Family issues & living with someone who accumulates and unloads stress

sasha.w
sasha.w
@sasha-supertramp
5 months ago
79 posts

so this is the first time i'll throw a kind of personal issue in here. i just wonder what you would have to say about that, as i'm still not sure what to think or how to best solve this. 

i've gone back to living with my parents for a few weeks (leaving soon). i've had a long-standing conflictual relationship with my father (ever since my teens), but i could never quite pinpoint what the conflict was about -- it wasn't like we disagree on some concrete, practical issue. more like simply his presence and (frequently dismissive or invasive, occasionally offensive) remarks driving me nuts to the point where i get tense the moment we're under the same roof. 

i know you discuss narcissists a lot here, i'm not quite sure what that is or that it's good to immediately give that label to people who are difficult to be with, but as far as i gather my dad tends to say hurtful / offensive things without realising it -- probably more kind of asperger / autism spectrum if you wish to classify that (he has a lot of those traits and so do i). he'd just say bluntly that he thinks something is stupid or pointless (that the other person cares about) or that someone is irrational or crazy or overreacting -- in extremely insensitive ways, when he thinks he's merely "stating facts".

now since my dad has always been like this and nobody really confronted him about it (except me at a point) i grew up believing that his way is the norm and there is something wrong with me for getting hurt by those types of remarks (i still need to remind myself on a regular basis that he's put off many potential friends and family members by doing what he does to remember that it's not just me and not my fault). i guess in a sense after growing up in that way part of me is seeking "objective" validation that i'm not the crazy one here. 

still, spending these few weeks with my parents now that i'm more conscious of specifically empath issues, i've started wondering in how far me being an empath plays into this making it worse. because most people can still take my dad -- they admit he's "difficult" and frequently annoying, but e.g. my mother and brother somehow deal with it without major blow-ups. (while some other people get tense or shorten their visits.)

i have realised that an additional element in this mess could be that my father is carrying a lot of stress and resentment around, e.g. serious work frustrations (having worked himself up the ladder as an immigrant from a rather disrespected place in a foreign country with huge effort and stress), a court trial, and presumably (obviously?) childhood trauma (from an alcoholic household). ever since i was a very young child, he was never skimp with unloading these huge stresses and frustrations -- how his home country got ruined, how capitalism is monstrous, how people are exploitative, how the world and people generally suck -- in front of me or even to me (as a child and teen). 

i've over time learnt to stop him, saying that i can't bear listening to this negativity -- which has affected me much too much anyways since my youth, perhaps taking away much of my confidence and trust in people / hopefulness -- so i shut that up when it starts again. still -- it's like i constantly feel the hovering of this dark cloud, and i still get nervous and tense when i'm in the same room or even under the same roof. 

now that he's gone traveling for a few days, i feel -- crazy -- how my digestion and sleep starts functioning normally again. i didn't even realise how off-kilter these have gone in the last weeks while staying here. it shocks me in a way, that i can get so affected by this, that it's possibly still poisoning my life -- i probably still carry so much of this energy. 

so i basically see two issues here ... one about drawing boundaries, me learning to say when enough is enough and protect myself on a verbal / pragmatic level and finding my inner safety and self-respect. which is hard because i can feel how my dad takes all that personally, e.g. avoiding him, shutting him up, etc. but i don't really have the skill or nerve to do it gracefully. the other thing is the empath issue, of simply being in the presence of someone who is very burdened -- carrying a lot of old weight, resentment, breeding anger in a way, and also having a lot of inner fragility (which i have also instinctively sensed since i was a child and which probably stopped me from protecting myself in the first place). 

i would simply avoid him if that didn't mean avoiding the rest of the family, too (they live together and my mum isn't really into doing stuff alone, she's subordinating herself pretty much to running the household). i've actually avoided them to a significant degree for almost a decade, which i believe has weakened me as i didn't resolve the underlying emotional turmoil either. 

i also think i've been literally living out some of my dad's frustrations, e.g. i'm pretty much unable to live in the country we migrated to in my childhood (even though it's a rich country with a high standard in social security and everything else) -- i get crazy psychosomatic reactions and freak out when i have to stay there. so i've had to re-start my life in still other places, without family support, which has destabilised me. 

have you dealt with something like this or can you relate?

i don't really know what i expect, i just thought maybe someone has been through something similar and can relate or give their experience, or otherwise any chunk of potential insight on how to minimise the suffering here. 

thanks in advance and have a great day


updated by @sasha-supertramp: 03/16/18 04:29:55AM
crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
5 months ago
167 posts
You answer your own questions in a way. His dark cloud( or his energy is hovering over you). Or at least that has been my experience.

