My daughter is struggling

Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
3 months ago
138 posts

She's 16. She goes to a very large school. She's been active in band, but lately she hasn't been able cope with all the other band kids. She's been skipping band class and going to the woods. Music is her life. She's is incredibly good at it. I want so desperately to encourage her to keep going and learn to cope with that nervous energy. I try to teach her about grounding and shielding. I drop crystals and stones in her backpack, I pray for her and find others to pray with me. I don't know what else to do. 

Yesterday, she went to the school counselor and said she had suicidal thoughts. That started a major fire storm. Both my wife and I left work and went to pick her up. The counselor let us know she wouldn't be allowed to come back to school until she was evaluated. We took her to a mental hospital downtown where she talked to a doctor. They gave us some treatment recommendations that included drugs to control her mood. Mood altering anti psychotic chemicals. The kind that just about every mass killer was on at the time they did what they did. Dangerous stuff in my opinion. I let the doctor know that she is an empath, but the response I got was "has she been diagnosed?". This woman had no idea what an empath is. I was asked a number of questions and had to explain what I meant. She didn't believe me, in fact, she was angry.  That makes it that much harder to explain. I don't mind skepticism. I've had some of the best conversations with skeptics. This was different. I didn't understand this kind of reaction. I asked her if she had ever heard the term before and she said in TV shows and movies. I suggested she should look it up and do her own research. So this is not something they teach in medical school. Now I've been getting calls from the hospital asking us if we would submit our daughter for a 7 day evaluation. Well, the answer was no and will always be no. They want to study her. 

I don't know what my next move should be. I'm looking for a therapist that has an understanding of the empathic condition. Or as least works with highly sensitive people and children. Hard to find locally. 

Six years ago I met with an astrophysicist at NASA about how to cope with this empathy thing. Driving through Houston everyday was killing me inside. I was referred to him by a Shaman that was a fellow aikidoist. I trusted both of these people and respected them highly, but I didn't want to be studied. He wanted to hook me up to what ever machine they have at NASA that measures some level ESP or possibly put me in a long term study. I said no thanks. At time it didn't sound like something I wanted to do. Now I kind of wish I asked more questions and maybe consented to at least being tested. That could have contributed to the body of knowledge on this subject. Am I being to protective of my daughter by not allowing her to be examined?    

I need suggestions on what to do and maybe your personal experiences at 16. I dropped out of school at 16. I couldn't deal with school or much else at that time of my life. I don't want my little girl to have to go through what I did or be limited by her gift. She has a support system that understands what she has to endure. I didn't. 

cat_is_very_broke
cat_is_very_broke
@cat-is-very-broke
3 months ago
14 posts
I have had huge issues in other areas of life with my children. The number 1 thing you need to do is piroritize what is the main couple issues u want looked at.. u need to have a main goal. The rest will be sub point. If not as u found with the fight with the mental doctor who didn't understand empaths things get lost very quickly.
A really good author who is also trying to educate doctors in North America is Judith Orloff, M.D.
My therapist told me one of the fastest ways of finding out if i want to let a doctor know I'm an empath is to ask their views on her medical opinions, if they share the same views then feel free if i choose to open up, but if not or no idea who she is then keep very quiet about being an empath. It is only starting to become a recognise medical opinion in some circles but most my life until I got the right therapist to help me understand what it was and why I feel things i don't understand (I fought my empath side most my life) did I have any idea who I really was. Before this doctors like to use the term Borderline personality disorder which for the right person is very helpful but an empath just gives the doctors the right to perscribe at will and the diagnosis doesn't help us at all. I tried all the treatments and came out more confused. So yes, be very careful with what is the diagnosis and monitor your daughters medical file, with the digital age that doc you fought with may have wrote down something that has nothing to do with empath and it could come back later and create issues for her, expecially with a career choice where medical records are required.
The other thing is why is your daughter skipping band and is it only band? When my children where skipping the majority of the answer was they were being bullied which could answer the reason why she expressed suicide. Then this become back to a school issue that the make big noise on the media they are trying to stop but alot of school look the other way or pretend it isn't happening.
I hope this helps you out. I wish you the best. It is going to be a thought road ahead but nothing is more rewarding than knowing that you have protected your child's rights.
sasha.w
sasha.w
@sasha-supertramp
3 months ago
79 posts

Not sure that helps, but my therapist understands the topic completely and does Skype sessions (based in London).

http://www.eggshelltherapy.com/

She specialises in emotionally sensitive and intense people with special gifts and has recently written a book on the topic that helped me a lot.

