Emotional eating

TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
4 days ago
425 posts

Doe anyone else feel they emotional eat when the energy from others is consuming???  Or is this just me and my charkra went out of balance?

   Of course it's this narc at work I've spoken up b4.  I know that I should do this and that.  But honestly, this is childish. If I step up and talk about it he'll blame me again, but I have documentation to support it.  If I step back, he thinks he has the power and starts his manipulative tactics. Its no win.  But at the end of the day, its not about winning, its about the right thing to do.  Feels like we as empaths should come together to figure out plan's that have worked to make this planet a better place.  I honestly want to tell him to get over his karma and stop talking it out on me.  But diplomatically since it's work.

JoniG
JoniG
@jonig
4 days ago
39 posts
I totally use food to soothe myself at work....if I'm having a particularly stressful day, I really feel the need for carbs...or more specifically, peanut M & M's!! They don't allow booze so.....lol
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
4 days ago
1,326 posts

Yep, it's the carbs when things get hairy! They raise serotonin and make me happier and calmer. I do try taking Natural Calm magnesium powder first, but can't take enough to do the job sometimes. Dark chocolate especially calls to me....it raises levels of all the happy hormones: serotonin, dopamine and GABA. If I am very stressed though, I lose my appetite. Joni's post just made me start craving a peanut butter cup, lol. 

TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
4 days ago
425 posts
The chips do it for me, I get a temporary release of the bad energy. But then it comes back. I'm going to bring my obsidian stone to work. It's quite large and try to meditate out the negativity at my desk.

Here's to hoping I don't throw it at the narc....kidding
Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
4 days ago
897 posts

I totally crave carbs and sometimes candy when I get overwhelmed with energy. In fact, I have read that a lot of empaths tend to be a little over weight due to emotional eating. I think some empaths even say that carrying a little extra weight has some protective elements to it. But I don't quite understand why or how that works? Perhaps the act of eating something that makes you happy helps off-set or neutralize the heavy unwanted energy that we take in? Like a form of grounding.


updated by @hop-daddy: 10/11/18 12:14:49PM
Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
2 days ago
146 posts

At work I live off candy corn and M&M's I get out of the little bowls on the secretary's desk. She knows I'm a junky and keeps them filled for me. I don't eat sweets at home. I never made that connection till now. I always have to have sugar at work or around people. 

Narc's are always creating conflict. We avoid conflict. They are always looking for a fight they can't win, because if they win they loose. They want to drag you into a conflict. They work really hard at it at times. The best way I found to deal with them is not to react to anything they say or do. To have no reaction at all is to not allow the effect they want to see from you. The way Jesus put it was "Turn the other cheek" meaning refuse to be offended. Never show any kind of emotional reaction. After a while, the narc sees what he's doing doesn't work and moves on. They give up pretty easy. 

We as empaths have the power to defend to a great degree. We can't bring ourselves to attack others, but in defence we dominate. As long as we don't let our own emotion control us. 

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 days ago
1,326 posts

@zacharias,

 I agree with what you said, though I've found that there are sometimes exceptions to the rule.  If the narc is part of the family and you don't give them what they want and/or keep showing them up in any way, sometimes they won't just go away. Instead, they will try to learn all they can about the things that are good about you, and then spread the exact opposite in the form of blatant lies to destroy you. This has happened to me and to a good friend, different Narcs, same tactics.

That can come back to bite them though, since some people they tell the lies to will like you and not like them, and will come and tell you about it. They definitely have weaknesses, one of which is that despite their lying, they cannot read other people, or tell at all when they are being lied to, so flattery can be used to control them easily, they are so desperate for a supply of attention. They can't keep friends, and have no concept of the loyalty involved, so they will go and spread lies to your friends, who will tell you what they said or did right away.

How do you not show any emotional reaction, especially being such a feeling-dominant person? That is the question for me. Studying detachment should help, but I can't seem to master it, despite years of meditation on it. Do you have any helpful hints on how you manage to stay detached? Many things work for me in practicing when meditating, but then one of them drives me right up a wall again, and I blow a gasket. I have tried admitting I can't handle it myself and giving it all to Jesus, but it is still going on. Can you always keep your cool now? 