Most recent example from my life is a weird work day I had. There is this girl who I work with who has very negative energy. One day it was like it was flowing over the entire store but I did not realise it was her at first. I was feeling sick and uncomfortable and thought it was just me until another co-worker turned to me and said it feels weird in here today, and then a second said the same.

I knew my instincts where telling me to keep my distance from her even though she is a nice person but I did not know why. As soon as she left, that weird feeling was completely gone.

It sounds like you may want to work on building up your empathic shield. There are many ways to do this you just have to find what works for you.

I am a big fan of crystals. I wear a lot of different kinds. Black kyanite and black tourmaline are my favorite. As well as jet and lapis luzuil. I like to wear the lapis as a necklace because it helps balance the energy in my lungs which is where anxiety likes to manifest as well as the large intestines. There are many more crystals. I also make a pouch and keep it near my sacral chakra when I am around family because they stir up lots of emotion. I take my crystals off every night to separate the energy I picked from myself and also to cleanse them of that energy. It makes a huge difference.

There are also breathing and grounding exercise you can use to help shield yourself if you like that better.

I also write. I just do free hand and right the thoughts as they come to get them out. Could end up being just one word write 50 times. Helps shift my energy.

Goingh back to the lungs holding anxiety and stress, I blow raspberries to help clear out any old energy stuck in my lungs.

Another thing I have begun to do is acknowledging that I have picked up someone else. I call it bonding. Sometimes the energy of another person is so strong that it's almost like they are sitting inside my body. I acknowledge that presence and give it time to leave. The acknowledgement keeps me from reacting to feelings that are not my own.

Parents are tough because we love them even when we are tires of them. That love is like an open pathway. It makes it easy form their energy to get in.

Boundaries help a great deal but I understand it can be hard. Especially living in a world full of people with different ideas. Working on developing a strong connection to my empathic nature has made dealing with people even difficult people fun. It just takes time.

I believe he gets upset when you try to avoid or draw boundaries because a part of him is aware that being around you relieve some of his burden.

I have been bonded to several people not knowing I was doing this. Setting boundaries was very difficult and it took time. I had to learn to be gentle with them while putting my foot down.

I think of empaths as human crystals. We absorb energy the same way and have to cleanse or bodies of that energy that does not belong to us just the same.

Salt and water are amazing for this.

Hoped that helped. If I think of anything else I'll write.

Good luck.
Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
5 months ago
954 posts

Hi...your issues sound quite familiar to me as I grew up on pins and needles with a mother who could go off any minute...and feeling anxious about saying something to invite her sharp tongue and condescending words....this is my adopted mother....her energy to an empathic child was extremely overwhelming....and she was totally unpredictable....and because there was no one to protect me I withdrew from her...she's a bully and does not see it...but as I grew older my fear of here didn't go....because I was living my life as a fearful child...

So I was never able to break the fearful cycle....I would avoid her out of fear when I got older...she'd become demanding and angry because (how I felt at the time )...I wasn't being a dutiful daughter and following what SHE believed I should be doing for make her happy...and this went on for a long time...until there came a time where I knew I had to heal myself FIRST in order to be able to deal with her...this was a bit before I even knew what I really was...an empath....I knew I was always sensitive...but again brainwashed into thinking I was the problem...which wasn't true at all...

again as a child we absorb and learn how to treat ourselves through the connections and living with family...So If you're living with people who are unhappy with themselves they will ultimately pass it on to you...and after learning about my empathic nature and that I WASN'T just a crazy person....I began to understand I would have to find MYSELF ....I couldn't fix my mother....but I COULD fix and heal myself....and that was to deal with the childhood stuff I was dealt thru her....

and a lot of it was that iI was never able to verbalize and protect myself as she never gave me a chance...she was in control...and the verbalization was an important issue because I kept it bottled up...i was never able to release it so I carried it...and it sat in my body and aura...and I realized that a LOT of people do...any unaddressed issues becomes an energy that we actually carry and it's noticeable after awhile...

