I need help or something/anything

Hoofbeats
Hoofbeats
@hoofbeats
3 months ago
8 posts

Hey guys,

I'm sorry I keep dropping off the face of the earth, I've just gotten to the point where I feel useless to help anyone or do anything. I feel bad for letting everyone down, and I'm sorry I couldn't do better.

That being said, I need some kind of advice/input/something. I've been trying to get a hold of people for days, but it seems everyone thought it would be a good idea to ditch me at the same time. I don't really have family, or very many close friends, but you would think someone would be around when you need help? Nope.

I've been trying to get my empath back for three years now. It used to be very strong, and I could feel things very clearly and was beginning to see. Well, it turned out that my mentor was not as good of a person as she said she was, and sent some bad entities after me to shut me off. I thought it was my fault at the time, but I since learned that it wasn't me, but rather her going on some sort of a power trip.

Anyways, after about a year of trying to figure out what was going on, I finally figured out some ways to fix it, where it got worse for a while, and then I reached out. I found a healer, who is now a very good friend and we've been working together to heal each other in the best way that we can. Most of the bad things are gone (I think), and I feel better and lighter than I have most of my life (if ever), but I still can't feel much at all.

Please also note, that while the mentor sent some bad stuff after me, I had bad stuff attached before this happened too, just not as bad or nearly as much.

Well here I am, three years later, stuck again. I have not gotten my empath back, and I am basically running low on hope. I have really lost faith in all aspects. Sure, I feel better overall, but I am starting to wonder if I lost everything else. Every time I try to hope for something, have some sort of dream or plan it comes crashing down. I gave up all hope of having my gifts come back, of having some sort of purpose (I thought I was supposed to do something tied into my gifts, but since I can't seem to get them back, I'm just sitting here wasting time), having someone to fall in love with, etc. It's one thing after another after another. It's like I get a teaser of something good, and as soon as I start to see a glimmer of light it's all taken away. It's crushing, and I feel like I will never be able to attain any sort of goodness in my life. It's that way with stepping out in faith to help someone too. Several times I thought God was pushing me to help someone, and so I would reach out in faith. Not only did I make their situation worse, but I gave them reason to give up hope. Makes me feel pretty terrible.

Besides my empath, I finally thought I found my soulmate/twin flame. I had been praying about him for quite a while. I haven't dated much, or ever had a boyfriend, but I kept getting the answer "soon." I even had a couple of very clear visions about him and I doing stuff. I just brushed them off as tricks of the mind... especially since nothing seems able to go right for me, but lo and behold! He walked into work for an interview about two weeks later! I was floored, ecstatic. I didn't really allow myself to hope for a while, but when he got hired, I actually reached out to talk to him. Found out he was 5 years younger (19), and very quiet, but I am quiet too, so that was no big deal. After about a month of talking to him (he is very nice), I decided to ask him to coffee. It was a hard move, but I had been praying about it, and thought it was ok. I felt a lot of positivity about it despite my fears. Finally, I asked him, and his initial answer was yes. I thought that maybe things were looking up, and I allowed myself some hope and happiness that I had not felt in a very long time.

Well as life would have it, I got to be the butt of the joke again. About an hour later, I get a text from him, with an apology for the confusion, and saying that he already had a girlfriend. As much as I hate to say this, this sent me in a nosedive. This was the last thing I allowed myself to hope for. I have already been trying to find reasons to stay alive, and now I'm afraid that I will also be alone forever. I had already been depressed, but this was my last straw.

I've been trying to have faith that something good will happen for me. I really don't allow myself to hope or look forward to anything anymore since I know how that ends. But now, I just... I don't know. I need help, advice, or something. I can't keep going on like this. I want to be healed, I don't want to be lonely, I want to feel like I have some sort of purpose in life, and I want to help people. I'm sorry for all the negativity, I hate being like this (I used to be a pretty positive and upbeat person), but I don't know how much longer I can keep going down this road.

Thanks in advance :)

crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
3 months ago
138 posts
Ok so first I can understand that feeling of hopelessness. I have been there, I'm sure we all have at one point.

This is a book I read that was really powerful in helping connect and shape my empathetic nature. Maybe it could help you too.

On a personal note the author is unorthodox and it took me a while to really understand what he was trying to say. I had to read it like three times.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://mysilentecho.com/dreamtongue1.htm&ved=2ahUKEwi828iHxtHaAhUps1QKHXSfBkAQFjACegQICBAB&usg=AOvVaw01McMK4wYYBFDQvmpCgtMi
Hoofbeats
Hoofbeats
@hoofbeats
3 months ago
8 posts

Thank you so much! I will be sure to take a look. Hopefully some of what he says helps. Right now I just feel like an ant lost in an ocean, and I have no idea how to get to shore, or even how to get afloat if that makes sense.

crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
3 months ago
138 posts
Ok now as I said I am no stranger to hopelessness. I recently went through a phase of feeling lost and not knowing who I was anymore.

