Warden
Warden
@warden
last year
35 posts
I feel like this often. I find it strange too. I have all these people who tell me they want me around or how awesome I am but I never believe it. I see that they often forget to include me in things or do it on purpose with excuses like I thought you were busy or I didn't think you'd be interested. Even my family has done this to me.it hurts and is a hard feeling to get rid of. I have resentment towards a few people because of this and I'm having trouble letting it go. So I do the think you're alone in this.
Warden
Warden
@warden
last year
35 posts
I'm also the oldest and odd one out! As I believe in things and am more free spirit and also the only girl. I have 4 brothers. Always nice to hear I'm not the only one that feels like this.
Lotusfly
Lotusfly
@lotusfly
last year
410 posts

I think it's a combination of factors. It's possible your insecurities pushed people away so that someone didn't sit next to you. It's also possible it's just a coincidence that no one took that seat. Or they could be doing it to spite you for whatever reason. The thing is to not worry about it or let it bother you because that only creates more separation between you and others. People pick up on insecurity like they pick up on fear, empath or not. It's a rudimentary feeling that is related to survival, so many people can sense it.

I suggest working on self-acceptance and authenticity. That way, you'll be fully you and will attract those to your life who treasure and respect the real you. No sense in trying to keep around those who are not in the same vibration as the true you :)

As a side note, I am the black sheep in my family and have worked hard at accepting myself despite what others think and say and do. Being genuine and happy with yourself is the reward and most important to a happy life. It is well worth it. Don't worry about rubbing others the wrong way or being too much or different from others. Eventually your life will mirror you and you will be surrounded by the things and people that are best for you!

Mythical Spark
Mythical Spark
@mythical-spark
last year
8 posts

I've pretty much always felt this way myself all my life, like I'm an outsider or that I'm just a peripheral part of any group that I may have been in, even with those who most would call 'close' to me, as in family or friends, and it's often cited as a common trait by empaths.

It's something that I share with my mother and she's said that she's felt the same way during her lifetime as well.  I'm unsure that she's an empath herself but I'm told that empaths usually run in families.

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
last year
933 posts

@calmidwester:

I honestly don't know an empath who hasn't felt like you did. Not to worry. You are toatlly normal and are one of us. First and foremost, it is hard to be out in public as an empath. You could be picking up vibes from the collective in that whole restaurant or area. And then at your table alone with jealous competitive women, that's your worst case scenario for an empath. Well, maybe there are things worse than that (like funerals, or a cancer ward). But as an empath you are likely strongly opposed to the fake and negative personalities that were at that table. That's very hard to sit through and to me would feel like a grave injustice watching those women at work jockeying for position. Between that and all the negative that they must have put out, my hat is off to you for being able to make it through the whole meal without having a panic attack. 

Remember, we are sponges. And you absorbed a lot of bad stuff at that table. By singing and enjoying nature afterwards I think that was a decent step to get some of that out of your body. But as you eluded to, you didn't get it all out and didn't feel much better. That's where some of the grounding ideas that I sent you in another post come in to help you clean up after an event like that. If you don't ground yourself after a situation like that it could take days of anxiety and depression to get that out of your body on its own. But you can speed it up considerably if you do some grounding techniques. Just remember, in time you will get a better handle on this and will be stronger and better prepared to handle a luncheon like that.

Quick question. Did you have any protection stones on your body or in your purse during the luncheon?

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
last year
933 posts

@calmidwester:

One more related comment that I wanted to mention. I know right now you are feeling weak and not in very good control of your life due to your recently discovered empathy. You are not alone. We all have been there. But you found the right place to come to ask questions and learn how to master things. And at some point soon you will gain control and come out strong and in better control as you flip your energy. You do this by limiting the negative you take in, grounding it away, and living your life in better happiness and love.

So side-note to what you are going through and perhaps something for you to look forward to down the road:  As you probably know by now, narcissists have a very interesting attraction to empaths. It also goes both ways for some (although I personally detest narcs). But based on what you described there were probably more than a few narcissist people sitting at that lunch table. Now that I am in a good place and have a better handle on the negative I let in each day, I would have the narcs at the table self-destructing without me barely uttering a word. What usually happens is they get very drawn to me and if there are multiple narcs they will make fools out of themselves trying to compete to impress me. Simply put, I make them very uncomfortable and insecure just by being there. I think it has something to do with our empath high vibrational energy that they find intoxicating. And these are obviously very vain people who normally bow down to no one. And like I said, I normally hardly say a word and the narcs are all eyes on me trying to win me over. My wife who is not an empath says it is the damnedest thing she has ever seen. It happens all the time. It's literally dinner theater. But this only happens if I am in a good happy high energy place. If I am low energy from a tough couple days the narcs would still be uncomfortable around me but would shoot me dirty looks in more of a bullying type of way. So you really have to be choosy with where you go depending on how you feel.

