So... that guy I was talking about in my last post? Total narcissist. It's really sad because I was falling for him, and I've never almost fallen for anyone in real life; my crushes have been mostly fictional/celebrities . I guess I'm primarily feeling gratitude right now, though, because even though my emotions have been tossed to the ground like trash in an alleyway, the manipulation of the "idealization" phase has become apparent to me sooner rather than later - he accidentally used the wrong mask on me, I think - and he wasn't the type of narcissist to escalate the relationship to the point of convincing me we're soul mates so early on, and to not use "reward/punishment" until later in the game. I'm glad the "reward/punishment" thing (manipulation using 'good times') started early - like the second date - even though the punishment aspect has made me cry way too many tears over this relationship (I didn't know what was going on..)
Regrettably, before, I was one of those empaths who had the "it'll never happen to me" attitude... Well, I was super wrong. Hopefully if other empaths reading this feel that way, this can be a type of warning..
The worst part is I still find him SO attractive! Even knowing he's broken just makes me love him more for some reason. I suppose I can relate to trying to be strong and awesome on the outside while feeling fragile and vulnerable on the inside? A fallen angel thing? It's a little inexplicable... I think he'd be great for me if he didn't have this disorder. And I haven't rejected him yet :/ I'm waiting for him to ask me out again.. I'm in a position where I know the person I'll choose to marry will be a member of the church I'm part of, and so that makes it harder, as he's the most attractive member of the church that I've ever met. My choices are really narrowed by this standard, but I feel impressed to follow it. Still harder: I can't go "no-contact" or "out" him or anything like that because I'll be seeing him around at church activities How can I not stay friends with him like everyone says to do?
I've gotten such great help from my research on this topic (how to get over/break up with a narcissist), but does anyone have any advice on how to reject him/how to deal with this situation?
Advice always helps me so much.. I hesitated to write this post because I didn't want to bring anyone down (sorry if I did); your advice is just so meaningful to me. I really do feel like this is one of the few places I can come for true understanding.....
Oh and do you have any opinions on using manipulation as part of breaking up with a narcissist (in a kind way)? They're such broken souls, with such fragile egos, from what I've read, so I've been thinking of taking - some of - this article's advice:http://www.cheating-infidelity.com/Home/narcissism/how-to-manipulate-narcissist.html
It feels like my life has turned into 'The Phantom of the Opera" - one of my fav. movies (lol)
updated by @kit-kat: 09/06/18 01:24:09PM