Seasons

crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
one week ago
197 posts

I've noticed something today that I never noticed before. 

I think this is my season to be sad. What I mean is that some are affected by the moon phases, others the planets, and so on. I think this time of year is when I am most vulnerable.  

I'm not completely overwhelmed, just unreasonably sad, and angry for reasons I cannot say. I know a lot of it doesn't belong to me which helps. But there is so much going on in my head that, while it's not hard to interact with others, I just don't want to.

All I can hear and feel is a lot of screaming and crying. 

To help I've been grounding a couple  times a day. I am on date two of a three day fast, gives me that extra boost.

What I need from the community are any kind words you wish to share. Or whatever you wish to share. I think it'll help.

pinkypie
@pinkypie
one week ago
11 posts

what do you think the crying and screaming is around? might help you to better understand and clear unwanted energies that may be stagnant? or lingering?

I think im having that right now, though I feel ok about it, just not sure where I stand with a friend of mine..

hope you feel better..

Nocturne's Angel
Nocturne's Angel
@nocturnes-angel
one week ago
928 posts

To me is seems as though you may be suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20364651

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
one week ago
876 posts

@crystalsage:

It sounds like you need support right now, so I'll try to do that while offering a basic suggestion.

I think we empaths need regular hugs and/or pats on the back. Because life for us can be day to day challenging. Every day we wake up we don't know whether to expect the worst. Will it be a good day? Will it be a bad day? We just don't know what energy we'll encounter each day and where it will lead us. And since we are energy sponges that tends to focus on picking up and removing low energy, we quite often get the blues, and get run down from just being us. So all I can say is great job, being you. And many thanks for the contributions that you are making daily to better the lives of people around you. 

As for your comments on seasonal changes impacting you, I have a couple thoughts. First off, in analyzing the words in your post, you mentioned "I think this time of year is when I am most vulnerable." But then the later 2/3 of your post did not really mention how this season brings you down. You instead noted how voices and people are impacting you during this time. And that you'd rather not interact with people right now.

I have to assume it's the start of fall where you live (correct me if I'm wrong). And fall can trigger a change of emotions for a lot of humans. Summer is a fun and exciting time. The suns out. People moods are generally good. Most people fit in a vacation. It's a great time. And when that party ends, fall comes and it starts getting cold, and the sunlit days get shorter. Flu season hits. And many people do not do well with Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years for a variety of reasons. In general, there's more moody people around in fall. More low energy to deal with. I could be wrong, but I don't think it's the season changing that is so much a problem for you. It's how your subconscious has remembered in recent years how tough it was being an empath during fall when you have to deal with the mood changes of the people around you. I see it as a people energy problem, and not the season itself.

I think the good news is that by recognizing the problem, you can find ways to counter it. Maybe staying at home for a few days here and there to recharge yourself by doing things that you love isn't such a bad idea. Its pretty well documented that even when empaths have only one other person with them in a house, that they are "on" and are not relaxing their brains. Empaths need a "me day" with no one else around just to recharge (as often as possible). And every season has some great parts to it. Whether its hiking in the woods enjoying the changing of the leaves on the trees. Or decorating for Halloween while sipping pumpkin spiced latte. I'm sure there must be some things to do in fall that you really enjoy. The point is to try to flip your mindset from "I really don't enjoy this season" to "wow, I just had a great time hiking in the woods enjoying nature in the transition of fall and it was a terrific time". Life is about creating good memories. Try to off-set the moods of people around you with some terrific seasonal memories focusing on doing things that you love to do. Things that revive and inspire you. And as an empath, it's all about keeping our vibrations high no matter what the season. Do that by doing things that you love. Things that make your heart and soul sing.

Best of luck. Be happy!

crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
one week ago
197 posts
I want to thank everyone for your kind words.

I think you're all right in different ways.

I do have bouts of depression. It's gotten better over the years. Even this moment is better than last year.

I was trying to pinpoint exactly what is going on with me. A few thoughts came to mind. Historically this is a time a year where lots of unpleasant events occurred.

I have been around a lot of emotionally overwhelming people lately.

I want to write more, but I cant really think straight right.

Once again thank you to everyone.

The post made smile and then laugh which is what I needed.
pinkypie
@pinkypie
one week ago
11 posts

is there anything you want to talk about in what you mentioned above? 

something resonated to me around parents and children and being a parent, but im not quite sure whom it was from..

crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
one week ago
197 posts
@pinkypie I do want talk. There is stuff going on surrounding my parents. This is the time of year where some of my worst memories are usually made with them. My dad mainly.

Starts next month with him forgetting a birthday we share. And me feeling lonely and forgotten all through the holidays.

A few years ago I started celebrating my birthday every day of the month. It has turned my birthday into an extremely enjoyable time. Nothing too crazy. But it makes me feel loved.
There's more but I gotta work now. Bbl
pinkypie
@pinkypie
one week ago
11 posts
Sorry to hear that, what gets you upset with your relationship with Ur dad? (If it's ok to share)..

