Decline Invitation

Tundra2
Tundra2
@tundra2
5 months ago
63 posts

I would appreciate advise about declining an invitation.  On my floor the office secretaries are having a Christmas lunch and I have been invited.  i share and office with one of them so that is why I am invited, I am not in this clique.  Do I just say no thank you? or should I comment about not being apart of this group so that is why I do not want to go.

Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
5 months ago
884 posts
Well....if you don't want to go...then something like....thank you very much for the invitation but I have to decline or say no....i'm just not feeling up to partying....or being around a lot of people....they're being friendly by asking you....it obviously doesn't matter if you're a part of this group or not to them since the did ask you...So why would you point out that your not?...
Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
5 months ago
668 posts

@tundra2:

I work with many women in my office and know how all of that goes. I would suggest one of two things. One is to go to just participate and keep the peace so to speak. Or if this is not something you are interested in then I would plan a lunch with a good friend of yours that day and tell thanks but no thanks since you have another lunch commitment. And that way you are out of the office during that time so it gives you a little cover.

000
@000
5 months ago
74 posts

Hi friend. Quite a fun situation to be in.. especially for us

I know I would personally just say that although you appreciate the invitation, you think you are going to be *insert something else you will be doing here*. OR you could see it as a possible chance to get to know this group of people you don't know and accept it :} You may be pleasantly surprised by what you learn about them, and you may gain some allies in the workplace!

If i'm in a situation where I kind of *have* to go to a social thing, I ground myself by remembering that these are other fellow humans like me, they have feelings, probably want kids, have dreams at night, have good and bad days, probably eat dinner every night, and want the same things in life as I do regardless of their beliefs, behaviors, etc. Maybe that would work for you by keeping that in the back of your mind and pre-thinking that before leaving?

However, if you don't want to go because of a negative thing you suspect from them or see them as being very draining, i'd just say, "I really appreciate you guys inviting me and would love to go, but I think i'm going to sit this one out!" and give like a small laugh or something (make sure it's genuine).  

I think the main thing is if you do happen to reject them, make sure you're being genuine with why, but not too honest because it might hurt their feelings. 

May I ask the reason why you wouldn't want to go?

Tundra2
Tundra2
@tundra2
5 months ago
63 posts

Thanks hop-daddy,  I do like, I have lunch plans with someone.  Leaving the building would be good too.  They would like answer soon, need to know if I am bringing covered dish.  I went to the ice cream social, in the summer, to be "social" and no one would talk to me.  I tried to start some conversations and I got yes or no and that was it.  So nice to be invited and then ignored.

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