Grief

So_exausted_from_users
So_exausted_from_users
@so-exausted-from-users
10 months ago
43 posts

How do other empaths deal with grief ? I just lost someone who has only been in my life gor 7 months. We have had an on again off again relationship where each time he has ran away. Just over night disappeared from my life. We also have a spiritual bond that will always be there for every lifetime. Being with him gave me this feeling of total completeness. The love between us is so overwhelming, that is scares us both. I was in a 20 year marriage 3 years before this and that whole time i have never experienced a love like I do with him. I have had a lifetime of emotional hurt however i have always run from the hurt and buried the pain.. Found was to self mediate or cause physical pain until the emotional pain was not around.. even though it has always been a part of me I have ignored the empath side of me. Did even know that i was one until the end of December when after my therapist had give me the book about it but I didn't bother reading it for the past year an a half. He has been showing me the path but wanted me to do the work and knew when i was finally ready i would go through the book or other information. It wasn't until after meeting this guy and losing him the second time that i was ready to look.. Being conected to him allowed my soul to open up ready to listen. it wasn't until the end of feb that my soul was final ready to listen. I found out there are 3 part... my brain getting the information and understanding...my soul understanding.. and my gut instincts where i receive all the empath energy. Now that my soul is finally open I am really grasping all the energy not just negitive energy vibration. But I also know that I will never see this guy again.. The feeling and bond between us is just to much for him and his soul isn't ready to be open to us. Now I grieve, this emotional pain is like nothing I have ever felt. It is actually also a physical pain. my heart feels like it is having a heart attack.  My gut is so upset that i can't hardly put food into it. I have momments where i can hardly breath.. Besides meditation how do others deal with emotional pain this strong? I am looking for positive ways to deal.. I don't want  my old habits which are extreamly self destructive.. I want to accept and process this hurt for the first in my my life.


updated by @so-exausted-from-users: 03/09/18 01:46:05PM
So_exausted_from_users
So_exausted_from_users
@so-exausted-from-users
10 months ago
43 posts
Finally accepting my empath I can tell you that those feelings are 100% real. Sometimes it is a internal fight others are having and not ready to accept the pain they are in. After being bonded to the guy I just had to say goodbye to I understand so much more. Before this I thought empaths were a myth and all mine and others pain i tried to ignore and burry. All that succeeded in doing is making me very sick as my body attacks itself, causing me to almost die - a few times now.
Acceptance is the key but it is extreamly hard and painful. I am still trying to figure out how to ground myself now, wonder what others do. Also wonder how others process the emotional side, now that I am now willing to process mine without my body absorption of the emotional pain and attacking it self.
crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
10 months ago
200 posts
Ok so as far as the grief is concerned i have learned an interesting thing. We have all learned at some point that energy is transferred through the eyes. While that is not the only way energy is transferred it is an important way. Being an empath does not mean that we only receive. It means that we are more aware than most. The fact is that iut happens to everyone whether they are aware or not. In this case ignorance truly becomes bliss. Knowing that energy transfers through the eyes used to make me afraid of eye contact. That was until I realized that it transfers both ways and it is supposed to be transferred. The more energy moves the better off the world is. We live in a world full of opposites. An energy level that may be harmful to you can be just what another needs. Think of the movie anger management if you will. It is about a guy who needed anger management not because he was a loose cannon but because he needed to get in touch with his anger. With that in mind I've learned to constantly make eye contact with people. I give the energy that my body does not want to others, because it may just be what they need. It's been working wondrously.

You have to be careful with bonds. Talking to someone on the phone can bond you to another person which is not always the best. People who attach to you can be like energy vampires. You don't have to stay away but it is important to work on your personal boundaries. The woman who I considered a good friend is an energy vampire and it took me a while to realize it. These people can be volatile. I now limit my contact with her. I try not to talk to her on the phone because I take in lots of negative energy through my ears and she can't wait to give it. Once she has gotten rid of all her negative energy she disappears. Now I take some because she is still a friend but I cut her off midway. I have noticed that this keeps her in touch with her own energy and forces her to deal.
That's the other thing about energy vampires. If you keep letting them dump all their energy on you, they never learn to deal and keep ending up in the same situation. So by always lending yourself to their aid, you are only keeping them stuck. It's not helping. You have to let them fall so that they learn to get back up, and that they can get back up. It's not easy but doable.
crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
10 months ago
200 posts

@pinkrose that can be difficult to deal with because we see the good in people. We also understand that there are circumstances that lead to different personalities. In my experience we deal with these problems by first loving and caring for the self. We must also build trust in ourselves. The best way to do that is by setting boundaries with people. Boundaries teach us what we need to feel good and healthy in any relationship. The hard part comes with establishing a bottom line. The bottom line makes sure we respect our own boundaries. An example conversation of setting these boundaries would be something like this: I feel upset when we talk about ____ and I am not comfortable with that. I need you to respect my opinion when we talk about ___. If there is no change then we cannot talk about ___ anymore. That is just a general example. The important thing is to remember that it does not have to be all or nothing. Obviously there is something good he sees that is why he stays. It's more about being open, and direct about what we need from our relationships. Unfortunately sometimes others are not willing to respect boundaries. At that point we must decide how much we want to deal with the other person. The friend I mentioned earlier is still in my life. However she is not good at hearing or respecting boundaries, mostly because she does not respect her own. So I limit my interactions with her. It is much easier to love my friend now and I am much happier. We cannot make another person live a happy life, we can only control our own happiness It was hard at first to set boundaries for me but now it comes easier. It is how I generate safety throughout my day. And I went from not wanting to be bothered by people to actively engaging with people. I have also gotten better at disengaging from those who drain me. Which has given me more confidence in myself and life. Also remember that people with healthy boundaries do not engage in activities with other just to please the. We engage in activities with others because it is what we want, and we feel respected by those others. I would also suggest googling healthy boundaries and how to set them. Understand that a person who does not respect you is not a reflection on the kind of person you are. Their lack of respect is a reflection of themselves. Hope this was helpful.


updated by @crystalsage: 03/04/18 04:08:56PM
crystalsage
crystalsage
@crystalsage
9 months ago
200 posts
Just read this Article. I think it will be helpful.
https://www.chinesemedicineliving.com/philosophy/the-emotions/grief-the-lungs/
So_exausted_from_users
So_exausted_from_users
@so-exausted-from-users
9 months ago
43 posts
Very interesting

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