I don't know if it's bad energy. The way it was explained to me was that it is energy that does not belong to me.
I don't think the body can handle all that excess energy for long and maybe that's why we get tired and start to feel sick.
I hand an issue with my hand that left me unable to use it for 6 months. And even after that i dealt with a great deal of pain for almost 2 years.
After 4 months of meditating with shungite and cerrusite I got the full use of my hand back. And lots of other things improved. The first day I started with the two stones my whole body shook uncontrollably. It felt like there was an earthquake happening inside me. The more I did it the less I shook. After a while my mood drastically improved. I had been going through a severe depression and was even suicidal. It was strange though because it was like there were two of me. There was a strong urge to want to end my life, but there was another part of me that kept saying no call for help. It was like I had no control of my own mind. I was on a lot of medications until I removed the excess energy. Then all the depression and suicidal thoughts went away as if they were never there.
In fact that is the event that made me accept I was an empath. At first I thought I was silly but the more I researched and soul search the more life made sense. The better I felt.
So I became curious at just how much was me and how much was other people. I grew up in a small town and was very secluded from others because of my up bringing. So I was fortunate to be able to spend my childhood truly connected with my true self.
In fact I never had problems unless I was around a tremendous amount of people. Small groups were fine because I spent so much time alone that I grounded outside energy unconsciously.
I ran into major problems when I first moved to new York city. However I had a very rough upbringing so I thought it was my own mind that was the problem. I new that I had certain gifts because I always seemed to know things about places and people and never knew why. There were also other experiences I couldn't deny.
This part is also @krosskelt
. I now live in the bay area and I totally understand what you mean about sf. It is the most heartbroken city I have ever visited. There is so much pain there. In fact it was where I was when the suicidal thoughts started happening.
Therapy is what made me realize it was the energy of the city I was picking up on. I would go to work in the city and the anxiety and depression would be driven to extreme lengths. I would take a break for a few days and be completely back to normal. At first the doctor thought I was bipolar and so did I. But I didn't have the right symptoms for bipolar 1 or 2. I wouldn't get manic or hypomanic, just extremely depressed and then normal. In fact my doctor's office was about 30 miles from the city and most of the time I would be perfectly fine by the time I got there unless I had been working in the city for weeks on end.
I know for myself that even when i realized and accepted my empathetic abilities i had no clue just how much of my life was being lived based on outside energy that i was picking up. The short answer was all of it. It was like i was a cup that was not only full but being constantly overflowed.
I must say that as crazy as that experience has been i am totally excited for the future. I don't have a complete handle on my abilities but I am aware of them now and I have myself back and I have missed my beautiful soul. I have always felt different and now I know why and I am happy for it.
I honestly think that most, if not all of what you feel is empathetic. However I am of the strongest mind that only you can truly know that. For myself when I was new to my empath side one of my greatest fears was that I was using this as an excuse to displace blame. Now I realize that it was just a fear.
I could seriously go on forever about this. I now know who I am, and while there are no true words to explain it. I will say this. The true me doesn't feel much pain, sadness or anger or much of anything. I mean that in a sage like, not dissociative, way. What I do feel is the world. I don't know just what I am supposed to do with that yet. I do believe that as empaths we are a lot stronger than we truly know. I think the world we now live in has suppressed us for so long that we have rightfully become afraid of truly accepting just what we are capable of.
I love you all much. Truly enjoying this feed.
Gotta get back to work.