I am sure there are more people out there specialising in empath support that you could work with non-locally if that's an option at all.

sasha.w
sasha.w
@sasha-supertramp
3 months ago
79 posts

From that same website, http://www.eggshelltherapy.com/articles/

"DO PEOPLE HATE ME?" - SURVIVING JUDGEMENT, CRITICISM AND REJECTION WHEN YOU ARE A NON- CONFORMIST

I don't know the details of your daughters situation, but that whole topic was very relevant in my teens and I can tell you this therapist knows it inside out (in addition to having an understanding for empaths, psychic gifts, and such). 

i went through a major crisis at 16, too. i wasn't suicidal but completely dissociated and self-harming. my parents refused to send me to a therapist for the same reason, they'd seen friends drugged up and not helped by it. to be honest, i'm grateful for that. a good therapist would have saved me the work of digging myself out of self-harm and eating disorders over the next 10 years, but we were in a small town where it's unlikely anyone would have understood and might have made matters worse.

although i think now there's better help available more globally than 20 years ago. 

i relate to your concerns on drugs. this woman specialises in non-drug approaches (nutrition, lifestyle, spiritual) to major mental health issues, is an ex-psychiatrist who quit drugs and now publishes academic studies on people who were helped (in hardcore conditions) using a harmonious lifestyle. in fact i've been following much of her protocol (from the book "A Mind of Your Own") and it was a major breakthrough for me, never would have thought simple lifestyle changes could matter so much. i'd say, definitely try this before drugs. 

both of the people i mention specialise in women's mental health, too, so that may be a plus for your daughter. 

sasha.w
sasha.w
@sasha-supertramp
3 months ago
79 posts

PS. Dr Brogan has an online group-course that i haven't tried because i got enough out of the book / articles. may be worth checking if you daughter has general mood issues (not just triggered by specific events), PMS is a factor etc.

PPS. i was doing the same at 17, skipping school to walk in the woods. or to read in the library. when teachers asked me where i'd been, i answered truthfully – they thought it's a joke.

Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
3 months ago
909 posts

Hi...I'm sorry that your daughter is having a tough time....have you done a walk through of your home?...just felt around ?...and maybe take a walk through of the school and feel around there...take her with you so she can experience 'feeling' around her environment...I know it would be easier to NOT feel the energy but knowing what's going on and being able to separate self from all other energies is what she needs to do....the schools are FILLED with all types of energy that mix and hide in places.... I always feel the energy of students when they get on my bus and really...the energy they carry is totally overwhelming....I've always known...even when my head was telling me to kill myself it was NEVER me and turned out to be an energy trapped in my house...so when I found it and released it...all those thoughts of killing myself were gone... I think a LOT of people experience those thoughts because they encounter this type of energy and can't recognize that it is NOT part of their own thought process and are led down a dark road....she needs to find the source and find a way to separate herself from that energy she's picked up...cause it IS an energy that is NOT hers....it's a scary thing to suddenly start thinking about suicide...I honestly don't think those are her thoughts at all...did you recently purchase anything new...bring anything into the house?...is there a history with the school she goes to?...or she's picking up someting from another student and can't recognize it....are YOU empathic?...if you are you can start clearing her energy and teach her how to do it... she's an empath so you know she has to start doing things differently if she's to get through school and life easier...

