OK, wow, so at least I am not alone in this. Your question was very interesting. I am also on the older side, 51. I dated two narcissists before I decided to marry my husband. One is in jail for murdering his wife in the early 2000's. I was briefly engaged to him, but something in me knew he was a liar, which was my main reason for walking away.
Anyway, I made a conscious decision to marry someone that I felt I could trust and that would be kind. Was it the right decision? I still wonder honestly. He is still narcissistic in many ways, just uses passive aggressive behavior instead of having the temper and being outwardly cruel. For example, I finally showed him the Empath info and he had almost no reaction, just, yeah, that's always been you. But then later, in front of people that would never understand, he brought it up. I was not happy and honestly I know he did it to make me feel uncomfortable, although he would deny it to his grave.
What you said, about feeling trapped and bored, yes, that is how I feel a lot, and then I feel guilty because we have a good life and great kids. I have exactly said that I feel trapped and have been working on not repeating those words over and over because it causes me so much anxiety. We have weathered some storms and have done a good job raising our kids and working together towards other things, like our financial goals, etc. But, I still do not feel the passion that draws me to those other types. I have already shared that I unfortunately have directed that all towards my current counselor - who is either unaware or too kind to confront me about it. I know it's sort of pathetic, but he's the only one who is interested in this spiritual journey - until I met you all - and I love talking about it all with him. I've known him for well over ten years now and we were raised the same way and have both developed in interest in less traditional spirituality and alternative medicine like energy medicine. Anyway, I am now hijacking your thread, but I guess I want to share with you that your concerns are not silly at all. It is a hard decision and neither path is easy. Maybe that is the only thing I've learned. Would it have been better to marry someone that I felt intensely passionate for? I really don't know if the downsides would've ruined that in the end.
Good luck and hang in there. As you can see, most of us are just trying to figure it all out still, even as we get older and older!