For the carb cravings, you might try a magnesium drink like Natural Calm and use it to wash down a couple capsules of L-tryptophan. That would give you the same hormones as most carbs, though not as many as chocolate. Chocolate raises every neurohormone that feeds any type of addiction, so I hear you loud and clear on those M & Ms! ;-)

TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
yesterday
425 posts
You are correct on the no conflict. When the narc creates it with me, it fills me with such anxiety I shake. But I know if I keep backing down and don't say anything he'll keep doing it. At least this narc. When I began speaking back he backs down. It's a power trip on his end. I mean, he'll do it in different avenues and I have to call him out on each. Right now he's just trying to defeat in anyway he can, and each time I speak back. It's exhausting and the anxiety of it all really hurts my heart. Why such power and dominance is his karma. The potatoe chips help with the crunch from aggravation of his impotent confidence. I wish I can just back it down and ignore, but he'll keep coming after me and continue to put me down.
Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
yesterday
146 posts

I realize how difficult that is to have no reaction at all. I remember times when my knees were shaking so bad it made my whole body tremble. The anxiety took control and I felt like I had no power over it. I still have to deal with it every day. The way I take power over it is to just not care what the outcome of the situation is. I have to give myself over to it. Do or die. Then I can walk thin ice without the worry of falling in. Not so simple for most. I understand. 

I had a boss not long ago that would give me these impossible tasks just to see how I would react. They were demeaning and meant to frustrate the hell out of me. Being an empath I knew what he was doing. If I had gotten frustrated, he would have made it much worse until I quit. Instead I just went along with it as though he wasn't messing with me. I never showed him any emotion. I stayed calm and relaxed and wouldn't let anything he said phase me. It's what is called a 'shit test'. If you react, you loose. Women do it to men in bars every night. They do that crap because they believe emotional people are weak. What they don't understand about empaths is that we have to deal with 1000's of emotions. They only have to deal with their own. If they became an empath for one day they would be balled up in a corner screaming and crying for it to stop. They are the weak, not us. This guy wasn't just a narc, he was a sociopath. The weakest of all.

A couple weeks ago I went to a funeral. I absolutely had to. I knew the man and his family. I wanted to be there for them. I knew what it would do to me, but I resolved myself not to care. If I had thought it would kill me I was still going to go. I have missed many funerals in the past because of fear. Yes, I was wiped out afterward, but I'm glad I went. I have a great boss now. She understands me. She has a daughter thats an empath. I just said I need to go home and take a nap, and she said "ok, thats fine, dont worry about things here". I'm very grateful for this job. It was the one God led me to. The others were jobs God used to forge my character through hard stressed situations. I'm grateful for those as well.  

TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
yesterday
425 posts
This narc I work with just wants to undermine, I'm a woman and he made that clear from day one. I went to HR about it, and he lost there. How he still has a job is infuriating to all who works there. So when he does his things, he needs to tread lightly, so no, I don't back down. Any form of it will be seen as retaliation from HR. But as an emapth, I can't stand the thought he does this to someone else. People have commented why he's being nice, but I can see through it. I do have his nasty documented as I won't speak to him in person. I have heard others put him in his place, actually on a conference call on Friday someone did. There was a period some time ago I felt bad for him, and he knew and took full advantage of that and ended up going to my boss many times. I've been looking for a new job, and hopefully will be getting another soon. :)
TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
yesterday
425 posts
@zacharias I do agree with you on the ignoring part. I do deal with other narcs, and I can ignore much easier. And yes it really does help.
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
19 hours ago
1,326 posts

@zacharias,

     Thanks for the pep talk, it helps. :-)

     Not being attached to the outcome is so necessary in other situations as well. When we do a favor for someone, we may be attached to the outcomes of being thanked and having them do something for us. That may not happen, and we get disappointed. I learned to let go of it intros cases, but also keep watching for a pattern of a person who never thanks anyone, and never does anyone good turn. I run from those, since they may be narcs and will drain me. 

     I have a two-pronged problem with this. One is that I am an INFJ, and the J is my strongest score, at 92%, which is freakishly high. For those who aren't familiar with the MBTI personality types, that means I am very much into seeing justice done, and I want life to be fair, which it isn't. I have problems with that too....I have a lot of questions! The other is that I have late stage Lyme disease, and it is in my brain. This results in a thing called Lyme Rage, which is simply awful. It is one reason why I am mostly a hermit now. I have about 1/2 second to get control of myself, or the rage is off and running and I do not even remember what I said later. It has actually helped in 2 cases where horrible neighbors were driving me crazy, and I was kind to them despite it for 4 and 12 yrs., respectively, until they finally pushed me so hard I went into Lyme rages. I scared them so much, they ran away from me and haven't bothered me since. I hate to lower myself to that level, but it did work and nothing else had. It's a sad comment that non-reaction only encouraged them. 

     I am very glad that you now have a great job with a good boss! That is rare and something to be grateful for. I will keep working on non-attachment, since I agree how important it is. I do think it is far harder for empaths to do though. My husband compartmentalizes things, which I learned in psych classes is a much more common thing in men than women. He just puts things he doesn't like away somewhere and locks them up and lets them go. If you can do that, you are lucky.  wish I could do that!

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