If your wondering if it's ethical to start clearing her energy the answer...from my point of view...is yes...she's your daughter and needs assistance in finding the cords and links causing her trouble...don' t hide it...tell her it's what your going to do to help her...and if she' s interested she can learn herself...but as a parent...if I had kids...I wouldn't think twice about clearing my child's energy if I knew there was a dark spirit messing with him/her....or connected to someone who's not well...


updated by @womanwhowalks: 04/06/18 01:08:34AM
Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
3 months ago
909 posts
Also...as for taking medications....those won't work...at all...I was prescribed a drug that was supposedly 'the best drug out there' that supposedly took away the voices....it worked for all of 10 minutes...then nothing.....I'm clairaudient....not a mentally ill person...and my brain doesn't function the way the medical profession thinks it should....nor does any medication work to keep it down...but once your in that psyciatric system it's REALLY tough to break free....so just back her up by teaching her what needs to be done to help herself function as an empath...if I had known what I was and had someone to help me learn at that critical time who was human I woulda been SOOOO much happier...lol
Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
3 months ago
138 posts

So much good advise. I'm taking it all in. This kind of feedback lets me know I'm on the right track.

I got her a copy of The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People by Judith Orloff. Hopefully she reads it and we find a therapist that has read it. 

The main priority is to help her learn who to befriend and who to keep at a distance. She has always attracted these very broken kids to her. She befriends them and is manipulated by them. Two of her friends turned on her just a few months ago. They accused her of bullying them and doing drugs, when in reality they do the drugs and the bullying. These were band kids. The school was alerted and sat them down to talk it out and sent all three to a friendship class which was actually an anti-bully class. See doesn't see them much. She's in 1st concert band, they're in 3rd. She's dreading marching band which starts in the fall. That's when she would have to deal with them more often. She harbors resentment over it. 

The kids she hangs out with are narc children that become narc adults and just bring her down. She wouldn't talk to me about it, so I'll find some one she will talk to.

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
3 months ago
773 posts

@zacharias:

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. Ironically (at least for me), I'm going through the exact same thing with my 14 year old daughter. My daughter has had a real tough time being at school around the other kids. She is a very strong empath. Her vibration has been off and it's too intense for her to be around other kids most days.

The challenge for you and anyone in your situation is that modern society and modern medicine is not equipped to really help with this type of spiritual situation. But in my case we have made some progress with my daughter with some steps that we took as follows:

1) We took her to my naturopathic doctor who examined her and did blood work to see if there are any physical reasons that she is so anxious all of the time. 

2) We have her going to a therapist specializing in teenagers every week. This part has been very helpful. No matter how close you are with your kids, there are some things they just won't tell you. Having her go to a therapist has become the highlight of her week. She really trusts this person & the progress is very evident.

3) This 3rd one is the real key to our situation with identifying how her vibration got so low to put her in the frantic anxiety state that she has been in. Through all of the anxiety and depression that my daughter has gone through, I have noticed a gradual progression of darkness in her life. I've been watching her normally high empathic vibration sink to a low depressed vibration right before my eyes. After doing some research I found that children are especially vulnerable to entities attaching to them. These entities wait until there are cracks in their aura and attach. And like leeches they suck the energy out of them and over time lower the kid's vibration and change their personality. So I suspected this was the case with my daughter. I found a shaman online that specializes in kids. I scheduled an hour on the phone with this shaman and she found 8 entities attached to my daughter and went through to remove all of them. It was interesting to hear her describe most of the entities. As she would describe the energy of these entities we could correlate it to various behaviors that we had been seeing with our daughter (bitter anger, sadness etc...). There was even one entity that had been intentionally sabotaging her electronics. We found this last one very interesting since because my daughter has had 3 straight iphones and other electronics mysteriously stop working around her over the past year. 

The shaman we worked with is Mary Deveneau and her website is http://yourspiritguide.com/ . You book an hour with her and she'll connect with your daughter's spirit guides to try to get to the bottom of what is going on.

I hope this helps you and your situation. I will say that this has not been a quick fix. We got rid of the entities that attached. But there is no guarantee that other new entities won't try attaching again. And 14 year old drama and cruelty at school that she deals with isn't going away either. So every week has been a series of baby steps with our daughter in teaching her to protect and defend herself. And she has had some days where her behavior has slipped a bit and I've had to help her ground and pull her back. But it is really hard being a teenager and an empath. We're teaching her to use protections stones, grounding techniques, and having a focus on proper sleep as a way to combat this.

