My energy has been wiped dry once again and I can't even remember what that holiday cake is called. I'm tired and burnt out. For a while it was held good by my boundaries and my boundaries once again got knocked down. As if a narc blind sided me a slap shot. How is it possible to be around so many negative people in my life and be so sneaky? If I don't help I hear that voice in my head saying "you should have"
If our gift is to help others, why don't they listen? I must generate a lot of "feel good" that it is all they need. Boundaries are violated all the time. I don't like how I feel right now.
I can relate to this so much, I also had to go through this phase from time to time.
Just recently, that "bomb" really hit me hard. You're suddenly slapped awake by the realization that, all along, all these people are hopeless, always fighting and bickering over useless stuff, full of nothing but negative thoughts. It suddenly becomes so obvious that everyone is hiding under their masks, even people that are close to us. At that point you start asking yourself, "Why even bother with them?" "Won't they change?" "What's the point in helping them?"
It's like a revelation that your life has been a lie, literally. Like all your efforts are a joke to them. The feeling of emptiness is so overwhelming that at one point I had a thought like "What will happen if I jump from this window?", a shocking thought which my normal self won't ever entertain.
I had to drag myself out of the house and force myself to put on a happy face to interact with others. I would be tempted to delete of all my SNS accounts and not answer any emails or calls.
Up to now I still do not have any idea what triggers this phase, but focusing on the bright side of every person really helps for me. Distract yourself with happy thoughts and take this time to appreciate the little things that still makes life worth living.
Surround yourself with things you love - for me it's cats, binge watching, and arts. Alone time could also work. Though it's such a pain, we really need to generate good vibes to counter all the negativity around us. What's funny though is that right after this phase, it feels like you are even more bubbly and playful, without a care in the world.
It's time to recharge, let yourself heal.
I got carried away with my reply, but all I want to say is: Stay strong, this too will pass.
updated by @womanwhowalks: 11/29/17 02:10:42AM
Its important we empath find our individuality, the physical and espiritual boundaries to no be intrusive or be invaded without wanting...even though most of the time is happens very naturally, but we got to be conscious with our empathy, and may take a while.
Meditation has made my life much better and singing mantras and visualization of energy to clean my body and house...or noticing some bad thought other people direct to me...i ll let it slide..
Some people will attack us only by their very instict that we are defenseless, we will not do anuthing back to them, this is a very basic malice instict of the human being learn, they will attack only to feel superior or whatever...clean your self and use your empathy to empower your self..being aware and using your energy inteliggently when necessary...observe!!
The dark road, I have been down too many times. I have wanted to give up many times, especially after day when my energy is completely drained. The giving of my compassion is thanked with the feelings of negativity, of being worthless and used. I recently decided it was time to stop going down this road. My crime is caring, yes, guilty. The punishment will be, none. I will not accept all the negative feelings directed at me. I will clear myself of the negative energy and I am done with that person. No more second, third, 100th opportunity for them to dump on me.
My dog pays no bills, does not cleanup around the house, or make me dinner. She wags her tail and I know she appreciates me. And that is enough. I am not asking for anything from a person but a little appreciation. If I can not feel that, I have to stay away from them.
I go through some really bad times like what you are experiencing about 3 times a year. And it always sucks. And I always wonder how I let it get that bad. And usually a lot of it is out of my control due to a flood of people who wear me out. I'm usually pretty good at creating boundaries and grounding as needed. But there are times when I am running through life too fast and too much is thrown at me energy-wise and I get overwhelmed and start to implode. And that is also when all my psychic stuff goes haywire in a bad way. And I stop sleeping and it goes from bad to worse. It feels like total burnout.
I believe that you are experiencing some spiritual burnout as a result of overwhelming outside energy that you are picking up. My advice may be redundant for what you are already doing. But in the hopes that it will help you and others, here is how I handle the tough times. First off, getting good nightly sleep is paramount. Your physical and spiritual body is all out of whack due to lack of sleep. I think you likely have adrenal fatigue which is a common side effect of stress and lack of sleep. Try taking some over the counter sleep aids for a few nights to see if you can improve your sleep. Make sure your room is dark, quiet, and slightly cold to help.
