Lost again

I dont really know what to say. I'm angry and hurt and confused. I haven't spoken to a friend of mine since Christmas, she is a big part of my stability. It seemed like she was avoiding me and I don't know why, everything was fine the last time we spoke. Yesterday I got a message from her facebook account, it was her on again off again scumbag boyfriend. He cussed me out called me a racial slur that no black person can calmly take from a white person. Today he called me to tell me she's using me like a sugar daddy she doesn't have to put out for. That she doesn't care and never has. And also threatened to come to my house and shoot me and my parents. I'm trying to remain a good person but some of tge most evil thoughts have gone through my mind since that hapoened. Is it weird that throughtout all of this mess I just want to make sure my friend is ok? To find out why she's avoiding me and why she's back with this abusive person? Am I evil for what I want to do to this person?

I understand your situation.  My sister has been in on again off again relationship, and has alienated her family.  Partly because he does the typical abusive SO thing and tries to isolate her from her friends and family, and partly because she has lied so many times, had so many opportunities to get away, and keeps going back by her own choice.

I don't know what to do.  There has been so many times I have wanted to do the big brother thing, but I would end up in jail.  If you feel threatened or harassed, I would suggest turning it over to law enforcement.   You should not have to put up with that as a person, from anybody, for any reason.

You are not evil.  You are letting somebody else's emotions control your actions...something we should be used to.  You are being a friend, a decent human, and a protector for those that you feel can not protect themselves.  Don't feel bad for feeling those things, but be smart about how you let those feelings control your actions.

This isn't the first time I've almost lost this friendship because of him. I don't know what to do, I love my friend, I'd give my life to keep her safe and happy. I don't understand why she goes back to him.

I don't get it either.  My sister knows she deserves better.  I had to step back and let her decide that she is going to want better.  Everything I did, she seemed to just absorb the attention but took no action on her words.  She has had plenty of people willing to assist her out of the situation.

I worry that it is a negative attention is still attention thing.  Sometimes a loving significant other will not give you as much attention as an abusive S.O..  They are constantly in everything....so they must love you right?  They just have this one thing wrong with them, and it is only because.........he's going to get help.

I dunno just a theory.

updated by @krosskelt: 01/29/18 07:04:25PM

Hi....sounds like a narcessist has her in his claws....she goes back because she's compelled to...through the energetic link and roots he has attached to her....it needs to be removed... and probably on a continuing basis till he goes away....that's how narcessist work at the energy level....most of the time it's not enough to stop seeing the narcessist....energy work is then required until the energy of the victim heals from the tainted energy being transferred to the victim by the narcessist....it's not the victim's fault...they can't help it....and that's ALSO why the narcessist keeps coming back....the cords of attatchment and all roots that have NOT been removed compell THEM to keep returning as well....
updated by @womanwhowalks: 01/29/18 09:19:09PM

I haven't been able to see or speak to my friend since Christmas, how do I save her from him?

Well...I'm not really sure...sometimes It's not possible until they ask for help...in the meantime...learn how to clear your own energy...my experience is that when this guy spoke to you he also connected an energy cord to you...so you should find it and remove it completely as well as the roots...he'll be draining you of energy as well....when you learn how to do this for yourself you can then think of a way to help her...you should do this every time he contacts you...every single time...you can do this for her until she gets the strength to leave for good...I personally would do this for a loved one without hesitation if a narcessist was involved as It's VERY difficult to leave one if you don't know about the cords....I can feel the drain from his link to you....not pleasant...
updated by @womanwhowalks: 01/29/18 11:48:45PM

At this point I'd rather drain him of all energy. How can people live like that?

He just is...he knows what he is...but doesn't...I can't stand the feel of a narcessist's energy...but a LOT of people can't recognize it...he's like a black hole...people say that they suck all the good out of a person...but I feel it as drawing all my bad stuff out and it feeds them...they need the bad stuff...has nothing to do with good stuff...I mean I'll be in a good mood...I'll encounter a narcessist and i instantly change....I get mean and crabby and i feel all that in a painfully way physically they make me feel sick...and when they talk to me I feel only bad things surfacing...and being sucked out...it's really weird and i can never understand how other people can't feel this...but I think on some level they do...the only way i have to heal myself is to remove all traces of them in my energy...