I hope this helps you. Hang in there!

alijay
@alijay
3 months ago
12 posts

some very distressing situations people have been placed in due to bullying, I'm sorry for what you all are going through and have been through, I hope that with time your situations improve and your children get the help and support that they need.

Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
3 months ago
909 posts
If you can...clear her energy of those kids soul ties...roots and all....she's still connected to them so taking them out will definitely help in the healing process....if they are narcessist's she needs them removed to be able to start healing ....
crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
3 months ago
124 posts
There is some good advice.

From my own experience I have taken the meds and the right ones will help. I did not have to take them long term. Empathy is being studied, just not every where in the states.

Someone mentioned judith orloff and she is good. She is actually a professor at UCLA where they allow her to research empathy and she is also an empath.

While being on hold at a hospital can be scary it can also help. It helped me. No they did not talk about empathy however the tools they gave me for coping help. And whether they acknowledge it or not most of the people there are empaths. They may not know they are empaths but because they have the same experience being around them did wonders for me. I know that most are completely against conventional therapy, I know from personal experience that is throwing the baby out with the bath water.

There is always the option of her studying music privately.

I am classically trained pianist. After a while because I am an empath the conventional study of music did not work for me either. Musicians are filled with heavy energies and being stuck around the wrong ones, like the jealous ones can hurt like hell.

I took gabapentin and zoloft. After doing research on my own I found that gabapentin can actually dull some of the empathic nature. It gave me time to get control of my empathic nature. I took it for almost a year and then I was able to stop

In therapy we learned about setting boundaries. That was the greatest tool any empath can recieve. Un my life being able to do this has helped me keep the unwanted people away. They also know that they cannot bother me because I have made it clear what I will deal with. Having a good sense of boundaries developed a great trust in self. When I am not trusting of myself I do not feel safe and my empathetic nature flares up.

There is also dialectical behavioral therapy. Most congnitive therapist teach it. It is actually the ground work for getting a handle on your empathic nature, the doctors who teach it just don't realize that. This therapy is all about being mindful and living in the moment. It also involves a lot of meditating. The cognitive therapy also teaches you to control your mind and be aware of what is going on at all times.

For myself as an empath being aware of what is going on inside my head has made being an empath fun.

I went through the suicidal phase. It was horrible and confusing because the truth was that I did not want to die. In fact I believe I was picking up so much negative energy that it got internalized and manifested into suicidal thoughts.

After taking the medication short term, going to therapy, and doing my own work with my empathy I feel much better.

I'm not saying your daughter needs meds. In Hope's that something in my experience can be helpful.

I will say the gabapentin helped much more than the zoloft. In fact I think it was the only med that helped. Once I started taking it I was able to stop taking the zoloft. I will also give you a heads up in case you are interested in the gabapentin. It has such a mild effect that the dose prescribed can be very high. However it is also one of those meds that the doctor gave me freedom with. He gave me the prescription and told me to take what felt right for me.
crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
3 months ago
124 posts
http://mysilentecho.com/dreamtongue1.htm

This is an online guide to getting a handle on your empathic nature. I will say the book is very different from most. It pushed me to really think outside the box and change how I understand my empathetic nature. Every experience for empaths is an empathetic one. We do not experience the world in the same way. It's not just like we have a sixth sense, it more like the way our senses operate are different. Once I started to understand what he was trying to teach us in this book a whole new world, a whole new way of living has opened up. I no longer get drowned in the outside energies because I have learned that what we see and feel and so on it the world, not just self. Once 8 realized that I was able to see what energies where mine and what energies belong to others. The answer was 98 percent. I know that sounds like putting blame on others and using empathetic nature as a crutch but the proof is in the freedom I now feel. The love and joy I find in my nature. We are not like other humans, we cannot fully understand ourselves on those terms. Once we let go of traditional ways of thinking we find our truth.

I will keep your daughter in my heart and prayers. I pray that this experience strengthens her and turns positive. It may give her a push to really get control of her empathic nature. That this is happening while she is still young and in your care, while it is not ideal, is a blessing. She has your support and strength to help her through and grow into a strong and healthy empath.

Many blessings

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