So...to heal my own issues I had to deal with the child...I wrote my mom a letter because there was no way I could express myself to her without her shutting me down...we each have to find our own way to deal....and I sent it to her in an email...I told her all the angry things I kept pent up...and was so shocked when this HUGE black energy suddenly left...it was a tight black mass that suddenly began to unravel in my left arm...then as it unravelled I realized the pain was now in my back....and it was extremely painful for a good 5 minutes....it was all the fear and anger I'd held in for all those years actually stored somewhere in my body and soul...and after it was dun I felt soooo much better and even thought my mother was the same as she ever was I felt better...

i realized I couldn't fix her....she had her own dark energy she carried around and didn't even know it...and because I know it I find I can be compassionate towards her even though she drove me crazy...I also severed all soul ties and energy connections to her so I wasn't receiving her energy and she mine...

you can't fix your dad....you CAN fix you and remove the programming that makes you afraid of him....he's passed his unhappiness to you...in more ways than one...sever all energy connections to him...and repair the damage...then you can learn how to be in his presence and still be ok.....it takes some work but eventually after you heal yourself it will all become like a dream....


updated by @womanwhowalks: 03/16/18 01:54:54PM
sasha.w
sasha.w
@sasha-supertramp
5 months ago
79 posts

@crystalsage

crystalsage "]

Another thing I have begun to do is acknowledging that I have picked up someone else. I call it bonding. Sometimes the energy of another person is so strong that it's almost like they are sitting inside my body. I acknowledge that presence and give it time to leave. The acknowledgement keeps me from reacting to feelings that are not my own.

ya, the "sitting in my body" thing is pretty much what it feels like. my dad just came back from the trip and the contrast is so strong -- i almost feel physically sick in my solar plexus and stomach, and while before i was writing and working on my website, now i feel like i shouldn't touch it as that yucky energy will go into the things i'm working on and i don't want that. 

it's also interesting what you say because when i do distance healings, i usually visualise the person in front of me, but for some people it's like they immediately "snap" on top of my own energy field so to speak -- feel like i'm in their body or they in mine. there's some kind of total overlap. that exact thing happened when i was doing a healing on my dad once (which actually helped him with a chronic pain thing) ... i felt like i'm basically unable to distinguish what is him and what is me, and i felt like stuff is being simultaneously healed in me. 

i also had a huge "healing crisis" afterwards, basically a "trip" lasting a few hours in which i felt like my (energy) body was being reconfigured and it was so intense i had to stay in bed. 

i guess i really have to work hard on separating this energy off. 

crystalsage "]

It sounds like you may want to work on building up your empathic shield. There are many ways to do this you just have to find what works for you. ... There are also breathing and grounding exercise you can use to help shield yourself if you like that better.

what i usually do is trying to remember and go back to my own "pure" energy. so i've had two days of this "fresh air" now (i feel that my own energy is actually fairly clear, transparent, pleasant when i'm left to my own devices) and i'm just trying to keep feeling that knowing that this is me, and not that yucky feeling of tension and heaviness and coarseness that i get from my father. 

it's hard to do -- i realise just now as i try.

one reason it's hard is that i got so used as just accepting that heavy, aggressive / coarse energy as mine. but i saw now clearly that this is not me at all, it's him. when i'm alone i'm different (and a much nicer person).

the second reason it's hard is actually -- big aha moment -- that i feel like when i relax and go back to my own natural state of energy -- i become very open. i become open, hopeful, positive, joyful, playful, gentle, light, attentive ... which makes me emotionally vulnerable also because his harshness and negativity hurts much more when i'm in that state. and my dad has also actively made me believe that it's "naive" and stupid to be like that. i think that's why i'm afraid to go back to my natural state when near this person. i fear that my naturally positive orientation towards the world is just an illusion and it will be squashed very soon by one of his heavy, painful, aggressive "realities". 

so i prefer to hide, i don't even dare to breathe.

sasha.w
sasha.w
@sasha-supertramp
5 months ago
79 posts

@womanwhowalks Hi Karen, i have a request if that's ok to ask -- would it be a big deal to place a paragraph break (empty line) in between the points you make in your posts to make them more readable to the eye?

