Judgmental Person?

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eri_ameonna
@eri-ameonna
one month ago
32 posts

There is always that one person you meet who make you stutter, say foolish things or act silly and awkward with. You know you're not acting like yourself, but somehow when you're around them, you become another person.

I read in another thread here about this situation with "judgmental people," who expect, or somehow persuade, others to act according to their judgment. But then you snap out of the spell as you see through their real intentions.

One such person has been bothering me though, an old professor in our university. I still can't figure him out, he is such a puzzle to me. His eyes, sometimes light up with amusement, but most of the time they are fixed on judging or seeing through each person in the class. He is not like the other "judgmental people" I've met. He has such a gentle and kind aura, that I often feel calm or let my guard down during his class. He does not feel intimidating like the others.

But when I get called to recite, like most of my classmates, I would speak gibberish, like I twisted my tongue and forgot how to construct sentences. I know I'm better than that, if I really wanted to I can talk my way out. Maybe he thinks I'm so bad in class that I couldn't look him in the eye, but it would be a huge trigger for me if I were to make direct eye contact. When he's not looking my way, I see the mix of emotions in his eyes.

It's just that I always forget to keep my guard up because of the "calm" I feel, then it's like I'm trapped at his own pace. What's worse is that I feel giddy with my silly answers while I'm in class. But then I'd snap out of the haze later, and regret not doing a lot better.

I don't know how to deal with this. It's taking too long for me this time to overcome this obstacle.

A little help? Thanks


updated by @eri-ameonna: 10/16/17 08:23:34PM
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
one month ago
787 posts
Does this teacher verbally assault you?....is he mean?...does he say things to put you down?....are you failing his class?....
eri_ameonna
@eri-ameonna
one month ago
32 posts
@womanwhowalks :
No, he does not verbally assault me. He's not mean either. It's just his tone of speaking and his eyes, that somehow freeze me up.

I would like to think that I am not failing his class. I still have a shot at this, I just have to stop being so helpless around him.
updated by @eri-ameonna: 10/16/17 05:46:33PM
water_lily
@water-lily
one month ago
90 posts

Hi eri-ameonna, I don't want to assume anything (like your age or exactly how you are experiencing this), but the way you are describing this reminds me of when I have had a particular kind of crush on someone that I think I shouldn't like. By "shouldn't" in this case, I mean age or something like that rather than personality, and it has happened with people that I do not feel physically attracted to; just kind souls that I want to connect to more. In contrast, when I interact with manipulative people, they don't generally feel kind and caring; rather, I get sucked in more by them feeling intriguing, or there is some part of me that can sense something negative under the caring.

If this is the case (and I am not saying it is), I want to say that the only thing that has helped me keep my head in those situations is focusing on what I am doing rather than the person telling me to do it, but, in my experience, it doesn't go away completely with anything but time.

Good luck with whatever it is you are dealing with.

eri_ameonna
@eri-ameonna
one month ago
32 posts

Just for a little background, this is my second degree, and all the students in the class are adult professionals.

I'm getting more and more annoyed with him these days. It's like he's expecting everyone to give wrong answers by giving unfair questions that are impossible for our level to answer.

It's nothing like your situation @water-lily, but focusing on what I am doing is a good idea. I wonder why I didn't think of that before, I've always been using that approach. I'll give that a try, thanks again @water-lily

Also, I know for a fact that he is a kind soul. Maybe he just wants to play with our heads, perhaps he gets off on that. And hopefully, like you said, time will resolve all this.

 

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
one month ago
787 posts
Your sensing a lie...a big one...his energy is telling you something completely different to what he's showing to you...his true intent is not nice...and it WILL drive you nuts while in his presence....might I suggest after you get home you remove ALL his cords of attatchment and psychic links....and take yours off him as well....i think he's a hidden narcissist....and your picking up on that...
eri_ameonna
@eri-ameonna
one month ago
32 posts

It would make sense that he is a hidden narcissist, that explains why I freeze up when he directs a question at me.
For now I will focus on what I am doing and block out whatever energy this is, to stay sane. I will also remove cords of attachments and links, thank you for the reminder @womanwhowalks, I always forget to do that.

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
one month ago
787 posts
Just try and keep up on removing his energy cords from you....that in itself should help you....he will attatch again when you go to class...theres no getting around that...just remove all his energy on a regular basis...and take out the roots too....you gotta put up with it while in class but you definitely don't need to take his energy home with you...lol...
eri_ameonna
@eri-ameonna
one month ago
32 posts

I don't know if I'm doing this right, but to cut off energy links, I imagine invisible chain links to other people and break them apart mentally whenever I sense unwanted attachments.

But I don't know what you mean by taking out the roots. How do you take out the roots @womanwhowalks? I haven't made my research on that yet, you see, and I really appreciate all the help you guys have been giving me.


updated by @eri-ameonna: 10/16/17 11:03:21PM
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
one month ago
787 posts
I'm almost dun work....i'll get back to u....
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
one month ago
787 posts
It's the same concept as cutting cords....but instead of cutting you grab at the base like you would a weed and pull...those cords are somehow anchored to our energy...and thats by a root...there are ones that fall away...and ones that need to be removed manually....a narcissist cord needs to be pulled out...by the roots since they do tend to grow back...for myself cutting the cords isn't good enough....i gotta pull out the entire thing...
eri_ameonna
@eri-ameonna
one month ago
32 posts

Awww thank you so much for taking the time to tell me all this, you could have replied during your free time and not during work though, I hope I didn't bother you so much.

I will definitely practice taking out roots, thanks once again @womanwhowalks :)

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
one month ago
787 posts
Naw...i drive a bus and have some layover time at each end...lol...so this gave me something to think about while driving...😴😁
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
one month ago
509 posts

@eri-ameonna:

This sounds like what many people go through when they meet a celebrity in person. There is so much expectational energy that you freeze and stutter. You said he appears kind so I am guessing he is not a narc. He may just have a powerful personality and presence. 

But I did want to mention that it is possible that it is the energy in the class that is contributing to how you are feeling before, during, and after class. It may be all of them reacting to the class or him. Adult students are very different compared to college age students. Many of them work, have families and all the pressures of an adult life. Most of them want to do real well in his class and hopefully graduate and obtain a better job. That will create a lot of emotional energy in there. And that can be tough on you.

In addition to the other advice you were given, I would suggest working on protecting yourself in the class. Protection stones can be really helpful. And some people are able to access white light and create a protective bubble around them. I am not very good at the later so I use protection stones like black tourmaline and black onyx to help mute how much energy I pick up in a group situation. I keep them in a pouch in my pocket and am able to function so much better in a group setting.

hana
@hana
one month ago
49 posts

I used to go through the same thing with the same two people at work!

What I usually did (and still do) that helps me is to: be sure of who I am as a person, and be more than okay with it. Start thinking of the qualities that you love about yourself and all of the good things. Then start thinking that there is no reason to feel you are inferior to anyone because everyone's human. NO DOUBTS or it won't work as effectively. :)

Once you develop a kind of ball around you where you are engulfed in just that and it circles you, then you can kind of deflect their judgements, and realize it may just be their own insecurities and it's their way of deflecting that onto you. In the end, it has nothing to do with you! :D Then, you might feel bad for them which helps you feel less on the spot.

I hope that helps and it makes sense

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