Breaking up with someone

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Stills
@stills
7 months ago
13 posts

Hi, I realised a few years back that I easily absorb the feelings of others and even more so when I make a connection with them over time. Well in the last six months I made a connection with a girl. We spoke alot on messenger and met up a few times but it was a more emotional connect. Being an empath I learned to shield from damaged people but for some reason I let my guard down, choosing to trust her but in the end she had some issues (ex boyfriend that she was getting back with as well) and I had to cut off.

It's been a week and I'm still feeling her inside me, I know some hurt is mine but I can feel her pain and essense if that makes sense and it's causing me a great deal of pain. She was very clingly emotionally and I allowed her to attach to me, I suppose I was lonely myself or something but I dropped my guard. I think she is a love addict and I was feeling her euphoria and I mistook it for love. I know that sounds calculated but I've loved a girl before and it was more dear than this. This girl isn't someone I really match well with, we have not much in common but that we communicate on this emotional level. I'm more star struck by her, but not sure if it's love. Perhaps crazy love but real love I'm not sure. I feel like I because more addicted to her than loved her if that makes sense.

Now I feel like I'm trying to break free from drug abuse, going cold turkey, but there's a gut wrenching feeling most nights that prevents me from sleeping and even has me throwing up (nothing). I'm trying to detach but it won't stop, it's like someone has a grip on my insides and it's ripping me apart. Sorry to get so heavy but I was wondering if anyone has experienced this before. I know for most, breakups are painful but I think for empaths it's extra acute because we're so sensitive.

I've tried visualizing sheilding, pulling away etc but it seems to come back even stronger, as if punishing me for trying to break away from the pain. It's like I have no choice but to wait it out but for how long?


updated by @stills: 08/05/17 08:34:16AM
Janett Niemi
@janett-niemi
7 months ago
86 posts
Sounds like you need to cut the cord between the two of you. When we meet people and have a connection with them, an invisible cord is drawn. It's an invisible energy cord. It will remain until you cut the cord.

Ask archangel Michael to help you cut the cord between you and this person. Visualize Michael drawing up his huge sword and severing the connection.

Good luck. Breaking up is difficult. Sending you love...
JoniG
@jonig
7 months ago
33 posts
Boy, do I ever understand this! I know exactly what you're describing...it's very painful & does feel like a tearing away, a physical withdrawl. My explanation as I see it? Even if I've cut ethereal cords etc., it's like they are still a part of my heart. In my life, if I have ever loved you, I will always love you. It won't look the same or feel the same but, it's always there. I feel it's because we love at a soul level. There are many earthly reasons why we must release lovers to stay healthy but, when you love a person's soul...it doesn't get purer than that. To me, that's how I love. I love the soul primarily, the person just comes along with it! So, how can you remove one soul light from another? And, why would you? I can distance myself ect. but, your light has become a part of me forever. Anyway, that's basically how I see it. Hope it makes sense to you & answers your question...you are not alone in this!
Stills
@stills
7 months ago
13 posts

I think to be honest I'm starting to realise that she was a narcissist and I fell for the games. I don't think she was fully blown narc but I think she had strong narc traits with a tiny bit of light inside that I tried to reach. But I cannot heal such damage, I have to accept that. Thankfully I'm seeing the light and hope in myself and I'm starting to heal. Still a few sleepless nights but the trauma in my body isn't so acute. Hopefully I learn from this and learn to love someone who deserves my care and attention.


updated by @stills: 04/05/17 02:53:24AM
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
7 months ago
476 posts

@stills

I think you said it all when you said:  "I think she is a love addict and I was feeling her euphoria and I mistook it for love...This girl isn't someone I really match well with, we have not much in common but that we communicate on this emotional level. I'm more star struck by her, but not sure if it's love. Perhaps crazy love but real love I'm not sure."

You knew she was not a good match for you and yet you were addicted to being with her. It sounds very much as if she got her hooks in to you as a narc. They are good at getting empaths to lower our guards and then they razzle dazzle you on an emotional level. Every story between an empath and narc is almost identical:

The relationship is intense and it's the most deeply you've fallen for someone. And then after a while the use and abuse starts. And after the narc has sucked the life out of you and left you for dead they move on and you are in pieces. Lucky for you you saw the signs and got out when you did. It would have been a mess for you had you stayed (the ex boyfriend etc...).

As for how to move on you do have to cut your cord with her. As an empath you feel so deeply that it will just take some time. I would delete her number from your phone, get rid of pictures and things to keep her out of your mind. Just move on and focus on doing things that make you happy. It sounds like you are pretty aware and smart about who you date. Keep your shield up on future narcs and you'll find the right girl for you. 

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