i'm saying that because i've seen several of your posts and wanted to reply, but the reason i didn't was that that my eyes aren't in the best shape and are also usually tortured from working on the computer all day and i can't stick out reading huge monster paragraphs without seeing everything double. 

i hope that's not offensive in any way, i'm just saying it because i'd like to read and respond to what you're saying and that one banal minor thing would just make it SO much easier on my end. 

i'll try to give it a go now :)

Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
5 months ago
954 posts
Sorry...lol...it's just how it leaves my brain....I type the way I think....I think it's the way my ancestors talk too...lol...I'll try but won't make any promises...lol
Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
5 months ago
954 posts
Ok...I think I fixed it....lol
crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
5 months ago
167 posts
I have also found that the more I work on developing my empathic nature. Which to me means fully embracing it, for instance taking a peak into the different energies present around me has helped keep me from unconsciously absorbing energies.

There is a free online book that gives advice on how to do this. Below is the website.

http://mysilentecho.com/dreamtongue1.htm

After practicing some of the techniques I realized that my empathic nature is always on. Instead of fighting with it I embrace it as I would any part of my body.
sasha.w
sasha.w
@sasha-supertramp
5 months ago
79 posts

@womanwhowalks

ok, i've managed to read that one finally ... 

thanks a lot, it sounds very similar. also internalising in that kind of situation that YOU're the crazy one. 

thanks for sharing how you dealt with it. 

Karen2:

I wrote my mom a letter because there was no way I could express myself to her without her shutting me down...we each have to find our own way to deal....and I sent it to her in an email...I told her all the angry things I kept pent up...and was so shocked when this HUGE black energy suddenly left...it was a tight black mass that suddenly began to unravel in my left arm...then as it unravelled I realized the pain was now in my back....and it was extremely painful for a good 5 minutes....it was all the fear and anger I'd held in for all those years actually stored somewhere in my body and soul...

i might try something like that. think my problem at the moment is still that i don't fully believe that i'm right here or that i have a right to protect myself even if it will hurt the other person. although i don't think it can hurt him as much as it's cost me all these years (basically i believe my relationship and interpersonal problems and the fact i'm unable to live in the country i grew up are all related to that), but i don't know. 

but it helps to read that this stuff CAN leave your body once you express and externalise it. it's painful to think about how many years of my life it's cost me but ... better that than staying stuck with it for the rest ...

Karen2:

i realized I couldn't fix her....she had her own dark energy she carried around and didn't even know it...and because I know it I find I can be compassionate towards her even though she drove me crazy...I also severed all soul ties and energy connections to her so I wasn't receiving her energy and she mine...you can't fix your dad....you CAN fix you and remove the programming that makes you afraid of him....he's passed his unhappiness to you...in more ways than one...sever all energy connections to him...and repair the damage...then you can learn how to be in his presence and still be ok.....it takes some work but eventually after you heal yourself it will all become like a dream....

what was the thing for you that made it possible to lose the fear? if i may ask ... just curious. 

as i still do have an issue with fear, even though i know i'm not in physical danger. but it's like it's ingrained somehow. 

also, in my case there's the added issue that for whatever reason i'm not able to find stability in my own life -- i'm always in a whirl of change and sometimes i get so tired of it and then there are moments like these when something goes wrong (with work, with a relationship) and i just need a place to crash and i end up at my parents. because despite all they're always ready to help on the material level, and i have a good relation with my mother and brother and i miss them. so it's like i keep going back to this, not fully finding my independence. 

also because of the psychological damage i believe. it would be easier if i didn't have this deep wound regarding migration and didn't have to start off in a new country every time. and if every relationship i start wouldn't go to hell because of that darkness i still carry. and if i didn't get depressed on and off finding it hard to stick to a line of work/career. but that's just "if"s. hm.

it's a bit like the psychological damage is in the way of sorting my life to be independent more or less; then the lack of independence throws me back into this toxic situation when i'm still too weak. 

sasha.w
sasha.w
@sasha-supertramp
5 months ago
79 posts

Karen2: Sorry...lol...it's just how it leaves my brain....I type the way I think....I think it's the way my ancestors talk too...lol...I'll try but won't make any promises...lol

haha yes i figured ... that you just write the way you talk ... anyways i got through your post somehow helping myself by highlighting the part of the text that i've already read ... so maybe that's some method to deal with it :D

sasha.w
sasha.w
@sasha-supertramp
5 months ago
79 posts

omg THANKS!!!! i see you edited it ... it's just SO much easier to just look at it and take in / remember / think through the points you make now (at least for my type of brain)

sasha.w
sasha.w
@sasha-supertramp
5 months ago
79 posts

a thousand blessings for that!

