Hello, New Empath Here!

To post a reply, login or signup

11 months ago
19 posts

After years and years of thinking something is wrong with me, I finally learned that I am (or could be) an empath.

I've always been a highly sensitive person, even as a child. When I was very young, I used to cry every time I heard "Endless Love" by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross. I had no idea what an endless love was, but the outro always made me very emotional.

Fast forward many years later (as an adult), I recall a time when I my mother, brother and I were chatting. My brother has never been one to express his thoughts or feelings openly, but I could tell something was bothering him that day. I felt really sad for him and didn't understand why. He was sitting there having a normal conversation. Later that day, my mother told me that my brother informed her that his ex-wife might be moving across the country with their daughter, whom he absolutely adores. That explained everything.

Since my adulthood, I started really noticing how I seemed to attract emotionally- and mentally-unstable people. Most were strangers or people in passing, some were co-workers or even family members. Others were old boyfriends, who appeared to "have it all together" in the beginning of the relationship, only for them to reveal their true selves months later. My most recent relationship ended a year and a half ago, after almost 6 years together. We connected deeply in an instant; therefore, the relationship advanced quickly. Weeks later, reality set in and he revealed that he was bipolar. We spent almost every day together, so I absorbed every emotion he was feeling. His manic moods were very intense and he became emotionally and verbally abusive. (I'll spare the details of what I've endured. Some of you probably already have an idea.) The night I ended the relationship, he had gotten angry about situation that I thought was really trivial. We discussed the issue and I thought everything had been squashed, but I could tell he was still very agitated. In the past, he hardly ever let trivial matters go and would be upset for days, re-opening arguments that had already been considered "settled" by both of us. This particular night, I'd planned to spend the night at his place. Since I knew that he would be tossing and turning all night from being agitated – another emotion that I would absorb, preventing me from getting any sleep – I decided to just go to my own home for the night so that I wouldn't have to deal with all that and to get good rest. (At that point, we'd already been arguing about it for nearly 3 hours. Actually, HE was the one arguing for all that time.) Anyway, he completely lost his temper to the point where he almost assaulted me. It was then that I decided to end the relationship.

After that, I felt this HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders! I realized that whenever our relationship was happy or in a good place, it was because HE was feeling happy. Times when he was uptight or agitated about something, I tried my best to bring some positivity or happiness into the situation, but his emotions usually overpowered mine. I just didn't understand how or why I seemed to soak up any overwhelming emotion he was feeling. I couldn't make it stop! Is this some sort of condition? What is it called? Is something wrong with me? One day, I googled something like "feeling others emotions" and for the first time, learned about Empaths.

I took a few quizzes which stated that I am a highly sensitive person and an Empath to a degree. I love animals, but I don't feel I have a deep connection with them or nature. However, I've always attracted broken or troubled spirits and had a hunch on how someone was feeling, whether sad or ecstatic. Sorry for the long post, but I'm just excited that I can talk to others like me and can get advice on how to handle being an Empath. Naturally, I do like to help people and have been told I'm a great friend and listener. 

I guess my first question is: How can I protect myself from absorbing other people's emotions, particularly angry, negative or depressing emotions? 

Thanks for reading/listening!

updated by @sensi-sante: 07/30/17 09:36:35AM
11 months ago
169 posts

Hi there and welcome! I am still learning about shielding and I was told earlier this year I was an empathy and a week or so ago I was told again and I thought oh well damn it would have been GREAT to know this years ago...:) nonetheless,  I shield myself every morning before leaving my home.  I imagine a white bright light bubble around myself and pray that only anything of the divine can enter.  This helps me sense energies of others and help if there is anyway I can but I don't absorb it into me.  It has made me a LOT less extreme!  Over the years, I have physically absorbed people and am in the process and trying to physically heal all that....I notice that in a group of people if somehow we are all stressed (like negative announcement to the staff) I get totally bloated and my stomach cramps up.  I then remove myself from the group and breathe it out so to speak.  This is a great community to be a part of!

Hop Daddy
11 months ago
502 posts


Welcome! And I'm glad you have found this community. There are terrific members here to help you with your questions and share ideas.

Based on what you noted you definitely sound like an empath. I personally don't attract mentally unstable people but I can get stalked by strangers for no reason and seem to attract my fair share of narcissists. But you said you attract broken people and we definitely all get that. I would suggest posting various questions on this forum until you have a good understanding on how this works and what makes you tick on a spiritual level. There are many different types of empaths. You may want to google that and do some reading to see where you fit in. And it seems most of us have more than one empath trait.

When I first found this website I was very skeptical and having a tough time accepting my empathy. But I was dealing with constant anxiety every day and all the time. One thing for you to know is that as an empath you are an energy sponge and will pick up negative emotional energy from others around you. That is also why broken people seek you out. Deep down at a soul level they know you can make them feel better by removing their heavy emotional baggage so they seek you out. Most people come to this site thinking they are losing their minds from all the anxiety and emotional overload. So when I came here looking for help, other members suggested that I try some protection stones. And being such a skeptic at that time I chuckled at the idea of carrying rocks around with me. But they really work. They help shield or absorb some of the negative in the world so that it doesn't penetrate you. Since using these I have very little daily anxiety.

It seems that some protection stones work for some empaths but don't work for others. However, I have found that these protection stones seem to consistently help most of us: black tourmaline, black onyx, shungite, and hematite. I keep 2-3 protection stones in my pocket at all times. A lot of women wear protection stone jewelry as a bracelet or necklace. Most of us recommend finding a crystal store near your home to pick some out. But I've had some good luck ordering some online as well. You just have to be careful online that the stones are real and not fake.

Step#2 is that you will want to learn how to ground out the negative from the day through meditation. Since we are sponges you don't want that negative that you pick up sticking with you or you will be a stressed out and exhausted mess. Grounding is how we get rid of it. Have you heard anything about this topic?

11 months ago
57 posts

Hello and welcome!  I am relatively new to this site and have found it wonderful and super helpful.  I think the best thing that has helped me is to see that I am not alone, that others feel things like I do.   Using crystals has  been a big help for me to deal with negative and depressing emotions of people around me.

11 months ago
1,194 posts
Hello Sansi-Sante. Welcome to our little paradise.

Sounds like you have already received some very good advice so I won't get started. Just remember ...don't fear it...embrace it.
11 months ago
36 posts
@sensi-sante Welcome!! I am glad u found this little forum. It has certainly helped me!
Cat Whisperer
11 months ago
726 posts
Welcome to the EC @sensi-sante! You will find a lot of great people here....and a place to explore your empathness 😉
11 months ago
19 posts

Thanks so much for the welcome!! I'm already learning so much. I do meditate, but not often enough. I will definitely look into stones, crystals, etc. for protection.

Share This

From Our Sponsors

  • intuitive reading
  • empath book