I know it sucks to be out at these things. And despite the little bit of revenge comedy I get as noted above, I would normally rather be anywhere but at a luncheon like you described. But from asking around, what I experience with narcs from a position of my strength is very typical empath-narc behavior. At some point you will have that to look forward to.

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
last year
933 posts

@mythical-spark:

Empaths most definitely run in families. And even if they are not awakened empaths you can spot empaths in your family who exhibit all the traits: Over sensitivity, anxiousness, quiet introverts, hating crowds and going out in public. Struggling with sleep disorders etc...

Cat Whisperer
Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
last year
780 posts
Oh how I can relate to your situation. Same issues but different scenarios. I have gotten to the point in my life that I am choosing not to expose myself to those kind of situations, rather happy being myself and not being around the negativity of some groups of people. If that means saying no to a gathering or two so be it...especially if you know it might put you in a bad funk. Sounds like @hop-daddy, @lotusfly, and @weary-soul have pretty much covered what I would suggest or mention. Sounds like you've got a great arsenal of crystals. I don't leave home without mine. Your not alone
Blessings
updated by @cat-whisperer: 03/05/17 07:12:22PM
Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
last year
933 posts

@calmidwester:

I was curious if you had the protection stones on you during the competition and lunch to see if you noticed a difference. They should make a difference once you find the right protection stone combo for you. Everyone is different but I notice about a 70% reduction in anxiety when I keep them near. They have really changed my life.

As for salt, a lot of web sites out there recommend Himalayan or sea salt for empaths to bath in. But that gets really pricey. Rock salt works just fine and is what I use. You can pick that up at your grocery store in the baking aisle. Most stores carry Morton's rock salt (Wal-Mart usually carries them as well). The only salt they say doesn't work is table salt since it is too processed.

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
last year
933 posts

@calmidwester:

Remember, there are no coincidences. You may have sensed that I was messaging you. Wink

I'm glad the stones worked for you. After dealing with so much anxiety, it's great to feel better, right? And it is no coincidence that you slept better. The stones are helping you relax and draw the negative out and away from you. Salt is also excellent for that. And your time with nature definitely played in to your ability to feel better.

If you are interested in finding out what others have mentioned as their favorite crystals and stones take a look at this post:

http://empathcommunity.eliselebeau.com/community/forum/new_posts/27513/what-are-your-favorite-crystals

And as for you feeling your daughter's pain, it is very common for you to have all sorts of connections to those in your family. I personally don't normally have the physical empath skill. But I do with my wife and kids when they are hurt or don't feel well. 

Cat Whisperer
Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
last year
780 posts
@calmidwester
Yes I do believe that the connection with blood family is much stronger that those not blood related. Especially in the physical sense. I cannot tell you how many times I have had physical issues just to find that my Dad is sick...and he lives several states away! Also have that connection with my son. With him I have to be very careful, he carries a lot of negative energy that can be felt even though he lives two counties away. His energy makes my stomach do flip flops :/ if he is having a bad day
Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
last year
933 posts

@calmidwester:

How old is your daughter? My empath daughter is 13 and is a Scorpio. And she fits the Scorpio personality description to a tee. And she has since birth had the unique ability to turn the house upside down in a total sh*t storm when she is having a bad day. Since I pick up on energies so easily I can literally feel her change the energy in the house to one of anger and anxiety. Her emotions are very powerful at this age. We have a pretty good relationship but she's a handful at this age. She is very bonded to her mother but absolutely wears her out on some days.

I wonder if you go through the same? I have heard from others that it is challenging to be married to or live with other empaths. I think our high vibration and over sensitivities are too strong when around each other under one roof.

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
last year
933 posts

Good for you. At 25 for you she is probably well on her way to adulthood. For my daughter, we kind of knew we were in for some dicey teenage years. We just take it one day at a time. 

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