I haven't been on here for a while. I get so caught up in everyday life that I forget about this little place. It's almost like home reading things that people post. I can relate so much. I love how 'feeling' is involved in almost everything. I used to despise being a 'feeler'. I felt weird and different. I felt that I could see so much selfishness in others and it caused me pain. I didn't know how to turn it off. I started to get on somewhat of a high horse, priding myself for not being as selfish as other people. Learning how not to be through others is a gift, but it's certainly not something that should inflate my ego in a way that harms myself. For as long as I can remember, I've self-destructed with this type of behavior. Once I got into sobriety the behavior subsided a lot because I was no longer using an external force (alcohol) to cut of my connection with self. I blocked my empathic abilities for a good 6 years because of pain & selfishness. I'm connected to self again & most importantly something bigger than myself (God, Power of the Universe, Mother Nature, etc.) I've been sober 6 years this month. I'm almost out of the woods. I can feel others in ways that are joyful, exhausting, painful, loving -- it's hard sometimes. I start to isolate from groups of people because the exclusivity is EXHAUSTING to me. This is specifically towards a group of people I was very much apart of, but now feel myself pulling away. My question is, is this normal for an empath? I know we cannot all be stereotyped under an umbrella per-say. Just because I need X amount of decompression time doesn't mean the next empath will need that same amount of timel. But I'm wondering why the exclusivity of a group bothers me so much? Does anybody else feel this way? Maybe there's something I'm missing.
GROWING is hard at times. Standing alone is how I grow. I cannot follow a crowd to grow, so therein lies change. Which is typically a difficult thing for humans in general.