I have also experienced the feeling of life messing around with me. Getting what seemed like blessings only to have them come to a painful end.

One of my mentors is not an empath, in fact I'm not sure how she feels about the matter. However she is still a very wise and insightful woman nonetheless.

Her advice was to first figure out exactly what I needed in life to give myself some peace. Spend less time doing and more time reflecting.

Sometimes we jump into doing and it works out for a while but because we may be detached from what we need the longevity never follows.

In order to find out what I need she told me to daydream about what I wanted, but not take the dreams seriously as if it was what needed to be done. Instead I was to ask myself what needs are being fulfilled by this dream.

For example I often dream about being found by my lover but also by friends that feel more like family. When I think of why this dream feels good I realize that it is because in the dream I have a team of people who trust and accept me as I am. I have people who respect who I am. Once I saw that I realized at least a few things that I needed in my life. More than love I need people who I can trust to be there for me no matter who I am, no matter how I change. I need people who are willing to work with me that offer/accept guidance. I need to feel a sense of equality. This knowledge has changed how I approach people and situations. I understand now that when I get upset with certain people, particularly ones I'm close with, it is because I am looking for them to fulfill a need they cannot. So now I look for people and even work situations that can fit who I am.

Our needs often define us. When we know what we need our paths become a lot clearer. For me life has become so much easier.

I took that advice a step further and began to analyze what I like to watch, the books I like to read, and past situations that I felt should have worked out.

In doing so my list of need grew until a full image of myself became clear before my eyes.

I even asked myself what need is being fulfilled by my desire to develop my empathetic nature. For me it is my strength. It gives me a place in the world but also gives me the ability to handle what life may bring, the good or bad. The most important thing I get is freedom.

I never fit into this world until I accepted my empathetic nature. Now, while there is still work to be done, I no longer feel hopeless. Instead the life I want feels realistic.

Hope you find something that helps.

Just know you are not alone.
crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
3 months ago
138 posts
My mentor would tell you that to feel lost is a good thing although it may not feel good. It means you have detached from all the expectations of what others or even you may think you need to be and are now ready to connect with your true self.
cat_is_very_broke
cat_is_very_broke
@cat-is-very-broke
3 months ago
17 posts
As someone who has been to hell and back some days you need to remember to breath. People can only take from u what u allow them to take. It has taken me a long time to learn that lesson. The loss of your empath abilities is cause she messed with your mind. our mind can do more damage to us by believing in someone else crap that anyone else can do. Start small with your empath abilities and slowly work on it plus work on your self love. self love is the hardest love to achive to the most rewarding. As for the soul mate /twin flame they are 2 very different things. He may very well be a soul mate. A soul mate can be any one who as souls have traveled life times with yours. Not every one is romantic, My closet friend and I are mirror soul mates. Also a romantic soul mate may not be in your life forever. My ex husband and I are soul mates but is was never met to last a lifetime as u can tell by the ex part. At this point you should be thankful that he wasn't a twin flame. A twin flame is not a romantic love story but the hardest most painful and hopefully most rewarding love you will ever encounter. Not everyone's twin flame is on the physical plane currently. The reason I know this is I stumbled upon mine and if i knew then what I know now I would have ran as fast as I could the other way. Twin flames make u face everything that hurts inside of u and then they disappear for a bit while u purge and work through the hell u are in until you heal some then they show back up in your life to only have this process repeated until u are finally able to surrender and come into a union. Some people get luck and can go through all this in a few short cycles but most of us are not that lucky and end up with this cycle for years. I hope like hell that my cycle isn't going to be one of those that take 25 years to complete.. I don't think I could handle that much pain. Through the hell I am learning how to love myself and that is my reward, I don't know if i will get the guy at the end or if we will need a few more life time cycles.
I don't know if this helps. If u want more info private message me, I don't mind sharing.. But the first thing u do need to find is your love for yourself.
Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
3 months ago
930 posts

