Agh.. this will be a little crazy about my life right now...

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LoconnorO
@loconnoro
6 months ago
151 posts

Alright, so, I'm going to explain everything that's going on for context about this question and then get to my question...

So I'm a College student, I live at home, I have a job as a pool manager. My home environment has never been a good one, my parents don't get along, everyone is always yelling (brothers and parents), and anytime I make an appearance everything sorta shifts to me, first to "fix" whats going on, and when I don't, to yell at me instead... I don't think My family realizes they do this, but anytime I come around in the wrong moment everyone turns to me and I just end up getting yelled at and harsh words are thrown. Its beyond exhausting. This happened especially harshly this morning.

Then I got to work and I was already off my game from dealing with my family this morning. It turned out alright throughout the day but after I left a ton of problems happened with the next guard. The HOA of this pool didn't properly notify everyone in the neighborhood that they switched security systems so everyone would need new key-bobs, so now around half the residents don't have working key-bobs to access the pool they pay a lot of money to use. The guards and I have been consistently yelled at on a regular basis about this. Tonight someone jumped the fence when a different guard was working, and she called me hysterical about the whole issue and another thing that happened that night. Then, I, as the pool manager, got yelled at about since the guard didn't call 911 and I didn't have someone else working (I had everything they asked for, they're just playing the blame game at this point). I got a very angry phone call from an HOA member, who was yelling at me about everything, on top of being back home in this toxic environment. 

Now to the question... I've experienced an overload of emotions from other people, but I was always in an okay spot underneath it all... Now I'm a complete mess with emotions of anger and frustration, I'm ready to go off on this HOA which is not like me, I don't go off on people, and I'm so overloaded with emotion I don't know what to do. I'm exhausted both physically from working for this pool for at least 7 hours a day, my school has me drained mentally from a speech and massive midterm I'm trying to understand (I'm teaching myself currently, college professors... smh) and now I am completely out of control of all my emotions. I can usually keep myself from showing emotions, but as this guard was telling me everything going on I could pick up on her panicking and anxiety and she was ready to cry, and I literally had tears coming out of my eyes while I was trying to calm her down and help her out over the phone... and even now I'm bringing back these emotions that aren't mine and usually I can let go of, but now I genuinely feel bipolar. I'm angry and extremely frustrated and anxious.... but I'm experiencing a ton of other emotions from my family, the guard, the HOA member, A LOT of people. I can't release it like I usually do. I'm not a quitter but I'm about to quit my job and hopefully get a better paying job and try to move out. I need a therapist...

Anyways, any advice on relaxing in hectic situations, similar stories, thoughts... anything??? 


updated by @loconnoro: 10/18/17 03:25:17PM
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
6 months ago
803 posts
Hi...yup...overload of family and work is part of being an adult...lol...no one is entirely immune to the hectic life of today...and bad management decisions at work make up a lot of that stress....your attached to too many people....have you taken time to cut cords of attatchment?...you can cut all cords to each of your family and all your coworkers so things aren't so loud and overwhelming....and it also sounds like you need alone time in a big way...take sick time or stress leave...gotta go to see a Dr and tell him your so stressed from dealing with work and you need some time off...find out what you need to do to set that up....
JoniG
@jonig
6 months ago
34 posts
Can you stay at your college, or get a place to live with student loans? Then you've cut a major drain. Your job...if you quit right now, would the stress be more from lack of money? The key-fob issue sounds annoying but, will end right? Sometimes, just allowing your mind to figure out what you need & possible ways to get those things will alleviate a lot of stress. I'm sorry everything is hitting at once, that is overwhelming for anyone but, especially us empaths. I'm rooting for you to find your balance agai. & happily move forward!
LoconnorO
@loconnoro
6 months ago
151 posts

Thank you @womanwhowalks and @jonig both for your responses, I appreciate them

Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
6 months ago
535 posts

@loconnoro:

A therapist is a decent idea. In fact, that is a form of grounding. If you are the type of person who feels better after sharing something painful, then I would say you will benefit from a therapist. 

It sounds like you have two hectic phases doing the most damage in your life right now. I’ll ignore school as it is what it is. And I’m sure you know that after you tough that out you will be able to get a better job and move out of your parent’s home (curing those two situations). But in the meantime, your home life is negative and stressful. As a college student you probably don't have a choice financially right now so you'll have to stay there until you make enough money to leave. But you can survive by being busy and staying away from your home as much as possible (thereby limiting your exposure to that negative). 

As for your job, sometimes the crap hits the fan. The stars align, the perfect storm hits, and you are dealing with multiple problems at the same time. You could change jobs and do something easier and quieter (like work in a library or book store). But consider this, we all are given challenges to overcome in our life paths. Some people run away from every sign of trouble and never learn how to work through challenge and conflict. By working through these work problems one at a time, you are returning everything to normal. You are an agent of change and are working through the challenge and gaining momentum on your life path. You may just learn a valuable lesson or two there that will level you up so to speak so that you can rise to a more important challenge or job down the road. And it is no coincidence that you as an empath are thrown into a situation where multiple people are upset. Your gift is to change that energy, calm everyone down, and return the workplace to peace. 

Now, it is definitely hard being an empath. You absorbed all the crap from your family that morning and then got hit with all sorts of negative at work. And the more you take in the more anxiety you get hit with. And that was all on top of the anxiety you carry from being a busy student trying to do well in school. My advice, make sure you fit in grounding meditation and physical exercise each day. You have to get rid of that negative that you take in so that you don't get overloaded. And as for your family, try your best to limit time with them since they are so toxic. Try to have dinner out with friends instead of with them once in a while and study in a library instead of at your home. You will notice a big difference limiting your time in that pressure cooker. And then one day you will be able to move out and remove yourself from that environment.

LoconnorO
@loconnoro
6 months ago
151 posts

Thank you @hop-daddy , I did decide to stay at everything and it is all working out better now. I look forward to the day I can move out though, my family is horribly disorganized and I'm the one who cooks, cleans, everything. It's alright though, I do feel like I'm developing myself more so I'll push on until I feel led to take a different path. Thanks again everyone for the comments.

Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
6 months ago
535 posts

Hang in there. It sounds like you are already doing better working through things. There is truth in the saying "that which does not kill us makes us stronger".

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