People forget birthdays all the time, sometimes just happens..

How come u started celebrating Ur bthday every day of the month?
crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
one week ago
197 posts
@pinkypie
People do forget bdays. However my dad and I have the same bday. I would think that is harder to forget.

The relationship has never felt mutual. He's just never really cared for me. I do come from a relationship he had before he got married. That side of the family is very traditional. They still believe in concepts like bastards, so to them I am one.

So growing up during this time of year when my friends where preoccupied with family stuff. I was not. I was an embarrassment. As I got older that sort of changed but whenever someone was around that wasn't family it was like he regretted having me around. He didn't want anyone to see. There are family members I meet to this day who never knew I existed.

So when I had the opportunity I moved away from my family. My goal was to create my own family and surround myself with those who would love and accept me.

As I am much older now I thought all those things where in the past. A couple of years ago I was committed to establishing some kind of relationship with him.

While I can accept his flaws, and I recognize we would never have a conventional father daughter relationship there are other things I cannot accept.

I love my father because he is my father. However as a person no matter how hard I try, I am not okay with who he is.

I was considering moving home this year. Then I realized I already am home. I have a life here one I worked hard to build. Moving back would make it easier for me to connect with him, but that is because he doesn't try. I'm the one who picks up the phone and calls, not him.

I spent a large portion of my life in a state of abuse. There where those that cared, but they could not get to me due to the circumstances.

When I was finally able to get away a good friend told me that it wasn't my fault. I was a child and powerless. He also told me that from the time I left to now, I was no longer powerless. I could either allow myself to be put in the same type of loveless situations or I could chose something else.

I have followed that advice to this day.

I love my father but it is not a healthy relationship. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that it may never grow into one.

Which can be lonely. But feeling lonely is a lot better than what I feel around him and my mother (she a different story).

Also I'm really only recently noticing feeling healed. It took years of work, but I'm okay with what is. I do still get triggered, however that may be a life long reality and I can handle that.
crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
one week ago
197 posts
@pinkypie

I celebrate my birthday every day of the month for many reasons. However there are two main reasons. The first is teach myself that I am worth, and should, be celebrated. The second has to do with how I viewed my birthday growing up. Because of how things worked out I always found myself sad that day. I wanted to change that energy. I wanted to learn to look forward to my day.

I must say it has been fun!

I have a daily budget. Some days it is not about buying a gift so much as exaggerated self care/love. So I may do something simple like watching a movie I love at home. As long as the mindset is celebratory.
pinkypie
@pinkypie
one week ago
11 posts

Its nice that you want to do something for yourself, we all so sometimes when we feel that ay in our personal circumstances. do you think some of it is masking from old unhealed wounds?

true it is difficult to move on from certain situations, ever more so when you both share two significant events together.. you talk of him in a past context, is that he's in your past in this life or moved on to a spiritual?

bastard is a pretty harsh word, and that's a horrible concept to be living by, for anyone.. I wanted ti reply to you sooner, I just never got the chance, I hope you received the positive energy regardless.. 

crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
one week ago
197 posts
@pinkypie

Thank you. I speak of that time in the past and the people involved a lot. It just comes out that way. He is still living.

As far as old wounds go, it's been interesting. I've been doing a lot of work clearing my energy. In doing so I have noticed that a lot of old stuff is coming up, but with a greater sense of clarity. I am doing less self blame and more understanding. It's like as I clear old energy from my body those experiences are being removed with them.

I also realized that when I wrote this post it had been a few days since I did my normal clearing practices. I can normally go a few days without that happening. But as I said this time of year has a lot of memories for me. I was also in the city a lot as well as around a lot of people who I know to have very low vibrations.

It all was adding up.
crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
one week ago
197 posts
Thank you to every who responded. It was truly a great help. I was able to end the day with very high vibrations.

Go Team Empath!
TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
one week ago
409 posts
I think hop daddy nailed it. I was going to comment about others being sad that summer is coming to a close. I have felt it from many around. Where I live, the city is known for fun packed summers. And every year as it turns to cold then winter, all everyone does is complain about it in person and on FB. It gets depressing hearing it, but through in empathic feelings. I want to pull my hair out lol.
The fact you and your father share a b day coming up is probably bringing that on too! There is one month that for years I'd cry and drink my sorrows. It was the month my baby was supposed to be born. I finally moved past that, but I get it.
I too go in bouts of depression and have to pick myself up. And I swear, it's so hard! Ugh. But sometime's I find its really not mine and from others. I found another grounding technique that has been helping. Do you work with crystals and stones?
crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
5 days ago
197 posts
@@tigerlily

Sorry for the late response. I've been distracted lately.

I'm sorry to hear about your baby. I can't imagine how that must have been for you.

I do use crystals and stones. In fact I love working with them. I use them as a part of my regular grounding work.

I just hadn't done my grounding work in a few days. I realized later that night that I was overloaded with energy that needed to be grounded.

I agree with hop-daddy as well. A lot of what he said was right on the money.

I think that along with my own issues with time of year just got to me.

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