Hi...a lot of what you've been living through...the psychic attacks especially...are things that I've been living through as well...I trusted the wrong people to help me...energy workers...who turned out to have their own agenda and I'm still fighting these people off energetically. Most of the time I cant understand how these people and why they've continued to attack me in this manner for this length of time...about 4 years give or take...I cant remember exactly when I met them...I also know there's a co worker or more who psychically attack us...their co workers...on a regular basis too...I cought him at it once...and realized that a lot of bad stuff started with me about the time he started working...took a while to figure that out too. The thing you need to understand is that you are STRONGER than they are..at ALL times...the reason being that you KNOW who they are and are capable of learning how to counter act what they do to mess with you.I'm still fighting and I know at the beginning when it all started I also felt the immense draining and hopelessness of fighting...but that's exactly what they want for some reason...so...because it's what THEY want I fought and continue to fight. I'm not depressed or unhappy...the feelings I feel belong to other people...and since it's what a psychic attacker does. Even though it's a daunting task to fend these people off I've also learned about myself more if they hadn't done so...I've learned about my strength and how to tell when my thoughts are not my own...and I refuse to let them dictate to me through these attacks, my frame of mind at any time. Always remembering that you did NOTHING wrong except trust someone and THEY took advantage of that trust. It was not your fault. That responsibility lies at their door. I'm angry with these people and I don't feel sorry for it at all. I dont dwell on it although its THEM who attack me...so they dwell on me it seems....kinda odd I think...I take out their crappy energy and they send it back. You have something she wants...take it as a compliment but fight back. 


updated by @womanwhowalks: 04/23/18 08:34:13PM
spiritualskies
@spiritualskies
3 months ago
159 posts

@hoofbeats sorry to hear of what you're going through, hope matters improve for you whatever it is that's wearing you down.

sometimes I teach myself not to expect anything from anyone, it's the best approach at times, when you expect something they always let you down, if you don't expect can't really hurt you as you haven't built up a perception of what to expect from people or situations, if that makes sense?

I don't understand what you mean by not being able to feel your empath? could you elaborate?

I don't know if this applies to yourself in anyway, but I'm personally emotionally numb, so I don't ever feel my own stuff, I can react to it in other ways, or look for my own energies, (kinda like tracing breadcrumbs) but it does get me down personally that once in a while i'd like to 'feel'.

personally speaking you don't need a mentor to teach you on your gifts, someone taught me to believe in myself, even if others don't. use all your senses and contemplate on them, you will gradually begin to open up your senses. you might not always get answers right away but if they're important to you, keep them in your heart and let god if you believe in god take care of the rest, or destiny etc.

take time out to love yourself, do what you want to do, what makes you happy, regardless of what people think, when you find a glimmer of that inner happiness you will automatically begin to attract people, and don't ever feel that you wont find love or end up lonely, I don't like people feeling that way, have faith x

feel free to inbox if you want

 

alijay
@alijay
3 months ago
12 posts
@cat-is-very-broke lol Ur post made me laugh, (not in an insensitive way)

Tf journeys are really tough, though I haven't met mine yet, my friend has and she had the most craziest dream about they're situation.
Just Stevie
Just Stevie
@just-stevie
2 months ago
138 posts

Hoofbeats

My advice will be a little more down to earth. I am still struggling to accept the Paranormal. Empath I get because it explains a lot. Unfortunately, all this came later in life.

Step back and take a breath. You need to love yourself before you can accept love from another. Get to know yourself and enjoy being you. Being alone does not have to be lonely.

Perhaps the reason you cant get in touch with your "gifts" may be as simple as you are just burnt out. Your body is taking charge. Being an Empath and having gifts is not what defines you. Once the presure is off and you start to relax if it is meant they will return;  don't  look for signs or worry about it. Let it flow naturally.

Several years ago I was depressed and concentrating on how unhappy I was. I had all the things to experience a great life. One day it hit me. I was spending too much time worrying about myself. 

I chose a cause and expanded on it. I founded a Charity and turned it in to something very rewarding.  Although it's on the shelf for now I have already layed the ground work to add another facet. This may not work for you. I am a realist with a bleeding heart.

Find your passion. Take charge.

I have found in life you often get what you expect. No amount of dreaming and praying are going to get you where you want to be. I always say God helps those who help themselves. The glass can be half empty or half full. No matter how bleak there is also something positive if you let yourself see it.

Nea
Nea
@nea
2 months ago
215 posts

Hello @hoofbeats

My advice to you is to broaden your horizons a little bit. You're still quite young and everything is still very intense and confusing. It's alright to feel so much and be confused. I am still confused half the time, but I think the trick is to accept that you won't have the answers, and that you might never get as much answers as maybe you'd like. The thing with this life is that nobody can tell you what to think or what to do - all the things you worry about are things you have to figure out for yourself. Alot of people can give you advice and guidance, but ultimately it's your journey, and it's only you that can know what is right for you.  If you only listen to what other people say all the time, and do what they tell you, and even more importantly if your happiness is relying on another person, then you won't find your own path and your own wonderful strength and wisdom.

In truth; start listening to your own inner voice, and make your own choices in life. Surprise yourself. Read some books that is different from what you usually read, watch a movie that you wouldn't have watched. Study a subject or read an article that has a completely different view point than yours. Challenge yourself intellectually and emotionally.

But this is just my suggestion, maybe there's something else you should be doing - the point is that you are already strong and wise enough to guide yourself.

Much love & light

Nea


updated by @nea: 05/22/18 04:50:35PM

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