sasha.w
sasha.w
@sasha-supertramp
5 months ago
79 posts

crystalsage "]

I have also found that the more I work on developing my empathic nature. Which to me means fully embracing it, for instance taking a peak into the different energies present around me has helped keep me from unconsciously absorbing energies. There is a free online book that gives advice on how to do this. Below is the website. http://mysilentecho.com/dreamtongue1.htm:target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://mysilentecho.com/dreamtongue1.htm After practicing some of the techniques I realized that my empathic nature is always on. Instead of fighting with it I embrace it as I would any part of my body.

hm ok that book looks a bit monstrous and like a bigger project to read. will have a look if there's anything in it that's new as i have tried a range of techniques. 

question: by embracing your empath nature and peeking into the different energies, do you mean that you deliberately keep your empath radar "on" and use it deliberately to "scan" situations so that you then know what's around and recognise when it's on you?

am i understanding this right? have never done this, if it's what you mean might be a thing to try.

so the idea is basically to make conscious what you're otherwise doing unconsciously all the time -- you're not really trying to stop it (as in, fight your nature) but just trying to become more aware of what's going on?

second question: just curious how you or the sources you use see it; you say your empathic nature is always on -- does that mean that for some people it switches on and off? (i'd assume mine is always on, too, anyways ...) do you or your sources think that that's just a given, or are there ways to switch it on and off? just curious.

at least i haven't found a way to switch it "off" so far, as you say it's more like a body part. i can just decide about and fine-tune the way i use it, but i can't really decide just not to have it.

greetings

Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
5 months ago
954 posts

sasha.w:

@womanwhowalks

ok, i've managed to read that one finally ... 

thanks a lot, it sounds very similar. also internalising in that kind of situation that YOU're the crazy one. 

thanks for sharing how you dealt with it. 


Karen2:

I wrote my mom a letter because there was no way I could express myself to her without her shutting me down...we each have to find our own way to deal....and I sent it to her in an email...I told her all the angry things I kept pent up...and was so shocked when this HUGE black energy suddenly left...it was a tight black mass that suddenly began to unravel in my left arm...then as it unravelled I realized the pain was now in my back....and it was extremely painful for a good 5 minutes....it was all the fear and anger I'd held in for all those years actually stored somewhere in my body and soul...

i might try something like that. think my problem at the moment is still that i don't fully believe that i'm right here or that i have a right to protect myself even if it will hurt the other person. although i don't think it can hurt him as much as it's cost me all these years (basically i believe my relationship and interpersonal problems and the fact i'm unable to live in the country i grew up are all related to that), but i don't know. 

but it helps to read that this stuff CAN leave your body once you express and externalise it. it's painful to think about how many years of my life it's cost me but ... better that than staying stuck with it for the rest ...


Karen2:

i realized I couldn't fix her....she had her own dark energy she carried around and didn't even know it...and because I know it I find I can be compassionate towards her even though she drove me crazy...I also severed all soul ties and energy connections to her so I wasn't receiving her energy and she mine...you can't fix your dad....you CAN fix you and remove the programming that makes you afraid of him....he's passed his unhappiness to you...in more ways than one...sever all energy connections to him...and repair the damage...then you can learn how to be in his presence and still be ok.....it takes some work but eventually after you heal yourself it will all become like a dream....

what was the thing for you that made it possible to lose the fear? if i may ask ... just curious. 

as i still do have an issue with fear, even though i know i'm not in physical danger. but it's like it's ingrained somehow. 

also, in my case there's the added issue that for whatever reason i'm not able to find stability in my own life -- i'm always in a whirl of change and sometimes i get so tired of it and then there are moments like these when something goes wrong (with work, with a relationship) and i just need a place to crash and i end up at my parents. because despite all they're always ready to help on the material level, and i have a good relation with my mother and brother and i miss them. so it's like i keep going back to this, not fully finding my independence. 

also because of the psychological damage i believe. it would be easier if i didn't have this deep wound regarding migration and didn't have to start off in a new country every time. and if every relationship i start wouldn't go to hell because of that darkness i still carry. and if i didn't get depressed on and off finding it hard to stick to a line of work/career. but that's just "if"s. hm.

it's a bit like the psychological damage is in the way of sorting my life to be independent more or less; then the lack of independence throws me back into this toxic situation when i'm still too weak. 

