Negative CoWorkers

sashacat1995
@sashacat1995
5 months ago
40 posts

Hello my beautiful empaths!

I've been having trouble with a co-worker lately.  We are really good friends, or at least we had been, but lately her energy has been causing me to have an aversion/irritation to her.  I spoke with a psychic about this because it has gotten so bad.  I dread hanging out with her or even talking to her sometimes and we share an office space.  A psychic told me that she has a lot of negativity going on in her personal life and my aversion to that is because I'm feeling it.  It's interesting, because I feel like before I was an aware empath I was more tolerant of these kinds of things, an now it's like even sometimes hearing her breath makes me annoyed. I feel really bad that mentally I can't be there for her like I feel like a good friend should.  

Anyways, the woman advised that I try to back off and invite peace into my space, and they she would start to back off as I repel her negativity. It's just so hard when we share a room together.  She said to burn a white candle, but I can't do that at work.  What should I do?  How can I invite peace into my work space.  How do I set boundaries without hurting my coworkers feelings?  She confides in me a lot about this guy she's been dating for years that treats her terribly and she insists on staying with him, she also complains a lot about our work. I get it, I've been with a bad guy before and our workplace isn't the best, but It's just too much for me now.  It wasn't at first, but I guess as I've become more sensitive I've REALLY become more sensitive without realizing it.  I don't enjoy feeling this way, but I also don't want to seem like a bad person.  Help :(

crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
5 months ago
167 posts
I have had similar experiences with co-workers and friends.

At my job now there is a woman who is extremely nice but I want nothing to do with her.

I have found that she is going through a terrible time in life and the reality is that she wants nothing to do with herself. At first I would get really sick and tired around her. So I started avoiding her and I felt bad.

When I heard her talking I started to realize that it wasn't what I was feeling it was what she was feeling. I do that a lot and have only recently began to really see it.

So now I remind myself that the pain, anger, or whatever, is not mine. Doing that helps me have patience with her.

I take a moment to let that energy ground and I feel better.

I carry a lot of grounding stones with me. I wear them or keep them in my pocket. When she gets close I palm some of them for extra help.

I also have a friend who has troubled relationships. She'll call me and then her pain is with me just as much as it is with her.

As bad as I felt I had to be firm with her in setting my boundaries. I didn't have the luxury of being subtle because we are so close. It was hard, her feelings were definitely hurt even though I was careful to make my words gentle.

In that situation I had to make a choice. Her depression was so bad that it was affecting my life. And I feel that my initial unwillingness to hurt her was enabling her to not face her problems and come up with a solution.

I hate to say that it took over a year and a lot of being firm in my boundaries and not picking up the phone when I didn't feel right about it. But now I feel much better. And it is much easier to talk to her. And she also seems to be doing better.

I had to accept that people go through rough times and sometimes times that is apart of life. I cannot protect others from that.

Someone I knew once told me; " you cannot help a butterfly out of it's cocoon because it will never learn."

In the practical sense if you tried to help an actual butterfly from its cocoon it would die. It is the strenuous process of coming out of the cocoon that makes its frail wings strong and thus able to fly and carry its body. If a butterfly can't fly it will surely be eaten, or die of starvation, or die from weakness.

Hope you find something helpful in my story.

Take care!
Burleigh_surfer
Burleigh_surfer
@burleigh-surfer
5 months ago
36 posts
I work with 60 people in this company. Each person has their vibe, some draw me in, some make me feel sick, some anxious and some feel so gross I can't even make eye contact. Very few are happy and I can feel it. My boss fills his office with angst and anger most days. I can feel it spilling into the hallway so I spin on my heels and leave the building.
i basically rock up to do my job and leave now. I've become a total loner as I can't shield completely all day everyday. And our staff turn around is stupidly quick and I get lumped with training the Greenies.

Hard work this knowing and feeling gig. I end up having everyone unload on me.
Clearing each arvo for me works a treat.
TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
5 months ago
387 posts
@sashacat1995 I've had many coworkers like you explained and I'm battling with one now in a way I've never had to before. :(

I know at work we can't light candles, but what about crystals? I have 2 at my desk. I also have plants, some have died from the negativity. The first one I ever had almost died, so I brought it home and now it's flourishing again.

Sometimes small comments of I'm sorry or that sucks or ya I don't know. Will help to some degree. You can always document what they are doing and saying and ask others if this is a hostile working environment. We all have personal problems, but if it's affecting their work or yours, you may need to go to your boss or HR.

If it's smaller things, boundaries are good. So idmf she's complaining about her BF say "I'm sorry this is happening, but I've got things here I have to finish one. Things will get better" something like that.
sashacat1995
@sashacat1995
5 months ago
40 posts

@TigerLily & @crystalsage

I have cleaned and charged a hematite and black tourmaline.  The hematite I am keeping in my bra (sorry if that's TMI) and I am currently wearing black tourmaline in a cage necklace.  I was wearing Jasper, but I think this combination of hematite and tourmaline will do the trick. I made sure to shield this morning and I also sent her light.  Tonight, I will place black obsidian underneath my pillowcase to draw out any negativity that may have attached itself to me.

I have a selenite spiral tower and a flourite slab that I'm bringing back into the office tomorrow.  I had taken them home to recharge them.  I have a sage spray, and whenever I'm in the office alone I try to spray my area.  

@Burleigh_surfer *Wipes brow* shielding is a full-time job.

crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
5 months ago
167 posts
@sashacat1995 Can you put headphones on at work?

I do on rough days and it helps. I have a friend who even bought the wireless headset. So it's hard to tell when she is listening to music.
sashacat1995
@sashacat1995
5 months ago
40 posts

@crystalsage  

I do actually use wireless headphones at work.  It stops most people, but unfortunately, it doesn't stop her too much lol.  If I'm listening to something she'll ask me what podcast I'm listening to.  What music, what am I doing for lunch?  Where am I going? What time? What am I eating? Mostly I've started giving her shorter answers.

If she says something to me about her personal life (her dad's in the hospital, her boyfriend cheating on her) I give a short response (she usually elaborates even if I don't respond).  I've also tried to work on not facing my body towards her.  

I feel so bad because she really is a sweet person, I just can't tolerate the negativity or invasiveness.  Especially now that I've gotten more spiritual, I don't necessarily want to disclose certain things, but how do you set boundaries with something you were okay with 6 months ago.

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
4 months ago
861 posts

@sashacat1995:

A couple years ago I managed an office where I was the only guy with 5 women. And one of the women was best described as an alpha female with anger issues. And she was a very unhappy person who would manipulate the other ladies and create factions that would fight with one another. It was a complete viper pit. I snuck some rose quartz stones and placed 5 of them around her desk and in other areas of the office. And for a while it really did calm things down to where the environment really was better. But eventually her evilness prevailed and her rage was more than I could subdue. So I had to fire her. But if your friend is more of a reasonable person, you may want to try the rose quartz near her desk and see if you can tame her a bit. 

crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
4 months ago
167 posts
When it comes to boundaries in my experience I have had to be just as firm with people I love as I would with strangers. In some cases I would even have to be more strict with those closest to me.

I like the rose quartz idea. I also have crystals work. Maybe you could even give her one as a gift for her desk since you are close.

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