eyes and see them. I think we do not want to face it that we have blown it over and over again. 

TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
2 weeks ago
457 posts
@Michelle

Thank you for sharing this article! 🤗
I truly enjoyed it and wish the entire human race can read this lol. I know many people in life that I'd like to print this and put it in their mailbox lol
michelle
@michelle
2 weeks ago
63 posts
Cheshire Cat:

@hop-daddy,

 Phew! I am safe since I'm in my 60's, lol. I think (and hope) you are talking about people with varying narcissistic characteristics, rather than full blown NPD, which is still supposedly rare. 

Dr. Gray says the self esteem movement when they were kids is also to blame for the entitlement, etc. All the trophies just for showing up, the grades just for coming to class, etc. and constantly being told you are special for no reason, etc. 

People with full blown NPD, which is set in stone by age 4, cannot be helped, but I pray the narc tendencies can...but HOW?



This post reminds me of something that was sent betw/ friends on the internet in the early 2000s.
Enjoy,
Michelle
----------------------
To Those of Us Born Between 1930 and 1979

Nostalgia is the Freedom of 'Old America'

To all the kids who survived the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's. ... 

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.



We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. Why?

Because we were always outside, playing...that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times,we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. We had friends and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers problem solvers and inventors problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. If you are one of them: Congratulations!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!
michelle
@michelle
2 weeks ago
63 posts
Okay, I had my fun at the previous post. ⬆️

But now I want to talk about the devastating consequences of a lack of empathy in the Western world humans. To possess empathy means that you have to care about all humans, no matter where they come from. And the ones we should be most concerned for are our planet's children.

I am ashamed of myself for dropping the ball on my watch. I used to tell anyone who would listen how endless war, politics, and the ruthless grabbing of resources is killing our planet's future population. I got discouraged, got ill and quit.

My son, kids from my neighborhood and I held signs, at an intersection by our neighborhood saying such things as:

War Kills Kids

Jesus is Against War [I kid you not, a man actually got out of his car and asked for proof of this.]

War Kills Children and All Living Things

I was ashamed of the 'adults' who screamed at us. Same thing happened when we stood with Doctors Without Borders.
Me, a bunch of elderly people, a priest and children screamed at by men and wives of soldiers. What they didn't care to learn was that we were saying memorials for fallen soldiers too. I'm not here to downgrade any with military family members. My dad was a prisoner of war in Germany and 4 out of my 5 brothers were and are in the military. But I hate war and all that is done to fan the flames of hatred between the peoples of Earth. That said, please mourn the children of our planet cut down by leaders who send our young men and woman to war for their own gain and control of other's land and resources.

SNIP:

Children – Civilization’s Future, Victims of Western Brutality

By Peter Koenig

December 03, 2018 "Information Clearing House"-    

The United Nations Universal Children’s Day– 20 November – has come and gone – and nothing has changed. No action that would now protect children any more than before, no move even by the UN to call on nations at war to take special care to protect children – if for nothing else but the fact that children are our planets future. They are the standard bearer of human generations to come – and of our civilization as a whole, if we don’t run it into the ground. Yet, children are among the most vulnerable, discriminated and abjectly exploited and abused species within human kind.

The culture of greed and instant profit has no space for children, for their rights, for their up-bringing within a frame of human rights, fair education, access to shelter and health services everywhere. For much of our western society, children are a nuisance, at best, a tool for cheap labor, especially when the west outsources its production processes to poor developing countries, mostly in Asia and Central America, so poor that they cannot enforce laws against child labor – all to maximize corporate profits.

Otherwise the western driven killing and war machine indiscriminately slaughters children, by famine, by drones, by bombs, by disease – by abuse. Collateral damage? I doubt it. Children could be protected, even in illegal wars. But eradicating by death and poverty entire generations in nations the west intends to subdue has a purpose: rebuilding of these nations will not take place under the watch of educated children, grown adults, who would most likely oppose their ‘hangmen’, those that have destroyed their homes and families, their villages and towns, their schools and hospital, their drinking water supply systems – leaving them to the plight of cholera and other diseases brought about by lack of hygiene and sanitation. So, in the interest of the empire and its puppet allies, children’s calamities and crimes on them are at best under reported – in most cases nobody even cares.

Look at Syria. The poison gas attacks instigated by US and NATO forces, carried out by their proxies ISIS and Saudi Arabia, to blame them on President Bashar al Assad, were directed at children for greater public relations impact – further helped by the fake heroes, the White Helmets. Can you imagine! (I’m sure you can) – children have to be poisoned and killed by western forces who want to topple the Syrian Assad regime to put their puppet in Assad’s place, so that they can control the country and eventually the region. Yes, children are sacrificed – a huge crime against humanity – to commit another horrendous international crime – forcefully change a democratically elected regime. That’s what the west does and is – and probably always was for the last 2000 years.

CONTINUE READING:
https://tinyurl.com/y8fprowo
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
one week ago
1,378 posts

Here are some gloomy articles about the rise in Narcissism sent to me by an alert EC member. They are definitely worth reading, imo.....


C. Cat

TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
one week ago
457 posts
@chesire-cat thank you for posting these. I've read man articles about Facebook not any on video games.

Mostly what I saw about Facebook, that usually popped up on Facebook on narcissm was the selfies years back. But all correlates to the article you shared. As later the articles talk about how many friends,how many times a day you post, etc. Guess they got it all together now lol. Few years back it got really annoying the amount of selfies certain individuals were posting on a daily basis. Now it's a norm.

What irrates me with FB is the lies and this dual personality. Making one appear as one is not in real life. Making comments that are exact opposite of what they told me prior.

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