I don't think the fear goes away entirely...it's recognizing if for what it is and either ignoring it or pushing through it to get it out of the way... Because it's HOW it was pushed on me and how I feel it in my body when confronted I can recognize WHERE it's coming from and work my way through it....

For myself angry controntations with others is quite difficult...face to face....the energy that emitted by angry people...even myself...yes I can feel my own energy....scares me...and it may be part of my empathedness...but a lot of it is how my parent wouldn't let me speak...you can't speak to people who won't let you speak...especially angry ones because they aren't prepared to listen...

for me a LOT of so called arguments are silly and stupid and I end up laughing because it's so silly...lol...some people don't like that...but i see the funny side...and it's mostly directed at my own reactions...but THEY don't see it....lol...So sometimes it IS my fault...but again laughing at my own silliness keeps my own fear at bay...

Always remember though...you as an empath sense energy...you're reacting to something in your dad's energy....keep that in mind then you're in his presence...and that you are not quite sure what it is... change the wording in your head...sever the energy cords...learn all that and it becomes easier....once you deal with the issue you'll find everything evens out...

remember...some of those issues are not even yours....learn how to do energy work...because really?...a LOT of the issues I thought were my own were someone else's.... So before you do anything clean out your energy of all soul ties energy connections and roots to people you no longer are in contact with AND of ones who you are...do a completed removal and start fresh...then see what happens and how you TRULY are before you blame yourself for anything..


updated by @womanwhowalks: 03/16/18 02:41:17PM
crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
5 months ago
167 posts

That is exactly what I mean. It's going to happen anyway so I embrace it.

Holding black tourmaline does help me shut it down for the most part. It's how I "take a nap" so to speak. When I'm truly tired I sleep holding a combo of black tourmaline and jet in my had. It draws out all the access energy. For me it feels like my brain is being emptied and shielded without me having to do a lot of work.

The book is a bit dense. I took one chapter every few days And stopped when I didn't feel like it. I have tried several other books, this one had the most effective techniques. I don't not follow all the instructions I have added my own personal twist to help it suite me better. After reading and trying it's techniques for me the empathic information flowed a lot more smoothly and a lot of the physical aspects have gone away.

Also I may have said it wrong earlier. It's not so much as when it is on me, more like what and/ or who. Once I got back in touch with my basic nature, which for me is very nonchalant, I was able to clearly see the difference between myself and others. It's hard for me to truly explain. Most information and understanding comes to me as a picture or a feeling that I try to put into words. Some things I can, some I can only picture.

It's like as an empath I live simultaneously in this realm and the spiritual realm. In fact I think all people do. The spiritual realm is where we live an eternal existence. The more past lives you have live the more the two realms blend and you can tap into the spiritual. For me seeing life in this way allows me a great deal of control. I am aware of my dual existence and am learning more and more everyday how to walk that line. I wish I could draw, then maybe I could paint a picture that says what words cannot.

If you will think of that guilt you feel when you try to distance yourself from your dad. I would say you should consider the possibility that the guilt you feel is his not your own. As all of the world is one, that dual existence in this case would be you living as him and yourself. I use this example because when he went on his trip and you had actual distance from him, did you notice feeling that guilt, or was it gone? When in solitude how do you feel?

Have you ever considered that the way you feel in solitude is truly you, and everything else is marked with empathy?

There is a Maya Angelo poem that g is a as follows: "Solitude can be a much to be desired condition. Not only is it acceptable to be alone, at times it is positively wished for. In silence we listen to ourselves, And in the quietude we may even hear the voice of God."

We always hear of the sage going off to be away from society in order to complete his training so to speak. I think of it as a way to process and decompress.

I going to stop hear because I'm not sure how to say the rest.

But I will say as for sources, the world is my source. Not being dramatic, by that I mean I view the world as one. Everything is connected and as an empath I am much more aware of that connection. That is the underlying difference between myself and others. They are connected just the same, only less aware. Being that they are connected for me means that everything and everyone and occurrence is a reflection of...let's just keep using the spiritual realm as an example. For example a painting, a story, even words that just unconsciously fly out of someone's mouth can contain that greater truth. Because we all live in that dual existence, it's just a matter of awareness.