Getting back to regular nightly amounts of sleep may be a little tricky at first since I suspect your adrenal fatigue has your cortisol levels spiking. Cortisol is supposed to sink toward the end of the day making you tired and then rise just enough at early morning so that your body wakes up. But stress causes it to spike erratically during the day and night. And that causes a racing mind, panic, and waking up at 3AM without the ability to fall back to sleep. The lack of sleep also means that your normal force field is down and you are more apt to not be able to handle being around people. I highly recommend getting on the below natural adaptogen supplement to help your adrenals to recover:
And if at first you can't sleep through the night then try to fit in an hour nap later in the day whenever you can. Think of it like banking your sleep and just try to make sure you get more hours of sleep each day until you are back at normal levels.
I also recommend salt baths with a cup or two of rock salt. Put on some soft music, candles, and relax and meditate if you can for 20-30 minutes. Even if you can't relax, the salt water by itself will help remove some of the negative that you are carrying. And lastly, try to fit in daily meditation to set your mind right. A lot of people like meditating before starting their day. But I actually like doing it before I go to bed so that I can relax my mind and get good rest.
You can't always control your environment or the people who cross your path and impact you. But you can only control yourself and how you react and cope with your environment. Good luck. We are all here for you.
updated by @womanwhowalks: 12/06/17 09:26:59PM
I feel like I'm loosing it.
updated by @womanwhowalks: 12/06/17 10:28:39PM
I've heard this called "the Dark Night of the Soul". It happens to me regularly as well. So when I get overwhelmed and go into seclusion, I take it as motivation to change something in my life. I see a purpose to it. When I make that change I'm much more content with my place in the world.
updated by @eri-ameonna: 12/11/17 08:44:23AM
Just a reminder to everyone that the holiday season is a time of anxiety and depression for a lot of people. Anxiety for all the rushing around to parties and buying gifts. And depression for those who are lonely during a time when everyone else seems to be having fun. This adds an extra layer of stuff for all us to deal with. So keep that in mind when you all of a sudden feel exhausted or especially down. Keep it in perspective and try to ground and cheer up.
Just remember during this very busy month to take time to smell the roses. When you start having that numb or "don't care" feeling in life as an empath, it's a good signal to slow things down. And try to fit in enjoyable things that you love to do that make you happy. And most importantly during tough days or weeks, practice grounding to relieve the stress and weight of the world that you take on. And I'm a big proponent of taking salt baths whenever you feel down. Put out the candles, and put on some nice relaxing music that you love. Throw in a couple cups of rock salt (and add in epsom salts if you like that muscle relaxing feeling). I personally also enjoy a glass of wine as well. Jump in and just enjoy yourself. Relax! The salts are like magic. Even if you struggle with grounding meditations, the salt baths should really make a difference with relaxing your mind, body, and soul.
When you start having that numb or "don't care" feeling in life as an empath, it's a good signal to slow things down. And try to fit in enjoyable things that you love to do that make you happy ... Relax! The salts are like magic ...
Overwhelmed it's not a good place for me. I literally want to run away from myself or step out of my body just so I don't feel anymore. I have actually begun open-ended roadtrips to combat this. Nothing much helps when I'm like that. Except for crying. That seems to unburden my soul. After that I'm almost like a blank slate, energy neutral.
Then I can begin again. I know now when I'm about to become overwhelmed. I feel like striking out at the one person who loves me best. When I get to that spot and feel that temptation I turn myself off and let the feelings wash over me. I cannot battle them back. It just makes things worse. And then I cry for as long as it takes me to purge myself.
Crying is healing for me. It rids me of the vestiges of sadness/hopelessness/anger etc taken on by me from others, that I didn't successfully rid myself of when I received that.
updated by @anna-strobl: 12/20/17 06:09:23PM