Hope that made sense.


updated by @crystalsage: 03/16/18 08:46:41PM
crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
5 months ago
167 posts
@womanwhowalks great advice.

I met an energy worker who told me to do the same thing.

I asked hi. To teach me and he would not. He told me that once I cleared out my energy I wouldn't need to be taught. At first I was irritated with him but I listened anyway.

Turns out he was right.
Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
5 months ago
954 posts

crystalsage "] @womanwhowalks great advice. I met an energy worker who told me to do the same thing. I asked hi. To teach me and he would not. He told me that once I cleared out my energy I wouldn't need to be taught. At first I was irritated with him but I listened anyway. Turns out he was right.

😁he sounds wise...lol


updated by @womanwhowalks: 03/16/18 09:55:30PM
sasha.w
sasha.w
@sasha-supertramp
5 months ago
79 posts

crystalsage "] @womanwhowalks great advice. I met an energy worker who told me to do the same thing. I asked hi. To teach me and he would not. He told me that once I cleared out my energy I wouldn't need to be taught. At first I was irritated with him but I listened anyway. Turns out he was right.
 

by "the same thing" you mean cutting all the energy ties and clearing your own energy?

crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
5 months ago
167 posts
Yes. I am a sponge. I soak up so much energy from another person that at times I even act like them. As soon as I clear all that energy I'm back to myself. Happy. Even when life is difficult, I am happy because it's just life. Life is a game and games are fun but not without their ups and downs.
Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
5 months ago
954 posts

Ya..me too...the trick is knowing who it is...once you do a complete clearing...it's much easier to know who's attatching...I think a lot of depressions and mental illnesses has to do with being overloaded with these cords to many people..and even entities...so clearing it all out and healing your energy is the way to go....in a lot of cases we're trying to heal what we think are our own traumas etc...when in fact they might be someone else's.....so we end up more depressed because we can't heal it ...we can't heal what is not ours...


updated by @womanwhowalks: 03/19/18 03:28:32PM
sasha.w
sasha.w
@sasha-supertramp
5 months ago
79 posts

Thanks a lot. 

@womanwhowalks crazy enough, i knew this but forgot to apply it. 

"in a lot of cases we're trying to heal what we think are our own traumas etc...when in fact they might be someone else's.....so we end up more depressed because we can't heal it ...we can't heal what is not ours..."

i've had a joint pain for a long time now that i wasn't able to get rid of, where usually i can quite easily heal that kind of thing with the type of energy / bodywork that i do. but that one was just resistant and pestering for months. what you wrote reminded me of the fact that it could not be mine (i'm a physical empath so that happens). funny enough telling it to leave my body if it's not mine (scanning for possible people it may be from) actually made it disappear for a day. let's see if it comes back. 

following your advice and doing a major clearing project now that i think i've got a better grip on how energy feels like when it's not mine. being shocked though just by the sheer amount of "foreign" energy my body seems to be holding. 

thinking to keep doing that on a daily basis for quite a while. wondering if you consider yourself cleared completely and how long / what that took?

Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
5 months ago
954 posts
Lol...I came to that same realization about it being an immense job....took quite awhile to whittle away at it...and no I don't consider myself 'completely ' cleaned out...but felt lighter and my energy started to feel better...meaning my aura....I too was completely astonished at what I found attached to me....and even though it's an ongoing thing....I don't feel so overwhelmed and am able to detect when foreign energy suddenly attaches...like today...I've had a tough one....there's someone at work I came in contact with who's energy has a narcissistic feel to it....as I spoke with him over the radio I felt something attatch and the energy was NOT nice at all....and my mood suddenly changed and I felt pain at where the connection was made....and it's taken most of the day to calm down....so now I have to remove it and clean it out....I can't do that until I get home so I've been trying not to snap at people...lol....so no...it never ends...it's the only way I found that will stop the transfer of energy completely....and I know the next time i speak with this person I'll have the same problem....cause it always happens with this guy....and I'll have to clear it again...but now I'm able to detect it and be sure about it since I removed so many cords and roots without too much trouble...lol

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